CHAPTER XVI

SUPPER (_continued_)

"To feed were best at home;

From thence the sauce to meat is ceremony;

Meeting were bare without it."

Old supper-houses--The Early Closing

Act--Evans's--Cremorne Gardens--The "Albion"--Parlour

cookery--Kidneys fried in the fire-shovel--The true way

to grill a bone--"Cannie Carle"--My lady's bower--Kidney

dumplings--A Middleham supper--Steaks cut from a colt by

brother to "Strafford" out of sister to "Bird on the Wing."

The Early Closing Act of 1872 had a disastrous effect upon the old

London supper-houses. What Mr. John Hollingshead never tired of

calling the "slap-me-and-put-me-to-bed law" rang the knell of many a

licensed tavern, well-conducted, where plain, well-cooked food and

sound liquor were to be obtained by men who would have astonished

their respective couches had they sought them before the small hours.

_Evans's._

The "Cave of Harmony" of Thackeray was a different place to the

"Evans's" of my youthful days. Like the younger Newcome, I was taken

there in the first instance, by the author of my being. But Captain

Costigan was conspicuous by his absence; and "Sam Hall" was _non est_.

I noted well the abnormal size of the broiled kidneys, and in my

ignorance of anatomy, imagined that Evans's sheep must be subjected

to somewhat the same process--the "ordeal by fire"--as the Strasbourg

geese. And the potatoes--zounds, sirs! What potatoes! "Shall I turn

it out, sir?" inquired the attentive waiter; and, as he seized the

tuber, enveloped in the snow-white napkin, broke it in two, and

ejected a floury pyramid upon my plate, I would, had I known of such

a decoration in those days, have gladly recommended that attendant

for the Distinguished Service order. In the course of many visits I

never saw any supper commodity served here besides chops, steaks,

kidneys, welsh-rarebits, poached eggs, and (I think) sausages; and

the earliest impression made upon a youthful memory was the air of

extreme confidence which pervaded the place. We certainly "remembered"

the waiter; but not even a potato was paid for until we encountered

the head functionary at the exit door; and his peculiar ideas of

arithmetic would have given Bishop Colenso a succession of fits.

Who "Evans" was, we neither knew nor cared. "Paddy" Green, with his

chronic smile, was enough for us; as he proffered his ever-ready

snuff-box, inquired after our relatives--"Paddy," like "Spanky" at

Eton, knew everybody--and implored silence whilst the quintette

_Integer Vitæ_ was being sung by the choir. We used to venerate

that quintette far more than any music we ever heard in church, and

I am certain "Paddy" Green would have backed his little pack of

choristers--who, according to the general belief, passed the hours of

daylight in waking the echoes of St. Paul's Cathedral, or Westminster

Abbey, and therefore, at Evans's, always looked a bit stale and

sleepy--against any choir in the world. As for Harry Sidney, the fat,

jolly-looking gentleman who was wont to string together the topics of

the day and reproduce them, fresh as rolls, set to music, we could

never hear enough of him; and I wish I had now some of the half-crowns

which in the past were bestowed upon Herr Von Joel, the indifferent

_siffleur_, who was "permanently retained upon the premises," and who

was always going to take a benefit the following week.

"Kidneys and 'armony"--that was the old programme in the "Cave." And

then the march of time killed poor old Paddy, and another management

reigned. Gradually the "lady element" was introduced, and a portion of

the hall was set apart for the mixed assembly. And then came trouble,

and, finally, disestablishment. And for some time before the closing

of the Cave as a place of entertainment, it was customary to remove

the fine old pictures (what became of them, I wonder), from the walls,

at "Varsity Boat Race" time. For the undergraduate of those days was

nothing if not rowdy. Youth will have its fling; and at Evans's the

fling took the form of tumblers. Well do I recollect a fight in "the

old style" in the very part of the "Cave" where eminent barristers,

actors, and other wits of a past age, used to congregate. The premier

boxer of Cambridge University had been exercising his undoubted

talents as a breaker of glass, during the evening, and at length the

overwrought manager obliged him with an opponent worthy of his fists

in the person of a waiter who could also put up his fists. Several

rounds were fought, strictly according to the rules of the Prize Ring,

and in the result, whilst the waiter had sustained considerable damage

to his ribs, the "Cambridge gent" had two very fine black eyes. Well

do I remember that "mill," also the waiter, who afterwards became an

habitual follower of the turf.

