_THE COUP._
"He was one of those earnest people who feel that life ought to have
some meaning if they could only find it out," said Sturtevant, "and he
came in with my little brochure, _The Harmonies of Sin_, in his paw. He
was a sort of wrinkled romance. 'Sir,' he said, 'may I ask if you are
Mordaunt Sturtevant?' 'At your service,' I answered. Then he said, 'I
must tell you that I have felt it my duty to come and remonstrate with
you about this 'ere dreadful book.' I asked him to sit down, and pushed
over the decanter. He waved it away, tapping my book with his umbrella.
'You have unpaved hell to build your book with,' he said. 'Then my book
is made up of good intentions,' I answered, but he didn't see it. 'Think
of your pore soul,' he said. I told him I didn't know its address.
'Sir, you have exalted harlotry into a social force.' I told him the
harlot was the earthworm of society. He got up and retreated to the
door. 'Any _man_ would 'ate it,' he said. I asked him quite politely if
he considered himself a man. He remarked that he _was_ a man, 'made in
God's image, sir! in God's image!' 'The mould must have leaked,' I said.
"At this he grew angry, pointing his umbrella at me and snorting. 'You
'ave all the vices, and aspire to all the crimes,' he shouted. When he
began to shout I'd had about enough, so I kicked him downstairs."
"When did this episode occur?"
"Oh, just before you came in."
"What's the book about, I haven't read it."
"Merely a little psychological analysis of a young girl's misdoings."
"There's a sort of naked indecency about a young girl's soul, so I don't
think I'll read it. Pass the whiskey, will you? You've had enough. I
suppose you hurt your visitor considerably?"
"Oh, he didn't really come, I only said that for the sake of saying
something, and because I thought how amusing such a man would be if he
did turn up."
Gobion yawned. Both of them were very dull and miserable.
The afternoon was all blind with rain swirling against the window in
sudden gusts. Footsteps echoed on the flags below with a monotonous
clank, while, more faintly, London poured into their ears a dreary hum,
a suggestion of wet cold streets. It was about four in the afternoon,
and Gobion having done some work in the morning was now in the Temple,
sitting in front of the fire, without any present interest. Restless and
miserable, he tried to think of Scott, of Father Gray, of the people who
cared for him, hoping for vague thrillings, little tender luxuries of
regret, but it was of no use. A short time ago he could have induced the
pleasing grief-bubble easily with a good fire and a little whiskey, and
at its bursting, enjoy a music-hall with its lights and laughter; but
now something seemed to have snapped. The curtain was down, the gas was
out, the house was cold and empty. He was no longer able to put on a
sentimental halo and act at himself as an approving audience.
Sturtevant too was dull and lethargic. He was not emotional like the
other, but though a man of less charm, his attainments were greater, he
knew more, and now he also was struggling to think--to work.
They were both silent for some time while the darkness closed in, the
rain outside pattering with an added weariness and the wind wailing up
from the river. At last Sturtevant took up a glass from the table and
threw it into the fire with an oath.
"Laugh, you devil!" he said, "shout! be merry! be brilliant!"
"Can't," said Gobion, "I keep my brilliancy for the comparative
stranger."
"----and the positive _Pilgrim_, I suppose."
"Exactly. Hallo! there's someone at the door." He shouted, "Yes!" it was
one of his little mannerisms never to say, "Come in." The door opened
and a girl came round the corner of the screen. It was Blanche Huntley,
Wild's mistress, dressed in a long macintosh dripping with rain.
Both men jumped up surprised, Gobion helping her to take off her ulster,
while Sturtevant put her umbrella in the stand.
She came to the fireside, a girl not unlike a dainty illustration in a
magazine, very neatly got up with a white froth of lace round her neck,
and a _chic_ black rosette at her waist. Certainly a pretty girl, with a
sweet rather tired mouth, well-marked eyebrows, and dark eyes somewhat
full, the lids stained with bistre. Gobion knew her, having met her at
Wild's, and rather liked her. She was a girl with ideas, and might have
made something of her life if she had not been mixed up in the famous
Wrampling Divorce Case, and been forced to leave her type-writing office
in the City.
When ruin comes a man begs, a woman sells.
She sat down, Gobion introducing her to Sturtevant, who looked with some
interest. "Fashion-plate in distress," was his mental comment. Gobion
thought, "Her youth is the golden background which shows up the sadness
of her lot; lucky man Wild though," a very fair index to the
individuality of the two men as far as such things go.
"I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you, old man, and it's partly my
fault," she said.
"What is it, Blanche?"
