Sail forth into the sea, thou ship,
Through breeze and cloud, right onward steer;
The moistened eye, the trembling lip,
Are not the signs of doubt or fear!--LONGFELLOW.
Tranquility only lasted until Mr. Ernescliffe found it necessary to
understand on what terms he was to stand. Every one was tender of
conscience, anxious to do right, and desirous to yield to the opinion
that nobody could, or would give. While Alan begged for a positive
engagement, Margaret scrupled to exchange promises that she might never
be able to fulfil, and both agreed to leave all to her father, who, in
every way, ought to have the best ability to judge whether there was
unreasonable presumption in such a betrothal; but this very ability only
served to perplex the poor doctor more and more. It is far easier for a
man to decide when he sees only one bearing of a case, than when, like
Dr. May, he not only sees them, but is rent by them in his inmost
heart. Sympathising in turn with each lover, bitterly accusing his own
carelessness as the cause of all their troubles, his doubts contending
with his hopes, his conviction clashing with Sir Matthew Fleet’s
opinion, his conscientious sincerity and delicacy conflicting with
his affection and eagerness, he was perfectly incapable of coming to a
decision, and suffered so cruelly, that Margaret was doubly distressed
for his sake, and Alan felt himself guilty of having rendered everybody
miserable.
Dr. May could not conceal his trouble, and rendered Ethel almost as
unhappy as himself, after each conversation with her, though her hopes
usually sprang up again, and she had a happy conviction that this was
only the second volume of the novel. Flora was not often called into his
councils; confidence never came spontaneously from Dr. May to her; there
was something that did not draw it forth towards her, whether it resided
in that half-sarcastic corner of her steady blue eye, or in the grave
common-sense of her gentle voice. Her view of the case was known to be
that there was no need for so much perplexity--why should not Alan be
the best judge of his own happiness? If Margaret were to be delicate for
life, it would be better to have such a home to look to; and she soothed
and comforted Margaret, and talked in a strain of unmixed hope and
anticipation that often drew a smile from her sister, though she feared
to trust to it.
Flora’s tact and consideration in keeping the children away when the
lovers could best be alone, and letting them in when the discussion was
becoming useless and harassing, her cheerful smiles, her evening music
that covered all sounds, her removal of all extra annoyances, were
invaluable, and Margaret appreciated them, as, indeed, Flora took care
that she should.
Margaret begged to know her eldest brother’s judgment, but had great
difficulty in dragging it out. Diffidently as it was proposed, it
was clear and decided. He thought that his father had better send Sir
Matthew Fleet a statement of Margaret’s present condition, and abide
by his answer as to whether her progress warranted the hope of her
restoration.
Never was Richard more surprised than by the gratitude with which his
suggestion was hailed, simple as it was, so that it seemed obvious
that others should have already thought of it. After the tossings of
uncertainty, it was a positive relief to refer the question to some
external voice, and only Ethel and Norman expressed strong dislike to
Sir Matthew becoming the arbiter of Margaret’s fate, and were scarcely
pacified by Dr. May’s assurance that he had not revealed the occasion of
his inquiry. The letter was sent, and repose returned, but hearts beat
high on the morning when the answer was expected.
Dr. May watched the moment when his daughter was alone, carried the
letter to her, and kissing her, said, with an oppressed voice, “I give
you joy, my dear.”
She read with suspended breath and palpitating heart. Sir Matthew
thought her improvement sure, though slow, and had barely a doubt that,
in a year, she would have regained her full strength and activity.
“You will show it to Alan,” said Dr. May, as Margaret lifted her eyes to
his face inquiringly.
“Will not you?” she said.
“I cannot,” he answered. “I wish I was more helpful to you, my child,”
he added wistfully, “but you will rest on him, and be happy together
while he stays, will you not?”
“Indeed I will, dear papa.”
Mr. Ernescliffe was with her as the doctor quitted her. She held the
letter to him, “But,” she said slowly, “I see that papa does not believe
it.”
“You promised to abide by it!” he exclaimed, between entreaty and
authority.
“I do; if you choose so to risk your hopes.”
“But,” cried he, as he glanced hastily over the letter, “there can be
no doubt! These words are as certain as language can make them. Why will
you not trust them?”
“I see that papa does not.”
“Despondency and self-reproach made him morbidly anxious. Believe so, my
Margaret! You know he is no surgeon!”
