The night drave on wi’ sangs and clatter,
And aye the ale was growing better
Tam o’Shanter.
We must now return to Woodbourne, which, it may be remembered, we left
just after the Colonel had given some directions to his confidential
servant. When he returned, his absence of mind, and an unusual expression
of thought and anxiety upon his features, struck the ladies, whom he
joined in the drawing-room. Mannering was not, however, a man to be
questioned, even by those whom he most loved, upon the cause of the
mental agitation which these signs expressed. The hour of tea arrived,
and the party were partaking of that refreshment in silence when a
carriage drove up to the door, and the bell announced the arrival of a
visitor. ‘Surely,’ said Mannering, ‘it is too soon by some hours.’
There was a short pause, when Barnes, opening the door of the saloon,
announced Mr. Pleydell. In marched the lawyer, whose well-brushed black
coat and well-powdered wig, together with his point ruffles, brown silk
stockings, highly-varnished shoes, and gold buckles, exhibited the pains
which the old gentleman had taken to prepare his person for the ladies’
society. He was welcomed by Mannering with a hearty shake by the hand.
‘The very man I wished to see at this moment!’
‘Yes,’ said the Counsellor, ‘I told you I would take the first
opportunity; so I have ventured to leave the court for a week in session
time--no common sacrifice; but I had a notion I could be useful, and I
was to attend a proof here about the same time. But will you not
introduce me to the young ladies? Ah! there is one I should have known at
once from her family likeness! Miss Lucy Bertram, my love, I am most
happy to see you.’ And he folded her in his arms, and gave her a hearty
kiss on each side of the face, to which Lucy submitted in blushing
resignation.
‘On n’arrete pas dans un si beau chemin,’ continued the gay old
gentleman, and, as the Colonel presented him to Julia, took the same
liberty with that fair lady’s cheek. Julia laughed, coloured, and
disengaged herself. ‘I beg a thousand pardons,’ said the lawyer, with a
bow which was not at all professionally awkward; ‘age and old fashions
give privileges, and I can hardly say whether I am most sorry just now at
being too well entitled to claim them at all, or happy in having such an
opportunity to exercise them so agreeably.’
‘Upon my word, sir,’ said Miss Mannering, laughing, ‘if you make such
flattering apologies we shall begin to doubt whether we can admit you to
shelter yourself under your alleged qualifications.’
‘I can assure you, Julia,’ said the Colonel, ‘you are perfectly right. My
friend the Counsellor is a dangerous person; the last time I had the
pleasure of seeing him he was closeted with a fair lady who had granted
him a tete-a-tete at eight in the morning.’
‘Ay, but, Colonel,’ said the Counsellor, ‘you should add, I was more
indebted to my chocolate than my charms for so distinguished a favour
from a person of such propriety of demeanour as Mrs. Rebecca.’
‘And that should remind me, Mr. Pleydell,’ said Julia, ‘to offer you tea;
that is, supposing you have dined.’
‘Anything, Miss Mannering, from your hands,’ answered the gallant
jurisconsult; ‘yes, I have dined; that is to say, as people dine at a
Scotch inn.’
‘And that is indifferently enough,’ said the Colonel, with his hand upon
the bell-handle; ‘give me leave to order something.’
‘Why, to say truth, ‘replied Mr. Pleydell, ‘I had rather not. I have been
inquiring into that matter, for you must know I stopped an instant below
to pull off my boot-hose, “a world too wide for my shrunk shanks,”’
glancing down with some complacency upon limbs which looked very well for
his time of life, ‘and I had some conversation with your Barnes and a
very intelligent person whom I presume to be the housekeeper; and it was
settled among us, tota re perspecta,--I beg Miss Mannering’s pardon for
my Latin,--that the old lady should add to your light family supper the
more substantial refreshment of a brace of wild ducks. I told her (always
under deep submission) my poor thoughts about the sauce, which concurred
exactly with her own; and, if you please, I would rather wait till they
are ready before eating anything solid.’
‘And we will anticipate our usual hour of supper,’ said the Colonel.
‘With all my heart,’ said Pleydell, ‘providing I do not lose the ladies’
company a moment the sooner. I am of counsel with my old friend Burnet;
[Footnote: See Note 5] I love the coena, the supper of the ancients, the
pleasant meal and social glass that wash out of one’s mind the cobwebs
that business or gloom have been spinning in our brains all day.’
