The evenings were always dull and long to those of us who were too far
from home to make it worth while to leave the school for the eight weeks
of holiday. It was dreary indeed sitting in the great school-room, with
its long rows of empty desks, with nothing before one to break the
monotony of the four walls but the great map of France and the big dusty
cross with its dingy wreath of _immortelles_. It is true, we did not
bewail the absence of our companions. In fact, it was with a tranquil
sense of security that I began my work every morning in vacation,
knowing that I should find all my books in my desk, and my pens and
pencils undisturbed; for among the _pensionnaires_ there existed a
strong tendency to communistic principles. Still, when all the noisy
crew had departed, the house seemed lonely, the dining-room with its
three bare tables looked desolate, and an unnatural stillness reigned in
the shady pathways of the garden. You might wander from room to room,
and up and down the stairs, and to and fro in the long passages, and
meet no one. Fraeulein Christine was with her "_Liebes Muetterchen_" in
Strasburg, and Mademoiselle had left her weary post in the middle of the
school-room for her quiet village-home in Normandy. Madame herself
remained almost entirely invisible, shut up in the sanctity of her own
rooms; and so the whole house had a sense of stillness that seemed only
heightened by the glory of the autumn sunshine, and the hum of bees and
rustle of leaves that filled the air outside.
The house was old; it had been a grand mansion once, before the days of
the Revolution, and had probably been the residence of some of the stiff
old worthies whose portraits hung in dreary dignity in the disused dusty
galleries of the _chateau_, which now, turned into a _citadelle_, stood
upon a high point of the cliffs commanding the town. The term _rambling_
might well be applied to this house, for in its eccentric construction
it seemed to have wandered at will half-way up the hill-side on which it
was built. It had wings and abutments, and flights of stone steps
leading from one part to another. There was "_la grande maison de
Madame_," "_la maison du jardin_," and "_la maison de Monsieur_." This
last, half hidden in trees, was _terra incognita_ to the girls; but
often in an evening, after we had seen him wending his way across the
garden with his lantern from _la grande maison_, where he had been
spending the evening with Madame, did we hear Monsieur playing on his
organ glorious "bits" of Cherubini and Bach.
We were conscious that this odd little man carried on a system of
espionage through the half-closed slats of his shutters, the effects of
which we were continually made to feel; this, and the mystery that
enveloped his small abode, where he worked all day among his bottles and
retorts, made Monsieur appear somewhat of an ogre in our eyes. There was
always a sense of freedom in the upper garden, which was out of the
range of his windows, and where he never came. That pleasant upper
garden, what a paradise it was, with its long sunny walks within the
shelter of high walls! The trim stateliness of the ancient splendor had
run to luxuriant disorder, and thick tangles of rare roses swung abroad
their boughs above great beds of lilies-of-the-valley and periwinkle
which had overrun their borders and crept into the walks.
During the vacation, we who stayed had the privilege of going into the
upper garden. Obtaining the key from Justine, we would wander first
along the shady pathways of the lower garden, past the flower-beds where
the girls during recess-times worked and gossiped and quarrelled,--their
quick French tongues reminding one of a colony of sparrows,--then,
turning the stubborn lock of the heavy door that opened on the flight
of mossy steps, we came into that region of stillness and delight, the
upper garden.
Oh, the pleasant autumn afternoons spent sitting together on the mossy
walk between the box-hedges, the hum of bees and the scent of roses
filling the air, and the sweet monotonous murmur of the sea on the
shingly beach in our ears! For, mounting still higher by terraces and
another flight of steps through a tumble-down gateway, you came upon the
open cliffs; and the long blue line of the sea and the fresh sea-breeze
greeted you with a thousand thoughts of home. For England lay beyond the
trembling blue line.
I remember it was one of these autumn afternoons, that, coming down from
practising, with my music-books under my arm, I met Justine, the genius
of the _menage_, cook and housekeeper in one, a shrewd woman, who had
three objects in life,--to manage _les betes_, as she condescendingly
termed the other servants, to please Madame, whom she adored, and to go
to church every Sunday and _grande fete_. Justine was coming in from the
garden, with a basket on her arm, in which lay two pigeons that she had
just killed. On her fingers she twirled the gory scissors with which she
had performed the deed.
"Good day, Justine! How is Madame?"
"Madame is well, thank you, Mademoiselle,--a little headache, that is
all,--that comes of so much learning and writing at night. _Mais voila
une femme superbe!_ I go to make her a little dinner of these," pointing
to the pigeons.
"Justine, _ma bonne_, won't you give us the key this afternoon?"
Justine stops suddenly and clasps her fat hands emphatically over the
lid of her basket.
"I had almost forgotten, Mademoiselle. Madame desired me to tell the
_demoiselles_ that she comes down this evening to sit in the _cabinet de
musique_."
I was delighted with this piece of intelligence, and ran to tell the
others. It was not often that Madame deigned to come down-stairs of an
evening, and were always glad when she did. In the first place, it was a
pleasant break in the monotony of the general routine to sit and work
and draw, instead of studying in the empty school-room; and secondly, it
was delightful to be with Madame, when she threw off the character of
preceptress,--for at such times she was infinitely agreeable,
entertaining us in her bright French manner as if we had been her
guests.
Madame had a way of charming all who approached her, from Adelaide
Sloper's rich, vulgar father, who, when he came to see his daughter, was
entertained by Madame _au salon_, and who was overheard to declare, as
he got into his grand carriage, that "that Frenchwoman was the finest
woman, by Jove, he'd ever seen!" to the tiny witch Elise, whom nobody
could manage, but who, at the first rustle of Madame's gown, would cease
from her mischief, fold her small hands, and, sinking her bead-like
black eyes, look as demure as such a sprite could. We all adored
Madame,--not that she herself was very good, though she was pious in her
way, too. She fasted and went regularly to confession and to all the
_offices_, and sometimes at the passing of the Host I have seen her
kneeling in the dusty street in a new dress, and I don't know what more
you could expect from a Frenchwoman.
