forward._]
AMERICAN. What sort of a physiognomy has it, anyway?
LITTLE MAN [_still faintly_]. I don't see anything but--but spots.
GERMAN. Oh! Ha! Pfui! [_The DUTCH YOUTH laughs._]
AMERICAN. I am told that is not uncommon amongst babies. Perhaps we
could have you inform us, ma'am.
ENGLISHWOMAN. Yes, of course--only--what sort of--
LITTLE MAN. They seem all over its--[_At the slight recoil of
everyone._] I feel sure it's--it's quite a good baby underneath.
AMERICAN. That will be ruther difficult to come at. I'm just a bit
sensitive. I've vurry little use for affections of the epidermis.
GERMAN. Pfui! [_He has edged away as far as he can get, and is
lighting a big cigar. The DUTCH YOUTH draws his legs back._]
AMERICAN [_also taking out a cigar_]. I guess it would be well to
fumigate this carriage. Does it suffer, do you think?
LITTLE MAN [_peering_]. Really, I don't--I'm not sure--I know so
little about babies. I think it would have a nice expression--if--if
it showed.
AMERICAN. Is it kind of boiled-looking?
LITTLE MAN. Yes--yes, it is.
AMERICAN [_looking gravely round_]. I judge this baby has the measles.
[_The GERMAN screws himself spasmodically against the arm of the
ENGLISHWOMAN's seat._]
ENGLISHWOMAN. Poor little thing! Shall I--? [_She half-rises._]
ENGLISHMAN [_touching her_]. No, no--Dash it!
AMERICAN. I honor your emotion, ma'am. It does credit to us all. But I
sympathize with your husband too. The measles is a vurry important
pestilence in connection with a grown woman.
LITTLE MAN. It likes my finger awfully. Really, it's rather a sweet
baby.
AMERICAN [_sniffing_]. Well, that would appear to be quite a question.
About them spots, now? Are they rosy?
LITTLE MAN. No--o; they're dark, almost black.
GERMAN. Gott! Typhus! [_He bounds up onto the arm of the
ENGLISHWOMAN's seat._]
AMERICAN. Typhus! That's quite an indisposition! [_The DUTCH YOUTH
rises suddenly, and bolts out into the corridor. He is followed by the
GERMAN, puffing clouds of smoke. The ENGLISH and AMERICAN sit a moment
longer without speaking. The ENGLISHWOMAN's face is turned with a
curious expression--half-pity, half-fear--toward the LITTLE MAN. Then
the ENGLISHMAN gets up._]
ENGLISHMAN. Bit stuffy for you here, dear, isn't it? [_He puts his arm
through hers, raises her, and almost pushes her through the doorway.
She goes, still looking back._]
AMERICAN [_gravely_]. There's nothing I admire more'n courage. Guess
I'll go and smoke in the corridor. [_As he goes out the LITTLE MAN
looks very wistfully after him. Screwing up his mouth and nose, he
holds the BABY away from him and wavers; then rising, he puts it on
the seat opposite and goes through the motions of letting down the
window. Having done so he looks at the BABY, who has begun to wail.
Suddenly he raises his hands and clasps them, like a child praying.
Since, however, the BABY does not stop wailing, he hovers over it in
indecision; then, picking it up, sits down again to dandle it, with
his face turned toward the open window. Finding that it still wails,
he begins to sing to it in a cracked little voice. It is charmed at
once. While he is singing, the AMERICAN appears in the corridor.
Letting down the passage window, he stands there in the doorway with
the draught blowing his hair and the smoke of his cigar all about him.
The LITTLE MAN stops singing and shifts the shawl higher, to protect
the BABY's head from the draught._]
AMERICAN [_gravely_]. This is the most sublime spectacle I have ever
envisaged. There ought to be a record of this. [_The LITTLE MAN looks
at him, wondering._] We have here a most stimulating epitome of our
marvelous advance toward universal brotherhood. You are typical, sir,
of the sentiments of modern Christianity. You illustrate the deepest
feelings in the heart of every man. [_The LITTLE MAN rises with the
BABY and a movement of approach._] Guess I'm wanted in the dining-car.