The vivacity of Mr. Pleydell’s look and manner, and the quietness with
which he made himself at home on the subject of his little epicurean
comforts, amused the ladies, but particularly Miss Mannering, who
immediately gave the Counsellor a great deal of flattering attention; and
more pretty things were said on both sides during the service of the
tea-table than we have leisure to repeat.
As soon as this was over, Mannering led the Counsellor by the arm into a
small study which opened from the saloon, and where, according to the
custom of the family, there were always lights and a good fire in the
evening.
‘I see,’ said Mr. Pleydell, ‘you have got something to tell me about the
Ellangowan business. Is it terrestrial or celestial? What says my
military Albumazar? Have you calculated the course of futurity? have you
consulted your ephemerides, your almochoden, your almuten?’
‘No, truly, Counsellor,’ replied Mannering, ‘you are the only Ptolemy I
intend to resort to upon the present occasion. A second Prospero, I have
broken my staff and drowned my book far beyond plummet depth. But I have
great news notwithstanding. Meg Merrilies, our Egyptian sibyl, has
appeared to the Dominie this very day, and, as I conjecture, has
frightened the honest man not a little.’
‘Indeed?’
‘Ay, and she has done me the honour to open a correspondence with me,
supposing me to be as deep in astrological mysteries as when we first
met. Here is her scroll, delivered to me by the Dominie.’
Pleydell put on his spectacles. ‘A vile greasy scrawl, indeed; and the
letters are uncial or semi-uncial, as somebody calls your large text
hand, and in size and perpendicularity resemble the ribs of a roasted
pig; I can hardly make it out.’
‘Read aloud,’ said Mannering.
‘I will try,’ answered the Lawyer. ‘“YOU ARE A GOOD SEEKER, BUT A BAD
FINDER; YOU SET YOURSELF TO PROP A FALLING HOUSE, BUT HAD A GEY GUESS IT
WOULD RISE AGAIN. LEND YOUR HAND TO THE WORK THAT’S NEAR, AS YOU LENT
YOUR EE TO THE WEIRD THAT WAS FAR. HAVE A CARRIAGE THIS NIGHT BY TEN
O’CLOCK AT THE END OF THE CROOKED DYKES AT PORTANFERRY, AND LET IT BRING
THE FOLK TO WOODBOURNE THAT SHALL ASK THEM, IF THEY BE THERE IN GOD’S
NAME.”--Stay, here follows some poetry--
“DARK SHALL BE LIGHT,
AND WRONG DONE TO RIGHT,
WHEN BERTRAM’S RIGHT AND BERTRAM’S MIGHT
SHALL MEET ON ELLANGOWAN’S HEIGHT.”
A most mystic epistle truly, and closes in a vein of poetry worthy of the
Cumaean sibyl. And what have you done?’
‘Why,’ said Mannering, rather reluctantly, ‘I was loth to risk any
opportunity of throwing light on this business. The woman is perhaps
crazed, and these effusions may arise only from visions of her
imagination; but you were of opinion that she knew more of that strange
story than she ever told.’
‘And so,’ said Pleydell, ‘you sent a carriage to the place named?’
‘You will laugh at me if I own I did,’ replied the Colonel.
‘Who, I?’ replied the Advocate. ‘No, truly, I think it was the wisest
thing you could do.’
‘Yes,’ answered Mannering, well pleased to have escaped the ridicule he
apprehended; ‘you know the worst is paying the chaise-hire. I sent a
post-chaise and four from Kippletringan, with instructions corresponding
to the letter; the horses will have a long and cold station on the
outpost to-night if our intelligence be false.’
‘Ay, but I think it will prove otherwise,’ said the Lawyer. ‘This woman
has played a part till she believes it; or, if she be a thorough-paced
impostor, without a single grain of self-delusion to qualify her knavery,
still she may think herself bound to act in character; this I know, that
I could get nothing out of her by the common modes of interrogation, and
the wisest thing we can do is to give her an opportunity of making the
discovery her own way. And now have you more to say, or shall we go to
the ladies?’
‘Why, my mind is uncommonly agitated,’ answered the Colonel, ‘and--but I
really have no more to say; only I shall count the minutes till the
carriage returns; but you cannot be expected to be so anxious.’
‘Why, no; use is all in all,’ said the more experienced lawyer; ‘I am
much interested certainly, but I think I shall be able to survive the
interval, if the ladies will afford us some music.’
‘And with the assistance of the wild ducks, by and by?’ suggested
Mannering.
