Laura had it now in her power to discharge her debt to the surgeon, and
she was resolved that it should immediately be paid. When, therefore, he
called in the morning to make his daily visit, she met him before he
entered Montreville's chamber, and requested to speak with him in the
parlour.
She began by saying, she feared that medicine could be of little use to
her father, to which Dr Flint readily assented, declaring, in his dry
way, that generous food and open air would benefit him more than all the
drugs in London. Laura begged him to say explicitly so to the Captain,
and to give that as a reason for declining to make him any more
professional visits. She then presented him a paper containing four
guineas, which she thought might be the amount of his claim. He took the
paper, and deliberately unfolding it, returned one-half of its contents;
saying, that his account had been settled so lately, that the new one
could not amount to more than the sum he retained. Laura, who having now
no favour to beg, no debt that she was unable to pay, was no longer
ashamed of her poverty, easily opened to Dr Flint so much of her
situation as was necessary to instruct him in the part he had to act
with Montreville. He made no offer to continue his visits, even as an
acquaintance, but readily undertook all that Laura required of him,
adding, 'Indeed, Miss Montreville, I should have told your father long
ago that physic was useless to him, but whimsical people must have
something to amuse them, and if he had not paid for my pills, he would
for some other man's.' He then went to Montreville, and finding him in
better spirits than he had lately enjoyed, actually succeeded in
persuading him, for that day at least, that no new prescription was
necessary, and that he could continue to use the old without the
inspection of a surgeon.
Laura's mind was much relieved by her having settled this affair to her
wish; and when the Doctor was gone, she sat down cheerfully to her
drawing. Her meeting with Hargrave had lightened her heart of a load
which had long weighed upon it more heavily than she was willing to
allow; and, spite of poverty, she was cheerful. 'I have now only hunger
and toil to endure,' thought she, smiling as gaily as if hunger and toil
had been trifles; 'but light will be my labours, for by them I can in
part pay back my debt of life to my dear kind father. I am no more
forlorn and deserted, for he is come who is sunshine to Laura's soul.
The cloud that darkened him has passed away, and he will brighten all my
after life. Oh fondly beloved! with thee I would have been content to
tread the humblest path; but, if we must climb the steeps, together we
will court the breeze, together meet the storm. No time shall change the
love I bear thee. Thy step, when feeble with age, shall still be music
to Laura's ear. When the lustre of the melting eyes is quenched, when
the auburn ringlet fades to silver, dearer shalt thou be to me than in
all the pride of manly beauty. And when at last the dust shall cover us,
one tree shall shelter our narrow beds, and the wind that fans the
flowers upon thy grave, shall scatter their fallen leaves upon mine.'
Casting these thoughts into the wild extempore measures which are
familiar to the labourers of her native mountains,[A] Laura was singing
them to one of the affecting melodies of her country, her sweet voice
made more sweet by the magic of real tenderness, when the door opened,
and Hargrave himself entered.
[A] See Jamieson's Popular Ballads, Vol. ii, p. 558.
He came, resolved to exert all his influence, to urge every plea which
the affection of Laura would allow him, in order to extort her consent
to their immediate union; and he was too well convinced of his power to
be very diffident of success. Laura ceased her song in as much confusion
as if her visitor had understood the language in which it was composed,
or could have known himself to be the subject of it. He had been
listening to its close, and now urged her to continue it, but was unable
to prevail. He knew that she was particularly sensible to the charms of
music. He had often witnessed the effect of her own pathetic voice upon
her feelings; and he judged that no introduction could be more proper to
a conference in which he intended to work on her sensibility. He
therefore begged her to sing a little plaintive air with which she had
often drawn tears from his eyes. But Laura knew that, as her father was
still in bed, she could not without rudeness avoid a long tête à tête
with Hargrave, and therefore she did not choose to put her composure to
any unnecessary test. She excused herself from complying with his
request, but glad to find any indifferent way to pass the time, she
offered to sing, if he would allow her to choose her own song, and then
began a lively air, which she executed with all the vivacity that she
could command. The style of it was quite at variance with Hargrave's
present humour and design. He heard it with impatience; and scarcely
thanking her said, 'Your spirits are high this morning, Miss
Montreville.'
'They are indeed,' replied Laura, gaily, 'I hope you have no intention
to make them otherwise.'
'Certainly not; though they are little in unison with my own. The
meditations of a restless, miserable night, have brought me to you.'
'Is it the usual effect of a restless night to bring you abroad so early
the next morning?' said Laura, anxious to avoid a trial of strength in a
sentimental conference.
'I will be heard seriously,' said Hargrave, colouring with anger, 'and
seriously too I must be answered.'
'Nay,' said Laura, 'if you look so tremendous I shall retreat without
hearing you at all.'
Hargrave, who instantly saw that he had not chosen the right road to
victory, checked his rising choler--'Laura,' said he, 'you have yourself
made me the victim of a passion ungovernable--irresistible; and it is
cruel--it is ungenerous in you to sport with my uneasiness.'
'Do not give the poor passion such hard names,' said Laura, smiling.
'Perhaps you have never tried to resist or govern it.'
'As soon might I govern the wind,' cried Hargrave, vehemently,--'as soon
resist the fires of Heaven. And why attempt to govern it?'
'Because,' answered Laura, 'it is weak, it is sinful, to submit
unresisting to the bondage of an imperious passion.'
'Would that you too would submit unresisting to its bondage!' said
Hargrave, delighted to have made her once more serious. 'But if this
passion is sinful,' continued he, 'my reformation rests with you alone.
Put a period to my lingering trial. Consent to be mine, and hush all
these tumults to rest.'
'Take care how you furnish me with arguments against yourself,' returned
Laura, laughing. 'Would it be my interest, think you, to lull all these
transports to such profound repose?'
'Be serious Laura, I implore you. Well do you know that my love can end
only with my existence, but I should no longer be distracted with these
tumultuous hopes and fears if--' 'Oh,' cried Laura, interrupting him,
'hope is too pleasing a companion for you to wish to part with that;
and,' added she, a smile and a blush contending upon her cheek, 'I begin
to believe that your fears are not very troublesome.' 'Ah Laura,' said
Hargrave sorrowfully, 'you know not what you say. There are moments when
I feel as if you were already lost to me--and the bare thought is
distraction. Oh if you have pity for real suffering,' continued he,
dropping on his knees, 'save me from the dread of losing you; forget the
hour of madness in which I offended you. Restore to me the time when you
owned that I was dear to you. Be yet more generous, and give me
immediate, unalienable right to your love.'
