_Guzman arrives at Toledo, and acts the man of fortune there. Some
account of his gallantries._
It was past nine o’clock when I entered the famous city of Toledo. I
combed my hair and put myself in order, taking particular pains to rub
the dust off my shoes, that I might with the greater assurance be able
to assert that I came in a coach. I requested to be directed to the
best inn, whither I repaired, requiring my supper and lodging like a
young man of fortune, who troubled himself but little about expence. As
these are the sort of customers who are sure to be well treated at inns,
I was immediately shewn into an excellent chamber with a good bed in it,
and waited upon like any prince. I supped perfectly to my satisfaction,
and slept better than I supped.
The next morning after having taken my chocolate, which I called for in
order to impress them with an opinion of my quality, I desired them to
send for a hatter, a shoemaker and a sword-maker, for it was
indispensable for me to have a new hat, sword, and shoes, to correspond
with the rest of my equipage. But the most essential thing of all, was
to procure a tailor to disguise the suit I had bought as much as
possible, lest when I went abroad I might happen to meet some of the
relations of the young man of whom I had purchased it, which might have
raised suspicions dangerous to me in my present situation. I might very
reasonably have supposed that they would know it again, and perhaps
accuse me of having stolen it, and assassinated the young man. Justice
would then have interfered, and this I had more reasons than one to
dread. I sent, therefore, for a tailor, who in a few hours so completely
disguised the suit, by covering the sleeves with taffeta, changing the
buttons, and putting a velvet collar on the cloak, that the devil
himself could scarcely have known it again.
I paid my tailor handsomely; and well pleased that I could now venture
out without the dread of getting into difficulty on account of my dress,
I took a walk towards the evening in the _Zocodover_, where the
fashionables usually promenade. Metamorphosed as I was, I was not
altogether free from apprehension of meeting some one who might
recognize me. This fear, however, did not prevent my feeling gratified
in observing that I was particularly noticed by the prettiest women of
slender virtue, who, looking upon me as a handsome well-shaped young
fellow who had never yet been to Cythera, appeared most anxious to have
the honour of setting me in the right road; but I had resolution enough
to resist all their seducing glances.
What most surprised me was the extreme neatness of all the gentlemen. My
dress, notwithstanding all the tailor’s endeavours to adjust and
beautify it, appeared so shabby in comparison with those around me, that
I resolved on having another. Just at this moment a gentleman mounted on
a beautiful mule crossed the _Zocodover_, in so handsome and stylish a
dress, that I determined to get one, exactly similar, made for myself.
I could scarcely refrain from sending for my tailor that very night. I
managed, however, to wait till morning, though I never closed my eyes
the whole of the night, so completely was I amused and delighted in
considering how handsome I should look in these new trappings. But when
I reflected on the probable expence of them, I began to hesitate,
notwithstanding the eager desire I felt to appear in them.
“Well, Signor Guzman,” said I to myself, “you presume then to dress
magnificently, and to supplant all the gallants at Toledo! well done,
courage, my friend. Spend your reals without reflecting on the deep game
you have played to possess yourself of them. That is not worthy of your
consideration; all you seem to wish is to get rid of your money, and you
will find it go quick enough. Let a suit be made agreeable to your
fancy, and begin courting the ladies; and you will soon come to your
basket again. Rely upon this; but do not think that you can every day
meet with apothecaries who will allow themselves to be purged like your
friend at Madrid.”
