and we will give you a Fairy Tricycle; sell 25 lbs. for a Solid Silver
Watch and Chain; 50 lbs. for a Gold Watch and Chain; 75 lbs. for a
Bicycle; 10 lbs. for a Beautiful Gold Ring. Express prepaid if cash is
sent for goods. Write for catalog and order sheet.
W. G. BAKER,
SPRINGFIELD, MASS.
[Illustration]
WONDER CABINET =FREE=. Missing Link Puzzle, Devil's Bottle, Pocket
Camera, Latest Wire Puzzle, Spook Photos, Book of Sleight of Hand, Total
Value 60c. Sent free with immense catalogue of 1000 Bargains for 10c.
for postage.
INGERSOLL & BRO., 65 Cortlandt Street N.Y.
[Illustration: If afflicted with SORE EYES USE Dr. ISAAC THOMPSON'S EYE
WATER]
=DEAFNESS & HEAD NOISES CURED= by my =INVISIBLE= Tubular Cushions. Have
helped more to good =HEAR=ing than all other devices combined. Whispers
=HEAR=d. Help ears as glasses do eyes. =F. Hiscox=, 853 B'dway, N.Y.
Book of proofs =FREE=
HARPER'S PERIODICALS
Per Year:
HARPER'S MAGAZINE _Postage Free_, $4.00
HARPER'S WEEKLY " 4.00
HARPER'S BAZAR " 4.00
HARPER'S ROUND TABLE " 2.00
* * * * *
_Booksellers and Postmasters usually receive subscriptions.
Subscriptions sent direct to the publishers should be accompanied by
Post-office Money Order or Draft._
* * * * *
HARPER & BROTHERS, Franklin Square, N. Y.
VACATION READING
From Harper's Young People Series.
* * * * *
_Illustrated. Post 8vo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1.25 each._
_The Mystery of Abel Forefinger_. By WILLIAM DRYSDALE.
_Raftmates.--Canoemates.--Campmates.--Dorymates._ By KIRK MUNROE.
_Young Lucretia, and Other Stories._ By MARY E. WILKINS.
_A Boy's Town._ By W. D. HOWELLS.
_Diego Pinzon._ By J. R. CORYELL.
* * * * *
_Illustrated. Square 16mo, Cloth, Ornamental, $1.00 each._
_Wakulla.--The Flamingo Feather.--Derrick Sterling.--Chrystal,
Jack & Co., and Delta Bixby._ By KIRK MUNROE.
_The Talking Leaves.--Two Arrows.--The Red Mustang._ By W. O.
STODDARD.
_Prince Lazybones, and Other Stories._ By Mrs. W. J. HAYS.
_The Ice Queen._ By ERNEST INGERSOLL.
_Uncle Peter's Trust._ By GEORGE B. PERRY.
_Toby Tyler.--Mr. Stubbs's Brother.--Tim and Tip.--Left
Behind.--Raising the "Pearl."--Silent Pete._ By JAMES OTIS.
_The Four Macnicols._ By WILLIAM BLACK.
_The Lost City.--Into Unknown Seas._ By DAVID KER.
_The Story of Music and Musicians.--Jo's Opportunity.--Rolf
House.--Mildred's Bargain, and Other Stories.--Nan.--The Colonel's
Money.--The Household of Glen Holly._ By LUCY C. LILLIE.
* * * * *
Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, New York.
_For sale by all booksellers, or will be mailed by the publishers,
postage prepaid, on receipt of the price._
[Illustration: WICKED WILLIE'S DREAM.
THE COMBINATION OF TOO MUCH HUCKLEBERRY PUDDING AND A GUILTY CONSCIENCE
AFTER ANNOYING HIS SISTER'S PET KITTEN.]
TEACHER. "Now, girls, you all know what liquid measure is. Little Alice
may tell me what measure treats of inches, feet, and yards."
LITTLE ALICE. "Tape measure, teacher."
Auntie was a Southern mammy who had come North with the family she was
born in, for the first time in her life. The sights and peculiarities of
the Northern people, so strange to her eyes, caused her a great deal of
trouble and confusion, and also provoked much mirth. Now Auntie had seen
but little ice in the South, and one very warm day she addressed her
young missus: "Lor', chile, I's dot a powerful headdake."
"Why, Auntie, I'll get you some ice," which the young lady did, telling
her to put some in a handkerchief around her head, and take a small
piece in her mouth.
Auntie started to do as she was directed, but evidently overdid it, for
in a short time she burst into the dining-room, shouting,
"O Lor', missee, I's frizzed, I's gwine ter die. O Lor' er massy, gim me
some hot water, quick, befo' I's a dead mammy."
"Why, what on earth is the matter, Auntie?"
After a great deal of trouble, the following explanation was given:
"I's done swallow dat piece of ice as youse tole me, an' it stuck in my
chest, an' den it began ter freeze all my chest, an' I done feel it er
reachin' fer my heart. Dat settled it sure 'nough. Nothin' would stop
that freezin' till I swallered de hot water ter melt it. Yes, I's better
now, but I don' want no more ob dat ice."
TEACHER. "If your father was to hear of your bad conduct it would make
his hair turn gray."
BOBBY. "I beg your pardon, sir, my father hasn't any hair left."
TOMMY. "Why does the sun rise in the east?"
BOBBY. "I guess there must be a (y)east factory over that way."
FIRST BOY. "Did you hurt yourself when you fell that time?"
SECOND BOY. "Nop, not when I fell; it was when I hit the ground I hurt
myself."
THE HORNETS' NEST.
The hornets' nest is football-shaped
About the rose-bush curled,
But I would never raise my foot
To kick it for the world.
A gentleman once asked a lawyer what he would do provided he had loaned
a man $500, and the man left the country without sending any
acknowledgments.
"Why, that's simple; just write him to send an acknowledgment for the
$5000 you lent him, and he will doubtless reply stating it was only
$500. That will suffice for a receipt, and you can proceed against him
if necessary."
End of Project Gutenberg's Harper's Round Table, July 23, 1895, by Various