'You forget, Colonel Hargrave,' said Laura, again taking sanctuary in an
appearance of coldness; 'you forget that six months ago I fixed two
years of rectitude as the test of your repentance, and that you were
then satisfied with my decision.'
'I would then have blessed you for any sentence that left me a hope,
however distant; but now the time when I may claim your promise seems at
such a hopeless distance--Oh Laura, let me but prevail with you; and I
will bind myself by the most solemn oaths to a life of unsullied
purity.'
'No oaths,' replied Laura with solemnity, 'can strengthen the ties that
already bind you to a life of purity. That you are of noble rank, calls
you to be an example to others; and the yet higher distinction of an
immortal spirit bids you strive after virtues that may never meet the
eye of man. Only convince me that such are the objects of your ambition,
and I shall no longer fear to trust with you my improvement and my
happiness.'
As she spoke unusual animation sparkled in her eyes, and tinged her
delicate cheek with brighter colouring. 'Lovely, lovely creature!' cried
Hargrave, in transport, 'give but thyself to these fond arms, and may
Heaven forsake me if I strive not to make thee blest beyond the sweetest
dreams of youthful fancy.'
'Alas!' said Laura, 'even your affection would fail to bless a heart
conscious of acting wrong.'
'Where is the wrong,' said Hargrave, gathering hope from the relenting
tenderness of her voice, 'Where is the wrong of yielding to the
strongest impulse of nature--or, to speak in language more like your
own, where is the guilt of submitting to an ordinance of Heaven's own
appointment?'
'Why,' replied Laura, 'will you force me to say what seems unkind? Why
compel me to remind you that marriage was never meant to sanction the
unholy connection of those whose principles are discordant?'
'Beloved of my heart,' said Hargrave, passionately kissing her hand,
'take me to thyself, and mould me as thou wilt. I swear to thee that not
even thine own life shall be more pure, more innocent than mine. Blest
in thy love, what meaner pleasure could allure me. Oh yield then, and
bind me for ever to virtue and to thee.'
Laura shook her head. 'Ah Hargrave,' said she, with a heavy sigh,
'before you can love and practice the purity which reaches the heart,
far other loves must warm, far other motives inspire you.'
'No other love can ever have such power over me,' said Hargrave with
energy. 'Be but thou and thy matchless beauty the prize, and every
difficulty is light, every sacrifice trivial.'
'In little more than a year,' said Laura, 'I shall perhaps ask some
proofs of the influence you ascribe to me; but till then'--
'Long, long before that time,' cried Hargrave, striking his forehead in
agony, 'you will be lost to me for ever,' and he paced the room in
seeming despair. Laura looked at him with a pity not unmixed with
surprise. 'Hear me for a moment,' said she, with the soothing voice and
gentle aspect, which had always the mastery of Hargrave's feelings, and
he was instantly at her side, listening with eagerness to every tone
that she uttered, intent on every variation of her countenance.
'There are circumstances,' she continued, her transparent cheek glowing
with bright beauty, tears in her downcast eyes trembling through the
silken lashes--'There are circumstances that may change me, but time and
absence are not of the number. Be but true to yourself, and you have
nothing to fear. After this assurance, I trust it will give you little
pain to hear that, till the stipulated two years are ended, if we are to
meet, it must not be without witnesses.'
'Good Heavens! Laura, why this new, this intolerable restriction--What
can induce you thus wilfully to torment me?'
'Because,' answered the blushing Laura, with all her natural simplicity,
'because I might not always be able to listen to reason and duty rather
than to you.'
'Oh that I could fill thee with a love that should for ever silence the
cold voice of reason!' cried Hargrave, transported by her confession;
and, no longer master of himself, he would have clasped her in his arms.
But Laura, to whose mind his caresses ever recalled a dark page in her
story, recoiled as from pollution, the glow of ingenuous modesty giving
place to the paleness of terror.
No words envenomed with the bitterest malice, could have stung Hargrave
to such frenzy as the look and the shudder with which Laura drew back
from his embrace. His eyes flashing fire, his pale lips quivering with
passion, he reproached her with perfidy and deceit; accused her of
veiling her real aversion under the mask of prudence and principle; and
execrated his own folly in submitting so long to be the sport of a
cold-hearted, tyrannical, obdurate woman. Laura stood for some minutes
gazing on him with calm compassion. But displeased at his groundless
accusations, she disdained to soothe his rage. At last, wearied of
language which, for the present, expressed much more of hatred than of
love, she quietly moved towards the door. 'I see you can be very calm,
Madam,' said Hargrave, stopping her, 'and I can be as calm as yourself,'
added he, with a smile like a moon-beam on a thunder cloud, making the
gloom more fearful.
'I hope you soon will be so,' replied Laura coldly. 'I am so now,' said
Hargrave, his voice half-choked with the effort to suppress his passion.
'I will but stay to take leave of your father, and then free you for
ever from one so odious to you.'
'That must be as you please, Sir,' said Laura, with spirit; 'but, for
the present, I must be excused from attending you.' She then retired to
her own chamber, which immediately adjoined the painting-room; and with
tears reflected on the faint prospects of happiness that remained for
the wife of a man whose passions were so ungovernable. Even the ardour
of his love, for which vanity would have found ready excuse in many a
female breast, was to Laura subject of unfeigned regret, as excluding
him from the dominion of better motives, and the pursuit of nobler ends.
Hargrave was no sooner left to himself than his fury began to evaporate.
In a few minutes he was perfectly collected, and the first act of his
returning reason was to upbraid him with his treatment of Laura. 'Is it
to be wondered that she shrinks from me,' said he, the tears of
self-reproach rising to his eyes, 'when I make her the sport of all my
frantic passions? But she shall never again have cause to complain of
me--let but her love this once excuse me, and henceforth I will treat
her with gentleness like her own.'
There is no time in the life of a man so tedious, as that which passes
between the resolution to repair a wrong, and the opportunity to make
the reparation. Hargrave wondered whether Laura would return to conduct
him to her father; feared that she would not--hoped that she
would--thought he heard her footstep--listened--sighed--and tried to
beguile the time by turning over her drawings.
