It is the condition of a public-house that it must do a good business
some way or other. Mr Hinton, who has just got his license for Highbury
Barn, says the dining apartment fell off and he was obliged to institute
Soirees Dansantes. Sometimes the publican gets a female dressed up in a
Bloomer costume; sometimes he has for his barman a giant, or a dwarf, or
an Albino, or a Kaffir chief--actually as an attraction to decent people
to go and drink their pot of beer. I find the following advertisement in
the _Morning Advertiser_:--
"The Sheep-eater of Hindostan.--To be seen, the Sheep-eater of
Hindostan, representing an exhibition which took place on the 3rd of
March, 1796, before Colonel Patrick Douglas and other officers of a
battalion of Native Infantry, and a great concourse of the
inhabitants of the military station of Futtehghur. It is engraved
from a sketch, taken on the spot by a native artist, and under the
inspection of Major-General Hardwicke, F.R.S. The Sheep-eater was a
native of India, about thirty years of age, five feet nine inches
high, slender, well formed, and rather muscular. He was attended by
a very old man, whom he called his father or preceptor, termed by the
natives Gooroo or Priest, who stated he had formerly followed the
same practice. He was above the ordinary stature of the natives of
India, and wore his hair, which was of great length, coiled into the
form of a turban; and his beard was twisted like a rope, and nearly
reached his feet, being five feet eight inches in length. The
exhibitor began his operation by raising the sheep from the ground
with his teeth. He then threw the animal on its back, and, with his
teeth and hands only, separated the limbs, and stript the flesh from
the bones. After mixing dust with the meat, by rubbing it on the
ground, in that dirty state he swallowed what he tore off. The last
part of the operation was chewing the leaves of a plant, the local
name of which is Madaar (asclepias gigantea), and the milky juice,
which is of a very corrosive nature, he swallowed. Having made a
collection of money, and the assemblage of people being much
increased, he offered to eat a second sheep, and actually commenced
the operation as before. It may be proper to observe, that the sheep
in most parts of India are as small as the Welsh sheep of Great
Britain. No. 1. represents lifting the sheep from the ground with
his teeth only. 2. Having thrown the sheep on its back, he extends
the limbs, preparatory to No. 3. 3. Ripping the animal open from the
flank to the breast. 4. Having removed the intestines, &c, he buries
his head in the body, to drink the blood collected. 5. Exhibiting
his face, after this sanguinary draught. 6. Having devoured every
portion of flesh from the bones, he chews the plant Madaar. 7. After
changing his waist-cloth, he returns with his Gooroo, or preceptor,
and offers to eat the second sheep, for the satisfaction of the
increased number of spectators."
I do not give the name of the spirited proprietor, but in his
advertisement he declares he intends exhibiting it _over the bar for a
short time gratuitously_. This is rich; it is like the doctor's advice
gratis.
Now in the same manner the publicans provide a weekly discussion meeting
for that part of the public that loves to hear itself speak. There is
one at the Belvidere, Pentonville; another at the Horns, Kennington.