[_He vanishes._] [_The LITTLE MAN sits down again, but back to the
engine, away from the draught, and looks out of the window, patiently
jogging the BABY on his knee._]
_SCENE III.--An arrival platform. The LITTLE MAN, with the BABY and
the bundle, is standing disconsolate, while travelers pass and luggage
is being carried by. A STATION OFFICIAL, accompanied by a POLICEMAN,
appears from a doorway, behind him._
OFFICIAL [_consulting telegram in his hand_]. Das ist der Herr. [_They
advance to the LITTLE MAN._]
OFFICIAL. Sie haben einen Buben gestohlen?
LITTLE MAN. I only speak English and American.
OFFICIAL. Dies ist nicht Ihr Bube? [_He touches the BABY._]
LITTLE MAN [_shaking his head_]. Take care--it's ill. [_The man does
not understand._] Ill--the baby--
OFFICIAL [_shaking his head_]. Verstehe nicht. Dis is nod your baby?
No?
LITTLE MAN [_shaking his head violently_]. No, it is not. No.
OFFICIAL [_tapping the telegram_]. Gut! You are 'rested. [_He signs to
the POLICEMAN, who takes the LITTLE MAN's arm._]
LITTLE MAN. Why? I don't want the poor baby.
OFFICIAL [_lifting the bundle_]. Dies ist nicht Ihr Gepaeck--pag?
LITTLE MAN. No.
OFFICIAL. Gut. You are 'rested.
LITTLE MAN. I only took it for the poor woman. I'm not a
thief--I'm--I'm--
OFFICIAL [_shaking head_]. Verstehe nicht. [_The LITTLE MAN tries to
tear his hair. The disturbed BABY wails._]
LITTLE MAN [_dandling it as best he can_]. There, there--poor, poor!
OFFICIAL. Halt still! You are 'rested. It is all right.
LITTLE MAN. Where is the mother?
OFFICIAL. She comm by next drain. Das telegram say: Halt einen Herrn
mit schwarzem Buben and schwarzem Gepaeck. 'Rest gentleman mit black
baby und black--pag. [_The LITTLE MAN turns up his eyes to heaven._]
OFFICIAL. Komm mit us. [_They take the LITTLE MAN toward the door from
which they have come. A voice stops them._]
AMERICAN [_speaking from as far away as may be_]. Just a moment! [_The
OFFICIAL stops; the LITTLE MAN also stops and sits down on a bench
against the wall. The POLICEMAN stands stolidly beside him. The
AMERICAN approaches a step or two, beckoning; the OFFICIAL goes up to
him._]
AMERICAN. Guess you've got an angel from heaven there! What's the
gentleman in buttons for?
OFFICIAL. Was ist das?
AMERICAN. Is there anybody here that can understand Amurrican?
OFFICIAL. Verstehe nicht.
AMERICAN. Well, just watch my gestures. I was saying [_he points to
the LITTLE MAN, then makes gestures of flying_], you have an angel
from heaven there. You have there a man in whom Gawd [_he points
upward_] takes quite an amount of stock. This is a vurry precious man.
You have no call to arrest him [_he makes the gesture of arrest_]. No,
sir. Providence has acted pretty mean, loading off that baby on him
[_he makes the motion of dandling_]. The little man has a heart of
gold. [_He points to his heart, and takes out a gold coin._]
OFFICIAL [_thinking he is about to be bribed_]. Aber, das ist _zu_
viel!
AMERICAN. Now, don't rattle me! [_Pointing to the LITTLE MAN._] Man
[_pointing to his heart_] Herz [_pointing to the coin_] von Gold. This
is a flower of the field--he don't want no gentleman in buttons to
pluck him up. [_A little crowd is gathering, including the two
ENGLISH, the GERMAN, and the DUTCH YOUTH._]
OFFICIAL. Verstehe absolut nichts. [_He taps the telegram._] Ich muss
mein duty do.
AMERICAN. But I'm telling you. This is a good man. This is probably
the best man on Gawd's airth.
OFFICIAL. Das macht nichts--gut or no gut, I muss mein duty do. [_He
turns to go toward the LITTLE MAN._]
AMERICAN. Oh! Vurry well, arrest him; do your duty. This baby has
typhus. [_At the word "typhus" the OFFICIAL stops._]
AMERICAN [_making gestures_]. First-class typhus, black typhus,
schwarzen typhus. Now you have it. I'm kind o' sorry for you and the
gentleman in buttons. Do your duty!