Almost the first that met his eye, was a sketch of features well known
to him. He started and turned pale. He sought for a name upon the
reverse; there was none, and he again breathed more freely. 'This must
be accident,' said he; 'De Courcy is far from London--yet it is very
like;' and he longed more than ever for Laura's appearance. He sought
refuge from his impatience in a book which lay upon the table. It was
the Pleasures of Hope, and marked in many parts of the margins with a
pencil. One of the passages so marked was that which begins,
'Thy pencil traces on the lover's thought
'Some cottage home, from towns and toil remote,
'Where love and lore may claim alternate hours,' &c.
And Hargrave surrendered himself to the pleasing dream that Laura had
thought of him, while she approved the lines. 'Her name, written by her
own snowy fingers, may be here,' said he, and he turned to the
title-page, that he might press it, with a lover's folly, to his
lips--The title-page was inscribed with the name of Montague De Courcy.
The glance of the basilisk was not more powerful. Motionless he gazed on
the words, till all the fiends of jealousy taking possession of his
soul, he furiously dashed the book upon the ground 'False, false siren,'
he cried, 'is this the cause of all your coldness--your loathing?' And
without any wish but to exclude her for ever from his sight, he rushed
like a madman out of the house.
He darted forward, regardless of the snow that was falling on his
uncovered head, till it suddenly occurred to him that he would not
suffer her to triumph in the belief of having deceived him. 'No,' cried
he, 'I will once more see that deceitful face; reproach her with her
treachery; enjoy her confusion, and then spurn her from me for ever.'
He returned precipitately to the house; and, flying up stairs, saw
Laura, the traces of melancholy reflection on her countenance, waiting
for admission at her father's door. 'Madam', said he, in a voice
scarcely articulate, 'I must speak with you for a few minutes.' 'Not for
a moment, Sir,' said Laura, laying her hand upon the lock. 'Yes, by
Heaven, you shall hear me,' cried Hargrave; and rudely seizing her, he
forced her into the painting-room, and bolted the door.
'Answer me,' said he fiercely, 'how came that book into your
possession?' pointing to it as it still lay upon the floor. 'When have
you this infernal likeness? Speak!'
Laura looked at the drawing, then at the book, and at once understood
the cause of her lover's frenzy. Sincere compassion filled her heart;
yet she felt how unjust was the treatment which she received; and, with
calm dignity, said, 'I will answer all your questions, and then you will
judge whether you have deserved that I should do so.'
'Whom would not that face deceive?' said Hargrave, gnashing his teeth in
agony. 'Speak sorceress--tell me, if you dare, that this is not the
portrait of De Courcy--that he is not the lover for whom I am loathed
and spurned.'
'That is the portrait of De Courcy,' replied Laura, with the simple
majesty of truth. 'It is the sketch from which I finished a picture for
his sister. That book too is his,' and she stooped to lift it from the
ground. 'Touch not the vile thing,' cried Hargrave in a voice of
thunder. With quiet self-possession, Laura continued, 'Mr De Courcy's
father was, as you know, the friend of mine. Mr De Courcy himself was,
when an infant, known to my father; and they met, providentially met,
when we had great need of a considerate friend. That friend Mr De Courcy
was to us, and no selfish motive sullied his benevolence; for he is not,
nor ever was, nor, I trust, ever will be, known to me as a lover!'
The voice of sober truth had its effect upon Hargrave, and he said, more
composedly, 'Will you then give me your word, that De Courcy is not, nor
ever will be, dear to you?'
'No!' answered Laura, 'I will not say so, for he must be loved wherever
his virtues are known; but I have no regard for him that should disquiet
you. It is not such,' continued she, struggling with the rising
tears--'it is not such as would pardon outrage, and withstand neglect,
and humble itself before unjust aspersion.'
'Oh Laura,' said Hargrave, at once convinced and softened, 'I must
believe you, or my heart will burst.'
'I have a right to be believed,' returned Laura, endeavouring to rally
her spirits. 'Now, then, release me, after convincing me that the
passion of which you boast so much, is consistent with the most insolent
disrespect, the most unfounded suspicion.' But Hargrave was again at her
feet, exhausting every term of endearment, and breathing forth the most
fervent petitions for forgiveness.
Tears, which she could no longer suppress, now streamed down Laura's
cheeks, while she said, 'How could you suspect me of the baseness of
pretending a regard which I did not feel, of confirming engagements from
which my affections revolted!' Hargrave, half wild with the sight of her
tears, bitterly reproached himself with his injustice; vowed that he
believed her all perfection; that, with all a woman's tenderness, she
possessed the truth and purity of angels, and that, could she this once
pardon his extravagance, he would never more offend. But Laura, vexed
and ashamed of her weakness, insisted on her release in a tone that
would be obeyed, and Hargrave, too much humbled to be daring,
unwillingly suffered her to retire.
In the faint hope of seeing her again, he waited till Montreville was
ready to admit him; but Laura was not with her father, nor did she
appear during the remainder of his visit. Desirous to know in what light
she had represented their affair, in order that his statement might
tally with hers, he again avoided the subject, resolving that next day
he should be better prepared to enter upon it. With this view, he
returned to Montreville's lodgings early in the next forenoon, hoping
for an opportunity to consult with Laura before seeing her father. He
was shewn into the parlour, which was vacant. He waited long, but Laura
came not. He sent a message to beg that she would admit him, and was
answered that she was sorry it was not in her power. He desired the
messenger to say that his business was important, but was told that Miss
Montreville was particularly engaged. However impatient, he was obliged
to submit. He again saw Montreville without entering upon the subject so
near his heart; and left the house without obtaining even a glimpse of
Laura.
The following day he was equally unsuccessful. He indeed saw Laura; but
it was only in the presence of her father, and she gave him no
opportunity of addressing her particularly. Finding that she adhered to
the resolution she had expressed, of seeing him no more without
witnesses, he wrote to her, warmly remonstrating against the barbarity
of her determination, and beseeching her to depart from it, if only in a
single instance. The billet received no answer, and Laura continued to
act as before.
