BECKY AND BITHEY.

NO pleasanter place than Mrs. Meatyard’s dairy was to be found at any

hour of the summer’s day; but it was a busy place too. At early dawn the

clatter of bright cans and the lowing of cows in the adjacent yard

announced milking time, and men came staggering in with great foaming

pails of milk and poured it, sweet and warm, into the shallow tins

prepared for it. A little later mistress and maid alike were busy

skimming the thick folds of last night’s cream. On churning days the

regular _splash_, _splash_ in the outer milk-house was the forerunner of

the pleasant labour of butter-making. On cheese days the huge vat had to

be filled with gallons and gallons of milk, and then the rennet carefully

measured out, and then Mrs. Meatyard and Rebecca took it in turns to

“work” the curds; and what with this working, and putting the curds into

presses, and running off the whey, and cleaning up afterwards, a body, as

Rebecca frequently said, would be better off with four pair of hands nor

with one.

Nevertheless there was something cheerful and delightful even to the

workers about the bustle and stir—the sight of the rich milk, the faintly

sour smell of the curds, the pure, sweet air that circled round hot faces

through the wide open door, the little shifting lights and shades that

played about shining tins and whitewashed walls as the branches of the

trees that surrounded the house were set dancing in the wind. Yes,

Thorncombe Dairy was a pleasant place, and never more so than on this

particular June afternoon, when the roses outside the milk-house door

were in full bloom, and the sweet odours of the old-fashioned flowers in

the borders beneath the windows came floating in to mingle with the

homelier scents within.

Mrs. Meatyard had duly “cleaned herself” and changed her dress, and now,

with the cuffs of her stuff gown turned up, was delicately enswathing

roll after roll of golden butter in small squares of gauze, and packing

them, when thus protected, in baskets ready for to-morrow’s market. Old

Rebecca was busy at the other end with scrubbing-brush and pail,

“swilling down” the shelves. Her spare form was encased in a somewhat

faded cotton garment, the sleeves of which were rolled up high; the

sparse wisps of her grey hair were ruffled and untidy, but her ruddy,

wrinkled old face was cheery and good-tempered, and she crooned a song to

herself as she scrubbed the boards.

In the outer milk-house one of the labourers was also at work cleaning

up, hissing as he used the broom as though he were rubbing down a horse,

and every now and then making a great clatter with the piled-up cans.

Through the open door the imposing form of the “master” could be seen

leaning over the gate which opened into the farmyard, contemplating the

operations of two of the farm hands who were engaged in cleaning an

outhouse. On the cobble-stones near his feet pigeons were strutting up

and down, bowing and cooing; a little group of calves lay sunning

themselves in a corner of the yard, flapping their ears and waving their

tails as the flies teased them. Cocks and hens were crowing and

clucking, pigs were grunting, sheep and lambs in the pasture behind the

house were bleating, bees in the lime-blossom were humming, and

throughout all the din of outdoor life Rebecca’s quavering, voice could

be plainly heard:—

For Do’set dear

Then gi’e woone cheer;

D’ye hear? Woone cheer.

But louder even than her ditty sounded all at once a shrill, tuneful

whistle, and the head of a young man came presently in sight, moving

rapidly along the irregular line of hedge that divided the farm premises

from the lane; and presently the owner of the head rounded the corner and

entered the yard.

“’Tis you, Charl’?” observed Farmer Meatyard, without removing his pipe

from his mouth. “You be come in nice time to fetch cows up.”

“Jist what I was a-thinkin’,” said Charl’. “I was kept a bit longer in

town nor I looked for, but I did hear sich a funny bit o’ noos.”

“Did ’ee now?” inquired his father, much interested.

“’Ees, I do ’low I did. That there new show as they be all a-talkin’

about—the Agricultural Show they calls it—ye wouldn’t never think what

they be goin’ to give a prize for.”

“Why, I did hear, all sarts,” returned the father a trifle impatiently.

