"I often thinks o' Columbus and the egg. All them big folks in Spain
was settin' areound, ye know, ta'ntin' of him, and sayin' as how an egg
couldn't be made to sot.
"So Columbus, he took one up and give her a tunk, pretty solid, deown
onto the table. 'There!' says he; 'you stay sot,' says he, 'and keep
moderate a spall,' says he. 'Forced-to-go never gits far,' says he.
"Then there was Lot's wife.
"I don't remember jest the partickelers, nor what she was turnin'
areound to look for; whether she was goin' to a sewin'-circle and
lookin' back to see what Lot was dewin' to home, or whether she was
jest strokin' deown her polonaise a little, the way women does; but
anyway, she was one o' this 'ere kind that needed moderatin'.
"So she got turned into a pillar o' salt, and there she sot. But I've
heerd lately that she 's got up and went?"
"I don't know," I murmured.
"Yes; Nason was tellin' me how 't, the last time he went cruisin', he
met a man 't 'd jest come from Jaffy, 't told him how 't Lot's wife had
got up and went.
"Wal, I was glad to hear on't. Moderation 's a virtu', even in all
things. She must 'a' sot there some three or four hunderd pretty
consid'rable number o' years, 's it was. Don't want to ride a free
hoss to death, ye know. I wish 't this critter that's visitin' up to
Garrison's Neck could be got sot a spall. She fa'rly w'ars me out."
Captain Leezur blinked at the sun, however, all heavenly placid and
unworn.
"I happened to meet her in the lane," I said. "She had not seen me
before. She screamed."
"Thar'! that 's jest her! Wal, neow, I hope ye didn't mind. Sech
folks don't do no harm 'reound on the 'arth, no more'n lady-bugs, 'nd
r'a'ly, they dew help to parss away the time.
"Neow this Langham girl, she driv up here with Note t'other day, to git
some lobsters.
"'O Mr. Garrison,' says she, 'see that darlin' old aberiginile
a-settin' out thar' on that log,' says she. 'Dew drive up; I want ter
talk to him,' says she.
"Wal, I put in a chaw o' tobackker, and tucked her up comf'table one
side, and there I sot, with my head straight for'ards, not lettin' on
as I'd heered a word; t'wouldn't dew, ye know.
"So she came up with a yaller lace parasol, abeout twelve foot in
c'cumf'rence, sorter makin' me think of a tud under a harrer; though, I
sh'd have to say it afore the meetin'-house, she was dreadful
purty-lookin', an' blamed ef she didn't know it.
"Wal, I see she'd made up her mind to kile herself 'reound me, ef she
could. She kept a-arskin' questions, and everything she arsked I
arnswered of her back dreadful moderate, and every time I arnswered of
her back she'd give a little larff, endin' up on 'sol la ce do,' sorter
highsteriky; so't I was kind o' feelin' areound in my pocket t' find
her a narvine lozenger.
"And then I thought I wouldn't. All they want is the least little
excuse and they'll begin to kile. When ye're in deoubt, ye know, stand
well to leeward."