Fretted almost to fever, Hargrave filled whole pages with the
description of his uneasiness, and complaints of the cruelty which
caused it. In conclusion, he assured Laura that he could no longer
refrain from confiding his situation to her father; and entreated to see
her, were it only to learn in what terms she would permit him to mention
their engagement. This letter was rather more successful than the
former; for, though Laura made no reply to the first part, she answered
the close by a few cautious lines, leaving Hargrave, excepting in one
point, at full liberty as to his communications with her father.
Thus authorized, he seized the first opportunity of conversing with
Montreville. He informed him that he had reason to believe himself not
indifferent to Laura; but that, some of his little irregularities coming
to her knowledge, she had sentenced him to a probation which was yet to
continue for above a year. Though Hargrave guarded his words so as to
avoid direct falsehood, the conscious crimson rose to his face as he
uttered this subterfuge. But he took instant refuge in the idea that he
had no choice left; and that, if there was any blame, it in fact
belonged to Laura, for forcing him to use concealment. He did yet more.
He erected his head, and planted his foot more firmly, as he thought,
that what he dared to do he dared to justify, were he not proud to yield
to the commands of love, and humanely inclined to spare the feelings of
a sick man. He proceeded to assure Montreville, that though he must
plead guilty to a few youthful indiscretions, Laura might rely upon his
constancy and fidelity. Finally, addressing himself to what he conceived
to be the predominant failing of age, he offered to leave the grand
affair of settlements to Montreville's own decision; demanding only in
return, that the father would use his interest, or even his authority,
if necessary, to obtain his daughter's consent to an immediate union.
Montreville answered, that he had long desisted from the use of
authority with Laura, but that his influence was at the Colonel's
service; and he added, with a smile, that he believed that neither would
be very necessary.
In consequence of this promise, Montreville sought an opportunity of
conversing on this subject with his daughter; but she shewed such
extreme reluctance to enter upon it, and avoided it with such sedulous
care, that he could not immediately execute his design. He observed,
too, that she looked ill, that she was pale and languid. Though she
would not confess any ailment, he could not help fearing that all was
not right; and he waited the appearance of recovered strength, ere he
should enter on a topic which was never heard by her without strong
emotion. But Laura looked daily more wretched. Her complexion became
wan, her eyes sunk, and her lips colourless.
Hargrave observed the change, and, half persuaded that it was the effect
of his own capricious behaviour at their last interview, he became more
anxious for a private conference, in which his tenderness might sooth
her to forgetfulness of his errors. When she was quitting the room, he
often followed her to the door, and entreated to be heard for a single
moment. But the utmost he could obtain was a determined 'I cannot,' or a
hasty 'I dare not,' and in an instant she had vanished.
Indeed watching and abstinence, though the chief, were not the only
causes of Laura's sickly aspect. Hargrave's violence had furnished her
with new and painful subjects of meditation. While yet she thought him
all perfection, he had often confessed to her the warmth of his temper,
with a candour which convinced her (anxious as she was to be so
convinced) that he was conscious of his natural tendency, and vigilantly
guarded it from excess; consequently, that to the energy of the
passionate he united the justice of the cool. She had never witnessed
any instance of his violence; for since their first acquaintance, she
had herself, at least while she was present, been his only passion. All
things unconnected with it were trivial in his estimation; and till the
hour which had roused her caution, she had unconsciously soothed this
tyrant of his soul with perpetual incense, by proofs of her tenderness,
which, though unobserved by others, were not lost upon the vanity of
Hargrave. Successful love shedding a placid gentleness upon his really
polished manners, he had, without intention to deceive, completely
misled Laura's judgment of his character. Now he had turned her eyes
from the vision, and compelled her to look upon the reality; and with
many a bitter tear she lamented that ever she suffered her peace to
depend upon an union which, even if accomplished, promised to compensate
transient rapture with abiding disquiet.
But still fondly attached, Laura took pleasure in persuading herself
that a mere defect of temper was not such a fault as entitled her to
withdraw her promise; and having made this concession, she soon
proceeded to convince herself, that Hargrave's love would make ample
amends for occasional suffering, however severe. Still she assured
herself that if, at the stipulated time, he produced not proofs of real
improvement, much more if that period were stained with actual vice, she
would, whatever it might cost her, see him no more. She determined to
let nothing move her to shorten his probation, nor to be satisfied
without the strictest scrutiny into the manner in which it had been
spent.
Aware of the difficulty of withstanding the imploring voice, the
pleading eyes of Hargrave, she would not venture into temptation for the
mere chance of escape; and adhered to her resolution of affording him no
opportunity to practise on her sensibility. Nor was this a slight
exercise of self-denial, for no earthly pleasure could bring such joy to
Laura's heart, as the assurance, however oft repeated, that she was
beloved. Yet, day after day, she withstood his wishes, and her own; and
generally spent the time of his visits in drawing.
Meanwhile, her delicate face and slender form gave daily greater
indications of malady. Montreville, utterly alarmed, insisted upon
sending for medical advice; but Laura, with a vehemence most unusual to
her, opposed this design, telling him, that if he persisted in it,
vexation would cause the reality of the illness which at present was
merely imaginary.
The Captain was however the only member of the family who did not
conjecture the true cause of Laura's decay. The servant who attended
her, reported to her mistress, that the slender repast was always
presented, untouched by Laura, to her father; that her drink was only
water, her fare coarse and scanty; and that often, a few morsels of dry
bread were the only sustenance of the day. Mrs Stubbs, who entertained a
suitable contempt for poverty, was no sooner informed of these
circumstances, than she recollected with indignation the awe with which
Laura had involuntarily inspired her; and determined to withdraw part of
her misplaced respect. But Laura had an air of command, a quiet majesty
of demeanour, that seemed destined to distance vulgar impertinence; and
Mrs Stubbs was compelled to continue her unwilling reverence.
Determined, however, that though her pride might suffer, her interest
should not, she dropped such hints as induced Laura to offer the payment
of the lodgings a week in advance, an offer which was immediately
accepted.
In spite of Laura's utmost diligence, this arrangement left her almost
pennyless. She was obliged, in that inclement season, to give up even
the comfort of a fire; and more than once passed the whole night in
labouring to supply the wants of the following day.