“Harses and cattle and pigs, and cheese and butter—all they kind o’

things. There bain’t nothin’ so very wonderful i’ that. ’Tis much same

as other shows—voolish work, I reckon it. Ye mid have the best harse, or

the best milkin’ cow in the countryside, and yet they wouldn’t give en a

prize. Nay, they’d sooner gi’e it to some strange beast from Bourne or

Templecombe or some sich place.”

“Well, but ye haven’t heard my tale yet,” cried the son. “Jist you try

to guess the last thing as I’ve heared they be a-goin’ to give a prize

for. ’Tis somethin’ livin’—I’ll tell ’ee that much, and it isn’t neither

a harse nor a cow, nor a pig, nor anything as ye’d think likely.”

“A bull?” suggested Farmer Meatyard, who was not an imaginative man.

“Nay now; when I said a cow I meant male or faymale. It bain’t nothin’

o’ that kind, nor yet cocks and hens. Ye’ll never guess—’tis the

queerest thing! Call Mother, and let her see if she can have a shot at

it.”

“Come here, Missus!” shouted the farmer excitedly. “Come here and give

your opinion. Here’s Charl’ come back from town, and he do say they be

a-goin’ to give a prize at this ’ere noo Show as is a-comin’ off next

month for summat altogether out o’ the common. ’Tis alive, he says, but

’tis neither bird nor beast as I can hear of.”

“Wait a bit,” said Mrs. Meatyard, folding her hands at her waist, and

looking out of the rose-framed milk-house door with placid interest.

“Now—I have it! Bees!”

“No. Bless you, Mother, there bain’t nothin’ wonderful nor yet funny

about bees.”

“Dear heart alive, what a tease the lad be! Is it a handsome thing,

Charl’, or an oncommon thing?”

“’Tis neither one nor t’other,” replied Charl’, exploding with laughter.

“There, I’d best tell you, for you’d never guess. ’Tis a wold ’ooman.”

“Ah, get away, do!” growled his father, much disgusted. “Don’t ’ee go

for to tell I sich cock-and-bull stories. A wold ’ooman—who’d go for to

give a prize for sich as that?”

“’Tis true, though,” retorted Charl’, “’twas in every one’s mouth. A

prize, they do say, will be given for the woldest faymale farm servant.”

“Well, to be sure,” ejaculated his mother, “I’ve heard o’ prizes bein’

give for the finest baby, and somebody did tell I once about a prize

bein’ give for the beautifullest young girl, but I never did hear o’

givin’ prizes for wold folks.”

“’Tisn’t raysonable, I don’t think,” commented her lord. “Nay, it do

seem a foolish kind o’ notion. Why, if they do go encouragin’ o’ the

wold hags that way, they’ll live for ever!”

“I shouldn’t wonder,” cried Mrs. Meatyard, disregarding him, “if our

Rebecca didn’t have so good a chance as any one. She’s a good age,

Rebecca is. Ah, I shouldn’t wonder a bit if Rebecca was to get it. I

think she is the woldest woman in these parts, without it’s Mr. Sharp’s

Bithey.”

“Becky!” screamed Charl’ ecstatically. “Becky! Come here a minute.

I’ve brought some good news for ’ee.”

Becky came to the door, wiping her soapy arms with her coarse apron, and

smiling pleasantly if toothlessly at the young man, who was a favourite

with her.

“Becky,” cried he, “how would ’ee like for to win a prize at the new Show

what’s to be given in the Royal George’s grounds next month? There,

Mother thinks you have got so good a chance as any one.”

“I did hear as they was a-goin’ to give a prize for butter,” said

Rebecca; “but all as comes out of this ’ere house be Missus’s makin’. I

wasn’t never no great hand at it. Nay, I can milk and skim and churn

right enough; but I haven’t Missus’s hand on butter.”

“It bain’t the butter prize as I mean,” cried Charl’. “They be a-goin’

to give a prize for the woldest ’ooman-servant. I heared it wi’ my own

ears, and the prize is to be a butter-dish, and you’ve just so good a

right to it, Becky, as any other. Better! For I don’t believe there’s

sich another old witch in the country.”

