that’ll be the last straw. If there’s one thing a woman likes it’s a
really bad man. She’ll start reforming you, and then there’ll be no
holding her back.
MRS. DOT.
No, you must seem rather dull and stupid. Let her think you’re a bit of
a milksop.
[FREDDIE _looks at them suspiciously_.
FREDDIE.
Look here, you’re not pulling my leg all the time, are you?
MRS. DOT.
My dear, I should never take such a liberty.
FREDDIE.
I don’t believe a word of what you’ve told me. Why should she care for
me? You’ve simply been humbugging me right and left.
[_For a moment_ MRS. DOT _is taken aback, but she sees_ LADY
SELLENGER _coming through the garden with_ GERALD.
MRS. DOT.
Here’s Lady Sellenger. You won’t accuse her of trying to make a fool of
you. [LADY SELLENGER _and_ GERALD _appear_.] I’ve just been talking to
Freddie about--about your girl.
LADY SELLENGER.
Oh yes. [_To_ FREDDIE.] My poor boy, you’re in a very difficult
position.
FREDDIE.
Then you know all about it, too?
LADY SELLENGER.
I really feel for you very much. You’ll want a great deal of tact and a
great deal of courage. But you must do your duty.
[_She turns aside to_ BLENKINSOP.
MRS. DOT.
[_In an undertone to_ FREDDIE.] Now have I been pulling your leg?
FREDDIE.
Poor girl!
[_He goes into the house._
LADY SELLENGER.
[_Looking at him as he goes._] What a beautiful and touching thing love
is.
BLENKINSOP.
You must take care, Lady Sellenger. You’re growing sentimental.
LADY SELLENGER.
But I’ve always been as sentimental as a schoolgirl in my heart. Only,
so long as Nellie’s future was unarranged, I was obliged to keep a
tight hand on myself.
MRS. DOT.
Of course, Jimmie laughs; he doesn’t know what love is.
LADY SELLENGER.
Have you never been loved for yourself, Mr. Blenkinsop?
BLENKINSOP.
I have, but I have always found it deuced expensive.
GERALD.
I’m afraid Blenkinsop doesn’t set much store on the gentle sex.
BLENKINSOP.
Don’t call them gentle. They’re very much rougher than men.
MRS. DOT.
Stop him, or he’ll utter a whole string of horrors.
BLENKINSOP.
Have you never watched the gentle sex fight and push and scramble as it
gets into the Hammersmith bus? I assure you, the unlucky man who finds
himself in that seething feminine crowd is fortunate if he escapes
without losing an eye or half his teeth. And have you seen the fury of
the gentle sex at a sale as they seize some worthless fragment, and the
bitterness with which they haggle? The other day I was in the Army and
Navy Stores, and two women were standing on the stairs, discussing their
servants, so that no one could pass up and down. I took off my hat and
said: Excuse me, would you allow me to pass. They moved barely two
inches, and one of them said in a loud voice to the other: What an
impertinent man. The gentle sex! Yesterday I was hanging on a strap in a
crowded train coming from the city, and I saw a pale-faced weary clerk
give up his seat to a strong and bouncing girl. She took it without
saying thank you, because she was a lady and he wasn’t a gentleman. Then
a tired old woman came in and stood, but the bouncing girl never thought
of giving up the seat to her. The gentle sex! They have such tender
hearts they couldn’t bear to hurt a fly. Have you ever seen a woman get
out of a bus ten yards before her destination in order to save the
wretched horses another start? Not much. Have you ever known a woman of
fashion who sends her maid to bed when she knows she won’t be in till
four in the morning? Not much. And is there anything like the insolence
with which a woman treats her social inferiors of the same sex? Is it
men who put on their backs the sealskins that are torn off the living
bodies of helpless brutes? Is it men who put on their hats the beautiful
birds of the forest? It’s the gentle sex. Boys are taught manners. They
are taught to take off their hats and hold open the door for their
sisters. They are taught to fetch and carry for women, and to give up
the front seat in life to women. But what are girls taught? Girls are
taught etiquette, and that, I suppose, makes them in due course the
gentle sex.
LADY SELLENGER.
Every one knows you’re a horrible cynic, so there can’t be a word of
truth in anything you say.
BLENKINSOP.
Q.E.D.
GERALD.
Here comes Nellie.
[NELLIE _comes in, having changed her dress. She now wears a very
pretty white frock, all flounces and furbelows, and a large white
hat. At the same moment from the other side_ FREDDIE _enters. He
also has changed, and is now in spotless white._
MRS. DOT.