In the meantime, Hargrave continued to pay his daily visits, and Laura
to frustrate all his attempts to speak with her apart. His patience was
entirely exhausted. He urged Montreville to the performance of his
promise, and Montreville often approached the subject with his daughter,
but she either evaded it, or begged with such pathetic earnestness to be
spared a contest which she was unable to bear, that, when he looked on
the sickly delicacy of her frame, he had not courage to persecute her
further. Convinced, however, that Laura's affections were completely
engaged, he became daily more anxious that she should not sacrifice them
to what he considered as mistaken prudence; especially since Hargrave
had dropped a hint, which, though not so intended, had appeared to
Montreville to import, that his addresses, if rejected in the present
instance, would not be renewed at the distant date to which Laura chose
to postpone them.
The father's constant anxiety for the health and happiness of his child
powerfully affected both his strength and spirits; and he was soon more
languid and feeble than ever. His imagination, too, betrayed increased
symptoms of its former disease, and he became more persuaded that he was
dying. The selfishness of a feeble mind attended his ailments, and he
grew less tender of his daughter's feelings, less fearful to wound her
sensibility. To hints of his apprehensions for his own life, succeeded
direct intimations of his conviction that his end was approaching; and
Laura listened, with every gradation of terror, to prophetic forebodings
of the solitude, want, and temptation, to which she must soon be
abandoned.
Pressed by Hargrave's importunities, and weary of waiting for a
voluntary change in Laura's conduct towards her lover, Montreville at
last resolved that he would force the subject which she was so anxious
to shun. For this purpose, detaining her one morning in his apartment,
he entered on a melancholy description of the perils which await
unprotected youth and beauty; and explicitly declared his conviction,
that to these perils he must soon leave his child. Laura endeavoured, as
she was wont, to brighten his dark imagination, and to revive his
fainting hope. But Montreville would now neither suffer her to enliven
her prospects, nor to divert him from the contemplation of them. He
persisted in giving way to his dismal anticipations, till, spite of her
efforts, Laura's spirits failed her, and she could scarcely refrain from
shedding tears.
Montreville saw that she was affected; and fondly putting his arm round
her, continued, 'Yet still, my sweet Laura, you, who have been the pride
of my life, you can soften to me the bitterness of death. Let me but
commit you to the affection of the man whom I know that you prefer, and
my fears and wishes shall linger no more in this nether world.'
'Oh Sir,' said Laura, 'I beseech, I implore you to spare me on this
subject.' 'No!' answered Montreville, 'I have been silent too long. I
have too long endangered your happiness, in the dread of giving you
transient pain. I must recur to'--
'My dear father,' interrupted Laura, 'I have already spoken to you on
this subject--spoken to you with a freedom which I know not where I
found courage to assume. I can only repeat the same sentiments; and
indeed, indeed, unless you were yourself in my situation, you cannot
imagine with what pain I repeat them.'
'I would willingly respect your delicacy,' said Montreville, 'but this
is no time for frivolous scruples. I must soon leave thee, child of my
affections! My eyes must watch over thee no more; my ear must be closed
to the voice of thy complaining. Oh then, give me the comfort to know
that other love will console, other arms protect thee.'
'Long, long,' cried Laura, clasping his neck, 'be your affection my
joy--long be your arms my shelter. But alas! what love could console me
under the sense of acting wrong--what could protect me from an avenging
conscience?'
'Laura, you carry your scruples too far. When I look on these wan cheeks
and lustreless eyes, you cannot conceal from me that you are sacrificing
to these scruples your own peace, as well as that of others.'
'Ah Sir,' said Laura, who from mere despair of escape, gathered courage
to pursue the subject, 'What peace can I hope to find in a connexion
which reason and religion alike condemn?'
'That these have from childhood been your guides, has ever been my joy
and my pride,' returned Montreville. 'But in this instance you forge
shackles for yourself, and then call them the restraints of reason and
religion. It were absurd to argue on the reasonableness of preferring
wealth and title, with the man of your choice, to a solitary struggle
with poverty, or a humbling dependence upon strangers. And how, my dear
girl, can any precept of religion be tortured into a restriction on the
freedom of your choice?'
'Pardon me, Sir, the law which I endeavour to make my guide is here full
and explicit. In express terms it leaves me free to marry whom I will,
but with this grand reservation, that I marry "only in the Lord." It
cannot be thought that this limitation refers only to a careless assent
to the truth of the Gospel, shedding no purifying influence on the heart
and life. And can I hope for happiness in a wilful defiance of this
restriction?'
'If I could doubt,' said Montreville, avoiding a reply to what was
unanswerable--'if I could doubt that a union with Colonel Hargrave would
conduce to your happiness, never should I thus urge you. But I have no
reason to believe that his religious principles are unsound, though the
follies incident to his sex, and the frailty of human nature, may have
prevailed against him.'
'My dear Sir,' cried Laura impatiently, 'how can you employ such
qualifying language to express--what my soul sickens at. How can my
father urge his child to join to pollution this temple, (and she laid
her hand emphatically on her breast) which my great master has offered
to hallow as his own abode? No! the express command of Heaven forbids
the sacrilege, for I cannot suppose that when man was forbidden to
degrade himself by a union with vileness, the precept was meant to
exclude the sex whose feebler passions afford less plea for yielding to
their power.'
'Whither does this enthusiasm hurry you?' said Montreville, in
displeasure. 'Surely you will not call your marriage with Colonel
Hargrave a union with vileness.' 'Yes,' returned Laura, all the glow of
virtuous animation fading to the paleness of anguish, 'if his vices make
him vile, I must call it so.'
'Your language is much too free, Laura, as your notions are too rigid.
Is it dutiful, think you, to use such expressions in regard to a
connexion which your father approves? Will you call it virtue to sport
with your own happiness, with the peace of a heart that doats upon
you--with the comfort of your dying parent?'
'Oh my father,' cried Laura, sinking on her knees, 'my spirit is already
bowed to the earth--do not crush it with your displeasure. Rather
support my feeble resolution, lest, knowing the right, I should not have
power to choose it.'
'My heart's treasure,' said Montreville, kissing the tears from her
eyes, 'short ever is my displeasure with thee: for I know that though
inexperience may mislead thy judgment, no pleasure can bribe, no fear
betray thy inflexible rectitude. Go on then--convince me if thou canst,
that thou art in the right to choose thy portion amidst self-denial, and
obscurity, and dependence.'