Then she was so pretty, and there was a nameless grace in her attitude.
She seemed to me so beautiful, as she stood at her desk, with one hand
resting on her open book, tall, with something almost imperious in her
figure, her head bent, but her deep, lovely gray eyes looking quietly
before her and seeming to take in at once the whole school-room with an
expression of keen intelligence. She was highly cultivated, and had read
widely in many languages; but she wore her learning as gracefully as a
bird does its lovely plumage.
There was a latent desire for sway in her character. She delighted in
the homage of those about her, and seldom failed to win it from any one
with whom she came in contact. Mademoiselle, who did all the hard work
of the teaching, and was only half paid for it, wore out her strength
and energy and youth day by day at her desk in the middle of the
school-room, and thought Madame the perfection of women; and her sallow,
thin face would flush with pleasure, if Madame gave her a look or one of
her soft smiles in passing.
At half-past seven that evening we were seated round the table with our
work, awaiting the entrance of Madame. Presently she glided in, holding
in her arms a bureau-drawer filled with piles of letters.
"I propose to tell you a story, _mes cheres_," she said, as she seated
herself and folded her white hands over one of the thick bundles that
she had taken from the drawer.
"You have all heard me speak of Lina Dale, my English governess before I
had Mary Gibson. Mary Gibson is an excellent girl, but she has not the
talent that Lina had. Lina's father was a Captain Dale, a half-pay
officer, whom I had once seen on business about a pupil of mine who had
crossed the Channel under his care. A surly, morose man he appeared to
me, rough towards his wife, a meek, worn-out looking old lady, who spoke
with a hesitating, apologetic manner and a nervous movement of the
head,--a habit I thought she must have contracted from a constant fear
of being pounced upon, as you say, by her husband. I always pitied her
_de tout mon coeur_, but she possessed neither tact nor intellect, and
was _tres ennuyeuse_.
"It was one cold day in winter that Justine told me there was a
_demoiselle au salon_ who wished to see me. I found standing by the
table a young lady,--a figure that would strike you at once. She turned
as I entered the room, and her manner was dignified and self-possessed.
She was not pretty, but her face was a remarkable one: thick dark hair
above a low forehead, the eyelids somewhat too drooping over the
singular dark eyes, that looked out beneath them with an expression of
concentrated thought. 'That girl is like Charlotte Corday,' I said to
Monsieur afterwards: 'it is a character of great energy and enthusiasm,
frozen by the hardness and uncongeniality of her fate.' For in this
interview she told me that she sought a situation in my school, and that
she felt confidence in offering herself,--that the state of her father's
affairs did not render this step necessary, but that circumstances of
which she would not speak made her home unhappy and most unattractive to
her. All this she said in a calm and perfectly unexcited manner, as if
relating the details of a matter of business. For a moment I trembled
lest she had come to make me her confidante in a family-quarrel; but I
was soon relieved from this apprehension, for, after she had stated the
fact, she referred to it no more, but went on to speak upon general
subjects, which she did with great intelligence. Her good sense
impressed me so much that before she left the house I had engaged her.
"A few days afterwards she was established here, and had adapted herself
to all our modes of life in a way that astonished me. She went about all
her duties quietly, and with the greatest order and precision. Her
classes were the most orderly in the school, and in a short time her
authority was acknowledged by all the girls. There were few who did not
admire her, and not one who dared to set her at defiance. By degrees her
quiet, unobtrusive industry won upon my confidence; I felt glad to show
by charges of responsibility my regard for a person of so sound a
judgment and so reserved a temper, and very soon I had given over to her
care the supervision of English books for the girls' reading, the
posting and receiving from the post-office of all the English letters,
both my own and those of the English girls in the _pension_. During the
two years and a half of her stay here, these duties were fulfilled by
Lina with unremitting care and punctuality.
"About this time I had commenced a correspondence, through Lina, with a
Mrs. E. Baxter, of Bristol, in England, who had, it seemed, known Lina
for many years, and who, understanding, as she mysteriously hinted, how
unhappy her home must be, begged her to come and live with her and
undertake for a time the education of her little girl, a child of ten.
Here are her letters; this is one of the first: you see how warmly, how
affectionately, she speaks of Lina, and how delicately she made this
proposal, 'so that dear Lina's sensitive, proud nature might not be able
to imagine itself wounded.'
"As Mrs. Baxter offered her a much larger salary than I gave her, I told
Lina that I thought she ought to accept the offer of her friend. She
quietly and firmly declined.
"'Miss Dale,' I said, 'you must not stand in the way of your own good
out of any sense of obligation to me. I cannot allow you to do so.'
"'I do not do so, Madame La P----re,' she answered. 'I prefer to stay
with you to going even to Mrs. Baxter's, whom I love sincerely. She is
an excellent and most faithful friend, but I am better and safer here
with you.'
"She looked steadily at me as she began the sentence, but dropped her
eyes suddenly as she said the last words.
"'Lina,' I said, (it was in the evening, as I was leaving the
class-room, and all the _eleves_ had already gone,) 'carry me up some of
these books to my room,--I have more than usual to-night'; for I saw
there was something hidden behind this reserved manner, and felt
interested.
"She took the books, and followed me. As she laid them down and arranged
them in order on the table, I closed the door and said,--
"'Miss Dale, you have not looked very well lately, I think; I have
several times intended to tell you, that, if you would like to go home
some Saturday and spend the Sunday with your parents, you can do so.'