[_With a laugh, whispering to_ BLENKINSOP.] They’ve both changed their
clothes.
GERALD.
Would you like to come for a row, Nellie?
NELLIE.
I’m too tired. Won’t you go with Mrs. Dot? I’ll rest here till tea-time.
[NELLIE _sits down, and the others go_.
LADY SELLENGER.
Personally, I must walk. I sacrifice all my inclinations to my fear of
growing too stout. I often wonder if we shall get our good dinners in
heaven that we’ve done without on earth.
BLENKINSOP.
It’s generally understood that we shall only get our deserts.
[NELLIE _watches them go from over her shoulder. She sees that_
FREDDIE _is hanging back. She smiles and elaborately disregards
him. He comes forward and leans over her chair._
NELLIE.
Aren’t you going with the others?
FREDDIE.
Do you mind if I stay with you?
NELLIE.
I like it.
FREDDIE.
Jolly here, isn’t it?
NELLIE.
Awfully jolly.
FREDDIE.
I’ve not congratulated you on your engagement yet.
NELLIE.
I didn’t expect you would.
FREDDIE.
Why?
NELLIE.
Oh, I don’t know.
FREDDIE.
It seems a long time since we first met, doesn’t it?
NELLIE.
Why?
FREDDIE.
Because I seem to know you so well.
NELLIE.
You’re very easy to get to know, aren’t you?
FREDDIE.
I say, you look just like another rose in this garden.
NELLIE.
I suppose you say that to every girl who sits here?
FREDDIE.
I’ve never said it to any one but you.
NELLIE.
They tell me you’re very impressionable.
FREDDIE.
They lie.
NELLIE.
I think I shall take off my hat.
FREDDIE.
Yes, do.
[_She proceeds to do so. She pretends that she cannot._
NELLIE.
Oh, how stupid of me! Something has caught.
FREDDIE.
May I help you?
NELLIE.
I’m afraid I’m giving you a lot of trouble.
[_He helps her, and she gives a little scream._
FREDDIE.
Oh, I’m so sorry. Did I hurt you?
NELLIE.
No, but it tickled.
[_She takes off the hat. One hand of hers remains in his. Their
eyes meet for the first time, and they smile._
FREDDIE.
I say, what a pretty hand you have! It looks so white on mine, doesn’t
it?
[MRS. DOT _creeps back and stands behind a bush, so that she cannot
be seen_.
NELLIE.
I rather like your hand. It’s so strong and brown.
FREDDIE.
You know, you’re awfully easy to get on with. Sometimes I feel
dreadfully shy and nervous with women, but I can think of all sorts of
things I want to say to you.
NELLIE.
_I_ seem to have known you all my life.
FREDDIE.
[_Impulsively._] Isn’t it jolly here?
NELLIE.
Awfully jolly.
[_He looks at her for a moment._
FREDDIE.
I want to ask you something. You won’t be angry, will you?
NELLIE.
No.
FREDDIE.
May I kiss you?
NELLIE.
No.
FREDDIE.
It’s awfully unkind of you.
NELLIE.
You shouldn’t have asked.
FREDDIE.
Shouldn’t I? I wanted to, badly.
NELLIE.
There are some things one should do without asking.
FREDDIE.
You are a brick.
[_He kisses her. As he does so_, HOLLINGTON _comes in and sees
them. He stops for a moment in astonishment, then withdraws._
FREDDIE.
Let’s go on the river, shall we?
NELLIE.
I told Gerald I was too tired.
FREDDIE.
Oh, hang Gerald!
NELLIE.
We might go and play the piano in the drawing-room.
FREDDIE.
I’m awfully fond of music. Cake-walks, and things like that, you know.
[_They get up._ MRS. DOT _comes forward_.
MRS. DOT.
Are you going? I thought you were tired.
NELLIE.
We’re just going to look at the kitchen garden.
FREDDIE.
I’ve told Miss Sellenger that you’ve got some most awfully good carrots.
MRS. DOT.
[_As they go to the house._] That’s not the way, you know.
NELLIE.
[_Coolly._] I’m only just going to get a handkerchief.
MRS. DOT.
Oh, I see. I beg your pardon.
[_They go._ GERALD _comes forward. He is rather grave and solemn._
MRS. DOT.
What a picture they make, don’t they? I can’t tell you how much I like
Nellie.
GERALD.
You’ve come to the conclusion that the cut of her skirt’s all right.
