THE BACHELOR'S VADE-MECUM.

To obviate the difficulties and remove the perplexing doubts of cautious

men, myself and a party of friends, who have a large acquaintance in

London and its vicinity, propose publishing a work in monthly parts,

which we mean to entitle "The Bachelor's Vade-mecum, or a sure guide to

a good match." It will contain a list of all genuine and undoubted

heiresses in the metropolis, and within ten miles around it, and of

those ladies whose fortune depends on contingencies: as our

correspondence and information increase, we shall hope to extend the

circle of our inquiries, and we solicit those communications and

assistances which the extent and utility of our plan require and

deserve. Notices will be given of all who drop off by death and

marriage, and of those whose value may be unexpectedly increased by a

legacy, or a sister or brother's decease. Particular attention will be

paid to rich widows.--The first part of this truly useful work is nearly

ready for the press; and we flatter ourselves that its arrangement and

execution will excite universal applause. The particulars concerning

each lady will be distributed under four heads; the first will be

devoted to her fortune and expectations; the second to a description of

her person; the third to non-essentials; and under the fourth will be

found hints as to the readiest means of approach, cautions against

offending peculiar tastes or prejudices, and much interesting and

valuable information.--A more clear idea, however, of our scheme will be

conveyed by subjoining a few specimens taken at random from our first

number, which will contain about seventy-five articles.

No. 14.

_Fortune_.--10,000_l_. certain, left by a grandfather; two brothers have

the same, one of whom is likely to die before he is of age, which would

produce 5,000_l_. more. The father in business, supposed to live up to

his income. A rich, single aunt, but not on terms, on account of No.

14's love of waltzing. A prudent husband might easily effect a

reconciliation.

_Person_.--Fair, with red hair, and freckled, nose depressed, brow

contracted, figure good, two false teeth.

_Non-essentials_.--Bad-tempered, economical almost to parsimony. Sings a

great deal, but has no voice. Dances well; a Roman Catholic.

_Miscellaneous Information_.--Fond of winning at cards. A particular

dislike to large whiskers; disapproves of hunting; makes her own gowns,

and likes to have them admired.

No. 26.

_Fortune_.--16,000_l_. from her father, who is dead, and 10,000_l_. more

certain on the death of her mother, who is at present ill. It is hoped

that her complaint is dropsy, but more information on this point shall

be given in our next Number.

_Person_.--Fair, with fine blue eyes, good teeth, beautiful light hair.

Tall and well made. Hands and feet bad.

_Non-essentials_.--Weak in understanding, and rather ungovernable in

temper. Has been taught all fashionable accomplishments; plays well on

the harp; sings Italian. Bites her nails, cannot pronounce her h's, and

misplaces her v's and w's. Her father was a butcher.

_Miscellaneous Information_.--Keeps a recipe-book, and is fond of

prescribing for colds and tooth-aches. Has a great dislike to lawyers.

Eats onions. Fond of bull-finches and canary-birds. Collects seals.

Attends lectures on chemistry. Sits with her mouth open.

No. 43.

_Fortune_.--60,000_l_. in her own disposal.

_Person_.--Aquiline nose, large dark eyes, tall and thin. Fine teeth and

hair, supposed false; but the lady's-maid has high wages, and has not

yet been brought to confess.

_Non-essentials_.--Plays well on the piano. Good-tempered. Aged

sixty-three. Evangelical, and a blue-stocking.

_Miscellaneous Information_.--Dislikes military and naval men. Fond of

hares and trout. Has a great objection to waltzing. Aunt to No. 14. A

prudent man might easily widen the breach between them. Attends

Bible-meetings and charity-schools. Lame of one leg.

No. 61.

_Fortune_.--An only child; father a widower, with landed property to the

amount of 1,500_l_. per annum, and 40,000_l_. in the Three per Cents. It

is possible he may marry again, but it is hoped that this may not occur.

The daughter lives with a maternal aunt.

_Person_.--A decidedly handsome brunette. Tall, and well made.

_Non-essentials_.--Charitable almost beyond her means; from which, and

her wishing her father to marry, she is supposed to be extremely weak.

Temper excellent; said to be well educated, but of too retiring a

disposition to allow of our discovering the fact without more trouble

than the matter is worth.

_Miscellaneous Information_.--Fond of the country. Goes twice to church

on Sundays; but this affords no opportunity to a lover, as she never

looks about her. Has an uncle a bishop, which may recommend her to a

clergyman.

Every person who has directed his attention to the subject, must

perceive at a glance the immense utility of a work of this nature,

conducted, as it will be, by men who pledge their characters on the

correctness of the information they convey. When a bachelor decides on

marriage, by running over a few pages of our work, he will, in half an

hour, be able to select a desirable match; by applying at our office,

and giving testimonials of his respectability, he will receive the

lady's name and address; and he may then pursue his object with a calm

tranquillity of mind, a settled determination of purpose, which are in

themselves the heralds and pledges of success. Or, should he meet in

society a lady who pleases his taste, before resigning himself to his

admiration, he will make inquiries at our office as to the number under

which we have placed her in our list; and should she be of too little

value to deserve a place in it, he will vigorously root her from his

imagination, and suffer himself no longer to hover round her perilous

charms, "come al lume farfalla."--_New Monthly Magazine_.

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The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 12, No. 327, August 16, 1828 · 第 30 / 38 题