(Her family was then living at Kenneville, a village about twelve miles
from here.) 'I have noticed that you have never asked permission to do
this, and thought you might be waiting till I mentioned it myself.'
"She started as I said the word 'home.'
"'No, no,' she said, almost vehemently, 'I cannot go home, I do not wish
to'; and then she continued, in her usually cold, quiet manner,--'You
remember, perhaps, Madame, that I am not happily circumstanced at home.'
"She pondered a moment, and then said, as if she had made up her mind
about something,--
"'After all, I may as well tell you, Madame, all about it, as by doing
so some things in my conduct that may have seemed strange to you will be
cleared up,--that is, if you choose to hear?'
"'Certainly, _ma chere_,' I replied. 'I should be glad to hear all you
have to tell me. Sit down here.'
"She still remained standing, however, before me, her eyelids
drooping,--not shyly, for her eyes had a steady, abstracted expression,
as if she were arranging her facts in systematic order so as to tell me
her story in her usual clear, business-like manner.
"'You know, Madame, my father is guardian to two brothers, the sons of
an old army-friend of his, who died in India when his two sons were
quite boys, leaving his cousin, Colonel Lucas, together with my father,
joint guardians of his children. The boys, during school or college
vacations, spent the time partly at our house and partly at the house of
Colonel Lucas. They both seemed like brothers to me. As time went on,
Frank, the elder, began to spend all his vacations with us; and when he
left Oxford, and ought to have commenced his studies for the bar, he
continually put off the time of going up to London, where he was to
enter the office of a lawyer, and stayed on from week to week at home,
to teach me German, as he said. I knew he was rich, and that in three
years he would come into the possession of a large fortune; but I knew
also how bad it was for a young man to have no profession; and when I
saw my father seemed indifferent on the subject, I used to urge Frank
the more not to waste his time. But he generally only laughed, though at
times he would seem vexed at my earnestness, and would ask me why I
should wish him to do what he did not want to do; and then,--and
then,--this was one evening after we had been on the boat together all
the afternoon, and were walking up home,--then, Madame, he told me he
loved me, that he would go to London, study law, or do anything I said,
if I would marry him. Oh, Madame, this was dreadful to me! I was stunned
and bewildered. I had never fancied such a thing possible; the very idea
was unnatural. I had thought of Frank as a boy always; now, in a moment,
he was converted into a man, full of the determination of a selfish
purpose. I could not answer him composedly, and entreated him to leave
me. He misinterpreted my dismay, and went at once to my father. When I
came in, that evening, having somewhat regained my composure, though
with a sick feeling of dread and bewilderment in my heart, my father met
me with unusual kindness, kissed me as he had not done for years, and
led me towards Frank, who was standing near my mother. She had been
crying, I saw, and her face wore a strange expression of anxiety and
nervous joy as she looked at me. I turned away from Frank, and threw
myself down on the floor by my mother.
"'"Thank Heaven, Lina!" I heard her whisper; "God bless you, my child!
you have saved me years of bitterness."
"'I exclaimed,--"I cannot marry Frank,--I don't love him, mother,--don't
try to make me!"
"'Ah, Madame, it was dreadful! I don't know how I bore it. My father
stormed, and my mother cried, and poured forth such entreaties and
persuasions,--telling me I mistook my heart, and that I should learn to
love Frank, and about duty as a daughter to my father, and, oh, I don't
know what beside!--and Frank stood by, silent and pale, and with a look
I had never seen before of unrelenting, passionate, pitiless love.
"'Oh,' sighed Lina, 'it was hard, with no one to take my part! but the
hardest was yet to come.
"'Days and weeks passed on, and I was miserable beyond what I can tell
you. Nothing more was said on the subject, however, except by Frank, who
tortured me by alternate entreaties and reproaches, and sometimes by
occasional fits of thoughtfulness and kindness, in which he would leave
me to myself, only appealing to me by unobtrusive acts of courtesy and
devotion, which gave me more pain than either reproach or entreaty. But
if it had not been for these days of comparative calm and quiet, I
should hardly have been able to bear what followed. As it was, I had
time to collect my strength and plan my line of conduct.
"'One night my father called me into his room. I saw by his manner that
he was much excited. My mother was there also; she looked alarmed, and
glanced from my father to me anxiously and inquiringly. You know mamma
has very little strength of character, Madame. I could not hope for help
from her; so I called up all my resolution, knowing that some trial was
before me. I can hardly tell you what I heard then, Madame, it was such
disgrace,' said Lina, raising her eyes slowly and fixing them a moment
on mine, while a sudden, curious, embarrassed expression passed over her
face, such as is accompanied in other persons by a painful flush, but
which left her face pale and cold, causing no change in color.
"'My father told me, Madame, that some unfortunate speculations which he
had undertaken, and in which he had used the fortune of Frank intrusted
to his care, had failed, and that, when Frank became four-and-twenty, at
which time, according to his father's will, he was to enter upon his
property, his own wrong-doing would be discovered, and thence-forward he
would be at the mercy of his ward. Frank had, indeed, already learned
how great a wrong had been done him. My mother clung to me, weakly
pouring forth laudations on the generosity of Frank, who, through his
affection for me, was willing to forgive all this injury. Was I not
grateful? Why did I not go to him and tell him that the devotion of my
life would be a poor recompense for such generosity? Oh, Madame, it was
dreadful! I was not grateful at all; I hated him; and the misery of
having to decide thus the fate of my father was intolerable.'
"'But what did the young man himself say to all this, Lina?' I inquired;
'did he never speak to you on the subject?'
"'Yes,' she replied; and after he had spoken quite bitterly against my
father, (they never liked each other,) he said, that, however he might
feel towards him as his guardian, there was nothing that he could not
forget and forgive in the father of his wife,--which did not make me
respect him any more, you may be sure, and showed me that it was useless
to appeal to his generosity. My life now was miserable indeed.