MRS. DOT.
Ah, you mustn’t recall what I said when I was in a temper. You know, I’m
rather touched by her obvious affection for you.
GERALD.
It’s very good of you to say so.
MRS. DOT.
It’s so nice to see two people head over ears in love with one another.
GERALD.
I wouldn’t be so presumptuous as to think Nellie was so much in love
with me as all that.
MRS. DOT.
My dear boy, I’ve just had proof of it.
GERALD.
Have you? That’s more than I have.
MRS. DOT.
And is dear Lady Sellenger going to live with you when you’re married?
GERALD.
Look here, Dot, what’s the meaning of all this?
MRS. DOT.
[_Much surprised._] Of what?
GERALD.
Why did you ask us all down?
MRS. DOT.
Because I’m of a hospitable turn of mind. Didn’t you want to come? I’m
so sorry.
GERALD.
You’ve utterly ignored me since I arrived.
MRS. DOT.
[_Ironically._] Much as I should have liked to devote myself exclusively
to your entertainment, I’ve been really obliged to remember that my
other guests had equal claims upon me.
GERALD.
I should very much like to take you by the shoulders and give you a good
shaking.
MRS. DOT.
I don’t think you’re in a very good temper to-day.
GERALD.
[_Crossly._] Pardon me, I’m in the best possible temper.
MRS. DOT.
You certainly ought to be with the prospect of spending a week in almost
uninterrupted _tête-à-tête_ with the object of your affections.
GERALD.
I can’t make you out. You’re so changed since last we met.
MRS. DOT.
You see, last time I thought I was in love with you. Now I know I’m not.
GERALD.
[_Bitterly._] I’m glad you’ve got over it so quickly.
MRS. DOT.
Really, you couldn’t wish me to continue eating my heart out for a young
man, however charming, who is going to marry somebody else.
GERALD.
Of course not.
MRS. DOT.
[_Mockingly._] Well?
GERALD.
I was a fool to think you ever cared at all.
MRS. DOT.
But why should you think it when you took the greatest pains to assure
me that you didn’t care two straws for me?
GERALD.
[_Quickly._] I didn’t!
MRS. DOT.
You did!
GERALD.
I didn’t!
MRS. DOT.
Then you did care for me?
GERALD.
I never said that.
MRS. DOT.
Anyhow, whatever your sentiments were, it would gratify your self-esteem
to think that I was languishing with a hopeless passion.
GERALD.
It’s cruel of you to laugh at me.
MRS. DOT.
By the way, are you by any chance in love with me now?
GERALD.
You have no right to ask me that question.
MRS. DOT.
My dear boy, I’m not keeping you from spending an idyllic afternoon with
Nellie. You’ve forced this conversation upon me. I assure you it’s most
distasteful.
GERALD.
If I had married you, I should certainly have beaten you with a big
stick.
MRS. DOT.
What do you think is my chief characteristic?
GERALD.
That’s a question I _can_ answer. The most confounded and aggravating
unreasonableness that I ever saw.
MRS. DOT.
Nonsense. It’s obvious that my chief characteristic is a sweet and
yielding nature. But as there’s no likelihood of our agreeing on that,
what do you think is the second?
GERALD.
Obstinacy.
MRS. DOT.
Well, I prefer to call it strength of mind. Now, I’ll acknowledge that I
was in love with you--a month ago. That’s a feather in your cap.
GERALD.
Oh, I wish we were back again. I’ve had such rotten luck.
MRS. DOT.
But when I saw that my sweetness was likely to be wasted on the desert
air, I made up my mind to cure myself. First I cried for two days.
GERALD.
Dot.
MRS. DOT.
No, don’t sympathise. I have rather a high colour, and when I’ve had a
good cry it always improves my complexion. After that, I ordered some
new frocks, and I bought a diamond necklace that I’d been hankering
after for some time.
GERALD.
And that thoroughly consoled you, I suppose?
MRS. DOT.
It helped. Then I came to the conclusion that there were as good fish in
the sea as ever came out of it. I thought you over. After all, you’re
not really very good-looking, are you?
GERALD.
I’m not aware that I ever made any pretence of being so.
MRS. DOT.
And I’m sure no one could accuse you of being extremely amusing.
GERALD.
I have no doubt I’m excessively dull.
MRS. DOT.
I couldn’t help seeing that you’d suit Nellie much better than you would
have suited me. She has that comfortable stupidity which the average
Englishman looks upon as the highest recommendation for a wife.