"Well, we were sitting at lunch to-day--Tom wasn't going to the
office--when that old pig, Mr. Heath, came rushing in, half mad, waving
a paper in his hand, cursing and swearing till I thought they would hear
him in the street. He threw it on the table, and I noticed a column in
leaded type marked with blue pencil. 'There,' he said to Tom, 'there's a
nice thing to see about one's self! Some damn dirty skunk's been writing
this about me and _The Pilgrim_.' It was so funny to see him, I never
saw anybody in such a bate before; I looked over Tom's shoulder, and,
without thinking, said, 'Why, I typed that for Mr. Yardly Gobion.'
'What!' they both yelled. 'Well--I'm--damned! Curse the cad!' Excuse me
telling you all this. Well, he went on storming and raving, and said he
was going to sack you, and write you a letter you'd remember, and what
was more, crab you in every paper in London. I'm horribly sorry, it was
all through me."
Sturtevant gave a long whistle.
"Never mind, dear," said Gobion, "it doesn't matter, I don't care; what
a rag it must have been!"
"I haven't seen the thing in print yet," said Sturtevant, "I'll go out
and get a copy."
When he had gone, Blanche came closer to Gobion. "Poor boy," she said,
"I'm afraid you'll find things rather difficult now."
"Never mind, dear, it doesn't matter, I've got past caring for most
things. Does Wild know you're here?"
"Tom? oh no, he'd half kill me if he did. He never liked you much, you
know, he said you put on such a lot of Oxford side."
"Isn't he kind to you, then?"
"Oh, Lord, no, not now. He was at first, but he's getting tired."
"I should cut the brute."
"What would I do?" she said sadly, "what would I do? I've no character
or money or anything. I'd have to go to the Empire promenade, I expect."
She stretched out her hands to the blaze wearily.
"Poor little girl," he said, taking one of her hands in his, "poor
little girl, it's a nasty, miserable world."
She said nothing for half a minute, and then she burst into an agony of
tears, dropping her head on his shoulder.
"Oh, don't, dear, don't!" said Gobion, half crying too; "try to bear
up."
"You don't know what it means. You're not an outcast."
"Yes I am, dear, I'm a good deal worse than you. I have a hell, too. Be
a brave girl."
She smiled faintly through her tears.
"You are good," she said, "not like the other men."
"I'm simply a blackguard; don't tell me I'm good."
"You don't shrink from me."
"I? Good God! you don't know what I am--sister."
At that word she crouched down in her chair, passionately sobbing.
"God bless you," she said, "God bless you."
"You must leave him, dear, and get your living by your type-writing." He
pulled out his pocket-book and made a rapid calculation. "Twenty here
and ten at my rooms. Look here," he said, "I'm not hard up now; here's
three fivers. It will keep you going for a month or two. Make a new
start, little woman."
She took the money and looked him in the face. Some thoughts are
prayers.
"Good-bye," she said, "good-bye. If only I'd met you first."
The man bowed his head, and they left the room hand in hand. When they
reached the lane she turned, and in the dim light of the flickering lamp
she saw that his face was wet.
He took her little ungloved hand, raising it to his lips, still with
bowed head, and turning, left her without a word.
When Sturtevant came in an hour afterwards he found him lying on the
floor dead drunk, with a little pool of whiskey dripping from the table
on to his hair.
* * * * *
"We must do highly moral articles for those papers which are calculated
not to bring a blush to the face of the purest girl (except in the
advertisements of waterproof rouge), or you might try _The Spy_. They
can hardly refuse your copy now," said Sturtevant, about three weeks
after the exposure.
Gobion had found the girl spoke truly. Not a paper in London was open to
him. He was barred at the "copy shop," and was living on money borrowed
from Scott in a piteous appeal full of lies. He forwarded an article to
Picton, but it was sent back by return of post, with a sarcastic little
note, saying that Mr. Picton could not find himself sufficiently bold to
accept any further contributions. Things were getting rather desperate.
Oxford bills were coming in by every post to both of them. They were
nearly at their wits' end for money.
At this juncture came a letter from Condamine.
"OXFORD UNION SOCIETY.
"DEAR GOBION,--The game is played almost to an end. Only one more
move, and that not till next June, to be taken. Then will be peace
at last. My latest has been of its kind a master-stroke, that is,
to disappear. Things were getting too hot for me, so I have gone
down to read. Everybody was getting suspicious, and eyed me
askance. Drage was sent down (another disappearance!) for lying
drunk with a friend from Oriel in the fellows' quad, and for
reviling the buck priest most blasphemously in that he had
awakened him. My tutor waxed very wroth with me. I was troubled
with frightful insomnia every afternoon, and often in the
morning--often finding it necessary to go to bed at midnight, rise
at two a.m. and work till five or so, and again retire. Perhaps
this was due to the fact that I had to sleep off certain matters
of no importance, and then awake early, which is a way of mine.