"'About this time, my aunt in Scotland sent for me to pay her a visit.
She was in failing health, and wanted cheerful companionship, and I had
always been a favorite with her as a child. She lived alone with a
couple of old servants in a small village far in the wilds of ----shire.
My father, of course, opposed my going, alleging, as his reason, the
long journey (we were then living in W----, in Shropshire) that I should
have to take alone. To my astonishment, Frank took my part, insisting on
my being allowed to go. Whether it was that he thought that when far
away from home, in the seclusion of the Scotch village where my aunt
lived, I should think more kindly of him, or whether he wished to touch
me by a show of magnanimity, I cannot tell; but so it was, and I went.'
"Lina here paused a moment, thoughtfully.
"'But, Lina,' I said, 'if the young man was well educated, rich, and
seemed only to have the one fault of loving you so well, why would you
not marry him? _Ma chere_,' I said, 'you throw away your good fate. You
see what a service it would be to your family. (I speak as your friend,
you comprehend.) You save your father; you make the young man happy; all
could be arranged so charmingly! I should like to see you married, _ma
chere_; and then, your duty as a daughter!'
"'Oh, yes, yes! she cried; 'I would do, oh, anything almost, to shield
my poor father and mother! Perhaps once, _once_, I might; but it is too
late now. I cannot marry Frank. Oh, Madame, it is as impossible as if I
were dead!'
"'This is a strange story, Lina,' I said. 'What do you mean? Tell me, my
child, or I shall think you crazy.'
"She laid her head on her hands, which were clasped on the top of the
escritoire, and half whispered,--
"'I am engaged,--I am married to some one else.'
"I sprang from my seat, and caught her hands.
"'You married, Lina? you? the quiet girl who has been teaching the
children so well all these months?'
"'Yes, Madame,' she said, with all her usual composure, 'and to a man I
love with my whole soul, with my whole life. The future may seem dim,
but I have little fear when I remember I am Arthur's wife, and that his
love will be strong to help me whenever I relieve him of the promise I
have obliged him to make not to reveal our marriage. Frank will be
three-and-twenty in one year and a half from now; till then, he cannot,
without great difficulty, harm my father, and by that time I trust his
fancy for me will have passed away, and he will be willing to treat with
my father about his property without personal feeling to aggravate his
sense of the wrong that has been done him. He is in the East now with
Colonel Lucas, his other guardian, who has not been without his
suspicions of Frank's liking for me, and is not at all unwilling, I
think, to keep him out of the way for a while.'
"'Does no one know of this, Lina?' I asked, 'no one suspect it?'
"'Only two persons,' she replied,--'indeed, I may as well tell you at
once, Madame,--beside Mrs. Baxter and her husband, at whose house the
ceremony took place. They were then staying in the neighborhood of
H----, a few miles from my aunt's house. It was at Mrs. Baxter's I first
met Arthur: he was a distant connection of hers. He and his Cousin
Marmaduke had come up for the shooting and fishing for a few weeks in
the autumn. My aunt was a genial, bright old lady, fond of the society
of young people, spite of her ill health, and invited the young men
frequently to her house. In that way I saw a great deal of them both.'
"'Who was the gentleman, Lina? Had you seen him before this visit? But,'
seeing she hesitated, 'if you do not wish to disclose more, say so
frankly; what you have already told me I will guard as a secret,--you
need not fear.'
"'Oh, Madame,' interrupted Lina, suddenly throwing herself on the floor
at my feet, 'it's not that,--do not say that, dear Madame! It is a great
comfort to me to tell you all this; sometimes I feel so lonely when by
any chance I do not get a letter from him the day I expect one.'
"Her voice faltered, and she leaned forward, burying her face in her
hands; I saw her breast shaken with weeping.
"'Tell me all, _ma pauvre petite_!' I said; 'tell me everything.'
"Then seeing she still continued weeping, I said, playfully,--
"'So you get letters from him, do you? I have never known this. You
know, _ma cherie_, that that is against the rules of my _pension_; but
when people are married,--_c'est une autre chose_! But how is it that I
have never found this out? Ah, because you have charge of all the
letters to and from the post!'
"'Yes, Madame,' she said, looking up with a smile. 'I have sometimes
felt so unhappy, because I seemed to be doing a _dishonest_ thing; but
it would have been so hard to go without them, and I knew how kind and
good you were. If you would like to see one of his letters,' she
continued, half shyly, but with dignified gravity, 'I have one here';
and she drew a large letter from her pocket and handed it to me.
"Here it is," said Madame, taking the first from the bundle in her hand.
The handwriting was firm and regular; the letter was long, but, though
the whole breathed but one feeling of the deepest and tenderest
affection, it was hardly what would be called a "love-letter." There
were criticisms of new works, and further references to books of a kind
that showed the writer to be a man of scholarly tastes. After we had
looked at this one, Madame handed us others from the packet, all marked
by the same characteristics as the first. Here and there were little
pictures of the writer's every-day life. He told of his being out on the
moors at sunrise shooting with his Cousin Marmaduke, or riding round the
estate giving orders about the transplanting of certain trees, "which
are set as you have suggested, and are growing as fast as they can till
you come to walk under their shade," or in the library at evening, when
the place beside him seems so void where she should be. Then there were
other letters, speaking of ---- ----, the poet, who was coming down to
spend a few weeks with him, and write verses under his elms at Aylesford
Grange; but in one and all Lina was the central idea round which all
other interests merely turned, and the source from which all else drew
its charm.
"As soon," said Madame, continuing her narration, "as I had finished
reading the letter, I entreated Lina to go on with her curious history.