GERALD.
It’s charming of you to say so.
MRS. DOT.
She _is_ a little dull, isn’t she?
GERALD.
I don’t think her so.
MRS. DOT.
Doesn’t time hang rather heavily on your hands now and then? Isn’t it
difficult to find topics of conversation?
GERALD.
I don’t find it so.
MRS. DOT.
Ah--she does.
GERALD.
And the long and short of it is that the emotion which you dignify with
the name of love, had entirely disappeared after a week.
MRS. DOT.
Make it ten days to be on the safe side.
GERALD.
I congratulate you.
MRS. DOT.
You wouldn’t have it otherwise, surely?
GERALD.
Of course not.
MRS. DOT.
Then all is for the best in the best of all possible worlds.
GERALD.
[_Furiously._] I think you must be quite heartless.
MRS. DOT.
[_Delighted._] Ah, that’s what I said to you a month ago, Philippine.
GERALD.
Now, perhaps, you’d like to know what my feeling is towards you?
MRS. DOT.
No, I’m quite indifferent, thanks!
GERALD.
Well, I shall tell you for all that. It’s a joke to you, and you can
afford to laugh at it.
[_He goes up to her and then stops suddenly._
MRS. DOT.
Well?
GERALD.
Nothing.
MRS. DOT.
Oh! My poor heart went pit-a-pat. I thought you were going to kiss me.
GERALD.
I hate you. And I wish I’d never set eyes on you.
[_He turns on his heel and walks out quickly. As soon as he is
gone_ MRS. DOT _begins to dance a break-down. She cocks a snook
after him._
MRS. DOT.
I’ll marry you yet, you beast, I’ll marry you yet.
[BLENKINSOP _comes in_.
BLENKINSOP.
What on earth is the matter with you now?
[_From inside is heard the sound of a cake-walk._
MRS. DOT.
Come on.
[_She seizes him and begins to dance._
BLENKINSOP.
Unhand me, woman!
MRS. DOT.
Oh, you dear, you dear, you dear.
[_She flings both arms round his neck and kisses him soundly. At
this moment_ GERALD _returns_.
GERALD.
I beg your pardon. I forgot my hat.
[_He takes it and goes out stiffly._ MRS. DOT _bursts into a shriek
of laughter_.
BLENKINSOP.
That’s all very fine. But what about my character?
END OF THE SECOND ACT
THE THIRD ACT
_A hall in_ MRS. WORTHLEY’S _house on the River_.
GERALD _and_ NELLIE _are seated in arm-chairs. She stifles a yawn.
Then he yawns._
GERALD.
I beg your pardon.
NELLIE.
[_Yawning._] I never saw any one who yawned so much as you.
GERALD.
[_Ironically._] I suppose you’ve never looked at yourself in the glass?
NELLIE.
Is your family very long-lived, Gerald?
GERALD.
[_Rather surprised._] Are you already asking yourself how you’ll look in
widow’s weeds?
NELLIE.
You may very well live for forty years, mayn’t you?
GERALD.
My maternal grandfather survived to plague his descendants to the ripe
age of ninety-seven.
NELLIE.
How many days are there in forty years?
GERALD.
I should think about fifteen thousand.
NELLIE.
Has it occurred to you that we may eat fifteen thousand breakfasts
sitting opposite one another, and fifteen thousand luncheons, and
fifteen thousand dinners?
GERALD.
[_Gloomily._] Yes, it had occurred to me.
NELLIE.
And how do you look upon the prospect?
GERALD.
[_Grimly._] It fills me with satisfaction, naturally.
NELLIE.
[_Abruptly._] I suppose you’re very much in love with me?
GERALD.
What an extraordinary question!
NELLIE.
I don’t think any one but a lunatic would describe you as an ardent
lover.
GERALD.
[_Coldly._] I regret that my behaviour doesn’t meet with your
satisfaction.
NELLIE.
Do you know that since we became definitely engaged you’ve never told me
that you cared for me?
GERALD.
[_Apologetically._] Yes, I ought to have done that, oughtn’t I? I
suppose I thought you’d take it for granted.
NELLIE.
Every girl likes a suspicion of romance thrown over her love-affairs.
GERALD.
Your mother will tell you that the certainty of marriage is much more
satisfactory.
NELLIE.
[_Dryly._] You would have made an excellent husband--for mother.
GERALD.
Have you noticed that when we _do_ think of something to talk about, we
get perilously near a squabble?
NELLIE.
