"_And_ a spatchcock," added our guest. "They're famous, here, for
spatchcock. _And_, yes, I think we'll say an anchovy toast. Tea? Well,
perhaps, at this time of the morning--with a poker in it."
This allusion to a poker we did not understand; but fortunately the waiter
did, and brought a glassful of rum, which Mr. Strangways--for so he had
made himself known to us--tipped into his tea, assuring us that the great
Nelson had ever been wont to refer to this--his favourite mixture--as
"the pride of the morning."
"By the way," he went on, with his mouth full of kidney, "the second
lieutenant tells me you were in luck's way last night."
To this we modestly agreed, and hoped that the prisoners had arrived
safely on board.
He grinned. "You may lay to that. We had to club half a dozen of them as
soon as they were lifted aboard. When I say 'we' I ought to add that I
was in my hammock and never heard a word of it, being a heavy sleeper.
_That,_" said Mr. Strangways pensively, "is my one fault."
We attempted to convey by our silence that Mr. Strangways' single fault
was a trifling, a venial one.
"It'll hinder my prospects, all the same." He nodded. "You mark my
words." He nodded again, and helped himself to a round of buttered toast.
"But I'm told," he went on, "there was an unholy racket. They couldn't
do much, having the jollies on both pair of paws; but a party in
mother-o'-pearl buttons made a speech about the liberty of the subject, in
a voice that carried pretty nearly to Gosport: and the first lieutenant,
being an old woman, and afraid of the ship's losing reputation while he
was in charge, told them all to be good boys and he would speak to the
Captain when he came aboard; and served them out three fingers of rum
apiece, which the bo'sun took upon himself to hocus. By latest accounts,
they're sleeping it off and--I say, waiter, you might tell the cook to
devil those kidneys."
"But hasn't Captain Suckling returned yet?" I ventured to ask.
"He hasn't," said Mr. Strangways. "The deuce knows where he is, and the
first lieutenant, not being in the deuce's confidence, is working himself
into the deuce of a sweat. What's worse, His Excellency hasn't turned up
yet, nor His Excellency's suite: though a boat waited for 'em five solid
hours yesterday. All that arrived was His Excellency's valet and about a
score of valises, and word that the great man would follow in a
shore-boat. Which he hasn't."
From this light gossip Mr. Strangways turned and addressed himself to the
devilled kidneys, remarking that in his Britannic Majesty's service a man
was hungry as a matter of course; which I afterwards and experimentally
found to be true.
Well--not to protract the tale--an hour later we took boat with our
belongings, under Mr. Strangways' escort, and were pulled on a swift tide
down to the ship. It so happened that the first and second lieutenants
were standing together in converse on the break of the poop when we
climbed on board and were led aft to report ourselves. The second
lieutenant, Mr. Fraser (in whom we recognised our friend of the night
before) stepped to the gangway and shook hands with a jolly smile.
His superior offered us no such cheerful welcome, but stuck his hands
behind him and scowled.
"H'm," said he, "are these your two infants? They look as if they had
been making a night of it."
I could have answered (but did not) that we must be looking pasty-faced
indeed if his gills had the advantage of us: for the man was plainly
fretting himself to fiddle-strings with anxiety. He turned his back upon
us and called forward for one of the master's mates, to whom he gave
orders to show us our hammocks. We saluted and took leave of him, and on
our way below fell in with Strangways again, who haled us off to introduce
us to the gun-room.
Of the gun-room and its horrors you'll have formed--if lads still read
their Marryat nowadays--your own conception; and I will only say that it
probably bears the same relation to the _Melpomene's_ gun-room as chalk to
cheese. The _Melpomene's_ gun-room was low--so low that Strangways seldom
entered it but he contused himself--and it was also dark as the inside of
a hat, and undeniably stuffy.