"'I met Arthur,' she said, 'first at Mrs. Baxter's, as I said before. He
is the noblest man I have ever known,--so good, so clever, so pure in
heart! His Cousin Marmaduke, who was there at the same time, paid me
great attention, but I never liked him; there was always something
repulsive to me in his black eyes; I never trusted him; and beside
Arthur,--oh, it seemed like the contrast between night and day! I don't
know why it was, Madame, but I never felt that he loved Arthur really,
though Arthur had done a great deal for him, got him his commission in
the army, and paid off some of his debts; but he never seemed as if he
quite forgave Arthur for standing in the way of his being the lord of
the manor himself and possessor of Aylesford. There are some
mean-spirited people who are proud too. They can receive favors, while
they resent the obligation. He was of that kind, I think, and hated
Arthur for his very generosity.
"'One evening, as I was walking up the shrubbery, I met Marmaduke. He
had ridden over with Arthur, as they often did, to spend the evening. He
had caught sight of me, he said, as they came up the avenue, and, under
pretext of something being wrong with his horse's bridle, had stopped,
and let Arthur go on to the house alone. He had long waited for this
opportunity of speaking to me alone, he said, as I must have known.
Then, amid the basest of vague insinuations against Arthur, he dared to
proffer me his odious love. Oh, Madame, I was angry! A woman cannot bear
feigned love,--it stings like hatred; still less can she bear to hear
one she loves spoken of as I had heard him speak of Arthur. I hardly
know what I said, but it must have expressed my feeling; for he tried to
taunt me in return with being in love with Arthur and _Aylesford_. I
only smiled, and walked on. Then he sprang after me, and vowed I should
not leave him so,--that he loved me madly, spite of my scorn, spite of
my foolish words. He knew well I did not love Arthur, that I was
ambitious only. So was he,--and so determined in his purpose, that he
was sure to succeed in it, spite of everything. "For there are few
things," he added, "that can stand against my settled will. Beware,
then, how you cross it, sweet Lina!" I shook my cloak loose from his
hand, for his words sent a thrill of horror through me, and rushed on,
speechless with indignation, to the house. Two days after this I became
engaged to Arthur. How happy we were!' said Lina, a dreamy expression
passing over her face at the retrospect.
"'I told Arthur everything about my home; but I did not tell him of my
conversation with Marmaduke in the shrubbery, because I could not bear
to give him the pain which a discovery of his cousin's baseness would
have caused him. Marmaduke, I perceived, knew that I had not betrayed
him; for one night, as I was sitting at the piano, he thanked me
hastily, as he turned over the leaf of my music-book, for a generous
proof of confidence. I took no notice of these words, but was conscious
of a flush of indignation at the word _confidence_.
"'Arthur and I were always together; we read together, and talked over
our past and future lives. Nothing now troubled me. He took all the
burden and anxiety of my life to himself, and with his love added a
sense of peace and security most exquisite to me.
"'I told him all the miserable story of Frank, and he listened gravely;
but though it certainly troubled him, it never seemed to daunt him for
an instant. So gentle as he is, nothing ever could shake him. I was so
happy then, that I could not feel angry even with Marmaduke; and as he
seemed to be willing to forget the past, we became somewhat more
friendly towards each other. But if I ever happened to be alone with
him, even for a moment, the recollection of our talk in the shrubbery
would come to my mind, and the old feeling of anger would spring up
again, the effort to suppress which was so painful that I always avoided
being with him, unless Arthur were by also.
"'One day there came a letter from my father,--and what its character
was you may suppose, when I tell you that it made me utterly forget my
present happiness. At the end of the letter he commanded me to return
home immediately. It came one evening: I read and re-read its cruel
words till I could bear no more. I saw Arthur standing in the twilight
below my window, and went down and laid the letter silently in his
hands. When he had finished reading it, he came slowly towards me. I
shall never forget his look as he took my hands in his and drew me to
him, looking into my face so earnestly. Then he said, in a low, grave
voice, "Lina, do you love me? Then we must be married at once,--do not
be afraid,--perhaps to-night. I fear your father may follow that letter
very soon. You have suffered too much already. You have no one but me to
look to. Heaven knows I do not think alone of my own happiness."'
"Lina paused a moment. 'I yielded,' she said. 'I could have followed him
blindly then anywhere! So that evening, in the drawing-room, with Mr.
and Mrs. Baxter and Marmaduke as witnesses, we were married by a Scotch
clergyman (there was no clergyman of our own Church within twenty
miles). The ceremony was very simple. As the last words were being
pronounced, some one entered the room hastily, and there was whispering
and confusion for a moment or two, and when I rose from my knees the
first words that greeted me were the intelligence that my aunt was
dangerously ill, and had sent a special messenger for me. Late as it
was, I prepared instantly to accompany the man back to H----. I was
stung with self-reproaches at the thought of my aunt lying, as I
fancied, dying without me near her, and peremptorily refused to allow
Arthur to accompany me on my long drive.
"'That was the last time I saw him. The next day he was called away on
important business, which admitted of no delay. I remained with my poor
aunt till her death, which took place at the end of that week, three
days after my marriage. Then my parents came for me. My father's manner
was unusually kind; my poor mother's expressions of love went to my
heart. Frank was not at home, they said, but had gone up to London to
prepare for his journey to the East. They had determined to reside for a
while in France, and they promised that he should not be informed of my
being with them, if I would consent to accompany them. I yielded to
their solicitations, parted with my true friend Mrs. Baxter, and crossed
the Channel with them. At the end of three weeks I discovered that my
father had broken his word and informed Frank by letter of my being with
them. Then I fled to you, having heard of the position vacant in your
_pension_. I have tried to do my duty here, and to merit in some degree
your kindness. With you I am happier than I could be with any one but
Arthur. Arthur has learned to love you too: will you read this letter
speaking of you?' drawing a letter from her pocket.