If Cremorne introduced the fashion of "long drinks," sodas, and

et ceteras, the suppers served in the old gardens had not much to

recommend them. A slice or two of cold beef, or a leg of a chicken,

with some particularly salt ham, formed the average fare; but those

who possessed their souls with patience occasionally saw something

hot, in the way of food--chiefly cutlets. The great virtue of the

cutlet is that it can be reheated; and one dish not infrequently did

duty for more than one party. The rejected portion, in fact, would

"reappear" as often as a retiring actor. "I know them salmon cutlets,"

the waiter in _Pink Dominoes_ used to observe, "as well as I know my

own mother!" In fact, Cremorne, like the "night houses" of old, was

not an ideal place to sup at.

But, _per contra_, the "Albion" _was_. Until the enforcement of

the "slap-me-and-put-me-to-bed" policy there was no more justly

celebrated house of entertainment than the one which almost faced the

stage door of Drury Lane theatre, in Great Russell Street. One of the

brothers Cooper--another kept the Rainbow in Fleet Street--retired

on a fortune made here, simply by pursuing the policy of giving his

customers the best of everything. And a rare, Bohemian stamp of

customers he had, too--a nice, large-hearted, open-handed lot of

actors, successful and otherwise, dramatic critics ditto, and ditto

journalists, also variegated in degree; with the usual, necessary,

leavening of the "City" element. The custom of the fair sex was not

encouraged at the old tavern; though in a room on the first floor

they were permitted to sup, if in "the profession" and accompanied

by males, whose manners and customs could be vouched for. In winter

time, assorted grills, of fish, flesh, and fowl, were served as supper

dishes; whilst tripe was the staple food. Welsh rarebits, too, were in

immense demand. And I think it was here that I devoured, with no fear

of the future before my plate, a

_Buck Rarebit_.

During the silent watches of the rest of the morning, bile and

dyspepsia fought heroically for my soul; and yet the little animal

is easy enough to prepare, being nothing grander than a Welsh

rarebit, with a poached egg atop. But the little tins (silver, like

the forks and spoons, until the greed and forgetfulness of mankind

necessitated the substitution of electro-plate) which the Hebes

at the "Old Cheshire Cheese" fill with fragments of the hostelry's

godfather--subsequently to be stewed in good old ale--are less harmful

to the interior of the human diaphragm.

A favourite Albion supper-dish during the summer months was

_Lamb's Head and Mince_.

I have preserved the recipe, a gift from one of the waiters--but

whether Ponsford, Taylor, or "Shakespeare" (so-called because he bore

not the faintest resemblance to the immortal bard) I forget--and here

it is:

The head should be scalded, scraped, and well washed.

Don't have it singed, in the Scottish fashion, as lamb's

wool is not nice to eat. Then put it, with the liver (the

sweetbread was chopped up with the brain, I fancy), into a

stewpan, with a Spanish onion stuck with cloves, a bunch of

parsley, a little thyme, a carrot, a turnip, a bay leaf, some

crushed peppercorns, a tablespoonful of salt, and half a gallon

of cold water. Let it boil up, skim, and then simmer for an

hour. Divide the head, take out the tongue and brain, and dry

the rest of the head in a cloth. Mince the liver and tongue,

season with salt and pepper, and simmer in the original gravy

(thickened) for half-an-hour. Brush the two head-halves with

yolk of egg, grate bread crumbs over, and bake in oven. The

brain and sweetbread to be chopped and made into cakes, fried,

and then placed in the dish around the head-halves.

Ah me! The old tavern, after falling into bad ways, entertaining

"extra-ladies" and ruined gamesters, has been closed for years. The

ground floor was a potato warehouse the last time I passed the place.

And it should be mentioned that the actors, journalists, etc., who,

in the 'seventies, possessed smaller means, or more modest ambitions,

were in the habit of supping--on supping days--at a cheaper haunt in

the Strand, off (alleged) roast goose. But, according to one Joseph

Eldred, a comedian of some note and shirt-cuff, the meat which was

apportioned to us here was, in reality, always bullock's heart,

sliced, and with a liberal allowance of sage and onions. "It's the

seasoning as does it," observed Mr. Samuel Weller.

Then there was another Bohemian house of call, and supper place,

in those nights--the "Occidental," once known as the "Coal Hole,"

where, around a large, beautifully polished mahogany table, many of

the wits of the town--"Harry" Leigh and "Tom" Purnell were two of

the inveterates--sat, and devoured Welsh rarebits, and other things.

The house, too, could accommodate not a few lodgers; and one of its

great charms was that nobody cared a button what time you retired to

your couch, or what time you ordered breakfast. In these matters, the

Occidental resembled the "Limmer's" of the "Billy Duff" era, and the

"Lane's" of my own dear subaltern days.