'Would that I were able to convince you,' returned Laura, 'and then you
would no longer add to the difficulties of this fearful struggle. Tell
me then, were Colonel Hargrave your son, and were I what I cannot name,
could any passion excuse, any circumstances induce you to sanction the
connexion for which you now plead?'
'My dear love,' said Montreville, 'the cases are widely different. The
world's opinion affixes just disgrace to the vices in your sex, which in
ours it views with more indulgent eyes.' 'But I,' returned Laura, 'when
I took upon me the honoured name of Christian, by that very act became
bound that the opinion of the world should not regulate my principles,
nor its customs guide my practice. Perhaps even the worst of my sex
might plead that the voice of a tempter lured them to perdition; but
what tongue can speak the vileness of that tempter!--Could I promise to
_obey_ him who wilfully leads others to their ruin! Could I _honour_ him
who deceives the heart that trusteth in him! Could I _love_ him who
could look upon a fellow creature--once the image of the highest, now
humbled below the brutes that perish--upon the heir of immortality,
immortal only to misery, and who could, unmoved, unpitying, seek in the
fallen wretch a minister of pleasure!--Love!' continued Laura,
forgetting in the deformity of the hideous image that it was capable of
individual application, 'words cannot express the energy of my
abhorrence!'
'Were Hargrave such--or to continue such'--said Montreville--'Hargrave!'
cried Laura, almost with a shriek, 'Oh God forbid--And yet'--She covered
her face with her hands, and cold drops stood on her forehead, as she
remembered how just cause she had to dread that the portrait might be
his.
'Hargrave,' continued Montreville, 'is not an abandoned profligate,
though he may not have escaped the follies usual to men of his rank; and
he has promised, if you will be favourable to him, to live henceforward
in irreproachable purity. Heaven forgives the sins that are forsaken,
and will you be less lenient?'
'Joyfully will I forgive,' replied Laura, 'when I am assured that they
are indeed abhorred and forsaken'--'They are already forsaken,' said
Montreville; 'it rests with you to confirm Hargrave in the right, by
consenting to his wishes.'
'I ask but the conviction which time alone can bring,' said Laura, 'and
then'--
'And how will you bear it, Laura, if, weary of your perverse delays,
Hargrave should relinquish his suit? How would you bear to see the
affections you have trifled with transferred to another?'
'Better, far better,' answered Laura, 'than to watch the deepening of
those shades of iniquity, that close at last into outer darkness: better
than to see each guilty day advance and seal our eternal separation. To
lose his affection,' continued she with a sickly smile, 'I would bear as
I strive to bear my other burdens; and should they at last prove too
heavy for me, they can but weigh me to the earth, where they and I must
soon rest together.'
'Talk not so, beloved child,' said Montreville, 'a long life is before
you. All the joys that ambition, all the joys that love can offer, are
within your power. A father invites, implores, I will not say commands,
you to accept them. The man of your choice, to whom the proudest might
aspire, whom the coldest of your sex might love, entreats you to confirm
him in the ways of virtue. Consent then to this union, on which my heart
is set, while yet it can be hallowed by the blessing of your dying
father.'
'Oh take pity on me,' Laura would have said, and 'league not with my
weak heart to betray me,' but convulsive sobs were all that she could
utter. 'You consent then,' said Montreville, choosing so to interpret
her silence--'you have yielded to my entreaties, and made me the
happiest of fathers.' 'No! no!' cried Laura, tossing her arms
distractedly, 'I will do right though my heart should break. No, my
father, my dear honoured father, for whom I would lay down my life, not
even your entreaties shall prevail.'
'Ungrateful child,' said Montreville; 'what could you have pleaded for,
that your father would have refused--your father whom anxiety for your
welfare has brought to the gates of the grave, whose last feeling shall
be love to you, whose last words shall bless you.'
'Oh most merciful, most gracious,' cried Laura, clasping her hands, and
raising her eyes in resigned anguish, 'wilt thou suffer me to be tempted
above what I am able to bear! Oh my dear father, if you have pity for
misery unutterable, misery that cannot know relief, spare me now, and
suffer me to think--if to think be yet possible.'
'Hear me but for one moment more,' said Montreville, who from the
violence of her emotion gathered hopes of success. 'Oh no! no!' cried
Laura, 'I must leave you while yet I have the power to do right.' And,
darting from his presence, she shut herself into her chamber. There,
falling on her knees, she mingled bitter expressions of anguish, with
fervent prayers for support, and piteous appeals for mercy.
Becoming by degrees more composed, she endeavoured to fortify her
resolution by every argument of reason and religion which had formerly
guided her determination. She turned to the passages of Scripture which
forbid the unequal yoke with the unbeliever; convinced that the
prohibition applies no less to those whose lives are unchristian, than
to those whose faith is unsound. She asked herself whether she was able
to support those trials (the severest of all earthly ones,) which the
wife of a libertine must undergo; and whether, in temptations which she
voluntarily sought, and sorrows which she of choice encountered, she
should be entitled to expect the divine support. 'Holy Father,' she
cried, 'what peace can enter where thy blessing is withheld! and shall I
dare to mock thee with a petition for that blessing on a union which
thou has forbidden! May I not rather fear that this deliberate
premeditated guilt may be the first step in a race of iniquity! May I
not dread to share in the awful sentence of those who are joined to
their idols, and be "let alone" to wander in the way that leadeth to
destruction?'
Yet, as oft as her father's entreaties rose to her recollection, joined
with the image of Hargrave--of Hargrave beseeching, of Hargrave
impassioned--Laura's resolution faltered; and half-desirous to deceive
herself, she almost doubted of the virtue of that firmness that could
withstand a parent's wish. But Laura was habitually suspicious of every
opinion that favoured her inclinations, habitually aware of the
deceitfulness of her own heart; and she did not, unquestioned, harbour
for a moment the insidious thought that flattered her strongest wishes.
'And had my father commended me to marry where I was averse,' said she,
'would I then have hesitated? Would my father's command have prevailed
on me then to undertake duties which I was unlikely to perform? No:
there I would have resisted. There, authority greater than a father's
would have empowered me to resist; and I know that I should have
resisted even unto death. And shall mere inclination give more firmness
than a sense of duty! Yet, Oh dear father, think me not unmindful of all
your love--or forgetful of a debt that began with my being. For your
sake cold and hunger shall be light to me--for you poverty and toil
shall be pleasing. But what solitary sorrow could equal the pang with
which I should blush before my children for the vices of their father!