I sometimes think it would be better to quarrel outright now and then
than be always so desperately polite to one another.
GERALD.
I’m afraid I have an admirable temper.
NELLIE.
Mother always says you have all the virtues.
GERALD.
Shall we look at the _Sketch_ together?
NELLIE.
We’ve looked at the _Sketch_ together three times. [_Following his eye,
which goes to other illustrated papers on the table._] And the
_Illustrated_, and the _Sphere_, and the _Graphic_.
GERALD.
Then what would you like to do?
NELLIE.
I should like to SCREAM.
GERALD.
Would you, by George? So would I.
NELLIE.
Oh, Gerald, let’s have a good scream together.
_Enter_ LADY SELLENGER _and_ MRS. DOT.
LADY SELLENGER.
[_With a bland smile._] What a picture they make!
MRS. DOT.
[_Acidly._] It’s quite charming to see two young things so engrossed in
one another’s society.
LADY SELLENGER.
Now, you really mustn’t waste this beautiful afternoon. You must go and
have a nice long walk together.
NELLIE.
We had a nice long walk this morning.
MRS. DOT.
[_Sweetly._] Then why don’t you go on the river? You can take your tea
with you and spend the whole afternoon there.
GERALD.
We spent the whole afternoon on the river yesterday, and you kindly gave
us our tea to take with us.
LADY SELLENGER.
It reminds me of the happy days when I was engaged to your poor father,
Nellie. We were just like you and Gerald. We couldn’t bear to be out of
one another’s sight. Now, run and get your hat, darling.
NELLIE.
Oh, mamma, I’ve got the most dreadful headache that I’ve ever had in my
life, and I must really go and lie down.
LADY SELLENGER.
Nonsense. An afternoon in the fresh air with Gerald is just the thing to
put you right.
GERALD.
I’m so sorry, but I have some very important letters to write. I _must_
catch the post.
MRS. DOT.
[_Sweetly._] You’ll have lots of time when you come in. The post doesn’t
go till after dinner.
LADY SELLENGER.
If you make excuses like that, poor Nellie will think she bores you
already.
GERALD.
In that case I shall be only too glad to go on the river.
MRS. DOT.
Take my sunshade, darling. You won’t want a hat.
NELLIE.
[_Savagely._] Thank you, dear.
[NELLIE _and_ GERALD _go out gloomily_.
LADY SELLENGER.
Just like humming-birds, aren’t they?
MRS. DOT.
Do you mean turtle-doves by any chance?
LADY SELLENGER.
I was never very good at natural history.... Dear Mrs. Worthley, I must
really thank you for the tact with which you’ve thrown Gerald and Nellie
in one another’s society every moment of the day.
MRS. DOT.
I can flatter myself that _they’ve_ thoroughly enjoyed their week here.
[AUNT ELIZA, _comes in with_ BLENKINSOP.
LADY SELLENGER.
[_With a look of intelligence._] Dear Mr. Blenkinsop, you wicked, wicked
cynic. [_Meaningly._] I shall go and lie down. Are you coming upstairs,
Miss MacGregor?
AUNT ELIZA.
In one minute.
LADY SELLENGER.
I want to have a little talk with you. [_As_ BLENKINSOP _holds open the
door for her, in a whisper_.] Aren’t I tactful?
[LADY SELLENGER _goes out_.
BLENKINSOP.
What villainy is that old woman up to now?
MRS. DOT.
You idiot! Don’t you see that she’s discovered the passion that devours
our hearts--your manly bosom and my timid, fluttering heart--and she
wants to leave us alone.
BLENKINSOP.
I’m beginning to feel very unwell.
MRS. DOT.
[_Archly._] Wouldn’t you be rather flattered if I really were in love
with you?
BLENKINSOP.
[_Alarmed._] Dot, don’t make these horrible suggestions. You make my
flesh creep.
MRS. DOT.
But you’ve been so cold, you haven’t given me a chance.
BLENKINSOP.
Cold! Heaven knows what would have happened if I’d given you any
encouragement. I’ve never been able to take my eyes off the ground
without finding yours fixed on me with the languishing expression of a
dying duck in a thunderstorm. I’ve never been able to go near you
without your stroking me as if I were a velvet cushion or a Persian cat.
I’ve not eaten a single meal in peace in case you suddenly took it into
your head to press my foot under the table.
MRS. DOT.
What would you have done if I had?
BLENKINSOP.