Drage's last moments in Oxford I soothed by fetching Father Gray
at ten p.m. Tommy had all sorts of ideas, Stage, Germany,
Colonies, every manner of starvation, so I applied his Reverence
as a last remedy, which succeeded. Many things I could tell you of
this, but not now. He (the Gray father) has got a rich young cub
with him, Lord Frederick Staines Calvert, and they are going to
town for a time to-day. The boy is without understanding--very
oofy--so if you are still _épris_ with the worthy parson you may
be able to make something out of it.
"Farewell. Thine,
"ARTHUR CONDAMINE.
"TO CARADOC YARDLY GOBION."
Gobion showed this to Sturtevant. "Do you think there's anything in it?"
he said.
"Yes, I certainly do; you must make every effort to get hold of the boy.
We must think out a plan; I hope he's an ass. At present he's a
problem."
"I'll find him out if I can get hold of him, but I don't quite see how
we're going to make any money out of it."
"Do you remember," said Sturtevant slowly, "that dear lady I took to
your rooms when I first came up?"
"Little beast! yes."
"I've seen her since then; she lives in Bear Street off Leicester
Square, just behind the Alhambra. Now doesn't the diffused white light
of your intelligence supply the rest?"
"No, I confess----"
"Listen then. You must tell Father Gray that you are supporting yourself
by coaching, and that you are working in the East End. He knows about
those defence articles in the _Church Chimes_. Somehow or other he must
be got to think you're steady and trustworthy. Then you go about with
this young lord he's got and get well hold of him: you can be very
charming when you like. From what I have heard of his father, Lord
Ringwood, he's been brought up strictly. You must, therefore, take him
about a little--Empire, Jimmies, that sort of thing; show him life, till
he begins to long to go a little further, and to make sheep's-eyes at
the painted ladies in the stalls. Meanwhile I shall get hold of the Bear
Street girl and promise her a fiver if she'll help us. One night you and
Calvert dine out (give fizz and Benedictine after, it's exciting), and
when you get back to your rooms you find Marie as "Mrs. Holmes" waiting
to see you. Then I send you a telegram, and you apologise and go out,
promising to be back in half an hour. Come round to the Temple, where I
shall be waiting. We'll arrange with Marie that she shall have half an
hour to make Calvert cuddle her. Then I come in--the outraged
husband!--and kick up the devil's own row, swearing I'll get a divorce.
In the middle enter Mr. Gobion again. You persuade Marie and me to
leave. Then you soothe the ruffled boy, promising to try and arrange the
matter. You go out, consult with me, and touch him for a cheque to
square matters. I should think we might work a 'thou' almost."
Gobion lay back in his chair, overwhelmed by the brilliancy of the idea.
"Won-der-ful! you're a master simply. It ought to be put on the market
in one pound shares; and I thought you a mere decadent story writer."
Sturtevant smiled. "Don't say decadent," he said, "it's a misnomer now.
The public thinks decadence is the state of being different from Miss
Charlotte M. Yonge, while the æsthete----"
"_Please_ don't begin to lecture on the utter."
"Do you object to the utter then?"
"I object to the utterer."
"I am silent. The surly word makes the curst squirm."
"That's worthy of Condamine."
Very soon they both got bored again, when the excitement of the plotting
had evanesced. It was a consequence of their diseased mental state, this
constant overpowering _ennui_. Sturtevant went to the piano and began to
chant--
"There was a young fellow of Magdalen
Whose tutor accused him of dagdalen,
And of stretching his credit;
He wouldn't have said it
Had the youth been a peer or a lagdalen."
"I hope our lagdalen will be profitable; if we do well we might go down
to the Riviera for a week or two."
"That wouldn't be bad at all, the sunny South! I think I'll go west now
to the War Office and get Bobby Burness to come out for some lunch. Do
you remember him? little Pemmy man. He got a clerkship by interest.
Spends his time round the west now looking out for a moneyed female.
Jolly berth he's got, just puts his name in the south-east corner of a
few papers, and trots off to the park for the rest of the mornin'."