Fleet-street is much favoured. There are the Temple Forum, the Cogers'
Hall, and another large room in Shoe-lane. These are gratuitous, like
the picture in the above advertisement--that is, you are expected to sit
and drink all night. The most celebrated one is that which meets not far
from the Temple, presided over by the editor of a Sunday paper, and
assisted by several reporters connected with the daily journals. One of
them not long since contested an Irish borough on Protestant principles,
but unfortunately, instead of being returned, found himself in gaol for
election expenses. Besides these, there are many third and fourth-rate
literary men--a class, I fear (I speak of the minors), the most braggart,
lying, and needy under heaven--men who are going to do wonders, but who
never do--whose success, if such a term may be applied to their career,
arises simply from their power of brag, and from the possession of an
enviable amount of self-esteem. Then there are briefless barristers, but
too happy to have an opportunity of airing their dictionaries, and
tradesmen, and clerks, all fancying that there is no need why they should
hide their talents under a napkin. Still these places do not flourish,
and there are more bad speeches made than good ones. You are cooped up
in an inconvenient apartment, suffocated by tobacco-smoke, and very
unpleasantly affected by the beer and gin-and-water which every one feels
bound to consume. The waiter is in the room, and you are expected to
give your orders. The speaking is a secondary consideration. The first
thing you are required to do is to drink. I have how in my mind's eye a
young fellow who was a great man at one of these places. He was a clerk
with limited means, but he came to these places night after night, and
drank and spent his money freely. It is the old tale over again. He was
intrusted with his employer's cash. He applied some of it to liquidate
his expenses. He was unable to replace it. Discovery was made at last;
he is now in Newgate, and his wife--for he was just married--is breaking
her young heart with shame and want. The curse of these public-houses is
that they lead men into expense and reduce them into poverty, if they do
not almost necessitate crime. A discussion is all very well, and the
habit of being able to get up and say a few words when occasion requires
pertinent and _apropos_ is invaluable, but to acquire that habit it is
scarcely worth while to sit all night toping, while Smithers is playing
old gooseberry with his H's, or O'Flaherty raving of the wrongs of the
Green Isle. The questions discussed are generally such as are peculiar
to the time. Was Lord Cardigan a hero? Does Sir Benjamin Hall deserve
well of the public for his conduct with reference to Sunday bands? Does
the Palmerston cabinet deserve the support of the country? Would Lord
John Russell's scheme of national education, if carried out, be a public
benefit? Let men talk on these subjects if they will, and as long as
they will, but I think they will think more clearly, and talk better, and
come sooner to a rational decision, if they do not drink. I am sure I
have seen the audience and the orators more inflamed by beer than by
eloquence, and when turned out into the street after a long sitting,
many, I imagine, have seen a couple of moons and double the usual
allowance of lamps and police. The worst of it is, that after the
discussion is over, there will be always a few stop to have a bit of
supper and another glass. I remember, just as the war broke out, I was
at one of the places to which I have already referred, the subject was
the propriety of erecting on the ruins of Turkey a united Greece. The
Philhellenists came down in great force, and young Greeks, Sophocles and
Ionides, and many more screaming at the top of their voices, were there
as well. What with the excitement of the subject and what with the
excitement of the drink, the whole affair settled into a regular orgie,
and the tumult of that night still rings wildly in my ear. Dumbiedikes
would have stared at the gift of tongues exhibited on that occasion.
If you admire pot-house oratory, then attend one of these places. The
chair is generally taken about nine, and the proceedings close at twelve.
A gentleman already agreed on commences the discussion, then the debate
is left to drag its slow length along, sometimes giving rise to animated
discussions, and at other times being a terrible failure. What is
considered the treat of the evening is generally something of this
sort--An indifferent speaker, perhaps a stranger, gets up and makes a
short speech, which brings up one of the old seasoned debaters, great in
his own eyes and in those of almost every one present. I assure you he
is down upon the modest debutant in fine style, making mincemeat of his
facts, and ridiculing his logic. The easier his work is, the more does
he labour at it. The audience frantically applaud, and the orator, as he
sits down, evidently thinks Brougham could not have slashed an opponent
in better style. The gravity of these speakers is really amusing. Did
they speak the language of millions--did principles of eternal import
dwell upon their tongue--did nations breathlessly wait for their
decisions--did they shake the arsenal and fulmine over Greece--they could
not set about their work in a more determined manner. And Jones, from
his tremendous castigation of Palmerston, or fierce diatribe against Lord
John, will sneak off quietly to his back garret in Pentonville, just as
we can imagine Diocletian abandoning an empire to plant cabbages at
Salone. It is clear some of the speakers are naturally good orators; but
the regular stagers have a seedy appearance, and that peculiar redness of
the nose or soddenness of the skin which indicates the drinker; and if
you go much, you will find a paper with five-shilling subscriptions, and
you will be asked to give your name, for the benefit of some prominent
debater whose affairs do not seem to have prospered, in spite of their
master's matchless powers of oratory. The truth is, the money has been
spent here in drink that was required elsewhere, and wife and children
have starved at home while the orator was declaiming against Despotism
abroad. I fear the only class benefited by these discussions are the
landlords, who point to their door and whisper in your ears; Admission
gratis. Yes, that is true; but the egress, ah, there's the rub! It is
that for which you must pay, and pay handsomely, too, as hundreds of poor
fellows have found to their cost.