Yet to me, in my first flush of enthusiasm, it appeared eminently cosy:
and the six midshipmen of the _Melpomene_--Walters, de Havilland,
Strangways, Pole, Bateman, Countisford--six as good fellows as a man could
wish to sail with. Youth, youth! They had their faults: but they were
all my friends till the yellow fever carried off two at Port Royal;
and two are alive yet and my friends to-day. I tell their six names over
to-day like a string of beads, and (if the Lord will forgive a good
Protestant) with a prayer for each.
Our next business was to become acquainted with the two marines who had
carried our chests below, and who (as we proudly understood) were to be
our body-servants. We were on deck again, and luckily out of hearing of
our fellow-midshipmen, when these two menials came up to report
themselves: and Hartnoll and I had just arrived at an amicable choice
between them.
"Here, Bill," said the foremost, advancing and pointing at me with a
forefinger, "which'll it be? If you _don't_ mind, I'll take the
red-headed one, to put me in mind o' my gal."
So on the whole we settled ourselves down very comfortably aboard the
_Melpomene_: but the ship was not easy that day as a society, nor could
be, with her commanding officer pacing to and fro like a bear in a cage.
You will have seen the black bear at the Zoo, and noticed the swing of his
head as he turns before ever reaching the end of his cage? Well just so--
or very like it--the _Melpomene's_ first lieutenant kept swinging and
chafing on the quarter-deck all that afternoon--or, to be precise, until
six o'clock, when Captain Suckling came aboard in a shore-boat, and in his
shore-going clothes.
He was a pleasant-faced man; clean-shaven, rosy-complexioned, grey-haired,
with something of the air and carriage of a country squire; a
pleasant-tempered man too, although he appeared to be in a pet of some
sort, and fairly fired up when the first lieutenant (a little
sarcastically, I thought) ventured to hope that he had been enjoying
himself.
"Nothing of the sort, sir! It's the first--" Captain Suckling checked
himself. "I was going to say," he resumed more quietly, "that it's the
first prize-fight I have ever attended and will be the last. But in point
of fact there has been no fight."
"Indeed, sir?" I heard the first lieutenant murmur compassionately.
"The men did not turn up; neither they nor their trainers. The whole
meeting, in fact, was what is vulgarly called a bilk. But where is Sir
John?"
"I beg your pardon, sir?"
"His Excellency--you have made him comfortable?"
"His Excellency, sir, has not turned up. In fact," said the first
lieutenant prettily, "I fancy that His Excellency, too, must have done
what is--er--vulgarly termed a bilk."
Captain Suckling stared from his lieutenant to the shore, and from the
shore to the horizon.
"The boat waited no less than five hours for him yesterday, and in the
end brought off his valet with some luggage. He gave us to understand
that Sir John and his Secretary would follow in a shore-boat. This was
twenty-four hours ago, and they have not appeared."
"Extraordinary!"
"I have to report also," said the first lieutenant, "that at seven
o'clock, in accordance with orders, Mr. Fraser took a party ashore.
The press has been active of late, and at first they found the whole town
shy: in fact, sir, they met with no success at all until midnight, when,
just as they were on the point of returning, they raided a house and
brought off eight able-bodied fellows--as fine a lot, sir, physically, as
you could wish to see. For their seamanship I am unable to answer, having
had no opportunity to question them. To judge from his report Mr. Fraser
handled the affair well, and brought them off expeditiously; and I am
relieved to tell you that, so far, we have had no trouble from shore--not
so much as an inquiry sent."
"That is luck, indeed," said Captain Suckling approvingly; "and a comfort
to hear at the end of a day when everything has gone wrong. Fetch them
up--that is, if they are sufficiently recovered; fetch them up, and when
I've shifted these clothes I'll have a look at them while daylight
serves."
The Captain went below: and five minutes later I saw the first of the
prisoners haled up through the hatchway. It was the man in the double
overcoat; but he had lost his colour, and he no sooner reached the deck
than he lurched and sat down with a thud. Since no one helped him to
rise, he remained seated, and gazed about him with a drugged and vacuous
stare, while the light of the approaching sunset shimmered over his
mother-of-pearl buttons.