“His education included that line,” said Margaret. “I believe he has
all but the manual dexterity. However, I would fain have faith in Sir
Matthew,” she added, smiling, “and perhaps I am only swayed by the habit
of thinking that papa must know best.”
“He does in indifferent cases; but it is an old axiom, that a medical
man should not prescribe for his own family; above all, in such a case,
where it is but reasonable to believe an unprejudiced stranger, who
alone is cool enough to be relied on. I absolutely depend on him!”
Margaret absolutely depended on the bright cheerful look of conviction.
“Yes,” she said, “we will try to make papa take pleasure in the
prospect. Perhaps I could do more if I made the attempt.”
“I am sure you could, if you would let me give you more support. If I
were but going to remain with you!”
“Don’t let us be discontented,” said Margaret, smiling, “when so much
more has been granted than I dare to hope. Be it as it may, let us be
happy in what we have.”
“It makes you happy?” said he, archly reading her face to draw out the
avowal, but he only made her hide it, with a mute caress of the hand
that held hers. She was glad enough to rest in the present, now that
everything concurred to satisfy her conscience in so doing, and come
what might, the days now spent together would be a possession of joy for
ever.
Captain Gordon contrived to afford his lieutenant another fortnight’s
leave, perhaps because he was in dread of losing him altogether, for
Alan had some doubts, and many longings to remain. Had it been possible
to marry at once, he would have quitted the navy immediately; and he
would have given worlds to linger beside Margaret’s couch, and claim her
the first moment possible, believing his care more availing than all. He
was, however, so pledged to Captain Gordon, that, without strong cause,
he would not have been justified in withdrawing; besides, Harry was
under his charge, and Dr. May and Margaret both thought, with the
captain, that an active life would be a better occupation for him than
watching her. He would never be able to settle down at his new home
comfortably without her, and he would be more in the way of duty while
pursuing his profession, so Margaret nerved herself against using her
influence to detain him, and he thanked her for it.
Though hope and affection could not an once repair an injured spine,
they had wonderful powers in inciting Margaret to new efforts. Alan
was as tender and ready of hand as Richard, and more clever and
enterprising; and her unfailing trust in him prevented all alarms and
misgivings, so that wonders were effected, and her father beheld her
standing with so little support, looking so healthful and so blithe,
that his forebodings melted away, and he talked joyously of the future.
The great achievement was taking her round the garden. She could not
bear the motion of wheels, but Alan adopted the hammock principle, and,
with the aid of Richard and his crony, the carpenter, produced a machine
in which no other power on earth could have prevailed on her to trust
herself, but in which she was carried round the garden so successfully,
that there was even a talk of next Sunday, and of the Minster.
It was safely accomplished, and tired as she was, Margaret felt, as
she whispered to Alan, that he had now crowned all the joy that he had
brought to her.
Ethel used to watch them, and think how beautiful their countenances
were, and talk them over with her father, who was quite happy about them
now. She gave assistance, which Alan never once called unhandy, to all
his contrivances, and often floundered in upon his conferences with
Margaret, in a way that would have been very provoking, if she had not
always blushed and looked so excessively discomfited, and they had only
to laugh and reassure her.
Alan was struck by finding that the casual words spoken on the way from
Cocksmoor had been so strenuously acted on, and he brought on himself
a whole torrent of Ethel’s confused narratives, which Richard and Flora
would fain have checked; but Margaret let them continue, as she saw him
a willing listener, and was grateful to him for comprehending the ardent
girl.
He declared himself to have a share in the matter, reminding Ethel of
her appeal to him to bind himself to the service of Cocksmoor. He sent
a sovereign at once, to aid in a case of the sudden death of a pig; and
when securely established in his brotherly right, he begged Ethel to
let him know what would help her most. She stood colouring, twisting
her hands, and wondering what to say, whereupon he relieved her by a
proposal to leave an order for ten pounds, to be yearly paid into her
hands, as a fixed income for her school.
A thousand a year could hardly have been so much to Ethel. “Thank you!
Oh, this is charming! We could set up a regular school! Cherry Elwood is
the very woman! Alan, you have made our fortune! Oh, Margaret, Margaret!
I must go and tell Ritchie and Mary! This is the first real step to our
church and all!”
“May I do it?” said Alan, turning to Margaret, as Ethel frantically
burst out of the room; “perhaps I should have asked leave?”