"This is it," said Madame, taking one from the pile, and pointing out
the passage.
"I am weary of my life, sometimes, without you,--here, where you ought
to be,--_your home_, Lina! I wander through the rooms that I have
prepared with such delight for you, and think of the time when you will
be here,--mistress of all!... When will you come, my wife? I think and
dream in this way till I am haunted by the ghost of the future. I get
morbid, and fancy all kinds of dangers that may happen to my darling, so
far away from me; and then I am ready to go at once to you and break
down all barriers and bear you away.... I thank Heaven you have so good
a friend in '_Madame_.' I long for the time to come when I may greet her
as one of my best friends for your sake. In the mean time, I have
selected an Indian cabinet, the grotesque delicate work of which would
please your quaint fancy, which I trust she will accept, if you will
join me in the gift. I shall have an opportunity of sending it in a few
weeks.... Mrs. Eldridge, my dear old housekeeper, has just been in. She
wishes to know whether the new curtains of the little library are to be
crimson or gray. She little knows what confusion she causes me! She
knows not that I am no longer master here! I tell her I will deliberate
on the point, and she retires mystified by my unusual indecision. So
write quickly and make known your desires, if you wish to save me from
an imputation of becoming, as the good old-lady says, 'a little set and
bachelor-like in my ways.' Marmaduke and ---- come down next week to
shoot.... You say, wait till spring, when things will be more propitious
for disclosing our marriage. I have also another scheme which will be
ripened by spring. I shall disclose our marriage, and propose to your
father to make him independent of his ward. No one, certainly, has a
better right to do this than his son-in-law; and then----But I hardly
dare to think of the happiness that will be mine when nothing but death
can part us any more!"
"One evening about this time," continued Madame, "about a week after
Lina had shown me this letter, I came down into the _cabinet de musique_
on my way to the garden to take my usual evening walk on the terrace,
and saw Lina standing by the piano with her bonnet on and her shawl laid
beside her. In her hand she held letters, one of which she had that
moment unsealed. She had, I knew, just returned from the post-office.
"'I have a letter here from Mrs. Baxter, Madame,' she said. 'She writes
to me in great distress; the two children, Minnie and Louisa, whom she
was so anxious to send here, are both ill with scarlet-fever. But here
is your letter; she will no doubt tell you everything herself.'
"I took the letter and seated myself, and was soon absorbed in the poor
mother's hurried and almost incoherent relation, when suddenly I was
startled by a gesture or sound from Lina that made me look up hastily.
She stood with the letter she had been reading crushed in her hand, her
face wearing an expression of agony. For a moment she swayed to and fro
with her hand outstretched to catch a chair for support, but before I
could reach her she had fallen heavily to the floor. I called Justine,
and we raised her to a chair. I stood by her supporting her head on my
breast, while Justine ran for camphor and _eau-de-vie_. It was some time
before she recovered her consciousness; she then slowly opened her eyes
and fixed them wonderingly on me, but with no look of recognition in
them. A long shiver passed over her, and she sighed heavily once or
twice as she looked vacantly at the letter on the floor. I was
terrified, and seized the letter, to gain, if possible, some explanation
of the miserable state of the poor girl.
"I found that the envelope contained three letters: one from Marmaduke
Kirkdale; one from the housekeeper, Mrs. Eldridge; and this scrap from
Arthur.
"LETTER OF MARMADUKE.
"'MY DEAR MADAM,--I have heavy tidings to send you. While out shooting
yesterday morning in the Low Copse, Mr. ----, Arthur, and myself became
separated: Mr. ----, who had been my companion, keeping on an open path;
I going down towards the pool to beat up a thicket and start the game.
Arthur I supposed was with the gamekeeper, a little distance in advance
of us. Would that it had been so! As I came up to join the others I
heard the report of a gun, and hastening towards the spot whence the
sound seemed to come, I found my poor cousin lying upon the ground, and
at first supposed, that, in leaping the fence, he had received a sudden
blow from a branch, which had stunned him; but on kneeling down to raise
him, I perceived he was bleeding profusely from a wound in the throat,
and was perfectly unconscious. Mr. ---- came up almost at the moment,
and while the gamekeeper and I bore Arthur to a farm-house hard by, he
went off to call the nearest doctor. Everything has been done that skill
and care could devise. The physician from B---- is here, besides Mr.
Gordon, the village-surgeon. They pronounce the wound very serious, but
still hold out hopes that with great care he may yet recover. There is
no doubt that in leaping the hedge, and holding his gun carelessly, my
cousin had inflicted this terrible injury on himself. He is, however,
too weak to make it safe to ask him any explanation of the accident. The
doctors insist on perfect quiet and rest, and say, that, owing to the
unremitting care we have been able to give him, he has done much better
than they could have hoped for. If fever can be prevented, all may yet
go well; for myself, I believe strongly in Arthur's robust constitution.
"'_Friday night._--Arthur was doing very well till about two o'clock
this morning. The housekeeper and I were with him. Mr. ---- had gone to
take some rest. Suddenly Arthur raised himself, and asked for paper and
pencil. I remonstrated with him, fearing the effects of exertion. When,
however, I found Mr. ----(who had been called in by Mrs. Eldridge)
declared his judgment in favor of compliance, I yielded, and, supported
by the housekeeper, my cousin wrote a few almost illegible words. He had
scarcely signed his name when he fell back,--the exertion, as I had
feared, had been too much for him. After this he sank rapidly. He died
at six o'clock this morning.
"'I hold my cousin's place now by his death. I am ready to do so fully.
"'I am yours as YOU WILL,
"'MAR'KE C. KIRKDALE.'