[_With outraged dignity._] I should have screamed! And the thought of
that special licence has cast a chill in my heart. I don’t know what
it’s all coming to. You are my witness, Miss MacGregor, that I won’t
marry her, however deeply she compromises me.
AUNT ELIZA.
[_Smiling._] I am your witness.
BLENKINSOP.
She shan’t make an honest man of me.
[MRS. DOT _takes from a drawer of the escritoire one of the
licences_.
MRS. DOT.
[_Smiling._] Frances Annandale Worthley--James Blenkinsop.
BLENKINSOP.
I feel as though some one were walking over my grave.
AUNT ELIZA.
But how on earth are you going to get Nellie Sellenger and Freddie to
use the other licence?
MRS. DOT.
When the right moment comes I shall leave it under their noses, and
allow them to draw what consequences they choose.... If any woman ever
earned a husband, I have. I’ve taken every opportunity to snub Gerald
till he can hardly contain himself with rage. I’ve thrown him in
Nellie’s company till they’re both so bored they could almost cry. I’ve
been constantly on the watch to prevent Nellie and Freddie from having
two minutes by themselves till they can hardly bear the sight of me. And
I’ve made love to you with a persistence that would have melted the
heart of a fish. If I fail, it will be your fault.
BLENKINSOP.
But what on earth do you want me to do?
MRS. DOT.
Good heavens, throw a little passion into your behaviour. Look at me as
though you’d never seen any one so ravishing in your life. When you take
my hand, hold it as if you would never let it go.
[_She takes his hand._
BLENKINSOP.
Remember, there’s no one but Miss MacGregor present.
MRS. DOT.
[_With a yearning glance._] Look into my eyes like this.
BLENKINSOP.
Don’t. You make me feel very uncomfortable.
MRS. DOT.
[_Impatiently._] Oh, you’re too stupid. You’re a stock and a stone.
You’re an owl. You’re a ridiculous idiot.
BLENKINSOP.
Temper, temper.
MRS. DOT.
You’ll ruin my whole life, because you’re such a perfect fool that you
can’t make love to a woman.
[_She breaks away from him and begins to cry. He walks up and down,
then looks at her with a smile. He makes a sign to_ MISS MACGREGOR
_that_ MRS. DOT _cannot see_.
BLENKINSOP.
[_In a different voice._] Dot, this little game of ours has lasted long
enough.
MRS. DOT.
[_Sobbing in her handkerchief._] Yes, it has. I’m sick to death of the
whole thing.
BLENKINSOP.
You asked me to play a part, and you didn’t know that it might be deadly
earnest.
MRS. DOT.
Fiddlesticks!
BLENKINSOP.
I have a secret that I can no longer keep from you.
MRS. DOT.
Well, tell it to the horse-marines.
BLENKINSOP.
Dot, I love you!
MRS. DOT.
Oh, don’t be so silly.
BLENKINSOP.
But I tell you I’m not joking.
MRS. DOT.
Thank heaven for that. I’m weary of your bad jokes.
BLENKINSOP.
The thing started as a bad joke, but it has ended in something very
different. A change has come over me, and I’m ashamed.
MRS. DOT.
[_Looking up._] Eh?
BLENKINSOP.
Don’t you see that I’m a different man? Dot, it’s you who’ve changed me.
MRS. DOT.
I really believe he’s waking up.
BLENKINSOP.
If I was shy and awkward, it’s because I wouldn’t give in to myself. I
was overwhelmed. I couldn’t understand.
MRS. DOT.
That’s much better. There really is a ring of emotion in your voice.
BLENKINSOP.
How shouldn’t there be, when I’m saying at last what has trembled on the
tip of my tongue for ten days?
MRS. DOT.
[_Delighted._] There! That’s just the tone I want. Talk with that quiver
in your voice when you ask me to pass you the mustard at dinner.
BLENKINSOP.
I lie awake at night thinking of you, and when I fall asleep I seem to
hold you in my arms.
MRS. DOT.
That’s splendid. Why couldn’t you say all this before?
BLENKINSOP.
Dot, Dot, don’t torture me. Don’t you see I mean it.
MRS. DOT.
What!
BLENKINSOP.
I’m not jesting now. I wish to heaven I were.
MRS. DOT.
[_Forcing a laugh._] My dear James, you’re really piling it on too
much.
BLENKINSOP.
You must be mad or blind. Can’t you feel that I love you?
MRS. DOT.
Don’t be so absurd. You know you’re only--you’re only pulling my leg.
BLENKINSOP.