At the last General Meeting of the L.C. & D., their Chairman made one
of his best speeches. Prospects were bright, and hearts were light,
just to drop into poetry. Sir E. WATKIN, _alias_ S. Eastern WATKIN,
had some time ago been assured judicially of the fact that Folkestone
meant Folkestone as clearly as Brighton means Brighton, or Ramsgate
means Ramsgate, and the two great Companies were, it was hoped, soon
to come to an agreement and live happily ever afterwards. Among other
plans for the future, the popular and astute Chairman more than
hinted that the day was not far distant when, in consequence of the
increasing patronage bestowed on the improved third-class carriages,
the trains of the L.C. & D. Company would be made up of first and
third, and the middle class would be out of it altogether. This will
be a blow to those whose travelling motto has hitherto been "_In medio
tutissimus ibis._" But, on the other hand, if the second-class be
dropped, the L.C. & D. can adopt the proud motto, "_Nulli Secundus_."
_Mr. Punch_, Universal Managing Director, in charge of thousands of
lines, wishes them the benefit of the omen.
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[Illustration: THE CLOSE OF THE INNINGS.
W.H.S. (_Wicket-keeper_). "TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, UMPIRE:--IF THE
BOWLING'S GOING TO BE AS WILD--NEXT INNINGS--AS THIS, I SHALL '_RETIRE
HURT_'!"]
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"LEBE WOHL! HELGOLAND!"
(_AN INCIDENT OF THE CESSION--HITHERTO UNREPORTED_.)
[Illustration]
The Representative of BRITANNIA'S Might had departed in appropriate
state, and the German Emperor had reached his destination. The new
landlord was most anxious to take possession. He was all impatience
to appear before his recently-acquired subjects, to show to them the
Military Uniform he had assumed after discarding that garb he loved
so well--the _grande tenue_ of an Honorary Admiral of the Fleet in
the service of VICTORIA, Queen, Empress, and Grandmother. There was
a consultation on board the _Hohenzollern_, and then a subdued German
cheer. The Chief Naval Officer approached His Majesty, cocked-hat in
hand.
"Sire," he said, falling on one knee; "all is now ready."
"But why has there been this delay?" asked WILLIAM THE SECOND, in a
tone of imperial command.
"Sire, we could not find the island. Unhappily we had mislaid--" and
then the naval officer paused--
"Your charts and field-glasses?" queried His Majesty.
"No, Sire," was the reply. Then, after some hesitation, the chief of
the German sailors continued, "The fact is, Your Majesty, I had lost
my microscope, and--" But further explanation was drowned in the sound
of saluting artillery. And the remainder of the day was devoted (by
those who could find room on the island) in equal proportions to smoke
and enthusiasm.
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