"LETTER OF THE HOUSEKEEPER.
"'RESPECTED MADAM--I do not know that I have any right presuming to
meddle with affairs that don't belong to my walk in life, far be it from
me to do so, especially to one that whatever they may say seems always
like my mistress to me--owing to the last words my poor dear Mr. Arthur
ever spoke was, She is my wife, my own wife, let no one gainsay it,
which at the time I did not take in fairly, being almost broken down
with sorrow, for I had nursed him as a baby, Madam, and loved him humbly
as my own son, no lady could have loved him better, which having lost
him and all this trouble (my heart seeming fairly broke) makes me write,
respected Madam, worse than usual, never having been a scholar, he
always wrote them for me, God bless him. You won't think me presuming,
Madam, when I say these things never having had the honour of seeing
you, but you are the only person who can feel for me under these
circumstances of trial more than any others. For to see them going
through the house looking into precious drawers and burning papers in
the library fire and turning on a person like a Tiger, though he may be
a gentleman (though how of that family that always was remarkable gentle
spoken I cannot tell.) There never were two cousins differenter. I never
can regard him as my master, never. I would sooner leave the old place
and beg my bread than feel _him_ master after my blessed Mr. Arthur, not
that I'd speak evil of the family. But God Almighty reads the hearts of
men, and I only hope some may come out clear in appearing at the
Judgment, and mayn't disgrace the Family then--for to say that my Mr.
Arthur never made a will when twice he's spoke to me upon the subject,
always trusting me, Madam, telling me where he kept it in the library,
and though it's not to be found the house through, still I know it must
be somewhere, for I'd trust his word against a thousand. I shall ask Mr.
---- to forward this present not knowing your address, he is a kind
gentleman and a true friend. I send you the little scrap of paper with
the last words he ever wrote. _Some_ may say it's no good and
unreadable, but I took care that them that didn't value it didn't get
it, though they did search everywhere, and looked so black when it
couldn't be found being in my pocket at the time. I present my services,
honoured Madam, and my dutiful affection for the sake of him that's
gone.
"'ELIZABETH ELDRIDGE.'
"LETTER OF ARTHUR.
"'Only a moment or so left to me. Goodbye, my Lina! I am dying--and
without you near me. We have waited so long! It is hard to leave you
alone in the world, darling. Come and live here--your own home. If you
had been here but one day, things might have been otherwise. Take care
of the poor--keep Mrs. Eldridge with you, she is faithful and
true--true--she knows--God keep you, darling. I am so weak--there is no
hope.
"'ARTHUR KIRKDALE.'
"For three days Lina lay on her bed almost without giving a sign of
life,--her face rigid and colorless. She refused to eat, and only when I
myself used my authority with her did any nourishment pass her lips. On
the evening of the third day I became alarmed, and determined to send
for a physician. I told Justine to despatch one of the servants for Dr.
B----, but to request him to come after five o'clock, when I should have
returned from vespers, as I wished to see him myself. I gave my
directions to Justine as we stood together at the foot of Lina's bed, in
so low a whisper as to prevent, as I thought, the possibility of her
hearing me. Great, then, was my astonishment, when, on leaving my room,
ready for church, I met Lina on the staircase. Her face was very pale,
and she clung to the banisters for support as she descended. Before I
could express my surprise, she said,--
"'I feel very much better, Madame, and if you please will call the class
for English lesson at six.'
"I told her she must go back to her room,--that she should not have
risen without my knowledge.
"'I must have occupation,' she replied; 'it is much better for me.'
"I felt she was right, and let her go down,--and that evening she held
her class as usual. So she continued, day after day, her accustomed
round of duties, with all her usual precision and care. Her self-control
annoyed me. She passed to and fro in the house, her face pale and wan,
though with a composed expression, and all my earnest entreaties that
she should seek rest or relaxation were met by the same calm refusal.
Saturday came, and I was glad to see she showed something like interest
in the prospect of the letters from England that would arrive that day,
and begged me to allow her to go as usual to get them at the
post-office. I willingly acceded to her request, thinking the fresh air
and sea-breeze would do her good. She returned with several letters, and
brought them to me, seeming to desire my company while she read them.
One was from Marmaduke, one from Mr. R----, her husband's lawyer in
Lincoln. The former puzzled me; it was vague and threatening, and yet
there were expressions in it almost befitting a love-letter. Lina read
it to me with hardly any change of expression, but dropped it from her
fingers as she finished it, with a look of mingled indifference and
disgust. The grave, business-like letter of the lawyer had still less
effect upon her. I read it to her,--for, although in English, I had no
difficulty in making out every syllable, so distinctly was it written,
and with such legal precision. It informed Lina that Mr. R----felt some
apprehension of her having trouble in substantiating her marriage, that
his conversation with Mr. Marmaduke Kirkdale had been (although somewhat
vague on the part of the latter) wholly unsatisfactory. This, and the
fact that no will had as yet been found among her husband's papers, made
him fear that she might be involved in lengthy and perhaps annoying
legal proceedings. At the close, he desired her to write out a careful
account of all the circumstances of her marriage, as it was most
important that he should know all the details of the case.
"'These things weary me so!' said Lina; 'but it does not matter,' she
added, sighing; 'for _his_ sake I must do this.'
"The few contemptuous words in answer to Marmaduke's letter were soon
written, and she then began her reply to the letter of her lawyer. This
seemed to cost her a great effort; she sighed frequently as she wrote,
and at the end of two hours, as she finished the last words, her head
fell on the sheet of paper before her, and she burst into tears. I could
not try to check this outburst of grief, knowing that it must be a
great relief to her overtaxed system after the strain of the last few
days. She was soon again calm, and resumed her writing. A letter to her
parents, informing them of her secret marriage and sudden widowhood, was
next written, and Lina, in her plain bonnet and shawl and closely
veiled, set off with the three letters to the post-office."
