To the great hall we strayed,
Fairly our fee we paid,
Seven hundred there delayed,
But, where was Watson?
Was he out on his beer?
Walked he off on his ear?
Something was wrong, ’tis clear.
What was it, Watson?
Seven hundred souls were there,
Waiting with stony stare,
In that expectant air—
Waiting for Watson.
Oh, how our ears we strained,
How our hopes waxed and waned,
Patience to dregs we drained,
Yes, we did, Watson!
Softly the bandmen played,
Rumbled the Night Brigade,
For this our stamps we paid,
Only this, Watson!
But, Hope’s by fruitage fed,
Promise and Act should wed,
Faith without works is dead,
Is it not, Watson?
Give but one lusty groan,
For bread we’ll take a stone,
Ring your old telephone!
Ring, brother Watson.
Doubtless ’tis very fine,
When, all along the line,
Things work most superfine—
Doubtless ’tis Watson.
Let’s hear the thrills and thrums,
That your skilled digit drums,
Striking our tympanums—
Music from Watson.
We know that, every day,
Schemes laid to work and pay,
Fail and “gang aft a-gley”—
Often, friend Watson.
And we’ll not curse, or fling,
But, next time, do the thing
And we’ll all rise and sing,
“Bully for Watson!”
Or, by the unseen powers,
Hope in our bosom sours,
No telephone in ours—
“Please, Mr. Watson.”
[Illustration: _The First Telephone Advertisement, Used the Year
Following the Issuance of the Original Patent, Offered to Furnish
Telephones “for the Transmission of Articulate Speech Through
Instruments Not More Than Twenty Miles Apart.”_]
The Telephone.
The proprietors of the Telephone, the invention of Alexander Graham
Bell, for which patents have been issued by the United States and Great
Britain, are now prepared to furnish Telephones for the transmission of
articulate speech through instruments not more than twenty miles apart.
Conversation can be easily carried on after slight practice and with the
occasional repetition of a word or sentence. On first listening to the
Telephone, though the sound is perfectly audible, the articulation seems
to be indistinct; but after a few trials the ear becomes accustomed to
the peculiar sound and finds little difficulty in understanding the
words.
The Telephone should be set in a quiet place, where there is no noise
which would interrupt ordinary conversation.
The advantages of the Telephone over the Telegraph for local business
are
1st. That no skilled operator is required, but direct communication may
be had by speech without the intervention of a third person.
2d. That the communication is much more rapid, the average number of
words transmitted a minute by Morse Sounder being from fifteen to
twenty, by Telephone from one to two hundred.
3d. That no expense is required either for its operation, maintenance,
or repair. It needs no battery, and has no complicated machinery. It is
unsurpassed for economy and simplicity.
The Terms for leasing two Telephones for social purposes connecting a
dwelling-house with any other building will be $20 a year, for business
purposes $40 a year, payable semiannually in advance, with the cost of
expressage from Boston, New York, Cincinnati, Chicago, St. Louis, or San
Francisco. The instruments will be kept in good working order by the
lessors, free of expense, except from injuries resulting from great
carelessness.
Several Telephones can be placed on the same line at an additional
rental of $10 for each instrument; but the use of more than two on the
some line where privacy is required is not advised. Any person within
ordinary hearing distance can hear the voice calling through the
Telephone. If a louder call is required one can be furnished for $5.
Telegraph lines will be constructed by the proprietors if desired. The
price will vary from $100 to $150 a mile; any good mechanic can
construct a line; No. 9 wire costs 8½ cents a pound, 320 pounds to the
mile; 34 insulators at 25 cents each; the price of poles and setting
varies in every locality; stringing wire $5 per mile; sundries $10 per
mile.
Parties leasing the Telephones incur no expense beyond the annual rental
and the repair of the line wire. On the following pages are extracts
from the Press and other sources relating to the Telephone.