“I was going to thank you,” said Margaret. “It is the very kindest thing
you could have done by dear Ethel! the greatest comfort to us. She will
be at peace now, when anything hinders her from going to Cocksmoor.”
“I wonder,” said Alan, musing, “whether we shall ever be able to help
her more substantially. I cannot do anything hastily, for you know
Maplewood is still in the hands of the executors, and I cannot tell what
claims there may be upon me; but by-and-by, when I return, if I find no
other pressing duty, might not a church at Cocksmoor be a thankoffering
for all I have found here?”
“Oh, Alan, what joy it would be!”
“It is a long way off,” he said sadly; “and perhaps her force of
perseverance will have prevailed alone.”
“I suppose I must not tell her, even as a vision.”
“It is too uncertain; I do not know the wants of the Maplewood people,
and I must provide for Hector. I would not let these vague dreams
interfere with her resolute work; but, Margaret, what a vision it is! I
can see you laying the first stone on that fine heathy brow.”
“Oh, your godchild should lay the first stone!”
“She shall, and you shall lead her. And there shall be Ethel’s sharp
face full of indescribable things as she marshals her children, and
Richard shall be curate, and read in his steady soft tone, and your
father shall look sunny with his boys around him, and you--”
“Oh, Alan,” said Margaret, who had been listening with a smile, “it is,
indeed, a long way off!”
“I shall look to it as the haven where I would be,” said the sailor.
They often spoke together of this scheme, ever decking it in brighter
colours. The topic seemed to suit them better than their own future, for
there was no dwelling on that without an occasional misgiving, and
the more glad the anticipation, the deeper the sigh that followed on
Margaret’s part, till Mr. Ernescliffe followed her lead, and they seldom
spoke of these uncertainties, but outwardly smiled over the present,
inwardly dwelt on the truly certain hopes. There were readings shared
together, made more precious than all, by the conversations that ensued.
The hour for parting came at last. Ethel never knew what passed in the
drawing-room, whence every one was carefully excluded. Dr. May wandered
about, keeping guard over the door, and watching the clock, till, at the
last moment, he knocked, and called in a trembling voice, “Ernescliffe!
Alan! it is past the quarter! You must not stay!”
The other farewells were hurried; Alan seemed voiceless, only nodding in
reply to Mary’s vociferous messages to Harry, and huskily whispering to
Ethel, “Good luck to Cocksmoor!”
The next moment the door had shut on him, and Dr. May and Flora had gone
to her sister, whom she found not tearful, but begging to be left alone.
When they saw her again, she was cheerful; she kept up her composure and
animation without flagging, nor did she discontinue her new exertions,
but seemed decidedly the happier for all that had passed.
Letters came every day for her, and presents to every one. Ethel had a
gold chain and eyeglass, which, it was hoped, might cure her of frowning
and stooping, though her various ways of dangling her new possession
caused her to be so much teased by Flora and Norman, that, but for
regard to Margaret’s feelings, she would not have worn it for three
days.
To Mary was sent a daguerreotype of Harry, her glory and delight. Say,
who would, that it had pig’s eyes, a savage frown, a pudding chin,
there were his own tight rings of hair, his gold-banded cap, his bright
buttons, how could she prize it enough? She exhibited it to the little
ones ten times a day, she kissed it night and morning, and registered
her vow always to sleep with it under her “pilow,” in a letter of
thanks, which Margaret defended and despatched, in spite of Miss
Winter’s horrors at its disregard of orthography.
It was nearly the last letter before the Alcestis was heard of at
Spithead. Then she sailed; she sent in her letters to Plymouth, and her
final greetings by a Falmouth cutter--poor Harry’s wild scrawl in pencil
looking very sea-sick.
“Dear papa and all, good-bye. We are out of sight of land. Three years,
and keep up a good heart. I shall soon be all right.
“Your H. MAY.”
It was enclosed in Mr. Ernescliffe’s envelope, and with it came
tidings that Harry’s brave spirit was not failing, even under untoward
circumstances, but he had struggled on deck, and tried to write,
when all his contemporaries had given in; in fact, he was a fine
fellow--every one liked him, and Captain Gordon, though chary of
commendation, had held him up to the other youngsters as an example of
knowing what a sailor was meant to be like.
Margaret smiled, and cried over the news when she imparted it--but all
serenely--and though she was glad to be alone, and wrote journals for
Alan, when she could not send letters, she exerted herself to be the
same sister as usual to the rest of the household, and not to give way
to her wandering musings.
