HIGGINS’ LADY.

(PART I.)

“I mind the day,” said the story-teller, “when Higgins blew into Havana.

We was workin’ in the corral then, an’ the troops was nearly all

mustered out, an’, say, there was as fine a bunch of guys there as you’d

find in a day’s walk. But, anyhow, Higgins was not of their class, we

could all see that; and, say, his name wasn’t Higgins any more than mine

is Daniel Webster.

“He was as good-lookin’ young chap as ever lived, and, say, couldn’t he

sing, and play, and act, and recite pieces of poetry to beat the band!

Well, sir, he went to board with a young, so to speak, married couple,

an’ that was the end of his peace of mind. The woman was a darn fool and

the man was a darn brute. He was a French Haitian, and she was the

daughter of a Cuban woman, who was then married to an American man.

Well, the husband used to get drunk and beat her up, to beat sense into

her head, but it didn’t do much good. All she cared about was clothes

and flattery.

“Several of the fellers kind a took a shine to her, but she always

tricked ’em in some way; if she didn’t get money out of ’em she’d frame

up some story about ’em to her man, and he’d come around with a shotgun

and ’ud scare the wits out of ’em. So, after a while, they let the

baggage alone. Young Higgins, however, kep’ her at arms’ length, but he

used to take her part whenever she was bein’ badly used by the man she

was livin’ with. Well, once Higgins rolled up his sleeves and gave the

brute a beating such as he never got before. His face looked like a

jellyfish when Higgins got through with him. We all stood around in a

ring and watched to see fair play. The bully was big enough to eat

Higgins, but he sure got the worst of it. When ’twas all over he was

removed to the hospital, and the woman’s father came forward and told

Higgins that the man was goin’ back to Hayti and never intended to live

with his daughter again; that she would have to go on the town, etc.

Well, anyway, it fell upon Higgins to take care of her, and he did it

like a man. But there was no love business. Higgins signed an agreement

that he would take care of the woman until such time as she would get a

man who would marry her, because she wasn’t really married to the

Haitian, anyway.

“Soon after this Higgins left Havana and came here to the Isthmus. He

sent her a check every month, and she lived with her mother and father,

and was respectable; but I’m doggoned if she didn’t come to the Isthmus

last week, and she’s now living in Panama, while Higgins is gone to the

other end of the line to live. She’s a fine lookin’ woman, but she ain’t

got a grain of sense, and she’s stuck on herself, an’ I come around to

ye fellers to see if ye couldn’t do somethin’ to get her took off of

Higgins’ hands.”

“I know Higgins, an’, with his fine notions of right and wrong, he’d

never stand for any scheme against a woman,” said one of the listeners.

“Why, Higgins wouldn’t let us fellers talk about a woman. When we’d

start to talk, he’d start to play the fiddle, an’ then, of course, we’d

shut up.”

“But why not get a line on her and send some soft guy around who’ll fall

for her, an’ that’ll let Higgins out?” asked the story-teller. “And, if

she don’t fall, why, there would be no harm done.”

“Two sleuths were sent out to sound Higgins and two were sent out to get

a line on the lady, and, after a week, the four made a report as

follows: Higgins is morose and peevish; refused to talk of the lady.

Lady is a good-looker, but is lonesome and needs a home. Never sees

Higgins, and says that if it was not for him she’d still be in with her

husband.”

“Well, doggone her!” exclaimed Higgins’ friends in chorus.

“I’ll tell ye, boys,” said one of the oldest men present. “I know a man

that’ll take her for better or worse on sight if she’s a good-looker,

and I’ll bring him around in a few minutes, and we’ll get to talkin’ her

up to him--kind of advertisin’ her.”

“The friends, very much interested, agreed, and the man departed in

search of Bill Wiley, for that was the name of the unsuspecting man who

was so soon to be made a victim on the altar of the Higgins. Bill

Wiley’s sentiments were well known to the men in that bachelor house. If

he had a weakness in the world it was for ladies that were, from his

stand-point, good-lookers, large, florid, beefy, ladies that showed

their keep. Bill made two hundred and twenty-five dollars a month, and

was lonesome for a mate and a home. He was not handsome nor elegant, but

he had a taking way with him, a bank account of ten thousand dollars and

a house and twenty acres of land in Florida. A note was made of this for

the lady’s benefit, and when Bill came to the house that night, being

led there by John Hogan, each man made a mental note that Higgins would

be soon a free man.

“‘What do you think of the Goethal’s gateway?’ asked John Hogan, as he

handed Bill a cigar.

“‘It’s a good idea.’

“‘The finest lookin’ woman that ever came to the Isthmus,’ floated to

Bill’s ears, ‘an’, as for style, she beats any one you ever saw.’

“‘I guess I’ll go over there an’ hear about that girl the fellers are

talkin’ about,’ said Bill. ‘Who is she?’

“‘She’s a widow lady that lives in Panama an’ complains of being

lonely.’

“‘Poor thing,’ said Bill, ‘I know what that means. I’m lonely myself

most of the time.’

“‘She’s a fine woman,’ said John Hogan, in a musing tone. ‘I wish to

gawd she’d care for me. She’s pink an’ white, with black hair and black

eyes, and is nice and plump.’

“‘Maybe she’d care for you,’ said Bill.

“‘Not likely; she said she wouldn’t marry the best man that ever lived

unless she loved him, and even then he’d have to have ten thousand

dollars.’

“‘You might give a fellow an introduction to her,’ said Bill Wiley at

the mention of this sum, which he possessed.”

Droll stories of Isthmian life · 第 11 / 46 题