The Proprietors of the "Automatic Chair" having had reason to think
their invention such a success that they have turned it into a
Company, a stimulus has been given to ingenuity in this direction,
with the result that the following prospective advertisement, or
something very much like it, may shortly be expected to see the
light:--
THE AUTOMATIC FURNITURE SUPPLY ASSOCIATION, started for the purpose of
meeting the daily-increasing demand for self-acting and trouble-saving
appliances in the domestic arrangements of the modern household, beg
to inform their patrons that they are now able to supply them with
THE AUTOMATIC FOUR-POSTER.--This ingeniously constructed piece of
furniture will tuck up the occupant, rock him to sleep, and pitch him
out on to the floor at a given hour in the morning, thoroughly waking
him by the operation, when it will of its own accord fold itself
up into a conveniently-shaped parcel, not bigger than an ordinary
carriage umbrella. The Association further desire to inform their
patrons that they have also invented a
PATENT AUTOMATIC SHOWER-BATH AND WASH-HAND-STAND, that will forcibly
seize the user, thoroughly souse him from head to foot, scrub, wash,
and dry him. Finally folding itself up into a convenient lounge, on
which he can complete his toilette at leisure. They also are prepared
to supply their
AUTOMATIC DINNER-TABLE AND APPETITE COMBINED, upon taking a seat at
which, the diner will be immediately served with a course consisting
of soup, fish, joint, and vegetables, choice of _entrées_, sweets,
cheese, and celery, with an appetite to enable him to relish the
repast as it proceeds. After-dinner speeches, phonographically
introduced, can be supplied at a slight additional charge. They,
moreover, have in hand an
AUTOMATIC BUTLER-DETECTING SIDEBOARD, which, by an ingenious
contrivance, on the Butler opening it for the purpose of helping
himself to a glass of wine, instantly blows up with a loud explosion,
that obliges him to desist in his design. But their chief triumph is
their
AUTOMATIC AND MECHANICAL SHAREHOLDER, who, immediately on being shown
the Prospectus, puts his name down for the required number of Shares
as indicated to him. This last the Association regard as a great
success, but they have several other startling novelties in active
preparation.
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[Illustration: RISING TO THE SITUATION!
(_Scene from a well-mounted Drama._)]
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