The next morning Abe was stamping mealies with a wooden pestle in a
wooden mortar made from a tree trunk. It was a piece of unusual labour
on his part, and I complimented him on his early industry.
"Industry be blowed--it's my teeth! They're worn down, and not equal to
chewing hard mealies. You take pattern by me, sonny, and keep your
teeth. Lor' love yer, when I sees young boys and gals with half their
teeth missin', I'm jest thinkin' that there's no ignorance like that of
the civilised man. Take me, or take an ord'nary raw Kaffir turned
sixty, and look at his mouth. Teeth as white and soun' as a
animile's--'cos why?--'cos he ain't loadin' his inside with all sorts o'
hots an' colds, an' sweets, and thingammies painted yeller an' red--an'
'cos he polishes up his grinders with a bit o' wood and heaps o' water.
Toothache--man wasn't born to have toothache--o' course not; nor to have
his jawbone broken with steel pincers; but there, he ain't got sense to
know when he's well off, and so he starts undermining his teeth from the
day he's old enough to chew toffee."
"I've known a Kaffir to have toothache."
"And I've known a Kaffir to drink off a bottle of Worcester sauce. But
why? 'Cos some blamed white man invented the sauce to help out his
finicking appetite, and if the Kaffir's fool enough to drink white man's
mixtures, why there's an end to him. When you start to civilise a
Kaffir you give him toothache, and fill him as full o' wickedness an'
sickness as a white man. That's so!"
"I didn't know you were such an admirer of Kaffirs."
"Ghoisters! You're like a ramrod; you can't see your way unless it's
straight. I'm not in love with the black because his teeth is good."
Abe scooped up the broken maize, and proceeded to make his morning pap,
after which he lit his pipe and was at peace.
"What was the end of your scouting, Abe?"
"I ain't scouting."
"I mean at Pluto's Vale, when the young officer left you."
"Is that so! Lemme see. I left him running like a blind hoss at a
precipice, straight for the path by the kloof which I reckoned were full
o' Kaffirs, and with three chaps runnin' down to cut him off. That
weren't me. No! I jest skipped round back o' the krantz opposite the
kloof, an' crawled up to where I'd seen the vidette. It were as I
thought Stone dead he were, with his face to the sky and his arms
stretched out, assegaied through the back and then turned over by them
as stabbed him--and who who was sneaking down the hill to do the same
for my partner. I jest peeped over the rock--and far down the valley to
the lef I see the regiment on the march, with the waggons in the centre
and the Colonel riding ahead's if he were going on parade. Sonny, them
_rooibaaitjes_ can fight, but they're foolish. They're too stiff in the
lip to ask questions, and too proud to learn. That's so! There were
the Colonel marching his men straight into the tightest kind o' fix
without waiting for me to report the lay o' the land. I looked down
below, and there were that young chap booming along like a rock rolled
from the top, leaping like a buck, an' jes' ahead o' him, in a turn in
the road, crouchin' behin' bushes, was them three red Kaffirs waitin' to
stab him. A hundred paces he had to cover afore he came up to the fust
of 'em, and I seed in a flash he were a gone coon, unless somethin'
happened. I tell you, sonny, I did some quick thinking while he were
running them hundred paces. S'pose I fired! The report would jes' boom
from side to side o' that valley and wake up every darned Kaffir in the
kloof--s'posing Kaffirs was there. The Kaffirs would be on the watch,
the Colonel would hear, an' rush up his men, leaving his waggons
unprotected. Then there'd be a awful kind of a mess--s'posing the
Kaffirs was in that kloof. I thunked all that, and that young chap had
gone half-way. If I fired he couldn't a pulled up in time, so I jest
fetched a yell in Kaffir. From the bottom o' my throat I fetched up one
of them deep Kaffir shouts. `Look out!' I yelled; `the soldiers--run!'
The words fell on them Kaffirs like the lash of a whip. The three of
them jumped to their feet, run across the road, an' slipped inter the
kloof. The young chap seed 'em cross his track, and pulled up, then I'm
darned if he didn't keep on again. Well, I give him another chance. I
cried to him in English to keep to his left, but he jes' lifted his hand
and kep' on. Nex' moment he were running along the fringe of the kloof
where the dark wood came down to the road, and then he gave a lurch, and
rolled over an' over, his gun flying from his hand. I could hear the
tinkle of the metal against the stones. The roll carried him to a rock,
and over that he went with a splash inter a pool o' water, and as he
went in a Kaffir darted from the kloof with his shield and assegai. I
knew then the kloof were full of Kaffirs, for none of the other three
carried a shield. All this yer happened in a breath almost, and then I
ran along the krantz to where a corner of it stood out bold, an'
standing there I shouted to the regiment, which lay outstretched down
below, the head of it no further than 300 paces from the beginning of
the kloof on that side. The Colonel were riding ahead, then followed
the pioneers, with their axes and spades sheathed in shiny black
leather, and on their chests big black beards, behind them a company of
the 94th with the bayonets glittering like running fire, back o' them
the band, and ahind them the waggons in the long line, and far behind, a
full mile from the Colonel, the balance of the regiment. Sonny! in ten
minutes the hull biling of 'em would 'a been in the narrer of the valley
without room to turn, and they'd a bin assegaied to a man, I tell you!
