Contrary to the usual custom there were no official dinners on the eve
of the opening of Parliament. The explanation of this is clear to the
German Press. It was due to scarcity of food.
* * *
Upon receipt of the Japanese ultimatum, the KAISER, it may be
remembered, cabled to the commander of his Chinese fortress:--"Bear in
mind that it would shame me more to surrender Kiaochau to the Japanese
than Berlin to the Russians." The kind-hearted Russians will now, we
feel sure, have less compunction in taking Berlin, seeing that the blow
will have been softened to an anticlimax.
* * *
The KAISER'S hair, it is said, is now bleached: but this attempt to look
like a white man will deceive no one.
* * *
Just as we go to press a report reaches us which certainly bears the
impress of truth on the face of it. It declares that the CROWN PRINCE
has been shot for looting by a short-sighted brother-officer who did not
recognise the son of God's Vice-regent on Earth.
* * *
"The British Navy is in hiding," says the _Koelnische Zeitung_. We beg
our fragrant contemporary not to worry. In due course the Germans shall
have the hiding.
* * *
It is so frequently stated that the leaders of the German Army attach no
importance to the lives of their men that it seems only fair to point
out that last week Brussels was fined L200,000 for wounding a couple of
German policemen.
* * *
Neither the French, Russian, Belgian, nor British troops like the idea
of fighting against the mere youths whom a paternal KAISER is now
sending into the firing line, and a humane suggestion has been put
forward for correcting this embarrassment. Would it not be possible, it
is asked, to arrange Boys' Own Battles, in which the German little ones
would be opposed by the young of the Allies?
* * *
"Klopstock, one of our greatest geniuses," says the _Hamburger
Fremdenblatt_, "taught us, 'Be not excessively just.' We shall endeavour
now to follow that teaching." We should say that there is no great
danger of the German nation breaking down under the strain of this
effort.
* * *
"How ever do the Teutons manage to produce so many lies about us?" asks
"A Lover of Truth." Our correspondent is evidently not much of a
gardener or he would have heard of "Intensive Culture."
* * *
The reply published by the _Vossische Zeitung_ to the protest of French
clergymen against the destruction of Louvain and the shelling of Rheims
Cathedral contained at least one unfortunate expression. It asserted
that the GERMAN EMPEROR and the German People are both permeated with a
burning love of peace.
* * *
The Rev. Mr. EDWARDS has resigned his assistant curacy at Tettenhall
under somewhat peculiar circumstances, but we are sure the case is not
so bad as _The Wolverhampton Express_ would have us believe. According
to our contemporary this gentleman exhorted his congregation "not to
hate the Germans, but rather to pay for them."
* * *
A wounded Tommy in one of our London hospitals, on being asked, the
other day, by a lady visitor what he thought of the French soldiers,
replied that he very much admired the French Curacaos.
* * *
When in Breslau, The Evening News tells us, the KAISER promised that the
Russian Army should be crushed. Fortunately in this case the undertaking
was not even written on a scrap of paper.
* * *
"For thirty-two years," says the _Vossische Zeitung_, "Egypt has had to
endure British rule." Curiously enough this bright little sheet does not
go on to point out that during the same period the poor Egyptians have
also had to put up with a good deal of prosperity.
* * * * *