"I dearly love a sailor!" exclaimed the beautiful and fascinating
Mrs. D----, as she stood in the balcony of her house, leaning upon the
arm of her affectionate and indulgent husband, and gazing at a poor
shattered tar who supplicated charity by a look that could hardly fail
of interesting the generous sympathies of the heart--"I dearly love a
sailor; he is so truly the child of nature; and I never feel more
disposed to shed tears, than when I see the hardy veteran who has
sacrificed his youth, and even his limbs, in the service of his
country--
"Cast abandoned on the world's wide stage,
And doomed in scanty poverty to roam."
Look at yon poor remnant of the tempest, probably reduced to the hard
necessity of becoming a wanderer, without a home to shelter him, or one
kind commiserating smile to shed a ray of sunshine on the dreary winter
of his life. I can remember, when a child, I had an uncle who loved me
very tenderly, and my attachment to him was almost that of a daughter;
indeed he was the pride and admiration of our village; for every one
esteemed him for his kind and cheerful disposition. But untoward events
cast a gloom upon his mind; he hastened away to sea, and we never saw
him more."
By this time the weather-beaten, care-worn seaman had advanced toward
the house, and cast a wistful glance aloft; it was full of honest pride
that disdained to beg, yet his appearance was so marked with every
emblem of poverty and hunger, that, as the conflicting feelings worked
within his breast, his countenance betrayed involuntarily the struggles
of his heart. There was a manly firmness in his deportment, that bespoke
no ordinary mind; and a placid serenity in his eye, that beamed with
benevolence, and seemed only to regret that he could no longer be a
friend to the poor and destitute, or share his hard-earned pittance with
a messmate in distress. A few scattered grey locks peeped from beneath
an old straw hat; and one sleeve of his jacket hung unoccupied by his
side--the arm was gone. "I should like to know his history," said the
amiable lady; "let us send for him in." To express a wish, and have it
gratified, were the same thing to Mrs. D----, and in a few minutes the
veteran tar stood before them. "Would you wish to hear a tale of woe?"
cried the old man, in answer to her request. "Ah, no! why should your
tender heart be wounded by another's griefs? I have been buffeted by
the storms of affliction--I have struggled against the billows of
adversity--every wave of sorrow has rolled over me; but," added he,
while a glow of conscious integrity suffused his furrowed cheek, "I have
always done my duty; and that conviction has buoyed me up when nearly
overwhelmed in the ocean of distress. Yet, lady, it was not always thus:
I have been happy--was esteemed, and, as I thought, beloved. I had a
friend, in whom I reposed the highest confidence, and my affections were
devoted to one;--but, she is gone--she is gone! and I--Yes! we shall
meet again:"--here he paused, dashed a tear from his eye, and then
proceeded:--"My friend was faithless; he robbed me of the dearest
treasure of my heart, and blasted every hope of future happiness.