What is the wasting of famine to the mortal anguish of watching the
declining love, the transferred desires, the growing depravity of my
husband!'
In thoughts and struggles like these, Laura passed the day alone.
Montreville, though disappointed at his ill success with his daughter,
was not without hope that a lover's prayers might prevail where a
father's were ineffectual; and believing that the season of Laura's
emotion was a favourable one for the attempt, he was anxious for the
daily visit of Hargrave.
But, for the first time since his meeting with Laura, Hargrave did not
appear. In her present frame, Laura felt his absence almost a relief;
but Montreville was uneasy and half alarmed. It was late in the evening
when a violent knocking at the house door startled Montreville, who was
alone in his apartment; and the next minute, without being announced,
Hargrave burst into the room. His hair was dishevelled, his dress
neglected, and his eyes had a wildness which Montreville had never
before seen in them. Abruptly grasping Montreville's hand, he said, in a
voice of one struggling for composure, 'Have you performed your
promise--have you spoken with Laura?'
'I have,' answered Montreville; 'and have urged her, till, had you seen
her, you would yourself have owned that I went too far. But you look'--
'Has she consented,' interrupted Hargrave--'will she give herself to
me?'
Montreville shook his head. 'Her affections are wholly yours,' said he,
'you may yourself be more successful--I fervently wish that you may. But
why this strange emotion? What has happened?'
'Nothing, nothing,' said Hargrave, 'ask me no questions; but let me
speak instantly with Laura.'
'You shall see her,' returned Montreville, opening the door, and calling
Laura, 'Only I beseech you to command yourself, for my poor child is
already half distracted.' 'She is the fitter to converse with me,' said
Hargrave, with a ghastly smile, 'for I am upon the very verge of
madness.'
Laura came at her father's summons; but when she saw Hargrave, the
colour faded from her face, an universal tremour seized her, she
stopped, and leaned on the door for support. 'Colonel Hargrave wishes to
speak with you alone,' said Montreville, 'go with him to the parlour.'
'I cannot,' answered Laura, in words scarcely audible--'this night I
cannot.'
'I command you to go,' said the father in a tone which he had seldom
employed, and Laura instantly prepared to go. 'Surely, surely,' said
she, 'Heaven will not leave me to my own weakness, whilst I act in
obedience to you.'
Perceiving that she trembled violently, Hargrave offered her the support
of his circling arm; but Laura instantly disengaged herself. 'Will you
not lean on me, dearest Laura,' said he; 'perhaps it is for the last
time.'
'I hope,' answered Laura, endeavouring to exert her spirit, 'it will be
the last time that you will avail yourself of my father's authority to
constrain me.'
'Spare me your reproaches, Laura,' said Hargrave, 'for I am desperate.
All that I desire on earth--my life itself depends upon this hour.'
They entered the parlour, and Laura, sinking into a seat, covered her
eyes with her hand, and strove to prepare for answering this new call
upon her firmness.
Hargrave stood silent for some moments. Fain would he have framed a
resistless petition; for the events of that day had hastened the
unravelling of a tale which, once known to Laura, would, he knew, make
all his petitions vain. But his impatient spirit could not wait to
conciliate; and, seizing her hand, he said, with breathless eagerness,
'Laura, you once said that you loved me, and I believed you. Now to the
proof--and if that fail--But I will not distract myself with the
thought. You have allowed me a distant hope. Recall your sentence of
delay. Circumstances which you cannot--must not know, leave you but one
alternative. Be mine now, or you are for ever lost to me.'
Astonished at his words, alarmed by the ill-suppressed vehemence of his
manner, Laura tried to read his altered countenance, and feared she knew
not what. 'Tell me what you mean?' said she. 'What mean these strange
words--these wild looks. Why have you come at this late hour?'
'Ask me nothing,' cried Hargrave, 'but decide. Speak. Will you be
mine--now--to-morrow--within a few hours. Soon, very soon, it will be no
longer possible for you to choose.'
A hectic of resentment kindled in Laura's cheek at the threat of
desertion which she imagined to lurk beneath the words of Hargrave. 'You
have,' said she, 'I know not how, extended my conditional promise to
receive you as a friend far beyond what the terms of it could warrant.
In making even such an engagement, perhaps I condescended too far. But,
admitting it in your own sense, what right have you to suppose that I
am to be weakly terrified into renouncing a resolution formed on the
best grounds?'
'I have no right to expect it,' said Hargrave, in a voice of misery. 'I
came to you in desperation. I cannot--will not survive the loss of you;
and if I prevail not now, you must be lost to me.'
'What means this strange, this presuming haste?' said Laura. 'Why do you
seem thus wretched?'
'I am, indeed, most wretched. Oh Laura, thus on my knees I conjure you
to have pity on me;--or, if it will cost you a pang to lose me, have
pity on yourself. And if thy love be too feeble to bend thy stubborn
will, let a father's wishes, a father's prayers, come to its aid.'
'Oh Hargrave,' cried Laura, bursting into tears, 'how have I deserved
that you should lay on me this heavy load--that you should force me to
resist the entreaties of my father.'
'Do not--Oh do not resist them. Let a father's prayers--let the
pleadings of a wretch whose reason, whose life depends upon you, prevail
to move you.'
'Nothing shall move me,' said Laura, with the firmness of despair, 'for
I am used to misery, and will bear it.'
'And will you bear it too if driven from virtuous love--from domestic
joy, I turn to the bought smile of harlots, forget you in the haunts of
riot, or in the grave of a suicide?'
'Oh for mercy,' cried the terrified Laura, 'talk not so dreadfully. Be
patient--I implore you. Fear not to lose me. Be but virtuous, and no
power of man shall wrest me from you. In poverty--in sickness--in
disgrace itself I will cleave to you.'
'Oh, I believe it,' said Hargrave, moved even to woman's weakness, 'for
thou art an angel. But wilt though cleave to me in--'
'In what', said Laura.
'Ask me nothing--but yield to my earnest entreaty. Save me from the
horrors of losing you; and may Heaven forsake me if ever again I give
you cause to repent of your pity.'