As he went down the Strand he thought over Sturtevant's plan. It was a
good deal nearer the wind than he had dared to go before; however, the
thing was certain, something had to be done to raise money. He was not a
man who could live on thirty shillings a week, for, even though they
failed to amuse him, he could not go without the "extras" of life. He
did not, for instance, particularly care for Kümmell with his coffee,
but it was as much a necessity to him as a clean shirt.
The morality of Sturtevant's scheme did not trouble him in the least;
the danger was the thing he thought of. His head bubbled with details
and scenic arrangements, rapidly falling into order as he thought. His
mind was masterly in its grasp of salient points, in its suggestions of
detail. Naturally, as he plotted and studied his part, this orderly
marshalling of ideas induced a sense of freedom from danger. With a
clearer view of incident came a confusion of outline.
He had just got to Trafalgar Square when he started to feel a hand
placed on his shoulder, and looking round saw Father Gray and his
victim. In the first shock of surprise he reeled as if struck, and a
flash of deadly fear passed over his face, but so instantaneously that
it would have been almost impossible for a stranger to have seen it.
Though he had recovered this first feeling of terror in a moment, hard
as he was, he could never have prevented it. It was the inevitable
cowardice of evil, the most horrid kind of fear. Then almost immediately
came a great flood of exaltation dominating all other sensation.
"This _is_ jolly," said Father Gray, "we were just coming to see you.
This is my friend, Lord Frederick Calvert. How are you getting on? Well!
Oh, I'm so glad. You did excellent service for us in the _Church
Chimes_; that Protestant paper was dreadfully venomous. Now, what do you
say to the hotel and lunch?"
"I should like it of all things. Where are you staying?"
"At the Charing Cross, just over the road."
"Right you are. If you will go on I will join you in a moment; I just
want to go to the post."
He went to the office at the corner, and sent off a wire to Sturtevant,
not being able to resist elevenpence-halfpennyworth of epigram.
"Everything comes to him who can't wait. Keep away from my rooms,
have met our worthy friends.--G."
The lunch party was bright and enjoyable. Lord Frederick did not talk
much, but Gobion did, and the clergyman treated him most affectionately,
paying the greatest attention to his remarks. The young fellow, who was
aching to see a little life, and taste some of the joys hitherto
forbidden, looked on Gobion as a being from another world, charmed and
fascinated by his manner and conversation. He hoped that perhaps he
might be able to make him the excuse for a little more freedom.
At the end of the meal a waiter came up with a telegram in his hand,
"Rrreverrend Grray, sir?" he said. The clergyman read the flimsy pink
paper, his face growing very serious as he did so.
"My dear Lord Frederick," he said, "I am so very sorry. My great friend
Stanley, of the C.B.S., is dying up in Scotland and asking for me. I
must leave you for a day or two, I fear. Do you mind? Gobion, perhaps,
would not mind keeping you company a little."
Both men showed the deepest sympathy, saying that they could manage very
well, while both were inwardly rejoicing. There were the elements of
farce in the situation.
They got him off late in the afternoon. "God proposes, and man is
disposed of," said Gobion as the train left the station. Lord Frederick
laughed. "And now, my dear sir," he said, "I place myself entirely in
your hands. To speak quite frankly, I've never had such a chance of a
rag before, and I want to make the most of it."
"I too should like a rag," said Gobion. "We _will_ rag, and take no
thought for the morrow beyond staying up to welcome its arrival. We'd
better go and dress first; I'll call at the hotel when I'm ready."
When he had put the other down at Charing Cross he went on in the
hansom to the "Temple," bursting in on Sturtevant, whom he found with
the female conspirator sitting on his knee. "Arrange the coup for
to-morrow evening at nine," he said; "I'm off now to take him round the
halls."
He rushed out again and dressed as quickly as he could, putting two or
three sovereigns in his pocket for emergencies, though he intended his
friend should pay all expenses.
They went at first to The Princes, and had, as Gobion told Sturtevant
next morning, "a dinner regardless, my dear boy, simply regardless.
Never done so well before." Lord Frederick insisted on paying,
explaining that as he had asked Gobion to accompany him, all the
expenses would be his.
They got on very well together. The nobleman was ingenuous and
gentlemanly, and Gobion, who appreciated these things to the full,
almost felt compunction at what he proposed to do. They afterwards went
to the Alhambra, taking a box, and Gobion pointed out various people as
celebrities in literature and art, making himself a charming companion
by his clever commentaries on the crowd.
Being extremely young and innocent, Lord Frederick was of course a
confirmed cynic, and he enjoyed the malice of Gobion's remarks,
especially as he was always unmercifully snubbed at home when he tried
to be caustic.
