SECTION IX.

COALS.

There are few trades in which greater frauds are practised than in “the

coal trade.” The dealers in the “black diamonds” are versed in all

the _allowable_ legerdemain and trickery of “_auld_ England’s honest

tradesmen:” the most skilfully initiated in the art of sleight-of-hand

would find himself at fault in attempting to rival the dexterity of

the true “son of the coalshed,” under the old régime of measuring, in

ingeniously tossing his “spadefuls” into the measure so as to enable

“the darlings” to lie lightly and “go far,” and assume the form of a

solid cone, while the hollow cavity within proved as treacherous to any

one treading on its “well raised summit,” as if he had put his foot

on the surface of a quagmire. Nor was the well-fed, gaily clothed,

richly lodged coal-merchant, with his “extensive concerns” to be easily

“_out-done_” in well devised craft and contrivance: nicely pinched

sacks, not foolishly flapping inwards so as to betray the precise

amount of their contents,—well planned deliveries, either so early

in the morning that the heads of the family might prefer the arms of

Morpheus to the hazard of being choked with volumes of coal dust, or so

late in the evening, that there might be a possibility of their being

engaged in the “solid recreation” of their dinner, were a few of the

demonstrations of generalship frequently exhibited by this portion of

“the monied interest” and “great capitalists of the nation.”

But to come to the point in hand. An honest writer on the subject, Mr.

Eddington, in his Treatise on the Coal Trade, p. 94, informs us that

the keeper of a coalshed felt himself dissatisfied with his measure,

if in doling out his article to his poor, half-starved, shivering

neighbours, in pecks, half pecks, or bushels, he could not measure out

at the rate of forty-two bushels from every chaldron of thirty-six

bushels; without taking into consideration the gain to be obtained from

vending the inferior coal, and the consequent increase of quantity by

throwing a few bushels of sifted ashes, pieces of stone, bones, or any

other commodity which will assume a black form after having been well

rummaged among the heap of coals.

Another great source of unfair profit arising to the vender of coals is

the “Macadamizing” of them, and like true “nursing fathers” carefully

and sedulously giving them their due quantum of moisture. For under the

old régime of measuring, the cunning varlets knew full well that by

the greater number of angular points that they were able to produce,

they filled their measure with the least possible quantity of coals.

This paternal fulfilment of the command “to increase and multiply” they

still piously and faithfully observe, as the greater progeny of small

bits and dust that they can produce from a lonely and solitary lump,

the more they will be able to increase the weight by their considerate

and frequently repeated waterings and drenchings. Accordingly they

set their shoulders to the work, and patriotically and radically

proscribe every rebellious lump in their shed, by smashing it into as

many figures as possible, often exceeding in number the ever varying

mutations of the kaleidoscope, or _Orator_ Hunt’s _two hundred thousand

unity_ tales. Nor are their “_betters_” “the merchants” less skilled

in the art. Those considerate and sharp-sighted gentry, foreseeing

that the large masses and blocks which are delivered out of the ships

into their barges, _round_ as they came from the mine, would be an

inconvenience to their customers, and probable tumble on some fair and

delicate damsel’s toes, kindly set to work, and smash away; so that

when _the round coals_ of every chamber, containing the ingrain of

five chaldron and a half, have undergone the process of their friendly

thumpings and republican equalization, they will measure out again from

six to six and a half chaldrons. The increase by breakage appears by

the following statement from Dr. Hutton’s Mathematical Dictionary: “If

one coal measuring exactly a cubic yard (nearly equal to five bolls)

be broken into pieces of a moderate size, it will measure seven bolls

and a half; if broken very small, it will measure nine bolls.”

And even after the coals have gone through the conjuring process of

being increased in bulk by the aforesaid smashing or Macadamising art,

and have reached their destination at the wharf, the ingenuity of

“the monied interest” and “the great capitalists” is still at work.

Careful that the purchaser may not be put to the trouble of wetting his

coals to make them cake and burn well, those considerate and obliging

_gentlemen_ relieve him from the task by _scientifically_ wetting the

commodity; and as a reward for their well intentioned and meritorious

labours they generally contrive to produce, as Mr. Eddington informs

us, “from six to six and a quarter, or even six and a half, chaldrons

from each room,” containing five and a half chaldron of smashed or

“macadamized” coals. A correspondent to the World newspaper for

September, 1829, who signs himself a Coal Merchant, says that instances

are on record where eighty and even ninety sacks have been measured out

of a room of coals!

According to the new régime of weighing, (which has already proved one

of the most deceitful hoaxes that ignorance and cupidity ever contrived

against the interests of the poor,) the quantity is increased in a like

proportion in favour of the coal dealer.

Another hint or two on this matter may be of some service to thee,

friend Bull. Always recollect, John, in the purchase of your coals,

that you pay attention to the season of the year; for there is with

every article a cheap season and a dear one, and with none more than

with coals: by purchasing at the proper season, often from twenty to

thirty per cent. are saved. The method of purchasing should always be

considered; for by purchasing a room of coals, which is called _pool

measure_, two fourths of a chaldron is often obtained in every five

chaldrons; for a room of coals contains in general from sixty-three

to sixty-eight sacks. Therefore, where the quantity is too much for

the consumption of one family, two or more should join together in the

purchase.

But the legislature, that is, “the _collective wisdom_ of the nation,”

aware of thy disposition to gullibility, has, John, taken thy affair

of coals into its paternal and law-making consideration, and has made

some regulations, as to the possibility of thy receiving “_good_ and

_lawful_” weight. They are as follow:—To ensure _lawful_ weight to

the purchaser, and prevent frauds in the sale and delivery of coals,

the vender of all coals exceeding 560lbs. is to cause the carman to

deliver a paper or ticket to the purchaser before he shoots any of

the coals out of his cart or waggon, specifying the number of tons,

the description of the coals, and the weight of the sack. And a

weighing machine is to be carried in such cart or waggon, with which

the carman is directed to weigh gratis the coals contained in any one

or more of the sacks which the purchaser or his servant may require

to be so reweighed. But no ticket is necessary to be delivered with

coals purchased at the “COAL MARKET,” or with coals exceeding 560lbs.

purchased in bulk from any vessel or wharf, if purchasers do not

require a ticket. The seller of the coals not sending a ticket and a

weighing machine with the coals, and the carman not delivering the

ticket, or neglecting or refusing to weigh the coals, are subject to

distinct penalties.

No less than seventy-seven kinds of sea coal are brought to the London

market; forty-five of which are imported from Newcastle, and the rest

from Sunderland. The best of the Sunderland produce are Stewart’s

main, Lambton’s main, and Hetley main, or as they are more generally

termed in imitation of the old Russell Walls End, Stewart’s Walls End,

&c. The Scotch and Staffordshire coals are inferior to the sea coal

both in durability and the heat which they give, being about one-third

less productive in those qualities than the Newcastle and Sunderland

varieties.

The test of good coal depends on the burning, and the quantity

of bitumen it affords in its combustion; and no bad signs of its

inferiority are that it is dull, small, stony, or slaty. But the

quality of coals is in a great measure determined by the weight; for

there often occurs a difference of 30lbs. weight in two sacks of

different qualities, though equally filled: largeness of size is no

proper criterion, for the inferior coals are often of the largest size.

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