“Ye’re an impident chap, Charl’,” cried Rebecca, somewhat offended. “I

don’t want to listen to sich a pack of rubbish! There, I’ve a-got summat

else to do. Ye mid keep a civil tongue in yer head, I think. Witch,

says he! Tell him to go and drive cows up, Master, else we shan’t get

through with our work this day.”

“I’ll go and drive cows up right enough,” said the youth; “but ye needn’t

be so highty-tighty, Beck! ’Tis truth as I be a-tellin’ ’ee. Every one

be a-talkin’ of it in town.”

“Dear, to be sure!” ejaculated Rebecca, partially convinced, but looking

to her mistress for confirmation of the strange statement.

“It do seem queer,” returned Mrs. Meatyard; “but it’s true, Becky; and as

I was a-sayin’, I think you ought to try for it. You be turned seventy,

bain’t you?”

“I reckon I must be,” said the old woman, ruminating. “My hair have been

white this twenty year and more, d’ye see; and I haven’t a tooth in my

head. I must be a tremenjious age, sure!”

“’Tis a bit hard to tell wi’ such as you, Beck,” remarked Farmer

Meatyard, contemplating her thoughtfully. “You do seem to be sich a

dried-up wold stick—ah, and have been so ever since I knowed ye. Ye’ve

never looked a bit different since ye come to this ’ere village. How

long ago was that, can you mind?”

“Well, now, ’tis a bit hard to reckon, Master—one year do seem so like

another, and the days do follow each other so fast. I lived down at

Childe-Okeford till I were thirty year of age, and then when mother died

I went to service, and I were ten year or thereabouts at a farm

Shillingstone way, and eight year at a public, and fifteen year at

another farm a mile out of Sturminster—I think ’twas fifteen year, but it

mid ha’ been eighteen—and then I’ve been here the rest of the time.”

“An’ that must be twelve year or more,” put in her mistress, “for I can

call to mind as Charl’ there was only just breeched when you did come.”

“Why, woman, you must be comin’ on for eighty,” cried the farmer,

half-admiringly, half-disapprovingly. “Bless me, ye haven’t no business

to be alive at all!”

“He, he,” chuckled Becky. “Here I be, ye see, sir; and if there’s to be

a prize for wold folks, I shouldn’t wonder if I did get it.”

“I can’t call to mind anybody else in these parts as can beat ye if your

tale be true,” returned he, “unless it’s Mr. Sharp’s Bithey. She be a

wonderful age, now—I shouldn’t wonder if she’s turned her four score.”

“Lard, no, sir!” cried Rebecca, with a sudden cessation of her laughter,

while a flush began to mount in her shrivelled cheeks. “Bithey! Why,

she’s no age at all to speak on. She’ve ha’ got very near all her teeth,

and her hair—what there is of it, they do say is as black as can be under

that wold woolly net as she do wear. She don’t come up to my age,

Master!”

“She runs you very near though, Beck,” cried mischievous Charl’,

beginning to caper with glee. “She’s oncommon hard o’ hearin’, and she

do get the rheumatiz so bad in her j’ints. Ther’ be times, Mr. Sharp do

say, as she can scarce walk.”

“Pooh,” cried Rebecca, with fine scorn, “what signifies that? A child

mid get rheumatiz, and I’ve ha’ knowed folks so young as Missus be hard

o’ hearin’. That don’t prove nothin’. There, I must give over talkin’

here, and get back to my work.”

She retired, muttering to herself and shaking her head, while Charl’,

still chuckling, went off to fetch the cows.

He came back in a state of explosive excitement, and immediately called

his parents out of hearing of Rebecca, who had stalked loftily past him,

armed with stool and pail.

“You’ll never guess what I’ve been doin’,” he began. “Jist as I was

crossin’ the lane down yonder, who should I see but wold Bithey toddlin’

along in front of me; so I hollers after her, and tells her all about the

prize, and did advise her to go in for it, and the wold body is that set

up about it ’tis as good as a play. She makes sure she is goin’ to win

it, and thinks nothin’ at all o’ poor Beck’s chance. Lard, ’twill be

rare sport to set the two wold folks one again t’other.”

The father laughed jovially, but the mother inquired in an aggrieved tone

why he had interfered and lessened poor Rebecca’s chance.