Softened by his imploring looks and gestures, overpowered by his
vehemence, harassed beyond her strength, Laura seemed almost expiring.
But the upright spirit shared not the weakness of its frail abode.
'Cease to importune me,' said she;--'everlasting were my cause of
repentance, should I wilfully do wrong. You may break my heart--it is
already broken, but my resolution is immoveable.'
Fire flashed from the eyes of Hargrave; as, starting from her feet, he
cried, in a voice of frenzy, 'Ungrateful woman, you have never loved
me! You love nothing but the fancied virtue to which I am sacrificed.
But tremble, obdurate, lest I dash from me this hated life, and my
perdition be on your soul!'
'Oh no,' cried Laura, in an agony of terror, 'I will pray for you--pity
you,--what shall I say--love you as never man was loved. Would that it
were possible to do more!'
'Speak then your final rejection,' said Hargrave, grasping her hand with
convulsive energy; 'and abide by the consequence.' 'I must not fear
consequences,' said Laura, trembling in every limb. 'They are in the
hands of Heaven.' 'Then be this first fond parting kiss our last!' cried
Hargrave, and frantickly straining her to his breast, he rushed out of
the room.
Surprise, confusion, a thousand various feelings kept Laura for a while
motionless; till, Hargrave's parting words ringing in her ears, a
dreadful apprehension took possession of her mind. Starting from her
seat, and following him with her arms as if she could still have
detained him, 'Oh Hargrave, what mean you?' she cried. But Hargrave was
already beyond the reach of her voice; and, sinking to the ground, the
wretched Laura found refuge from her misery in long and deep
insensibility.
In the attitude in which she had fallen, her lily arms extended on the
ground, her death-like cheek resting upon one of them, she was found by
a servant who accidentally entered the room, and whose cries soon
assembled the family. Montreville alarmed hastened down stairs, and came
in just as the maid with the assistance of the landlady was raising
Laura, to all appearance dead.
'Merciful Heaven!' he exclaimed, 'what is this?' The unfeeling landlady
immediately expressed her opinion that Miss Montreville had died of
famine, declaring that she had long feared as much. The horror-struck
father had scarcely power to ask her meaning. 'Oh Sir,' said the maid,
sobbing aloud, 'I fear it is but too true--for she cared not for
herself, so you were but well--for she was the sweetest lady that ever
was born--and many a long night has she sat up toiling when the poorest
creature was asleep--for she never cared for herself.'
The whole truth flashed at once upon Montreville, and all the storm,
from which his dutiful child so well had sheltered him, burst upon him
in a moment. 'Oh Laura,' he cried, clasping her lifeless form, 'my only
comfort--my good--my gentle--my blameless child, has thou nourished thy
father with thy life! Oh why didst thou not let me die!' Then laying
his cheek to hers, 'Oh she is cold--cold as clay,' he cried, and the old
man wrung his hands, and sobbed like an infant.
Suddenly he ceased his lamentation; and pressing his hands upon his
breast, uttered a deep groan, and sunk down by the side of his senseless
child. His alarm and agitation burst again the blood-vessel, which
before had been slightly healed, and he was conveyed to bed without hope
of life. A surgeon was immediately found, but he administered his
prescription without expecting its success; and, departing, left the
dying Montreville to the care of the landlady.
The tender-hearted Fanny remained with Laura, and at last succeeded in
restoring her to animation. She then persuaded her to swallow a little
wine, and endeavoured to prevail upon her to retire to bed. But Laura
refused. 'No, my kind, good girl,' said she, laying her arm gratefully
on Fanny's shoulder. 'I must see my father before I sleep. I have
thwarted his will today, and will not sleep without his blessing.' Fanny
then besought her so earnestly not to go to the Captain's chamber, that
Laura, filled as every thought was with Hargrave, took alarm, and would
not be detained. The girl, dreading the consequences of the shock that
awaited her, threw her arms round her to prevent her departure. 'Let me
go,' cried Laura, struggling with her. 'He is ill; I am sure he is ill,
or he would have come to watch and comfort his wretched child.'
Fanny then, with all the gentleness in her power, informed Laura that
Montreville, alarmed by the sight of her fainting, had been suddenly
taken ill. Laura, in terror which effaced the remembrance of all her
former anguish, scarcely suffered her attendant to finish her relation;
but broke from her, and hurried as fast as her tottering limbs would
bear her to her father's chamber.
Softly, on tiptoe, she stole to his bed-side, and drew the curtain. His
eyes were closed, and death seemed already stamped on every feature.
Laura shuddered convulsively, and shrunk back in horror. But the dread
of scaring the spirit from its frail tenement suppressed the cry that
was rising to her lips. Trembling she laid her hand upon his. He looked
up, and a gleam of joy brightened in his dying eyes as they rested on
his daughter. 'Laura, my beloved,' said he, drawing her gently towards
him, 'thou has been the joy of my life. I thank God that thou art spared
to comfort me in death.'
Laura tried to speak the words of hope; but the sounds died upon her
lips.
After a pause of dread silence, Montreville said, 'This is the hour when
thy father was wont to bless thee. Come, and I will bless thee still.'
The weeping Laura sank upon her knees, and Montreville laid one hand
upon her hand, while she still held the other, as if wishing to detain
him. 'My best--my last blessing be upon thee, child of my heart,' said
he. 'The everlasting arms be around thee, when mine can embrace thee no
more. The Father of the fatherless be a parent to thee; support thee in
sorrow; crown thy youth with joy--thy gray hairs with honour; and, when
thou art summoned to thy kindred angels, may thy heart throb its last on
some breast kind and noble as thine own.'
Exhausted by the effort which he had made, Montreville sunk back on his
pillow; and Laura, in agony of supplication, besought Heaven to spare
him to her. 'Father of mercies!' she inwardly ejaculated, 'if it be
possible, save me, oh save me from this fearful stroke,--or take me in
pity from this desolate wilderness to the rest of thy chosen.'
The dead of night came on, and all but the wretched Laura was still.
Montreville breathed softly. Laura thought he slept, and stifled even
her sighs, lest they should wake him. In the stillness of the dead, but
in agony of suspence that baffles description, she continued to kneel by
his bed-side, and to return his relaxing grasp, till she felt a gentle
pressure of her hand, and looked up to interpret the gesture. It was the
last expression of a father's love. Montreville was gone!