_Parlour Cookery._

It was after the last-named days that, whilst on tour with various

dramatic combinations--more from necessity than art, as far as I

was concerned--that the first principles of parlour cookery became

impregnated in mine understanding. We were not all "stars," although

we did our best. Salaries were (according to the advertisements)

"low but sure"; and (according to experiences) by no means as sure

as death, or taxes. The "spectre" did not invariably assume his

"martial stalk," of a Saturday; and cheap provincial lodgings do not

hold out any extra inducement in the way of cookery. So, whilst we

endured the efforts of the good landlady at the early dinner, some of

us determined to dish up our own suppers. For the true artist never

really feels (or never used to feel, at all events) like "picking a

bit" until merely commercial folks have gone to bed.

Many a time and oft, with the aid of a cigar box (empty, of course),

a couple of books, and an arrangement of plates, have I prepared a

savoury supper of mushrooms, toasted cheese, or a _kebob_ of larks, or

other small fowl, in front of the fire. More than once have I received

notice to quit the next morning for grilling kidneys on the perforated

portion of a handsome and costly steel fire-shovel. And by the time I

had become sufficiently advanced in culinary science to stew tripe and

onions, in an enamel-lined saucepan, the property of the "responsible

gent," we began to give ourselves airs. Landladies' ideas on the

subject of supper for "theatricals," it may be mentioned, seldom

soared above yeast dumplings. And few of us liked the name, even, of

yeast dumplings.

But perhaps the champion effort of all was when I was sojourning in

the good city of Carlisle--known to its inhabitants by the pet name

of "Cannie Carle." A good lady was, for her sins, providing us with

board and lodging, in return for (promised) cash. My then companion

was a merry youth who afterwards achieved fame by writing the very

funniest and one of the most successful of three-act farces that was

ever placed upon the stage. Now there is not much the matter with a

good joint of ribs of beef, roasted to a turn. But when that beef

is placed on the table hot for the Sunday dinner, and cold at every

succeeding meal until finished up, one's appetite for the flesh of

the ox begins to slacken. So we determined on the Wednesday night to

"strike" for a tripe supper.

"Indeed," protested the good landlady, "ye'll get nae tripe in this

hoose, cannie men. Hae ye no' got guid beef, the noo?"

Late that night we had grilled bones for supper; not the ordinary

_Grilled Bones_

which you get in an eating house, but a vastly superior article.

We, or rather my messmate, cut a rib from off the aforementioned

beef, scored the flesh across, and placed the bone in the centre of

a beautifully clear fire which had been specially prepared. It was

placed there by means of the tongs--a weapon of inestimable value in

Parlour Cookery--and withdrawn by the same medium. Some of the black

wanted scraping off the surface of the meat, but the grill was a

perfect dream. The GUBBINS SAUCE, already mentioned in this volume,

had not at that time been invented; but as I was never without a

bottle of TAPP SAUCE--invaluable for Parlour Cookery; you can get it

at Stembridge's--we had plenty of relish. Then we severed another rib

from the carcase, and served it in the same manner. For it was winter

time and we had wearied of frigid ox.

Next morning the landlady's face was a study. I rather think that

after some conversation, we propitiated her with an order for two for

the dress circle; but it is certain that we had tripe that evening.

An ideal supper in _miladi's boudoir_ is associated, in the writer's

mind, with rose-coloured draperies, dainty china, a cosy fire, a

liberal display of _lingerie_, a strong perfume of heliotrope and

orris root--and _miladi_ herself. When next she invites her friends,

she will kindly order the following repast to be spread:--

Clear soup, in cups.

Fillets of soles Parisienne.

Chaudfroid of Quails.

Barded sweetbreads.

Perigord pâté.

By way of contrast, let me quote a typical supper-dish which the "poor

player" used to order, when he could afford it.

_Kidney Dumpling._

Cut a large Spanish onion in half. Take out the heart, and

substitute a sheep's kidney, cut into four. Season with salt

and pepper, join the two halves, and enclose in a paste. Bake

on a buttered tin, in a moderate oven, for about an hour.

_N.B._--Be sure the cook _bakes_ this dumpling, as it is

not nice boiled.

An artistic friend who at one time of his life resided near the great

horse-training centre of Middleham, in Yorkshire, gave a steak supper

at the principal inn, to some of the stable attendants. The fare was

highly approved of.

"Best Scotch beef I ever put tooth into!" observed the "head lad" at

old Tom Lawson's stables.

"Ah!" returned the host, who was a bit of a wag, "your beef was cut

from a colt of Lord Glasgow's that was thought highly of at one time;

and he was shot the day before yesterday."

And it was so. For Lord Glasgow never sold nor gave away a horse, but

had all his "failures" shot.

And then a great cry went up for brown brandy.

Cakes & Ale A Dissertation on Banquets Interspersed with Various Recipes, More or Less Original, and anecdotes, mainly veracious · 第 16 / 22 章