“There, she’ve a-been that excited all the evenin’ thinkin’ about

it—she’ll be awful disappointed if she don’t get the prize. Besides, I

can’t but think ’twould ha’ been a kind o’ honour for we if she was to

win it.”

“Maybe she will, all the same,” said Charl’. “I don’t believe Bithey’s

half so old myself.”

And he went away to do his share of the milking.

The news soon spread all over the village that both Rebecca and Bithey

intended to compete for the strange new-fangled prize that was to be

given at the forthcoming show. Opinions were pretty evenly divided as to

the respective merits of the two aspirants, but much amusement was caused

by the seriousness and pertinacity with which each old lady advanced her

claims.

On the Sunday following Charl’ mischievously brought the rivals into

contact by calling back Rebecca just as she had haughtily walked past

Bithey on leaving church.

“Come here, Beck, for one minute. Here’s Bithey won’t believe you are

any older nor her.”

Rebecca turned, eyeing Tabitha up and down somewhat disdainfully.

“Ye may believe it or not, as ye please,” she said, “but you was a little

maid goin’ to school when I was out in service.”

“What does she say?” inquired Tabitha, turning to one of the

bystanders—for quite a little crowd had gathered around the two.

“She says you are no age at all worth countin’,” bawled Charl’. “She

’lows you be quite a little maid still.”

“Little maid, indeed!” retorted Bithey. “I know I must be seventy if I’m

a day, and I’m a’most sure I’m a good bit more nor that. Why, I be

getting that weak in the limbs I can scarce get about.”

“Anybody mid get weak in the limbs!” cried Rebecca wrathfully. “’Tisn’t

no sign of age, that isn’t. When I did come to live at Thorncombe Farm,

twelve or fifteen years ago, I was a staid body, as anybody mid see; but

you—you was quite fresh and well-lookin’. I can mind it well. You did

come up to our place for a bit o’ lard soon arter I did get there, and

you was as straight and as active and as smooth and chuffy in the face—”

“Dear, dear! however can ye go for to tell sich tales, Rebecca?” groaned

Bithey, much scandalised. “I can mind that day so well as you, and I can

mind as you did offer to carry the lard for me as far as the gate, for,

says you, ‘You do look mortal tired for sure,’ says you; ‘and ’tis a long

way to carry it and you not bein’ so young as you was’.”

“Oh, faith, Becky, the case is goin’ again’ you!” shouted Charl’. “If ye

said that, it shows plain as you was treatin’ Bithey respectful like, you

bein’ the youngest.”

“God forgive you, Bithey!” ejaculated the dairywoman. “Have you no

conscience at all? _I_ say sich a thing! I offer to carry lard for you!

’Twas never my way to go in for payin’ compliments to folks, and I’d

always plenty to do wi’out makin’ out more work for myself.”

“Come, come,” cried a fat, good-natured man who had drawn near, “don’t be

fallin’ out on a Sunday! There must be some way of knowin’ your ages.

Let’s see how far back you can remember, and maybe that’ll tell us

summat. Can ye mind when Rectory chimbley was blowed down? I were a

little chap myself then, but I can remember it.”

“Nay, that was afore my day,” said Becky, much crestfallen. “I’ve only

been here a matter of twelve or fifteen year.”

“I can mind it,” cried Bithey eagerly. “I can mind it so well as if it

were yesterday. I had my sampler in my hand, and when my mother did call

out I run the needle very nigh an inch into my finger.”

“Then you was a little gurl, for sure!” exclaimed Rebecca triumphantly.

“Ye must ha’ been quite a young maid, else ye wouldn’t ha’ been workin’

on a sampler. What year was that, Mr. Joyce?”

“Let’s see,” said Mr. Joyce meditatively. “’Twas in the year ’48, I

think—’ees, I’m very near sure ’twas ’48.”

“An’ say you was ten year old then, Bithey,” went on the other claimant,

with increasing animation, “say you was ten or twelve—you couldn’t ha’

been much more, else you’d ha’ had more sense nor to be working

samplers—well, ’tis but a little over fifty year ago—that ’ud leave ye

not much more nor sixty. Ye haven’t wore so very well, I d’ ’low; but

there, ’tis plain sixty’s your age.”

