‘I have now entered upon another year. Oh how different do all things
now appear, to what they did at the commencement of the last. I was then
blessed with my dear parents, and I looked forward for some years of
comfort and of guidance from them; but thy ways, O Lord, are not my ways,
neither are Thy thoughts my thoughts; Thou hast taken them from me that I
may look to thee alone for help and comfort. O give me grace to seek all
I want from Thee. Wean me, blessed Lord, from the world, and all its
treatments, and enable me to live entirely to Thee. Thou knowest, Lord,
my weakness and proneness to start aside from my best Friend, but pardon
all Thou hast seen amiss in me, through the past year, and enable me now
to live more devotedly to Thy service.’
The method which she chose of quietly taking a review of the past, and
forecasting the circumstances of the new year, appeared to be peculiarly
profitable, and may afford a direction as to the mode of spending this
interesting season.
Elizabeth and her sister were now thrown on their own resources. Their
father’s house was sold for the benefit of his family. After their
removal, they kept a school. This flourished, and it was a great
benefit, as far as it went, in the parish, being conducted with so much
good order and Christian feeling. But after a time, the noise of the
children became unbearable to Elizabeth, and obliged her sister to give
it up, and to turn to other means of support. Elizabeth’s mind, as
appears from her Journal, was all this time gradually growing in grace.
The habits of their little family were very regular. The two sisters
read three or four verses, and prayed together every morning, in addition
to the usual family prayer with their brother, who lived with them.
Elizabeth’s chief infirmity was a proneness to be hurt by unkindness or
neglect; this she tried to conquer, and through Divine Grace, succeeded
to a great degree. She had always been careful of her money, feeling how
needful it might be to her in her weakly state of health. At the time of
her death she had a small sum in the savings bank; but she was alive to
the snare of covetousness. She used to say, what shall we give? She
subscribed to the Missionary and the Jewish Society, and originated a
little Bible Society collection: but she also felt the duty of denying
herself, that she might save something more for these works of charity.
She was constantly diligent, and during the last winter of her life she
read the Scriptures a great deal, and grew proportionally in grace. She
was regular in her attendance at the different meetings, being generally
accompanied by a friend in somewhat similar circumstances of life, who
was attached to our communion. But nothing more marked her character
than a holy, humble, simple, unpretending walk, carrying about with her,
I may truly say, the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit. She repeatedly
wrote in her Journal during the last year of her life. Her observations
were chiefly founded on sermons which she had heard, and which she
applied to herself. There was not one observation in them of a carping
critical character. But what she received she sought to turn to the best
profit, and to obtain from it growth in grace. Speaking of the sermon of
a young Minister among us, she was struck with his appeal for decision in
religion, on the ground of the uncertainty of life. ‘O,’ she adds, ‘how
he warned and exhorted the young to decide for God, that they might
obtain pardon and peace here, and happiness in the world to come.’ She
concludes her account of another sermon. ‘Help me, O Lord, to watch
always, that I sin not against Thee, and help me so to pray, that the
enemy may flee before me:’ and again, ‘Help me, blessed Lord, to be daily
growing in holiness, humility, and love, that I may feel in every trial,
and temptation, thou art my Rock and Defence.’ As the summary of one
week, she says, ‘I have felt my soul decay in the last week. The enemy
has been permitted to buffet and assault me very much, tempting me to
unbelief. But O thou compassionate Saviour, who prayed for thy disciple
of old, that his faith might not fail, look upon me, and deliver me from
my strong foe. O strengthen my faith, for it is weak. Show me wherein I
have sinned; lift up the light of thy countenance upon me.’ Again, after
a sermon of Mr. Allen’s. ‘What encouragement to the believer to know
that Jesus, his Saviour and Redeemer, has before trodden every painful
path, and endured every conflict, and has promised that as he overcame,
so shall we, through his merit.’
She heard a Sermon from a minister before alluded to, on growth in
religion, in which that subject was illustrated by a tree in the growth
of its roots, in its branches, and in its fruitfulness. The subject
appears very much to have struck her. She concludes it by saying, ‘Help
me, blessed Lord, to be daily growing in holiness, humility and love; and
may I feel in every trial and temptation, that thou art my Rock, and my
Defence.’ ‘Nov. 24. I have felt much depressed to day by fretfulness
and coldness: O Lord, quicken me.’ ‘Heard Mr. R. this evening, from Luke
v. 31, 32. Felt my mind much impressed by the Sermon. Blessed Lord,
impress it on my heart, by thy Spirit. Strip me of all
self-righteousness, make me feel more and more, my need of thee.’
The above extracts from her Journal, will shew the quiet working of the
Spirit of God in her heart, chiefly by means of the word of God. Other
means are not so commonly and particularly alluded to by her, but she
always in life expressed her profit in all; in the Lord’s Supper, in the
social prayer meetings on Monday Evening, and Sunday Morning, and the
bible class, all of which she continued constantly to attend. I add two
testimonials concerning her. One of them was communicated to a friend at
a distance, who had been staying some time in Lowestoft, and who had been
made acquainted with Elizabeth. It is written by a person who was in the
constant habit of seeing her, and who knew her well. The other is
written by a very intimate friend.
_Lowestoft_, _July_ 6. 1840.