"Yes!" said Abe, one afternoon, after he had been helping threshin'
wheat; "these newfangled machines bin smashing up all the good old
customs that were the salt of country life. This yer thresher of yours
may get through the sheaves with a lot of dust an' rattle an' smoke, but
give me the old floor, an' the oxen tramping out the ear, an' the
neighbours coming to the supper. Oh, yes! the old customs they brought
the people together and made 'em soshiable and talk. Lor' bless you,
there ain't no talking nowadays--only grunting."
"Is that so?" said I, as I brushed the dust from my eyes.
"It are. No one talks now, 'cos of these yer machines, which does
everything. Why, blow me! you can shoot a man with these new guns
without ever seeing him."
"I don't know that it is any more satisfaction for the man shot to die
with the knowledge that he knows who shot him."
"Well, I do know. Take these yer talking machines I year on. What's
the good squeaking through a machine to a man, or maybe a girl, in the
nex' street when you can't see the eyes of her, or the shape of her
lips, or the expression, without which talking's no account. Look here,
sonny, you listen to what I tell you; these yer machines goin' to turn
out people same as pins, all o' one pattern."
"You're a great talker yourself, Abe?"
"I'm not talking when I ain't got nothin' to say. When I seed the
Colonel of the 94th up by Pluto's Vale--`Who the blazes are you,' he
said, `and where the devil you come from?'--I weren't saying much, but I
took a pull at his black bottle. He were one of the ole sort were the
Colonel--grey an' peppery, an' stiff in the upper lip 's if his face bin
fixed in a iron mask. That's the sort of man he were. `The Kaffirs is
laying a trap for you,' I said to him. `They darn't do it,' he said.
`Lay a trap for the 94th! I never yeard o' sich blamed impertinence,'
he said, twisting his grey moustaches, an' glaring at me's if I'd
insulted him. `All right,' I said, `if yure too proud to take advice,
go an' walk inter the trap like a blunderin' porkipine, an' you'll get
stuck full o' assegais,' I said. `You're too free with your tongue,' he
said, gettin' red in the face; so I walked out, but bymby he came over
to where I sot by the fire, an' he sot down 'longside o' me. He talked
an' I ate, but at last he up an' came to the point. `Can you scout?' he
said. `Mejum,' says I. `Oh,' he said, `I've got a mejum scout with me.
What I want is a fust-class scout.' Well, sonny, I jes' lit my pipe
and took a puff. He looked at me under his eyebrows. `My scout tells
me the Kaffirs have retreated,' he said. `Soh!' says I, and went on
smoking. `Yes,' says he, gettin' angry aller a sudden, `and you've been
giving me false news for the sake of getting a reward.' Well, I jes'
pulled up my sleeve and showed him where I'd been stabbed. `I beg your
pardon,' he said, and riz up to go back to his tent. `Colonel,' says I,
laying hold of his sash, `if you want me to scout I'll scout, and you
can send a man along with me.' `Leave to-morrer,' he said, `if you feel
well enough;' and he marched off jes' as stiff an' unconcerned 's if
he'd asked me to supper. Soon after a young chap came up to my fire.
`I've received orders to go on scout duty with you,' he said, eyeing me
up an' down 's if I'd been some kur'ous kind o' inseck. `When do we
start?' says I. `Oh, furst thing in the morning, if you're awake.'
`Oh!' says I, `so's the Kaffirs can see us?' `There ain't no Kaffirs,'
says he; `'t any rate I ain't seen any.' `I'm startin' at midnight,' I
says, and with that turned over to sleep. Well, at midnight I woke up
and prepared to leave, thinking that young fellow wouldn't be about.