“I feel sure I’m a deal more nor sixty,” protested Bithey, almost in

tears. “Now I think on’t, ’twasn’t when Rectory chimbley was blowed down

as I did run needle into my finger; ’twas when Mr. Sharp’s roof took

fire. Can you mind when Mr. Sharp’s thatch took fire, Mr. Joyce?”

“Nay, nay, ’twas long afore my time.”

“An’ _you_ must be comin’ on about sixty, Mr. Joyce?”

“Ah, I fancy that’s about my age.”

Tabitha cast a look of triumph towards Rebecca, who feigned

unconsciousness.

“I can mind the time o’ the Crimee War,” she announced deliberately.

There was a chorus of derisive comment.

“The Crimean War! Why, that’s scarce any time ago,” said Mr. Joyce.

“’Twas in the fifties, I think; ’ees, I can remember the time very well

myself. That don’t go for to prove nothin’, Rebecca.”

“Well, there’s one comfort,” returned she, undaunted, “us’ll be judged by

folks as don’t know us one from t’other, and they’ll be like to judge us

fair. There be things for and against both on us. Bithey’s hard o’

hearin’ and wonderful stiff in her j’ints, and all that’ll be in her

favour; but if they do go for to judge us wold women same way as they do

judge harses, I reckon I’ve a-got the best chance.”

“How’s that?” cried Charl’.

“Why, if they go for to examine our teeth, to be sure; they’d see as I

hadn’t got none.”

And further demonstrating the fact by a wide smile, Rebecca walked away,

followed by a burst of mirthful applause.

On the eventful morning of the Show all the inhabitants of Thorncombe

Farm assembled to see Rebecca start. Charl’ was to drive her to the

town, for, as he explained, it would never do for her to let on she was

hearty enough to walk such a distance.

“If I was you, Beck,” he added, “I’d make out to have a bit of a limp.

’Twould go far to make ye evener like wi’ Bithey.”

“Nay,” returned Rebecca stoutly, “I was never one for makin’ out what

wasn’t true.”

“Smooth down your hair a bit under your bonnet,” advised Mrs. Meatyard

anxiously. “It mid be any colour tucked away like that.”

As this injunction could be obeyed without detriment to her principles,

the old woman pushed back her bonnet and pulled into greater prominence

her scanty snowy side-locks. Then she climbed into the cart, with a

palpitating heart, and sat clutching at her umbrella while they jogged

out of the yard, and down the green lane, and out on the dusty high road.

Mr. and Mrs. Meatyard did not make their appearance at the Show till the

afternoon, when most of the judging was over, and only that important

part of the programme which related to various feats of horsemanship

remained to be carried out.

“Let’s hunt up Becky afore we go to look at the jumpin’,” said the farmer

to his wife, as they passed through the turnstile and threaded their way

amid the various stalls and pens containing exhibits from all parts of

the neighbourhood. Here a beautiful little red Devon cow thrust a moist

protesting nose through the railings; there a sturdy black-faced ram made

abortive butts with his curled horns at the passers-by; yonder a pen of

cackling geese flapped distracted wings and extended yards of snowy neck

with prodigious outcry; and now there was a stampede among the

ever-increasing crowd, as a great cart-colt was led past floundering and

kicking.

The Meatyards stared about them, and wondered and commented, and had

almost forgotten Becky in their interest and excitement, when they

suddenly came upon her, walking arm-in-arm with no other person than her

rival Bithey.

“Why bless me, Rebecca, so here ye be!” cried the farmer. “And Bithey,

too. What! Han’t ye been judged yet? An’ who’s the winner?”

“What does he say?” asked Tabitha plaintively of the other competitor,

and the Meatyards noticed with surprise that her tone was meek, and

indeed confiding.

“Master do want to know if we’ve a’ been judged yet, my dear,” returned

Becky soothingly. “I reckon he’ll be surprised when he do hear how we’ve

a-been used.”

“’Ees indeed,” sighed Bithey, and she wiped her eyes with a corner of her

shawl.