All these wise reflections presented themselves, but without effect;
for, no sooner was it day-light than I sent for my tailor, to whom I
gave the order, after having given him an exact description of the dress
I had seen. He promised to make me one exactly similar, undertaking to
go himself and purchase the materials, and assuring me that I should
have it as soon as possible; for I required him to be as expeditious and
punctual, as though I were going to be married, and only waited for my
wedding clothes. He, accordingly, sent it home two days after, and I had
never seen any thing more stylish and elegant; the gold glittered all
over it. When I put it on, I was in raptures at my handsome appearance,
and the beauty of my figure, which was already perfectly well formed
though scarcely fifteen years of age. I thought that I was the very
image of my father when he was young, having a delicate white and red
complexion like him, with light-brown hair. I should never have been
tired of looking in the glass, though I felt most anxious to go abroad
again to be admired in the city. No one who was not so eminently pleased
with his own figure as I was, could have been fool enough to have
satisfied my tailor without disputing his bill, which I might most
conscientiously have reduced two thirds; but I did not then think that I
could possibly pay too much for so tasteful an equipage. Mine hostess
seeing me superbly dressed, told me I ought at least to have a lackey. I
immediately engaged one, therefore, that looked like a page, for whom I
was obliged to find new clothes, to be worthy of a master of my
importance.
The first Sunday, I failed not to attend the great church, followed by
my lackey, to whom I had given proper instructions that he might do me
honour. The congregation was of the first quality in the city; I thrust
myself in the midst of them with a vast deal of assurance, and visited
all the chapels one after another, which caused many to think that I had
some design in my head; it was, however, only to shew myself off.
I placed myself between the two choirs, having observed that the
principal ladies were always in this part of the church. It was here
that I displayed all the fine airs I had seen practised by other young
fools at Madrid, and which I had performed at least twenty times over in
the morning at my glass. The first thing I did, was to choose a spot
where I could be seen from head to foot. Then I thrust out my breast,
and stood firm upon one leg, while I extended the other in so stiff a
position, that it scarcely touched the ground; shewing by this means my
fine stockings, and that I wore garters of the German fashion which were
then in vogue. As this posture cramped me extremely, I was obliged to
vary it every minute, making divers grimaces at the ladies who looked at
me. I smiled upon one, looked coolly upon another, with languishing eyes
upon a third, and with sparkling eyes upon a fourth. In short, I so far
overacted my part that all the ladies and gentlemen who observed my
manœuvres began to titter at my expence. This I took no kind of
notice of, for I had too good an opinion of myself to imagine that they
could find any thing ridiculous in my behaviour.
All the ladies, however, were not disposed to laugh at my extravagant
airs; there were even some among them completely charmed by my manners;
for, without any offence to women in general, it may, undoubtedly, be
asserted, that there are always many of that sex for whom the most
impertinent coxcomb is as exactly a match as if he had been made on
purpose. Amongst others, I had the happiness to please two beautiful
women who could not refrain from letting me know it. The passion of the
one was created by my looks and grimaces; but as to the favourable
sentiments of the other, I could attribute them only to my stars. The
first of my two conquests was a lively looking woman, who had something
roguish in her eye, and a pleasing face. I ogled her like a novice, and
she seemed by no means displeased; for women always prefer apprentices
in this art to their masters. She returned my tender glances, which
encouraged me to follow her after Mass, that I might know where she
lived. She walked very slowly, to shew me that it would not be her fault
if I let her escape, and I soon came up with her, and now and then as I
walked behind her whispered some soft things to her as well as I was
able at my age. She made no reply, yet now and then turned her head
round, looking at me in such a manner as persuaded me that she dared not
speak for fear of the Duenna by whom she was accompanied.
We at length came to a narrow street near St. Cyprian’s Church where she
lived. In entering her house, she bowed her head to me to let me see
that she was not displeased at my having followed her, and did not
forget to dart an amorous look at me, which filled me with love and
hope. I took particular notice of her house, intending to return without
fail that very day to shew myself before her windows. I then took the
way towards my Inn again with hasty steps.