‘True, Colonel; a lawyer’s anxiety about the fate of the most interesting
cause has seldom spoiled either his sleep or digestion. [Footnote: See
Note 6.] And yet I shall be very eager to hear the rattle of these wheels
on their return, notwithstanding.’
So saying, he rose and led the way into the next room, where Miss
Mannering, at his request, took her seat at the harpsichord, Lucy
Bertram, who sung her native melodies very sweetly, was accompanied by
her friend upon the instrument, and Julia afterwards performed some of
Scarlatti’s sonatas with great brilliancy. The old lawyer, scraping a
little upon the violoncello, and being a member of the gentlemen’s
concert in Edinburgh, was so greatly delighted with this mode of spending
the evening that I doubt if he once thought of the wild ducks until
Barnes informed the company that supper was ready.
‘Tell Mrs. Allan to have something in readiness,’ said the Colonel; ‘I
expect--that is, I hope--perhaps some company may be here to-night; and
let the men sit up, and do not lock the upper gate on the lawn until I
desire you.’
‘Lord, sir,’ said Julia, ‘whom can you possibly expect to-night?’
‘Why, some persons, strangers to me, talked of calling in the evening on
business,’ answered her father, not without embarrassment, for he would
have little brooked a disappointment which might have thrown ridicule on
his judgment; ‘it is quite uncertain.’
‘Well, we shall not pardon them for disturbing our party,’ said Julia,
‘unless they bring as much good-humour and as susceptible hearts as my
friend and admirer, for so he has dubbed himself, Mr. Pleydell.’
‘Ah, Miss Julia,’ said Pleydell, offering his arm with an air of
gallantry to conduct her into the eating-room, ‘the time has been, when I
returned from Utrecht in the year 1738--’
‘Pray don’t talk of it,’ answered the young lady; ‘we like you much
better as you are. Utrecht, in Heaven’s name! I daresay you have spent
all the intervening years in getting rid so completely of the effects of
your Dutch education.’
‘O forgive me, Miss Mannering,’ said the Lawyer, ‘the Dutch are a much
more accomplished people in point of gallantry than their volatile
neighbours are willing to admit. They are constant as clock-work in their
attentions.’
‘I should tire of that,’ said Julia.
‘Imperturbable in their good temper,’ continued Pleydell.
‘Worse and worse,’ said the young lady.
‘And then,’ said the old beau garcon, ‘although for six times three
hundred and sixty-five days your swain has placed the capuchin round your
neck, and the stove under your feet, and driven your little sledge upon
the ice in winter, and your cabriole through the dust in summer, you may
dismiss him at once, without reason or apology, upon the two thousand one
hundred and ninetieth day, which, according to my hasty calculation, and
without reckoning leap-years, will complete the cycle of the supposed
adoration, and that without your amiable feelings having the slightest
occasion to be alarmed for the consequences to those of Mynheer.’
‘Well,’ replied Julia,’ that last is truly a Dutch recommendation, Mr.
Pleydell; crystal and hearts would lose all their merit in the world if
it were not for their fragility.’
‘Why, upon that point of the argument, Miss Mannering, it is as difficult
to find a heart that will break as a glass that will not; and for that
reason I would press the value of mine own, were it not that I see Mr.
Sampson’s eyes have been closed, and his hands clasped for some time,
attending the end of our conference to begin the grace. And, to say the
truth, the appearance of the wild ducks is very appetising.’ So saying,
the worthy Counsellor sat himself to table, and laid aside his gallantry
for awhile to do honour to the good things placed before him. Nothing
further is recorded of him for some time, excepting an observation that
the ducks were roasted to a single turn, and that Mrs. Allan’s sauce of
claret, lemon, and cayenne was beyond praise.
‘I see,’ said Miss Mannering, ‘I have a formidable rival in Mr.
Pleydell’s favour, even on the very first night of his avowed
admiration.’
‘Pardon me, my fair lady,’ answered the Counsellor, ‘your avowed rigour
alone has induced me to commit the solecism of eating a good supper in
your presence; how shall I support your frowns without reinforcing my
strength? Upon the same principle, and no other, I will ask permission to
drink wine with you.’
‘This is the fashion of Utrecht also, I suppose, Mr. Pleydell?’
‘Forgive me, madam,’ answered the Counsellor; ‘the French themselves, the
patterns of all that is gallant, term their tavern-keepers restaurateurs,
alluding, doubtless, to the relief they afford the disconsolate lover
when bowed down to the earth by his mistress’s severity. My own case
requires so much relief that I must trouble you for that other wing, Mr.
