Another changed condition in the life in this country is that the
family group is usually what the sociologist calls the "marriage"
group, as distinguished from the "familial" group, which is generally
found in the old country. The grandmothers and maiden aunts, who were
part of the group in the old country, and who shared with the mother
all the work of the household, are not with them in this country. The
older women are seldom brought on the long journey, and the maiden
aunt is either employed in the factory system, or she sets up a house
of her own, so that in any event her assistance in the work of the
household can no longer be relied on. It is perhaps the grandmother
that is missed the more, because it was to her that the mother of a
family was wont to turn for advice as well as assistance.
This decrease in the number of people in the household is not
compensated for by the diminution in the amount of work, which is
another fact of changed conditions. For in this country the housewife
no longer spins and weaves, or even, as a rule, makes the cloth into
clothing. She does not work in the fields, or care for the garden or
the farm animals, all of which she was expected to do in the old
country. The loss of the older women in the group, however, means that
what tasks are left must all be done by her.
The duties of the housewife may not be as many, but the work they
involve may be more. This is true, for example, in the matter of
feeding the family. In Lithuania soup was the fare three times daily,
and there were only a few variations in kind. Here the family soon
demands meat, coffee, and other things that are different from the
food she has cooked in the old country.... Occasionally the situation
is further complicated by the insistence of dietetic experts that the
immigrant mother cannot feed her family intelligently unless she has
some knowledge of food values. In other words, the work of the
housewife was easy in the old country because it was well done--if it
was done in the way her mother did it--and conformed to the standards
that she knew. It could thus become a matter of routine that did not
involve the expenditure of nervous energy. Here, on the other hand,
she must conform to standards that are constantly changing, and must
learn to do things in a way her mother never dreamed of doing them.
And there is the new and difficult task of planning the use of the
family income, which takes on a new and unfamiliar form.
In spite of all that has been taken out of the home the duties of the
housewife remain manifold and various. She is responsible for the care
of the house, for the selection and preparation of food, for spending
the part of the income devoted to present needs, and for planning and
sharing in the sacrifices thought necessary to provide against future
needs. She must both bear and rear her children. The responsibilities
and satisfactions of her relationship with her husband are too often
last in the list of her daily preoccupations, but by no means least in
importance, if one of the essentials of a home is to be maintained.
The enumeration of the tasks of any wife and mother throws into relief
the difficulties of the foreign-born mother. The all too frequent
cases where homes are deprived of her presence emphasize how
indispensable she is. All case-work agencies have had to grapple with
the problem of families suffering this deprivation. It is these
motherless families that make us realize how many tasks and
responsibilities fall to the lot of the mother.
There was a motherless Russian family, consisting of the father and
six children, the oldest a girl of thirteen and the youngest a
five-month-old boy. For a time the family tried to get along without
asking advice of an outside agency. The baby was placed with friends,
and the thirteen-year-old girl stopped school to care for the
five-room flat and the other four children. In a short time the family
with whom the baby was placed wanted to adopt him, and refused to keep
him longer on any other condition. At this time the Immigrant's
Protective League was appealed to for help in placing the baby where
he would not have to be given for adoption. They found the father
making a pathetic attempt to keep the home and children clean, and
the oldest girl, Marya, trying hard to take her mother's place. The
best plan they were able to work out for the family was institutional
care for the youngest two children, nursery care outside of school
hours for the next two, and the two oldest left to take care of
themselves, although given lunch at the school. Marya, of course, was
sent back to school, and she and her father share the housekeeping.