From one subject her attention never strayed. Ethel had never found any
lack of sympathy in her for her Cocksmoor pursuits; but the change now
showed that, where once Margaret had been interested merely as a kind
sister, she now had a personal concern, and she threw herself into all
that related to it as her own chief interest and pursuit--becoming the
foremost in devising plans, and arranging the best means of using Mr.
Ernescliffe’s benefaction.
The Elwood family had grown in the good opinion of the Mays. Charity
had hobbled to church, leaning on her father’s arm, and being invited
to dinner in the kitchen, the acquaintance had been improved, and nurse
herself had pronounced her such a tidy, good sort of body, that it was
a pity she had met with such a misfortune. If Miss Ethel brought in
nothing but the like of her, they should be welcome; poor thing, how
tired she was!
Nurse’s opinions were apt to be sagacious, especially when in the face
of her prejudices, and this gave Margaret confidence. Cherry proved to
have been carefully taught by a good clergyman and his wife, and to
be of very different stamp from the persons to whom the girls were
accustomed. They were charmed with her, and eagerly offered to supply
her with books--respecting her the more when they found that Mr.
Hazlewood had already lent her their chief favourites. Other and greater
needs they had no power to fill up.
“It is so lone without the church bells, you see, miss,” said Mrs.
Elwood. “Our tower had a real fine peal, and my man was one of the
ringers. I seems quite lost without them, and there was Cherry, went
a’most every day with the children.”
“Every day!” cried Mary, looking at her with respect.
“It was so near,” said Cherry, “I could get there easy, and I got used
to it when I was at school.”
“Did it not take up a great deal of time?” said Ethel.
“Why, you see, ma’am, it came morning and night, out of working times,
and I can’t be stirring much.”
“Then you miss it sadly?” said Ethel.
“Yes, ma’am, it made the day go on well like, and settled a body’s mind,
when I fretted for what could not be helped. But I try not to fret after
it now, and Mr. Hazlewood said, if I did my best wherever I was, the
Lord would still join our prayers together.”
Mr. Hazlewood was recollected by Mr. Wilmot as an old college friend,
and a correspondence with him fully confirmed the favourable estimate of
the Elwoods, and was decisive in determining that the day-school, with
Alan’s ten pounds as salary, and a penny a week from each child, should
be offered to Cherry.
Mr. Hazlewood answered for her sound excellence, and aptitude for
managing little children, though he did not promise genius, such as
should fulfil the requirements of modern days. With these Cocksmoor
could dispense at present; Cherry was humbly gratified, and her parents
delighted with the honour and profit; there was a kitchen which afforded
great facilities, and Richard and his carpenter managed the fitting to
admiration; Margaret devised all manner of useful arrangements, settled
matters with great earnestness, saw Cherry frequently, discussed plans,
and learned the history and character of each child, as thoroughly as
Ethel herself. Mr. Ramsden himself came to the opening of the school,
and said so much of the obligations of Cocksmoor to the young ladies,
that Ethel would not have known which way to look, if Flora had not
kindly borne the brunt of his compliments.
Every one was pleased, except Mrs. Green, who took upon herself to set
about various malicious reports of Cherry Elwood; but nobody cared for
them, except Mrs. Elwood, who flew into such passions, that Ethel was
quite disappointed in her, though not in Cherry, who meekly tried to
silence her mother, begged the young ladies not to be vexed, and showed
a quiet dignity that soon made the shafts of slander fall inoffensively.
All went well; there was a school instead of a hubbub, clean faces
instead of dirty, shining hair instead of wild elf-locks, orderly
children instead of little savages. The order and obedience that Ethel
could not gain in six months, seemed impressed in six days by Cherry;
the neat work made her popular with the mothers, her firm gentleness
won the hearts of the children, and the kitchen was filled not only with
boys and girls from the quarry, but with some little ones from outlying
cottages of Fordholm and Abbotstoke, and there was even a smart little
farmer, who had been unbearable at home.
Margaret’s unsuccessful bath-chair was lent to Cherry, and in it her
scholars drew her to Stoneborough every Sunday, and slowly began to
redeem their character with the ladies, who began to lose the habit of
shrinking out of their way--the Stoneborough children did so instead;
and Flora and Ethel were always bringing home stories of injustice
to their scholars, fancied or real, and of triumphs in their having
excelled any national school girl. The most stupid children at Cocksmoor
always seemed to them wise in comparison with the Stoneborough girls,
and the Sunday-school might have become to Ethel a school of rivalry,
if Richard had not opened her eyes by a quiet observation, that the town
girls seemed to fare as ill with her, as the Cocksmoor girls did with
the town ladies. Then she caught herself up, tried to be candid, and
found that she was not always impartial in her judgments. Why would
competition mingle even in the best attempts?
