I am glad to know that you too have a good opinion of that poem.[6]
One should know about one's own work. Most writers think their work
good, but good writers know it. Pardon me if I underrated your
astronomical knowledge. My belief was based on your use of those
names. I never met with the spelling "Betelgeux"; and even if it is
correct and picturesque I'd not use it if I were you, for it does not
quite speak itself, and you can't afford to jolt the reader's
attention from your thought to a matter of pronunciation. In my
student days we, I am sure, were taught to say Procy'on. I don't think
I've heard it pronounced since, and I've no authority at hand. If you
are satisfied with Pro'cyon I suppose it is that. But your
pronunciation was Aldeb'aran or your meter very crazy indeed. I asked
(with an interrogation point) if it were not Aldeba'ran--and I think
it is. Fomalhaut I don't know about; I thought it French and
masculine. In that case it would, I suppose, be "ho," not "hote."
[6] "The Testimony of the Suns."
Don't cut out that stanza, even if "clime" doesn't seem to me to have
anything to do with duration. The stanza is good enough to stand a
blemish.
"Ye stand rebuked by suns who claim"--I was wrong in substituting
"that" for "who," not observing that it would make it ambiguous. I
merely yielded to a favorite impulse: to say "that" instead of "who,"
and did not count the cost.
Don't cut out _any_ stanza--if you can't perfect them let them go
imperfect.
"Without or genesis or end."
"Devoid of birth, devoid of end."