OFFICIAL. Typhus? Der Bub'--die baby hat typhus?
AMERICAN. I'm telling you.
OFFICIAL. Gott im Himmel!
AMERICAN [_spotting the GERMAN in the little throng_]. Here's a
gentleman will corroborate me.
OFFICIAL [_much disturbed, and signing to the POLICEMAN to stand
clear_]. Typhus! Aber das ist graesslich!
AMERICAN. I kind o' thought you'd feel like that.
OFFICIAL. Die Sanitaetsmachine! Gleich! [_A PORTER goes to get it. From
either side the broken half-moon of persons stand gazing at the LITTLE
MAN, who sits unhappily dandling the BABY in the center._]
OFFICIAL [_raising his hands_]. Was zu thun?
AMERICAN. Guess you'd better isolate the baby. [_A silence, during
which the LITTLE MAN is heard faintly whistling and clucking to the
BABY._]
OFFICIAL [_referring once more to his telegram_]. 'Rest gentleman mit
black baby. [_Shaking his head._] Wir must de gentleman hold. [_To the
GERMAN._] Bitte, mein Herr, sagen Sie ihm, den Buben zu niedersetzen.
[_He makes the gesture of deposit._]
GERMAN [_to the LITTLE MAN_]. He say: Put down the baby. [_The LITTLE
MAN shakes his head, and continues to dandle the BABY._]
OFFICIAL. Sie muessen--you must. [_The LITTLE MAN glowers, in
silence._]
ENGLISHMAN [_in background--muttering_]. Good man!
GERMAN. His spirit ever denies; er will nicht.
OFFICIAL [_again making his gesture_]. Aber er muss! [_The LITTLE MAN
makes a face at him._] Sag' ihm: Instantly put down baby, and komm'
mit us. [_The BABY wails._]
LITTLE MAN. Leave the poor ill baby here alone? Be-be-be-d--d first!
AMERICAN [_jumping onto a trunk--with enthusiasm_]. Bully! [_The
ENGLISH clap their hands; the DUTCH YOUTH laughs. The OFFICIAL is
muttering, greatly incensed._]
AMERICAN. What does that body-snatcher say?
GERMAN. He say this man use the baby to save himself from arrest. Very
smart--he say.
AMERICAN. I judge you do him an injustice. [_Showing off the LITTLE
MAN with a sweep of his arm._] This is a vurry white man. He's got a
black baby, and he won't leave it in the lurch. Guess we would all act
noble, that way, give us the chance. [_The LITTLE MAN rises, holding
out the BABY, and advances a step or two. The half-moon at once gives,
increasing its size; the AMERICAN climbs onto a higher trunk. The
LITTLE MAN retires and again sits down._]
AMERICAN [_addressing the OFFICIAL_]. Guess you'd better go out of
business and wait for the mother.
OFFICIAL [_stamping his foot_]. Die Mutter sall 'rested be for taking
out baby mit typhus. Ha! [_To the LITTLE MAN._] Put ze baby down!
[_The LITTLE MAN smiles._] Do you 'ear?
AMERICAN [_addressing the OFFICIAL_]. Now, see here. 'Pears to me you
don't suspicion just how beautiful this is. Here we have a man giving
his life for that old baby that's got no claim on him. This is not a
baby of his own making. No, sir, this a vurry Christ-like proposition
in the gentleman.
OFFICIAL. Put ze baby down, or ich will gommand someone it to do.
AMERICAN. That will be vurry interesting to watch.
OFFICIAL [_to POLICEMAN_]. Nehmen Sie den Buben. Dake it vrom him.
[_The POLICEMAN mutters, but does not._]
AMERICAN [_to the GERMAN_]. Guess I lost that.
GERMAN. He say he is not his officer.
AMERICAN. That just tickles me to death.
OFFICIAL [_looking round_]. Vill nobody dake ze Bub'?
ENGLISHWOMAN [_moving a step--faintly_]. Yes--I--
ENGLISHMAN [_grasping her arm_]. By Jove! Will you!
OFFICIAL [_gathering himself for a great effort to take the BABY, and
advancing two steps_]. Zen I gommand you--[_He stops and his voice
dies away._] Zit dere!