Cherry did not so bring forward her scholars that Ethel could have many
triumphs of this dangerous kind. Indeed, Ethel was often vexed with
her; for though she taught needlework admirably, and enforced correct
reading, and reverent repetition, her strong provincial dialect was a
stumbling-block; she could not put questions without book, and nothing
would teach her Ethel’s rational system of arithmetic. That she was a
capital dame, and made the children very good, was allowed; but now and
then, when mortified by hearing what was done at Stoneborough, Fordholm,
or Abbotstoke, Ethel would make vigorous efforts, which resulted only in
her coming home fuming at Cherry’s “outrageous dullness.”
These railings always hurt Margaret, who had made Cherry almost into a
friend, and generally liked to have a visit from her during the
Sunday, when she always dined with the servants. Then school questions,
Cocksmoor news, and the tempers of the children, were talked over, and
Cherry was now and then drawn into home reminiscences, and descriptions
of the ways of her former school. There was no fear of spoiling
her--notice from her superiors was natural to her, and she had the
lady-likeness of womanly goodness, so as never to go beyond her own
place. She had had many trials too, and Margaret learned the true
history of them, as she won Cherry’s confidence, and entered into them,
feeling their likeness, yet dissimilarity, to her own.
Cherry had been a brisk happy girl in a good place, resting in one of
the long engagements that often extend over half the life of a servant,
enjoying the nod of her baker as he left his bread, and her walk from
church with him on alternate Sundays. But poor Cherry had been exposed
to the perils of window-cleaning; and, after a frightful fall, had
wakened to find herself in a hospital, and her severe sufferings had
left her a cripple for life.
And the baker had not been an Alan Ernescliffe! She did not complain of
him--he had come to see her, and had been much grieved, but she had
told him she could never be a useful wife; and, before she had used her
crutches, he was married to her pretty fellow-servant.
Cherry spoke very simply; she hoped it was better for Long, and believed
Susan would make him a good wife. Ethel would have thought she did not
feel, but Margaret knew better.
She stroked the thin slight fingers, and gently said, “Poor Cherry!” and
Cherry wiped away a tear, and said, “Yes, ma’am, thank you, it is best
for him. I should not have wished him to grieve for what cannot be
helped.”
“Resignation is the great comfort.”
“Yes, ma’am. I have a great deal to be thankful for. I don’t blame no
one, but I do see how some, as are married, seem to get to think more of
this world; and now and then I fancy I can see how it is best for me as
it is.”
Margaret sighed, as she remembered certain thoughts before Alan’s
return.
“Then, ma’am, there has been such goodness! I did vex at being a poor
helpless thing, nothing but a burden on father; and when we had to go
from home, and Mr. and Mrs. Hazlewood and all, I can’t tell you how bad
it was, ma’am.”
“Then you are comforted now?”
“Yes, ma’am,” said Cherry, brightening. “It seems as if He had given me
something to do, and there are you, and Mr. Richard, and Miss Ethel,
to help. I should like, please God, to be of some good to those poor
children.”
“I am sure you will, Cherry; I wish I could do as much.”
Cherry’s tears had come again. “Ah! ma’am, you--” and she stopped short,
and rose to depart. Margaret held out her hand to wish her good-bye.
“Please, miss, I was thinking how Mr. Hazlewood said that God fits our
place to us, and us to our place.”
“Thank you, Cherry, you are leaving me something to remember.”
And Margaret lay questioning with herself, whether the schoolmistress
had not been the most self-denying of the two; but withal gazing on the
hoop of pearls which Alan had chosen as the ring of betrothal.
“The pearl of great price,” murmured she to herself; “if we hold that,
the rest will soon matter but little. It remaineth that both they that
have wives, be as they that have none, and they that weep, as though
they wept not, and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not! If
ever Alan and I have a home together upon earth, may all too confident
joy be tempered by the fears that we have begun with! I hope this
probation may make me less likely to be taken up with the cares and
pleasures of his position than I might have been last year. He is one
who can best help the mind to go truly upward. But oh, that voyage!”