But Abe Pike were there; and I tell you he gave a shout that went
ekering down that valley from side to side. `Halt!' I said. The
Colonel he pulled up. I seed him shade his eyes with his hand as he
took a look, and I seed some of the soldiers point up at me. The
Colonel he shook his reins, and rode on. `Halt!' I said; but he jes'
kep' on, calm as possible. `You blamed fool,' I shouted; `stop!
There's Kaffirs ahead.' He pulled up, and turned in his saddle.
`Ninety-fourth,' he said--and his voice came up clear--`halt!' All
along that mile o' men and oxen the order ran down, and the moving
column came to a stand. `Number 1 company,' he said, `leading files
from your left, two paces to the right. Rear ranks, two paces to your
front.' The leading company jest stretched out like a concertina,
across the road. `Prepare to fire,' he said, and down came that shining
stretch o' bayonets to the level. Then I'm darned if the Colonel didn't
walk his horse round the turn in the road till he came to the kloof, and
seed the track wind up through the narrer poort up to the ridge beyond,
with me on his right far above him. He seed nothin', of course; 'cos
why, he couldn't see through the dark o' the woods on his left; but
there was hundreds of black eyes glaring at him through the leaves. He
looked up at me, as if to say, `Where are the Kaffirs?' `They're in the
bush,' I shouted; then I slid down the krantz by a monkey tow, and after
making my way through the tumbled mass of boulders and thorn scrub at
the base, started to run down, when I yeard the beat of the drum, and
the next minute seed the pioneers come round the bend, then the first
company, and nex' the band, with the Colonel 'twixt the pioneers and the
company. The old fire-eater were determined to get inter the trap after
all, and when I reached him he were half-way by the kloof. `For God's
sake,' I said, putting my hand on the bridle, `stop the waggons, and get
your men outer this. Turn back!' I said. He were jest going to rap me
over the head for mutinous conduct, or some sich nonsense, when the
Kaffir yell rang out. They couldn't wait any longer. Whew! My gum,
sonny! talk o' yellin' an' cussin' an' gruntin'. Them red Kaffirs were
into us. They jumped this way, and that, their eyes rollin' in their
heads, their assegais whizzing and kerries flying, with a noise like a
flight o' partridges. Then the rifles snapped out, and the big drum
boomed onct. Only onct. Then I seed the drummer throw up his sticks
an' roll over, drum up, man up, turn an' turn. I didn't know which way
to turn at first; then I seed a Kaffir raising his kerrie to smash the
Colonel, who were lying on the ground, and I shot him. I helped the
Colonel up, and he roared out `Bayonets.' The soldiers were too mixed
up to use their bayonets. I seed five of them--one after another--
assegaied. The Kaffirs, they jes' grabbed the poor Johnny by the belt,
pulled him outer the thick of the jam, and then assegaied him. I seed
how things would go if the soldiers couldn't get ground to fight, so I
jumped for the drum, and, cutting it free from the poor drummer chap, I
banged on it and marched across the stream to the far slope. Some of
the fellers seed me and follered. `Steady,' says I, `take your man--
fire.' Well, they did jes' so, and I banged the drum. The ole Colonel
he got the pioneers with him--there was eight of them--and, my gum!--
they jest swished their way through the Kaffirs with their axes. Then
up come some more men, follering the drum, and we peppered the Kaffirs
till they were obliged to get back inter the wood. Then the Colonel he
looked for the wounded. There were nary one, but seventeen men lay
dead. `There's one here,' says I, and led the place to where the young
officer had tumbled in the water. There he were among the rushes,
bleeding to death from an assegai wound, and one of them pioneers, his
arms all bloody, lifted the young chap up and carried him to the
waggons. I guessed it were time to go before them Kaffirs got up
steam--so I banged the ole drum and marched back. `Where you going?'
says the Colonel. `Back to the camp,' I says. `That ain't the way,' he
says; `we camp over the ridge to-night,' pointing the other way. `The
Kaffirs will never let the waggons through,' I said. `The Kaffirs is
beaten,' he says; and just then a young Kaffir leapt outer the bush and
rammed his assegai into the big drum. `I have done it,' he cried and I
seed it were Sandili hisself. I tole you how Sandili he said he would
bust the drum, and by gosh! he bust it. He was back inter the wood in a
wink, and then he shouted how he had killed the white man's war-god, and
from all parts of the kloof the Kaffirs they began shouting. You could
hear 'em comin'. The Colonel he looked round and said `Retire!' So he
had to turn back after all. He shelled the kloof all that afternoon;
and the Kaffirs they just moved on."
"And what did the Colonel say to you?"
"He said he'd half a mind to tie me up for givin' orders to the
regiment, and he went on most horrible; then when he cooled down he give
me a huntin' knife, with five blades and a corkscrew, and said he would
mention me in despatches. I dunno whether he did; 't any rate I never
were called to account again, so I guess he were only skeering me.
Well, so long!"