The next to emerge was my friend of the splendid torso, handcuffed and
fettered. When he, too, lurched and fell, I became aware for the first
time that the frigate was rocking on a gentle south-westerly swell, and I
turned to the bulwarks for a glance overside at the water which, up to an
hour ago, had been smooth as a pond. I had scarcely reached the bulwarks
when a voice forward sang out that a boat was approaching and hailing us.
Sure enough, a boat there was: and in the stern-sheets, with a couple of
watermen pulling, sat two men of whom the portliss was promptly and
confidently proclaimed by the midshipmen gathered around me to be no other
than His Excellency.
The boat approached and fell alongside the ladder suspended a few yards
aft of the ship's waist. The first lieutenant, having sent word to the
Captain, hurried forward to receive our distinguished guest, who climbed
heavily on his Secretary's arm. Arriving thus at the sally-way, he nodded
graciously in answer to the first lieutenant's salute, pulled out a
handkerchief to mop his brow, and in the act of mopping it cast a glance
across the deck.
"Captain Suckling has asked me to present his excuses to your
Excellency--" began the first lieutenant in his best tone of ceremony;
and, with that, took a step backward as His Excellency flung out a rigid
arm.
"The Dustman! for a fiver!"
"I--I beg your Excellency's pardon--your Excellency was pleased to
observe--"
"The Dustman, for a hundred pounds! Jem Clark, too! Oh, catch me,
Winyates!" and His Excellency staggered back, clutching at a man-rope with
one hand, pointing with the other. His gaze wavered from the prisoners
amidships to the first lieutenant, and from the first lieutenant to the
poop-ladder, at the head of which Captain Suckling at this instant
appeared, hastily buttoning his uniform coat as he came.
"A thousand pardons, your Excellency!"
"A thousand pounds, sir!"
"Hey?"
"If that's not the very pair of scoundrels I've been hunting the length
and breadth of Hampshire. Fareham was the venue, Captain Suckling--if I
am addressing Captain Suckling--"
"You are, sir. I--I think you said Fareham--"
"I did, sir. I don't mind confessing to you--here on the point of
departing from England--that I admire the noble art, sir: so much so that
I have wasted a whole day in the neighbourhood of Fareham, hunting for a
prize-fight which never came off."
"But--but I don't mind confessing to your Excellency," gasped Captain
Suckling, "that _I_ too have been at Fareham and have--er--met with the
same disappointment."
"Disappointment, sir! When you have kidnapped the scoundrels--when you
have them on board at this moment!" Sir John pointing a shaking
forefinger again at the pressed men.
Captain Suckling stared in the direction where the finger pointed.
"You don't mean to tell me--" he began weakly, addressing the first
lieutenant.
"Mr. Fraser brought them aboard, sir," said the first lieutenant.
"And we'll have the law of you for it," promised the man in the pearl
buttons from amidships, but in a weakening voice.
Captain Suckling was what they call an officer and a gentleman. He drew
himself up at once.
"In my absence my officers appear to have made a small mistake. But I
hope your Excellency may not be disappointed after all. I have never set
eyes on either of these men before, but if that naked man be the Dustman I
will put up a hundred pounds upon him, here and now; or on the other if
that runs counter to your Excellency's fancy--"
"Jem Clark's my man," said Sir John. "I'll match your stake, sir."
"--And liberty for all if they show a decent fight, and a boat to set them
ashore," went on Captain Suckling. "Is that a fair offer, my men?"
The man in the pearl buttons raised his head to answer for the two
pugilists, who by this time were totally incapable of answering for
themselves. He showed pluck, too; for his face shone with the colour of
pale marble.