Sampson, without prejudice to my afterwards applying to Miss Bertram for
a tart. Be pleased to tear the wing, sir, instead of cutting it off. Mr.
Barnes will assist you, Mr. Sampson; thank you, sir; and, Mr. Barnes, a
glass of ale, if you please.’
While the old gentleman, pleased with Miss Mannering’s liveliness and
attention, rattled away for her amusement and his own, the impatience of
Colonel Mannering began to exceed all bounds. He declined sitting down at
table, under pretence that he never eat supper; and traversed the parlour
in which they were with hasty and impatient steps, now throwing up the
window to gaze upon the dark lawn, now listening for the remote sound of
the carriage advancing up the avenue. At length, in a feeling of
uncontrollable impatience, he left the room, took his hat and cloak, and
pursued his walk up the avenue, as if his so doing would hasten the
approach of those whom he desired to see. ‘I really wish,’ said Miss
Bertram,’ Colonel Mannering would not venture out after nightfall. You
must have heard, Mr. Pleydell, what a cruel fright we had.’
‘O, with the smugglers?’ replied the Advocate; ‘they are old friends of
mine. I was the means of bringing some of them to justice a long time
since, when sheriff of this county.’
‘And then the alarm we had immediately afterwards,’ added Miss Bertram,
‘from the vengeance of one of these wretches.’
‘When young Hazlewood was hurt; I heard of that too.’
‘Imagine, my dear Mr. Pleydell,’ continued Lucy, ‘how much Miss Mannering
and I were alarmed when a ruffian, equally dreadful for his great
strength and the sternness of his features, rushed out upon us!’
‘You must know, Mr. Pleydell,’ said Julia, unable to suppress her
resentment at this undesigned aspersion of her admirer, ‘that young
Hazlewood is so handsome in the eyes of the young ladies of this country
that they think every person shocking who comes near him.’
‘Oho!’ thought Pleydell, who was by profession an observer of tones and
gestures,’ there’s something wrong here between my young
friends.’--‘Well, Miss Mannering, I have not seen young Hazlewood since
he was a boy, so the ladies may be perfectly right; but I can assure you,
in spite of your scorn, that if you want to see handsome men you must go
to Holland; the prettiest fellow I ever saw was a Dutchman, in spite of
his being called Vanbost, or Vanbuster, or some such barbarous name. He
will not be quite so handsome now, to be sure.’
It was now Julia’s turn to look a little out of countenance at the chance
hit of her learned admirer, but that instant the Colonel entered the
room. ‘I can hear nothing of them yet,’ he said; ‘still, however, we will
not separate. Where is Dominie Sampson?’
‘Here, honoured sir.’
‘What is that book you hold in your hand, Mr. Sampson?’
‘It’s even the learned De Lyra, sir. I would crave his honour Mr.
Pleydell’s judgment, always with his best leisure, to expound a disputed
passage.’
‘I am not in the vein, Mr. Sampson,’ answered Pleydell; ‘here’s metal
more attractive. I do not despair to engage these two young ladies in a
glee or a catch, wherein I, even I myself, will adventure myself for the
bass part. Hang De Lyra, man; keep him for a fitter season.’
The disappointed Dominie shut his ponderous tome, much marvelling in his
mind how a person possessed of the lawyer’s erudition could give his mind
to these frivolous toys. But the Counsellor, indifferent to the high
character for learning which he was trifling away, filled himself a large
glass of Burgundy, and, after preluding a little with a voice somewhat
the worse for the wear, gave the ladies a courageous invitation to join
in ‘We be Three Poor Mariners,’ and accomplished his own part therein
with great eclat.
‘Are you not withering your roses with sitting up so late, my young
ladies?’ said the Colonel.
‘Not a bit, sir,’ answered Julia; ‘your friend Mr. Pleydell threatens to
become a pupil of Mr. Sampson’s to-morrow, so we must make the most of
our conquest to-night.’
This led to another musical trial of skill, and that to lively
conversation. At length, when the solitary sound of one o’clock had long
since resounded on the ebon ear of night, and the next signal of the
advance of time was close approaching, Mannering, whose impatience had
long subsided into disappointment and despair, looked at his watch and
said, ‘We must now give them up,’ when at that instant--But what then
befell will require a separate chapter.