On this particular evening it happened that no one of any note was in
the place except Moro de Minter, the comic journalist, but, nothing
daunted, Gobion pointed out various obvious bank clerks and actors
"resting" as the leading lights of London journalism. The poor boy
believed it all; he was very ingenuous; indeed, he laughed twice, once
almost loudly, at one of Little Hich's songs!
They parted late, Lord Frederick a little tipsy, swearing eternal
friendship, and Gobion promised to take him to a well-known night club
in Soho the following evening.
Progress was reported to Sturtevant next morning over breakfast, and he
gave Gobion some valuable hints as to detail. As the evening drew on
both of them got rather nervous and excited--the coup was so big, and
the chances of failure so many.
They discussed the final arrangements with an affected disregard for
danger, sprinkling cheap cynicism as a sort of intellectual pepper to
disguise the too strong taste of the undertaking.
"Pan is dead," said Sturtevant, filling up the inevitable tumbler. "Long
live Pannikin! And now to play your part; the curtain is going up and
the critics are in the stalls. Go out and prosper."
They dined this time at the Trocadero, Gobion thinking that the music
would help in producing the necessary high spirits in Calvert, and at
the close of the meal he proposed an adjournment to his rooms, as it was
yet too early for the night club. When they mounted the stairs a light
showed from under the door. "Hallo," said Gobion, "there's someone
here"; and meeting Mrs. Daily on the landing, she said Mrs. Holmes was
waiting to see him.
"You're in luck," he said to his friend; "she's a charming little
woman--acts in burlesques, you know."
Mrs. Holmes rose to meet them. With a keen sense of the comic side of
the situation, Gobion noticed that Sturtevant had been there, his gloves
were left on the table. The room was evidently arranged by a master
mind. An inviting lounge shaded by a screen was placed by the red glow
of the fire, the lights were carefully shaded so as not to shine too
fully on the artificial beauties of the lady's face. The cushions and
chairs exhaled an odour of patchouli (Sturtevant had been round with a
spray-diffuser half an hour before), and _Nana_ lay open on the table at
the page where Georges is drying by the kitchen fire.
Indeed, so far had the thing been carried out, Gobion could not help
thinking that something was wrong. No. 999, Queer Street was a little
too visible, but the champagne had exhilarated Calvert, and he noticed
nothing, and became on confidential terms with "Mrs. Holmes" in no time.
Absinthe was produced, the sickly smell irritating Gobion, who was
longing to get out of the hot rooms and the _poudre d'amour_ atmosphere.
At last the telegram came. He said, "Awf'ly sorry, old man, but I must
go out for half an hour; they want me to do a leaderette for to-morrow's
_Happy Despatch_ on the 'spinning-house' row. I'll be back very
shortly."
He went out in a hurry to the Temple, where he found Sturtevant in
evening dress, white and haggard, walking up and down the room.
* * * * *
They got the cheque, and Sturtevant cashed it before lunch next morning,
and at one o'clock they met in Gobion's rooms to divide the spoil. Over
the meal--a dainty repast, ordered to celebrate their achievement--they
were in the highest spirits. To-morrow they resolved that they would go
to Cannes, or perhaps further still.
"We might do Madeira," said Sturtevant. "Think of the heat, the
quivering air, the hum of the insects, ah-h!" He took a deep
anticipatory breath, and as he did so the door opened and an elderly
gentleman came in.
"I don't think I have the pleasure," said Gobion, rising from his chair.
"My name is Ringwood," said the stranger quietly. Gobion flinched as if
he had been struck in the face. There was a strained, tense silence,
only broken by the gurgling of the champagne in Sturtevant's glass as he
raised it to his lips. Then he sneered, "Ah!" his lips curling away from
his teeth.
Lord Ringwood struggled desperately to control himself. "Good God! what
a damned couple of rascals you are!" he cried.
Gobion laughed a little sickly, pitiable laugh. "Fine day," he said.
The peer got up. "I see now what to do," he said. "I was a fool to come
here. I'll have you both in gaol this afternoon."
When he had gone, and they had heard the front door bang, Gobion jumped
up and packed a portmanteau.
"Go back to the Temple," he said; "no one knows your address. I'm going
to get rooms somewhere in Pimlico--till we can get further away. I'll
come to the Temple to-night."
He got into a cab and drove away. As he turned into the Embankment a
piano-organ burst out with "The Dandy Coloured Coon," and the tune
throbbed in his brain, keeping time to the monotonous beat of the
horse's feet on the macadam.