"A hundred pounds! Oh, go to blazes with your hundred pounds! When I
tell you the Prince Regent himself had five hundred on it. . . . Oh! prop
'em up, somebody! and let the fools see what they've done to poor Jem,
that I'd a-trained to a hair. And the money of half the fancy depending
on his condition. . . ."
"Prop 'em up, some of you!" echoed Captain Suckling. "Eh? God bless my
soul--"
He paused, staring from the yellow faces of the pugilists to the battered
and contused features of his own seamen.
"God bless my soul!" repeated Captain Suckling. "Mr. Fraser!"
"Sir!" The second lieutenant stepped forward.
"You mean to tell me that--that these two men--inflicted--er--_all this?_"
"They did, sir. If I might explain the unfortunate mistake--"
"You describe it accurately, sir. I could say to you, as Sir Isaac Newton
said to his dog Diamond, 'Oh, Mr. Fraser, Mr. Fraser, you little know what
you have done!'"
"Indeed, sir, I fear we acted hastily. The fact is we found the two new
midshipmen, Rodd and Hartnoll, in something of a scrape with these people.
. . ." The second lieutenant told how he had found me battering at the
door, and how he had effected an entrance: but the Captain listened
inattentively.
"Your Excellency," he said, interrupting the narrative and turning on the
Governor, "I really think these men will give us little sport here."
"They are going to be extremely ill," said His Excellency, "and that
presently."
"I had better send them ashore."
"Decidedly; and before they recover. Also, if I might advise, I would not
be too hasty in knocking off their handcuffs."
"We are short-handed," mused Captain Suckling; "but really the situation
will be a delicate one unless we weigh anchor at once."
"You will be the laughing-stock of all the ships inside the Wight, and the
object of some indignation ashore."
"There is nothing to detain us, for doubtless I can pick up a few recruits
at Falmouth. . . . But what to do with these men?"
"May I suggest that I have not yet dismissed my shore-boat?"
"The very thing!" Captain Suckling gazed overside, and then southward
towards the Wight, whence a light sea-fog was drifting up again to envelop
us.
"I never thought," he murmured, "to be thankful for thick weather to weigh
anchor in!"
He turned and stared pensively at the line of prisoners who had staggered
one by one to the bulwarks, and leaned there limply, their resentment lost
for the time in the convulsions of nature.
"It seems like taking advantage of their weakness," said he pensively.
"It does," agreed His Excellency; "but I strongly advise it."
A moment, and a moment only, Captain Suckling hesitated before giving the
order. . . . Then in miserable procession the strong men were led past us
to the ladder, each supported by two seamen. The gangway was crowded, and
my inches did not allow me to look over the bulwarks: but I heard the
boatswain knocking off their irons in the boat below, and the objurgating
voice of the man in the pearl buttons.
"Give way!" shouted someone. I edged towards the gangway and stooped; and
then, peering between the legs of my superior officers, I saw the boat
glide away from the frigate's side. Our friends lay piled on the
bottom-boards and under the thwarts like a catch of fish. One or two
lifted clenched fists: and the boatmen, eyeing them nervously, fell to
their oars for dear life.
As the fog swallowed them, someone took me by the ear.
"Hullo, young gentlemen," said His Excellency, pinching me and reaching
out a hand for Hartnoll, who evaded him, "it seems to me you deserve a
thrashing apiece for yesterday and a guinea apiece for to-day. Will you
take both, or shall we call it quits?"
Well, we called it quits for the time. But twenty years later, happening
upon me at Buckingham Palace at one of King William's last levees, he
shook hands and informed me that the balance sheet at the time had been
wrongly struck: for I had provided him with a story which had served him
faithfully through half his distinguished career. A week later a dray
rumbled up to the door of my lodgings in Jermyn Street, and two stout men
delivered from it a hogshead of the sherry you are now drinking.
He had inquired for Hartnoll's address, but Hartnoll, poor lad, had lain
for fifteen years in the British burial-ground at Port Royal.