I no sooner got into another street, than a sort of waiting-woman with a
long thick veil thrown over her, accosted me as I passed along: “Signor
Cavalier,” said she, “I beseech you to follow me; I wish to communicate
something of consequence to you.” I did not hesitate a moment, but
followed her until we both stopped under a large open gateway, when,
seeing that nobody could hear us, she addressed me thus: “Charming
stranger, your appearance is so handsome and prepossessing, that you
will not be surprised when I tell you that a lady of quality who has
seen you at church, is quite enchanted and captivated by your elegant
person, and wishes to have a private conversation with you. This lady is
newly married, and so beautiful that ... but,” added she, breaking off
suddenly, “I will say no more; I must let you form your own opinion when
you see her.”
I swallowed this bait most greedily, and could scarcely restrain the
pleasure that I felt. Affecting, however, to appear modest, I answered,
that I knew not in what terms to acknowledge the honour that her
mistress had conferred on me; that I did not doubt she was a person of
the first quality, and that, therefore, I was most anxious to wait upon
her, and throw myself at her feet to thank her for her good opinion of
me. “Signor,” said the Confidante, “it will be dangerous to think of
seeing her at her own house, for she has a jealous husband: but tell me
where you lodge, and I will engage that to-morrow morning at farthest,
you shall have an interview with her in your own apartments.” I gave her
my address, and she immediately departed to rejoin her Mistress, who,
she said, was waiting impatiently to know whether she had reason to
thank Dame Fortune, or to reproach her.
I now found myself engaged in two love-intrigues; but I felt most
inclined towards the first; not that I was displeased with the second,
for it was most flattering to my vanity. “What an advantage it is,”
thought I, “to be handsome! no sooner have I made my appearance at
Toledo, than two ladies, apparently of the first quality, are already in
love with me. What must be the consequence, then, if I stay here long? I
shall undoubtedly captivate all the women in the City.” I returned to my
Inn full of these pleasing thoughts, which, however, did not prevent my
eating a very hearty dinner; after which I sallied out again as soon as
I was able without being incommoded by the heat of the sun, and flew
towards St. Cyprian, where I paced up and down before the windows of the
house into which my first mistress had entered. Not so much as the
shadow of a woman, however, was to be seen; notwithstanding which I
loitered about until it was quite evening, and my perseverance was at
length rewarded. I saw one of the lower windows half opened, which I
approached, and in a nymph, who presented herself to my eyes in an
undress, I recognized my Princess, who told me, with considerable
agitation, that her neighbours, who were a tattling set, would suspect
something, and besought me to remain no longer in the street, but to
retire for some time, and return in about two hours; that there would be
nobody in the house but herself and servants, and that if I pleased, we
might then sup together. I was overjoyed at this invitation, which I
accepted by kissing one of her hands with an air of tenderness, and at
the same time requested that I might be permitted to contribute my dish
towards the supper. “That is by no means necessary,” answered the lady;
“but as what I have in the house may, possibly, not be to your liking,
you can do as you please in that respect.”
As soon as we had settled these preliminaries, I departed for fear of
attracting the attention of the neighbours, and thereby destroying the
happiness in store for me, and rejoined my page, whom I had ordered to
wait for me at the top of the street, and gave him some money, desiring
him to procure me a fine pullet nicely dressed, two partridges, a
rabbit-pie, four bottles of excellent wine, and some of the choicest
fruits. All this was ready, and sent at nine o’clock precisely, and I
soon followed, was received by my nymph in the kindest manner, and
conducted by her into a neat chamber where she usually slept, with a
handsome bed in it, and I could not help observing under a sort of
pavilion made with rose-coloured taffeta, a large tub, in which I
supposed the Signora occasionally bathed herself. The table was spread
here, and the sideboard decorated with my bottles and fruits. I was well
pleased at the sight of these preparations, which seemed to promise me
an agreeable evening, and could only have wished that my lovely hostess
had been in better spirits; for, in spite of her endeavours to affect
gaiety, I plainly perceived that she was uneasy from some cause unknown
to me.