I left my native land to serve my country; have fought her battles, and
bled in her defence. On the 29th of May, and glorious 1st of June, 1794,
I served on board the Queen Charlotte, under gallant Howe, and was
severely wounded in the breast--but I did my duty. On that memorable
occasion, a circumstance occured which added to my bitterness and
melancholy. The decks were cleared--the guns cast loose, and every man
stood in eager expectation at his quarters. It is an awful moment, lady,
and various conflicting emotions agitate the breast when, in the calm
stillness that reigns fore and aft, the mind looks back upon the past,
and contemplates the future. Home, wife, children, and every tender
remembrance rush upon the soul. It is different in the heat of action:
then every faculty is employed for conquest, that each man may have to
say, 'I have done my duty.' But when bearing down to engage, and silence
is so profound that every whisper may be heard, then their state of
mind--it cannot be described. Sailors know what it is, and conquering it
by cool determination and undaunted bravery, nobly do their duty. I was
stationed at the starboard side of the quarter deck, and looked around
me with feelings incident to human nature, yet wishing for and courting
death. The admiral, with calm composure, surrounded by his captains and
signal officers, stood upon the beak of the poop, while brave Bowen, the
master, occupied the ladder, and gave directions to the quarter-master
at the helm. They opened their fire, and the captains of the guns stood
ready with their matches in their hand, waiting for the word. The work
of destruction commenced, and many of our shipmates lay bleeding on the
deck, but not a shot had we returned." "Stand by there, upon the main
deck," cried the first lieutenant. "Steady, my men! Wait for command,
and don't throw your fire away!" "All ready, sir," was responded fore
and aft. At this moment a seaman advanced upon the quarter-deck, attended
by a young lad (one of the fore-top men) whose pale face and quivering
lip betrayed the tremulous agitation of fear. The lieutenant gazed at
him for a few seconds with marked contempt and indignation, but all
stood silent. The officer turned towards the admiral, and on again
looking round, perceived that the lad had fainted, and lay lifeless in
the seaman's arms, who gazed upon the bloodless countenance of his
charge with a look of anguish and despair. "Carry him below," said the
lieutenant, "and let him skulk from his duty; this day must be a day of
glory!" The poor fellow seemed unconscious that he was spoken to, but
still continued to gaze upon the lad. The officer beckoned to a couple
of men, who immediately advanced, and were about to execute his orders,
when the seaman put them back with his hand, exclaiming, 'No! _she_
is mine, and we will live or die together!' Oh! lady, what a scene was
that! The frown quitted the lieutenant's brow, and a tear trembled in
his eye. The generous Howe and his brave companions gathered round, and
there was not a heart that did not feel what it was to be beloved. Yes!
mine alone was dreary, like the lightning-blasted wreck. We were rapidly
approaching the French admiral's ship, the Montague: the main decks
fired, and the lower deck followed the example. The noise brought her to
her recollection; she gazed wildly on all, and then clinging closer to
her lover, sought relief in tears. 'T----,' said his lordship, mildly,
'this must not be--Go, go, my lad; see her safe in the cockpit, and then
I know that you will do your duty.' A smile of animation lighted up his
agitated face. 'I will! I will!' cried he, God bless your lordship, I
will! for I have _always_ done my duty;'--and taking his trembling
burthen in his arms, supported her to a place of safety. In a few
minutes he was again at his gun, and assisted in pouring the first
raking broadside into our opponents stern. Since that time I have served
in most of the general actions; and knelt by the side of the hero
Nelson, when he resigned himself to the arms of death. But, whether
stationed upon deck amidst the blood and slaughter of battle--the
shrieks of the wounded, and groans of the dying--or clinging to the
shrouds during the tempestuous howling of the storm, while the wild
waves were beating over me--whether coasting along the luxuriant shores
of the Mediterranean, or surrounded by ice-bergs in the Polar sea,--one
thought, one feeling possessed my soul, and that was devoted to the
being I adored. Years rolled away; but that deep, strong, deathless
passion distance could not subdue, nor old age founder. 'Tis now about
seven years since the British troops under Wellington were landed on the
Continent. I was employed with a party of seamen on shore in
transporting the artillery and erecting batteries. A body of the French
attacked one of our detachments, and, after considerable slaughter on
both sides, the enemy were compelled to retreat. We were ordered to the
field to bring in the wounded and prisoners. Never--never shall I forget
that day: the remembrance even now unmans me. Oh, lady! forgive these
tears, and pity the anguish of an old man's heart. Day had just began to
dawn when we arrived upon the plain, and commenced our search among the
bodies, to see if there were any who yet remained lingering in
existence. Passing by and over heaps of dead, my progress was suddenly
arrested, and every fibre of my heart was racked, on seeing a female
sitting by the mangled remains of an English soldier. She was crouched
upon the ground, her face resting on her lap, and every feature hid from
view. Her long black hair hung in dishevelled flakes about her
shoulders, and her garments closed round her person, heavy with the cold
night-rains; one hand clasped that of the dead soldier, the other arm
was thrown around his head. Every feeling of my soul was roused to
exertion--I approached--she raised herself up, and--and--great Heaven!