But, blow me, there he were, sitting by the fire watching me. `I'm
ready,' he said, standin' up. `What for?' `Why, to scout, of course'
`Orright,' says I; `take off that sword then, and that white hat, and
that red coat. You ain't anxious for the Kaffirs to see us furst, are
you?' He jes' opened his mouth to cheek me; then he ran off, and bymby
he came back without them things, with a grey shirt and soft hat. `Is
that right?' he said, fetching a grin. I jes' nodded, an' off we
stepped inter the dark of the night. Slipping by the sentries without
givin' 'em good evenin', we marched along outer the side of the valley
where the camp were pitched to where it narrowed into a poort, between
big krantzes, with a kloof running down on the left side. By sunrise we
were on the divide between the poort and the nex' valley, jest about
where the road led over the neck ahead of the troops. We took cover and
looked around. `There's a Kaffir,' said I, `over yonder on that rock
above the far krantz, watching the camp.' The young chap fetched a
laugh. `That Kaffir,' said he, `is a vidette, and there's a whole
string of 'em on the heights. None of the enemy can get inter the poort
without being seen.' Well, this was up against me, an' I kep' quiet,
looking away down inter the next valley where the road track twisted
along the steep aside of the thick bush. `That's the place for an
ambush,' said the young chap, `down in that ravine. If there are any
Kaffirs about they will be there. Let us go down.' I jes' sot there
watchin', an' bymby he began to fidget; then he up an' tole me that if I
would not scout, he would. `There's no Kaffirs in the far valley,' I
said. `I'm tired of you,' he said, in one o' them sort o' drawn tones
that always reminds me o' a sword glinting out o' the scabbard; `I came
out to scout, not to lie in cover; you may stay here by yourself; I'm
going inter the valley below.' I nearly got angry, but then I thought
what's the use, so I jest explained matters. `There's no Kaffirs down
there,' says I, `but there is Kaffirs down here in the poort in that big
kloof, an', what's more, them pickets o' yours will be assegaied before
long. I'll tell you why. See them birds flying over that kloof?
They've been startled, an', what's more, when they settled jest now they
started off ag'in on a new flight, an', what's more, I seed a jackal an'
a ram slip away over the rise. That's good enough for me, an' when it's
dark I'll slip back to the camp to tell the Colonel.' `Are you sure?'
he said, lookin' at me hard. `Certain,' I said. `Then,' said he, `we
must go back to the Colonel at once.'
"`You might start to go back,' I said, `but you'd never reach half way.
Where's the picket?' I said. He took a look at the krantz where we'd
seen the figgur of a man, and he seed the poor beggar was gone. `Yes,'
I said, `he's been assegaied!'
"`My God!' he said, `can't we do anything to save the others?'
"`It's no go,' said I, pulling out my pipe. `Haven't you got any
heart?' he said, fiercely, then he began to move off. Well, that
wouldn't do, so I pulled him back. `Keep still,' says I; `the pickets
must look after themselves; we've got to save the camp.' Well, blow me,
that made him worse, and he struggled to get free, saying the 94th
didn't want to be saved from any Kaffirs, and all that--but I jes' hung
onter him, an' while we were struggling in a holler behind a rock, up
there came the sound of a bugle. `Hark!' he said, lettin' go his hold;
`the regiment has struck camp--that's the order to advance.' `The
blamed fool,' I said, `he'll march straight inter the trap.' `Soh,'
says he, then he made a bolt, saying as he ran, `I must warn them.' I
seed it were no use, an' I let him go. By gosh! he jes' bounded down
from rock to rock, without taking any cover, straight for the track that
ran down the poort past the kloof to the regiment. At the same time I
seed a black figure running down the slope from where the picket had
been, then another an' another, all of 'em crouchin'. Of course, there
were Kaffirs there, an' in course they seed him, an' they were runnin'
down to stop him."
"And what did you do?"
"What did I do? Well I jes' sat an' looked, an' bymby I edged away over
the randt away from the Kaffirs. Then I sot off at a run round to get
to the back of the krantze where the picket had been killed."
"You didn't know he had been killed."
"Well, according to all that was goin' on he oughter bin killed, and 't
any rate I made round that way--but if you're going to talk to me like
that I'll jes' shut up. I'm gwine to supper now."