AMERICAN. My! That's wonderful. What a man this is! What a sublime
sense of duty! [_The DUTCH YOUTH laughs. The OFFICIAL turns on him,
but as he does so the MOTHER of the BABY is seen hurrying._]
MOTHER. Ach! Ach! Mei' Bubi! [_Her face is illumined; she is about to
rush to the LITTLE MAN._]
OFFICIAL [_to the POLICEMAN_]. Nimm die Frau! [_The POLICEMAN catches
hold of the WOMAN._]
OFFICIAL [_to the frightened WOMAN_]. Warum haben Sie einen Buben mit
Typhus mit ausgebracht?
AMERICAN [_eagerly, from his perch_]. What was that? I don't want to
miss any.
GERMAN. He say: Why did you a baby with typhus with you bring out?
AMERICAN. Well, that's quite a question. [_He takes out the
field-glasses slung around him and adjusts them on the BABY._]
MOTHER [_bewildered_], Mei' Bubi--Typhus--aber Typhus? [_She shakes
her head violently._] Nein, nein, nein! Typhus!
OFFICIAL. Er hat Typhus.
MOTHER [_shaking her head_]. Nein, nein, nein!
AMERICAN [_looking through his glasses_]. Guess she's kind of right! I
judge the typhus is where the baby's slobbered on the shawl, and it's
come off on him. [_The DUTCH YOUTH laughs._]
OFFICIAL [_turning on him furiously_]. Er hat Typhus.
AMERICAN. Now, that's where you slop over. Come right here. [_The
OFFICIAL mounts, and looks through the glasses._]
AMERICAN [_to the LITTLE MAN_]. Skin out the baby's leg. If we don't
locate spots on that, it'll be good enough for me. [_The LITTLE MAN
fumbles out the BABY's little white foot._]
MOTHER. Mei' Bubi! [_She tries to break away._]
AMERICAN. White as a banana. [_To the OFFICIAL--affably._] Guess
you've made kind of a fool of us with your old typhus.
OFFICIAL. Lass die Frau! [_The POLICEMAN lets her go, and she rushes
to her BABY._]
MOTHER. Mei' Bubi! [_The BABY, exchanging the warmth of the LITTLE MAN
for the momentary chill of its MOTHER, wails._]
OFFICIAL [_descending and beckoning to the POLICEMAN_]. Sie wollen den
Herrn accusiren? [_The POLICEMAN takes the LITTLE MAN's arm._]
AMERICAN. What's that? They goin' to pinch him after all? [_The
MOTHER, still hugging her BABY, who has stopped crying, gazes at the
LITTLE MAN, who sits dazedly looking up. Suddenly she drops on her
knees, and with her free hand lifts his booted foot and kisses it._]
AMERICAN [_waving his hat_]. 'Ra! 'Ra! [_He descends swiftly, goes up
to the LITTLE MAN, whose arm the POLICEMAN has dropped, and takes his
hand._] Brother, I am proud to know you. This is one of the greatest
moments I have ever experienced. [_Displaying the LITTLE MAN to the
assembled company._] I think I sense the situation when I say that we
all esteem it an honor to breathe the rather inferior atmosphere of
this station here along with our little friend. I guess we shall all
go home and treasure the memory of his face as the whitest thing in
our museum of recollections. And perhaps this good woman will also go
home and wash the face of our little brother here. I am inspired with
a new faith in mankind. We can all be proud of this mutual experience;
we have our share in it; we can kind of feel noble. Ladies and
gentlemen, I wish to present to you a sure-enough saint--only wants a
halo, to be transfigured. [_To the LITTLE MAN._] Stand right up. [_The
LITTLE MAN stands up bewildered. They come about him. The OFFICIAL
bows to him, the POLICEMAN salutes him. The DUTCH YOUTH shakes his
head and laughs. The GERMAN draws himself up very straight, and bows
quickly twice. The ENGLISHMAN and his wife approach at least two
steps, then, thinking better of it, turn to each other and recede. The
MOTHER kisses his hand. The PORTER returning with the Sanitaetsmachine,
turns it on from behind, and its pinkish shower, goldened by a ray of
sunlight, falls around the LITTLE MAN's head, transfiguring it as he
stands with eyes upraised to see whence the portent comes._]
AMERICAN [_rushing forward and dropping on his knees_]. Hold on just a
minute! Guess I'll take a snap-shot of the miracle. [_He adjusts his
pocket camera._] This ought to look bully!
[THE CURTAIN.]