Here Madame paused. She smiled faintly.
"I find that I have become again unconsciously, interested in Lina, as I
have told her story, and I hesitate to approach the _denoument_;
but"--and she sighed delicately, not sufficiently to disperse the
smile--"I must go through with this, as Lina herself used to say. One
night about this time I had been writing late, and it was past midnight
when I descended with my lamp in my hand to go the round of the
class-rooms, as is my wont before retiring to rest. I paused, as I
passed down the school-room, opposite the _Sainte Croix_, and repeated
my _salut_ before the Holy Emblem. As I finished the last words, my eyes
fell on a small slip of paper lying on Lina's desk, on which my own name
was written three times, in what appeared my own handwriting,--Jeanne
Clinie La P----re. A cold shudder ran through me, as if I had heard my
name in the accents of my _double_. Obeying a sudden impulse, I opened
Lina's desk, and seized the papers within. Uppermost lay a thick
_cahier_, in which, in Lina's writing, were what at first seemed copies
of all the letters she had received from England within the last few
months. There were also facsimiles of letters to me from Mrs. Baxter,
Mr. A. Kirkdale, and others. Then there were draughts of the same
letters, written in the various handwritings with which I had become
familiar, as those of Lina's and my own English correspondents. Here and
there were improvements and corrections in Lina's own writing. Below
these lay piles of letters,--a bundle of ten letters of my own, forming
part of my correspondence with Mrs. Baxter, and which I had intrusted to
Lina at various times to post. These were without envelopes, and simply
tied together. I sat there for more than an hour, stupefied by this
strange revelation; and then, taking the bundle of my own letters
addressed to Mrs. Baxter, I went to my room.
"Next morning, when I descended to the school-room, I glanced, in
passing, at Lina, and thought I perceived a slightly fluttered,
disturbed expression in her face; but I continued the usual routine of
the morning's work without speaking to her. After class was over, I sent
for her to come to my room. I myself was much disturbed; _she_ was
perfectly calm and collected; but as I laid the bundle of my own letters
to Mrs. Baxter on the table, and demanded an explanation of their being
found in her desk, she turned pale, and snatched up the packet and held
it tightly. To my question, she answered that I evidently did her great
wrong, but she was used to being misunderstood; that the kindness I had
shown her entitled me to an explanation, which she would not otherwise
have given.
"'It is a weakness that I am ashamed of that has caused this trouble,'
she said. 'I have sat up in the lonely nights and read and re-read my
letters, and then I began to copy them, copied even the handwriting,
till I grew very perfect in it, and then I could not bear to destroy any
of those precious words, but kept them, as I thought, in secret,--but
now some one has _basely taken them from my desk_, and brought them to
you. As for your letters to Mrs. Baxter, there are, I see, only one or
two here. Give me only time and you shall have that cleared up also. I
will write to Mrs. Baxter, beg her to explain how she let these letters
get out of her possession, and ask her to inclose all the rest of your
letters to her. I will take care that her answer shall come _through the
post-office_, and not, as heretofore, inclosed in a letter to _me_; so
that you may feel quite sure that there is no mistake, Madame La
P----re.'
"I felt baffled and guilty before her; and the next three days were
most uncomfortable. I could not but feel _genee_ with Lina, while she
maintained the character of wounded innocence. The evening of the third
day, Justine handed to me a large packet which the postman had just
brought, and upon which there were ten francs to pay. It was directed to
me in Mrs. Baxter's well-known handwriting. I tore open the cover, and a
shower of letters fell on the table. _All_ my letters to Mrs. Baxter,
and one from herself, entreating to know the reason of this 'singular
request of dear Lina's.' I was disconcerted and relieved at once, when,
turning the wrapper listlessly in my fingers, my eye suddenly caught, on
the reverse side, and _printed_ in large letters, these words,--'This
packet was sent to the Postmaster in Bristol to be reposted to ----.'
That was the end of it. I had paid ten francs for learning the agreeable
fact that I had been duped,--for the satisfaction of knowing that for
two years and a half I had been wasting my sympathy and even tears on a
set of purely imaginary characters and the little _intrigante_ who had
befooled me.
"When I showed Lina the printed words on the wrapper, she turned very
pale, but maintained a stubborn silence to all my reproaches.
"'How could you deceive me so?'
"'I don't know.'
"'What reason _could_ you have?'
"'None.'
"'Lina! was there a particle of truth in anything you have told me?'
"'No, Madame.'
"This was all I could get from her; but as she left the room, she turned
and said, looking at me half reproachfully, half maliciously,--
"'I suppose we had better part now. At any rate, you will at least own
that I have interested you, Madame!'
"She left me two days afterwards, and the last I heard of her was in the
situation of companion to a Russian Countess, with whom she was an
immense favorite. She made some effort to gain possession of these
letters; but I reminded her, that, as they had been written exclusively
for my benefit, I considered I had a right to keep them. To this she
simply answered, 'Very well, Madame.'"
* * * * *
It is, perhaps, hardly necessary to add that the story of Lina Dale is
told here precisely as related to us by Madame La P----re, of course
excepting the necessary changes in the names of places and persons. The
three letters are not copies of the original ones in the possession of
Madame La P----re, but a close transcript of them from memory,--the
substance of them is identical, and in many instances the words also.
The extraordinary power shown by Lina Dale in maintaining the character
she had assumed and sustained during two years and a half was fully
carried out by the skill and cleverness of her pretended correspondence;
and in reading over these piles of letters, so full of originality, one
could not but feel regret at the perversion of powers so
remarkable,--powers which might have been developed by healthy action
into means of usefulness and good.