_OR, WHAT IS LOOMING A-HEAD._
A Deputation on behalf of the Exasperated Ratepayers' Association
waited yesterday afternoon on the Chairman of the London School
Board at their new and commodious palatial premises erected on the
vast central site recently cleared, regardless of expense, for that
purpose in Piccadilly, and presented a further protest against the
ever-increasing expenditure indulged in by that body. The Chairman,
smilingly intimating that he would hear what the Deputation had to
say, though he added, amidst the ill-suppressed merriment of his
_confrères_, he supposed it was the old sing-song protest, possibly
on this occasion because they had recently directed that the boys
attending the schools of the Board should come in "Eton" suits,
the cost of which naturally fell upon the rates, or some captious
objection of that kind, which it really was a waste of breath to
discuss. However, whatever it was, he added, he was willing to hear
it.
The Spokesman of the Deputation, a Duke in reduced circumstances,
who ascribed his ruin to the heavy rates he had been called upon to
pay through the extravagance of the Board, and who declined to give
his name, said that though they had not thought the Eton suits a
necessity, still it was not against them that they had to protest.
It was the addition of Astronomy involving the erection (with fitting
first-class instruments) of 341 observatories in the London district
alone, Chinese, taught by 500 native Professors imported from Pekin
for the purpose, horse-riding, yachting, and the church organ (these
last two being compulsory), together with the use of the tricycle,
type-writer, and phonograph, all of which instruments were provided
for every single pupil at the expense of the ratepayers, to the
curriculum of all those pupils who were fitted for the third standard.
The speaker said he knew that it had long been settled that the finest
and most comprehensive education that our advanced civilisation could
supply should be provided for the submerged half of the population,
and they could not grumble at these things, but what they did not
consider necessary was, that a salary should be forthcoming for each
pupil-teacher sufficient to enable him or her to drive down to the
schools in their own carriage and pair. (_Much laughter._) He did not
think it a laughing matter. He would strongly suggest a diminution of
at least £1000 a-year in the salaries of these overpaid officials.
The Chairman here asked the speaker if he had considered that
"descending" from a carriage was necessarily connected with the
teaching of Deportment, on which the Board set great value? Was he
not aware that some great man had said, wishing to give Deportment its
proper weight as an educational factor, that the Battle of Waterloo
(at least he thought he was quoting correctly) was won at Almacks?
(_Renewed laughter._) Anyhow, he did not consider that £2,500 a-year,
and a house in Mayfair, was at all an excessive remuneration for a
School-Board teacher, as measured by the Board's standard. He thought,
if that was all the Deputation had to urge, that they might have saved
themselves the trouble their protest had cost them.
The Spokesman having for a few moments consulted with his colleagues,
hereupon turned to the Chairman, and delivering with fearful emphasis
the customary curse on the School Board, its Chairman, and all its
belongings, at the same time thanking the Chairman for his courteous
reception of the Deputation, silently and sulkily withdrew.
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DRURIOLANUS AND DANCING.--The Fancy Dress Ball--not a "Ball
Marsky"--at Covent Garden, last Tuesday week, was a great success,
on which DRURIOLANUS FORTUNATUS is hereby congratulated. There is to
be a similar festivity, to celebrate _Mi-Carême_. Quite appropriate
this date, when the season is half Lent, and the costumes almost all
borrowed.
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[Illustration: AN APPEAL CASE, HOUSE OF LORDS.]
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