“My charmer,” said I, “allow me to ask the cause of that sadness which
is so evidently depicted on your countenance, and which it is in vain
for you to endeavour to conceal.” “Fair stranger,” answered she,
sighing, “since I have not been able to conceal my mortification from
you, I confess that I am much vexed at some unseasonable news I have
just received. My brother, on whom I am entirely dependent, who has been
to Court to solicit preferment, has just returned to Toledo; I would
have given you notice of this before, had I known where to send to you;
nevertheless,” added she, “as he is now gone to sup with a lady of whom
he is enamoured, I do not expect him home before midnight. We may at
least have the satisfaction of supping, and conversing together; and I
have the consolation to add that he will return to Madrid in a day or
two, to stay there three months. I should otherwise be inconsolable at
his arrival; for he is a man of the most violent temper, and most
punctilious in affairs of honour. You cannot conceive what a prisoner I
am when he is at home; but, thank God, we shall soon be free from him
for some time to come.” This discourse of hers somewhat moderated my
joy; the unforeseen return of a brother, and one of his disposition,
appeared no laughing matter to me. I felt very far from comfortable,
and, to speak truth, was sorry that I had not had notice of it before.
For although I was not one of the greatest cowards, yet I had much
rather have been obliged to fight in a street than in a house, where I
must of necessity defend myself, or lose my ears. As, however, the evil
was now without remedy, I considered myself called upon to shew my
courage and resolution. I entreated the lady, therefore, to have the
supper served up at all events, adding with an air of intrepidity, that
if her brother came in and interrupted us, he might choose what
proceeding he pleased, but whichever he adopted towards me, he should
find that he had to do with one who would be at least his match. The
supper was then brought in, and we sat down together; but at that
instant we heard a loud knock at the door. “O Heavens!” cried she,
rising from her seat as though she was ruined; “that must be my
brother,--what will become of me?”
You will perhaps imagine, that to support the bravery of which I had
just boasted, I prepared courageously to receive the disturber of our
pleasures as I had resolved; but, on the contrary, I was so surprised
and terrified at his return, that I thought of nothing but preserving
myself from his fury, and was going to creep under the bed; but the
sister, considering that I should be safer in the _tub_, thrust me into
it, and covered me with a carpet. Unfortunately for my laced coat this
tub was wet and dirty, independently of which I was much cramped, and
very far from being at my ease in it.
In the mean time the door was opened to this cursed brother, who had no
sooner entered the chamber, than, astonished, or pretending to be so, at
finding the table and sideboard so well set out, he remained for some
moments without speaking a word; but at length breaking silence; “What
means all this preparation, sister?” said he, in an imperative tone;
“have either of us been married to day, or for whom is this
entertainment meant?” “For you only, whom I have been anxiously
expecting,” replied the trembling nymph. “It is something new,”
continued he, “to treat me with this ceremony. You cannot pretend that
it was to celebrate my return from Madrid, for I sent you word that I
should sup in the city.” “True,” replied the lady, “but you well know,
that you have often come and surprised me after having told me the same
thing; and, if you recollect, you have sometimes been angry that I have
not prepared a supper for you.” “I am by no means satisfied,” replied
the brother, “and I fear much that our neighbours’ slanders are but too
well founded. For a lady of quality you are not sufficiently circumspect
in your behaviour. You are well aware of my delicacy on that point,
therefore be cautious of taking any steps which may wound my feelings;
but,” added he, “let us sit down to supper. I am willing for this
evening to put the best interpretation on your intentions.”
At these words he seated himself at the table, and they both fell to
upon my unfortunate supper. As for him, he kept grumbling all the while
he was stuffing at my expence, and his sister could not utter a single
word but what put him into a passion. He cursed and swore, and whenever
she ventured to contradict him in any thing, he seemed almost mad with
rage, called her every vile name he could think of, and seemed ready to
knock her down. Two or three times in the course of their repast, I
ventured to lift up a corner of the carpet with which I was covered to
take a peep at this terrible fellow; but I was so afraid that he would
see me that I dared not take a full view of him.