“There, don’t take ’ee on, my dear,” said Rebecca, patting her hand

affectionately. “The poor soul,” she explained, turning to the farmer

and his wife, who were gazing at the pair open-mouthed, “the poor soul do

seem to be quite undone. I d’ ’low ’twas a shame to go and disapp’int

her so. ’Twill ha’ gied her quite a turn—at her age an’ all.”

“’Tis no worse for me nor ’tis for you, my dear,” put in Bithey with a

groan of sympathy. “You had farther to come nor me, an’ you must be half

shook to pieces a-ridin’ in that wold cart.”

“In the name o’ fortun’,” cried the exasperated Mr. Meatyard, “which on

you did get the prize? There you do go chatterin’ an’ jabberin’ and

neither of you will tell us which be the winner.”

“You’d never think—” began Bithey.

“’Tis the most unfairest thing you ever did hear on!” exclaimed Becky.

“There was the two of us—the woldest women for miles round, I’ll go bail.

I’m sure ye did only need to look at Bithey here to see it.”

“And I’m sure,” wailed Tabitha, “the very sight o’ your grey hair did

ought to ha’ shamed them, Becky.”

Here the impatient farmer made a sudden lunge at them, almost after the

fashion of the curly-horned prize ram, and the two old women

simultaneously announced in an agitated whimper:—

“There, they didn’t give the prize to neither of us!”

“Dear heart alive! you don’t say so?” said Mrs. Meatyard, after a pause

of blank amazement, while her husband uttered a shrill whistle. “Didn’t

’ee get no prize at all then?”

“Wasn’t ’ee so much as ‘’Ighly Commended,’ Beck?” cried her master,

recovering from his stupor, and uttering a roar of laughter.

“No, sir,” returned Rebecca mournfully, “I didn’t get nothin’ at all—nor

Bithey neither. They never took a bit of notice after they’d axed how

long we’d been in our present sitooations. They went and give the

butter-dish to quite a young ’ooman. I don’t think she can ha’ been more

nor fifty-five. ’Ees, sir, if ye’ll believe me, a big strapping woman as

stout as me and Bithey put together, and so firm on her legs as

anything.”

“Whew!” whistled the farmer again, “you don’t say so! Well, I never

did—there must ha’ been some reason as you didn’t know on.”

“Maybe she was blind,” suggested Mrs. Meatyard. “That ’ud be a p’int in

her favour.”

“No more blind nor yourself, ma’am,” returned Becky almost triumphantly.

“She’d a-been thirty year in the one place—that was all as I could hear

as she could say for herself, and they went and give her the butter-dish

wi’out no more talk than that. So, when I did see how upset poor Bithey

was—an’ she so troubled with the rheumatiz, poor wold body—I jist says to

her, says I, ‘You take my arm, my dear,’ says I; ‘you jist come along of

I.’ And she were glad enough to do it.”

“I d’ ’low I was,” agreed her whilom rival. “I reckon I thought it

oncommon kind. ’Ees,’ says I, ‘Becky love,’ says I, ‘I take it oncommon

kind o’ you to help me same as you’re a-doin’ of, for ye bain’t so young

yourself,’ says I.”

Mr. Meatyard slapped his thigh and shouted with laughter.

“You’ve changed your note, I see—both on you,” he exclaimed as soon as he

could speak. “Well, and where are you bound for now?”

“Why, d’ye see, sir,” said Becky, “her an’ me is both tired o’ this—we

are—jist about! And so she says to me, says she, ‘Let’s go over to one

o’ them little booths over there and set down for a bit, and rest us.’

Didn’t ye, Bithey?”

“I did,” said Bithey, “and I says, ‘Becky,’ says I, ‘arter all this

standin’, an’ all this talkin’, and all the dust and sawdust flyin’

about, I’m awful dry,’ I says; ‘what would you say,’ says I, ‘to a bottle

of Pop?’”

The farmer laughed again, but his wife strongly advised the old couple to

have recourse to that restorative, and they therefore toddled away

together to drown the memory of their differences and, if possible, of

their disappointment in a sparkling and innocuous glass.

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