After providing for sickness and death, a family must lay aside the
sum necessary to secure an advantageous marriage for the daughter, and
to meet her family's share of the wedding. Similarly, the young man
anticipates marriage as a natural development in his life. It is
interesting to consider the share of the cost borne by the girl's
family and that borne by the young man, and to notice also certain
customs connected with the wedding itself that contribute toward the
expense.
The customs connected with weddings which have grown up in the old
country may, when transplanted, mean an expense which seems entirely
out of proportion to the family's economic status, especially when
American customs are added to those of the native country. An Italian
woman says that weddings were, as a rule, much simpler in Italy than
in the United States. There a maid of honor and "other frills," such
as automobiles, flowers, and jewelry, were unknown. A large feast,
usually of two days' duration, was customary, and is continued here,
even in a city. A hall must be rented for the dance, and when food
prices are high the cost is enormous.
To avoid the expense of renting a hall which would cost $100 for six
hours, a recent Italian wedding reception in Chicago was held in the
butcher shop owned by a cousin of the bridegroom. The living rooms in
the rear were used for the dinner, and the shop itself became the
ballroom. The floor was crowded, and the children had to be turned out
into the street to play, but the enjoyment of the party was evidently
not at all lessened by the somewhat incongruous surroundings. The fact
that there is near by not only a great settlement where a comfortable
hall might have been available, but likewise a park house similarly
equipped, is perhaps indicative of a failure of these institutions to
meet the very needs of the neighborhood they are designed to serve.
It is an Italian custom for the father of the bride and the father of
the bridegroom to share the expense of the feast, although the
bridegroom sometimes pays for the music and the hall, and the bride's
family furnish the food. An Italian pastry dealer says that the amount
spent for pastries varies from $15 to $120, and an equal amount is
spent in home baking. For well-to-do families the expenditures may be
much larger; for example, one family recently spent $200 for pastry
alone.
There is, however, a feature of the wedding feast which reduces the
cost to the family. It is customary, when the party is assembled
after the wedding, for the bride to be placed on a "throne," and the
guests place their presents of money in her lap. Money is usually
given, although useful articles for the home are sometimes included.
The greater the number of guests invited perhaps the lower the net
cost of the ceremony.
The other principal expense of the Italian bride's family is for the
bridal linen and the girl's underwear. These, of course, vary with the
circumstances of the family. These articles are usually the
accumulation of several years.
The bridegroom pays the other costs. He buys not only the household
furniture and his clothing, but the wedding ring, earrings, a gift for
the bride, and some of her clothing. If the girl is poor he may even
buy her underwear and the linens. It is said that these things often
cost all the bridegroom's savings, and that the couple start married
life with nothing saved for emergencies. The expense of the bridegroom
in a recent Italian wedding in Chicago was $2,000.
It is the custom for the man to buy for the bride a complete costume
for two days--the wedding day and the eighth day--when the newly
married couple return the calls of the wedding guests. An Italian
saleslady in a store in the Italian district says that the amount
usually spent on the bride's clothes is $200 or $250. The very least
spent in these days is $100, and the outfit may cost as much as $500.
When the family is a recently arrived one, the man usually accompanies
the girl or her mother to the store and pays the bills on the spot.
Among other groups as well as among the Italians it seems to be
customary for the bridegroom to bear part of the expense of the
wedding and of the bride's outfit. The Polish bridegroom often gives
$50 to the bride, and she buys her clothes, linens, and the food for
the feast. The Russian girl gives a white handkerchief to the groom,
and he pays for her dress.
Another item in the expenses of a wedding is the cost of photographs.
It is the custom in most foreign-born groups to have large
photographs, not only of the bride and groom, but of the whole wedding
party. The Polish people also have another picture of the bridesmaid
taken with the best man. These photographs cost as much as $30 a dozen
and at a higher rate if less than a dozen are ordered. The number
ordered depends on the economic condition of the family, but the
minimum is six of each. The pictures of the bridal party are the
largest and most expensive and are usually given only to the immediate
family and the attendants. The smaller pictures of the bride and groom
are given to all the friends and relatives, especially those in the
old country. This is an important means of keeping up the connection
with those at home. An enlarged and colored copy framed in an ornate
gilt frame is usually ordered for the newly married couple, and is an
added expense.
The cost of automobiles is also important. The bridal party, and
sometimes the guests whom it is desired to honor, are taken to the
church, then to the photographer's, and then to the hall where the
feast and dance are held. Sometimes as many as six automobiles are
observed drawn up in front of one of the little photographers' shops
in an immigrant district.
Many people seem to think that the festivities among the foreign born
are becoming simpler. The extravagance is perhaps again a question of
the transition to a money economy. The ceremony in the old country was
an occasion for great celebration, with feasting and dancing for
several days, but was perhaps not expensive when the necessary
articles were produced at home or received in exchange for home
products. Here the immigrant family does not at first realize the real
value of the money which seems so plentiful, and the old customs are
not only carried out, but elaborated because of the added feeling of
prosperity.
In many ways the old customs are now being modified. Among the Polish,
for instance, the guests used to give presents of money, practically
buying a dance with the bride. The custom has been frequently abused
here, as the men have divided their gifts into small parts and
demanded many dances with the bride, often causing her to dance so
much as to cause serious fatigue. For this reason we heard of one
bride who simply "walked with the plate" instead of dancing. Another
story is told of a wedding in a Polish community, at which the men
threw dollars at a plate. The one who was successful in breaking the
plate might dance with the bride.
This Polish custom of giving money gifts offsets to a large extent the
cost of the wedding. Among three Polish families visited, one whose
wedding cost $200 collected $60; another spent $150 and collected
$160; and a third spent $200 and collected $300. But this custom, too,
tends to disappear in the second generation. A young Russian couple,
for instance, were opposed to a regular collection, but the parents,
who consider it the blessing to their daughter, could not resist each
leaving a ten-dollar bill as they left. The young people were
embarrassed, but the other guests quickly followed the suggestion, and
$100 was collected.