Time appeared less tedious to him at table than to me in the tub, and I
could not possibly conceive how so passionate a fellow could remain so
long patient even in eating. He amused himself in this manner, however,
for about an hour; and that hour appeared an age to me. He drank at
least as heartily as he ate, and emptied three of my bottles in the
course of his meal; and when the table was cleared, he called for pipes
and tobacco, to make an end, as he said, of the fourth. Upon this the
lady, wishing to make me believe that she desired to get rid of this
intruder, entreated him to go and smoke in his own chamber, and to leave
her at liberty to undress herself and go to bed; but he answered rudely,
that she might retire whither she pleased, but that for his own part he
felt very comfortable where he was, and intended to pass the night
there.
Hearing this last resolution, I now completely gave myself up for lost;
for I had flattered myself that the least this abominable intruder could
do, after having stuffed himself in this style, was to leave the chamber
as he was requested; and that I should remain alone with his sister, to
pick the bones he was kind enough to leave. I even hoped that the latter
part of the night might prove more agreeable to me than the
commencement, but I did not long remain under this flattering delusion.
The lady, as though she partook of my uneasiness, endeavoured to prevail
on her brother to change his mind, but not being able to succeed either
by tears or entreaties, she left the room with all the appearance of
being much distressed on my account. No sooner had she gone, than her
brother began to behave himself as if he were drunk or mad; sometimes
he would sit very quietly for a few minutes, then jump up and walk and
dance about the room with his pipe in his mouth; sometimes he would
snatch up his sword, and fence against the hangings; whistling, singing,
and talking to himself all this while, and swearing like a Jew,
threatening to exterminate any man who should dare even so much as look
at him.
After having passed above half the night in these extravagances, he at
last threw himself at full length on the bed without undressing, placing
his sword and pistols within his reach, by way of precaution. “God be
praised,” said I to myself, “it will not be necessary, now that he is on
the bed, to rock him to sleep; he will soon begin snoring to his heart’s
content.” I was, however, once more out in my reckoning; his wine had
not the same effect upon him that it has upon others, for, instead of
falling asleep, he did nothing but doze at intervals for the space of
about two hours, starting up every moment, and crying out, who’s there?
as if he heard some noise in the chamber. The only noise that I made,
however, in my tub, was in lifting up a corner of the tapestry, to hear
whether he slept or not, which, in my impatience to quit this cursed
house, I certainly did pretty frequently. Heaven at last took pity on
me. This boisterous hero, at about day-break, fell a snoring most
lustily; and I then slipped from under my tub as quietly as possible,
determined to run all risks rather than remain any longer, and reached
the chamber door on tiptoe, with my shoes in my hand. I raised the latch
very gently, and made haste towards the street-door, and being so
fortunate as to find the key hanging up by it, I opened the door, and
ran all the way home to our inn.
Here I found that nobody was yet stirring, not even my page, who
thinking that I should of course pass the night in the arms of love,
had gone to bed very coolly, without giving himself any concern about
me. As I was not willing to disturb any body, I walked into a
pastry-cook’s shop in the neighbourhood, that was just opening, and
telling the master that I was dying with hunger, requested he would
provide me with something to eat. He answered that he had now in his
oven some little pasties, fit to be presented to the Archbishop of
Toledo, which would soon be sufficiently baked. I determined not to lose
this treat, and while I waited until the pasties were drawn from the
oven, I had an opportunity of reflecting on my late cruel adventure, and
the more I considered it, the more lucky did I esteem myself in having
got off so cheaply.
The pastry cook had not, in my opinion, boasted of his pasties without
reason, for I either found them excellent, or else my appetite gave them
an exquisite taste, which they probably had not. When I left this shop
it was quite day; I entered our inn and hastened to my chamber, where I
lay down on my bed, and at last fell into a sound sleep, after having
tumbled about for two hours without being able to get my late adventure
with the brother and sister, and the characters which they had so well
supported, out of my head.