'twas she--the woman whom I loved! She gazed with sickly horror; and,
though greatly altered--though time and sorrow had chased away the bloom
of health--though scarce a trace of former beauty remained, those
features were too deeply engraven on my memory for me to be mistaken;
but she knew me not. I forgot all my wrongs, and rushing forward,
clasped her to my breast. Oh, what a moment was that! she made an
ineffectual struggle for release, and then fainted in my arms. Some of
my shipmates came to the spot, and, turning over the lifeless form
before us, my eyes rested on the countenance of him who had once been
nay friend. But death disarms resentment; he was beyond my vengeance,
and had already been summoned to the tribunal of the Most High. When I
had last seen them, affluence, prosperity, and happiness, were the
portion of us all. Now--but I cannot, cannot repeat the distressing
tale; let it suffice, lady, that she was carried to a place of safety,
and every effort used to restore animation, in which we were eventually
successful. How shall I describe our meeting, when she recognised me?--it
is impossible; I feel it now in every nerve, but to tell you is beyond
my power. Through the kindness of a generous officer, I procured her a
passage to England, and gave her all that I possessed, with this one
request, that she would remain at Plymouth till my return to port. In
a few months afterwards we anchored in the Sound, and, as soon as duty
would permit, I hastened to obtain leave to go on shore; it was denied
me--yes, cruelly denied me. Stung to madness, I did not hesitate; but as
soon as night had closed in, slipped down the cables and swam to land.
With eager expectation I hurried to the house in which I had requested
her to remain. I crossed the threshold unobserved, for all was silent
as the grave, and gently ascended the stairs. The room door was partly
open, and a faint light glimmered on the table. The curtains of the
bed were undrawn, and there--there lay gasping in the last convulsive
agonies of nature--Oh, lady! she was dying--I rushed into the room,
threw myself by her side, and implored her to live for me. She knew
me--yes, she knew me--but at that very instant an officer with an armed
party entered the apartment. They had watched me, and I was arrested as
a deserter--arrested did I say? Ay! but not till I had stretched one of
the insulting rascals at my feet. I was handcuffed, and bayonets were
pointed at my breast. Vain was every entreaty for one hour, only one
hour. The dying woman raised herself upon her pillow--she stretched
forth her hand to mine, manacled as they were--she fell back, and
Emma--yes, my Emma was no more. Despair, rage, fury, worked up the
fiends within my soul! I struggled to burst my fetters, dashed them at
all who approached me; but overcome at length, was borne to the common
gaol. I was tried for desertion, and, on account of my resistance, was
flogged through the fleet. I had acted improperly as a seaman, but I had
done my duty as a man. It was not my intention to desert my ship, but my
feelings overpowered me, and I obeyed their dictates. Yet now I felt
indignant at my punishment, and took the first opportunity to escape;
but whither could I go?--there was no protection for me. One visit, one
lonely visit was paid to the grave of her who was now at rest for ever;
and I again entered on board the ----, bound to the West India station.
I fought in several actions, and lost my arm. But the R* for desertion
was still against my name, and though I obtained a pension for my wound,
I could obtain none for servitude. I cannot apply to the friends of my
youth, for they believe me dead; and who would credit the assertions of
a broken-hearted sailor?--No, no: a few-short months, and the voyage of
life will be over; then will old Will Jennings be laid in peace by the
side of Emma Wentworth, and wait for the last great muster before Him
who searches all hearts, and rewards those seamen who have done their
duty." Here he ceased, while D---- turned to his wife, whose loud sobs
gave witness to the sympathy of her heart; but the agony increased to
hysteric convulsions--she sprang hastily on her feet--shrieked, "'Tis
he! 'tis William! 'tis my uncle!" and fell upon his neck!--_Literary
Magnet_.
[2] Founded on facts which actually occurred in Devonshire, a short
time after the peace of 1815.
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