MORTAL MIND
Therefore, when the blow fell and Sherman had written her a letter, not
daring to see her, telling her as gently as he could, but with an air of
finality which there was no mistaking, that the mortgage on Guildford
had been bought and foreclosed by Colonel Yancey, and therefore, in his
opinion, it was lost to the Lees for ever, Carolina realized for the
first time how tenacious had been her hold on the hope of possessing it.
In an instant, with her woman's instinct, she saw what it had taken
years for Sherman to discover. Colonel Yancey had, as Carolina found,
learned that it was Captain Lee's and Carolina's dearest wish to restore
Guildford. The two men had talked intimately. Both were Southern,
although Colonel Yancey was a Georgian, but with the confidence in each
other's integrity, which is typical of most Southern men, and which has
led to the ruin of many an honest man, Captain Lee confided his hopes to
Colonel Yancey, who profited by them to secure Guildford for himself,
and thus gain a hold over Carolina.
It was so easy to do this, in the most ordinary business manner, with
Sherman both unsuspicious of him and his sister's love for the place,
that at times Colonel Yancey almost had the grace to be ashamed of
himself.
Carolina saw the whole vile plot, and the shock and disappointment put
her fairly beside herself. She was so sure that she had got at the root
of the matter that she at once disbelieved that part of Sherman's story
which said that Colonel Yancey was a fugitive from justice. If he had
cheated this syndicate, he had done it in such a manner that it left no
illegal entanglements, and she was sure that he was free to return to
this country whenever he chose. If not, her whole theory fell to the
ground, for she knew that Colonel Yancey would not dare to offer her a
reputation which the law had power to smirch.
It never was Carolina's way to wax confidential, but one day Kate
surprised her in a particularly desperate mood. Carolina was in her
habit, waiting for her horse to be brought around, and when Kate
entered, she was walking up and down the peaceful blue and silver
boudoir like an outraged lioness.
"It's no use, Kate!" she cried, when her friend began to remonstrate.
"I have come to the end of my rope. You don't know the truth because I
have been afraid to tell you. You couldn't have understood if I had
told you. Even if I should sit down now and spend a whole day trying to
explain why I adored Guildford and why I am so upset over its loss, at
the end of the time you would only shake your head and say, 'Poor
Carolina,' without in the least understanding me. No one ever did
understand about Guildford except dear Daddy, and since he died, I've
been afraid to let even God know how much I wanted it, because I knew if
He did, He would take it away from me! He takes everything away from me
that I love! That is His way of showing His vaunted kindness. He is
indeed a God of vengeance! He punishes His children as no earthly
father would be mean enough to do. Oh, I won't hush! But the end has
come, Kate, to even God's power to hurt me. I have nothing left for Him
to take. Let Him be satisfied with His revenge. I wouldn't care if He
took my life now, so He is practically powerless! He has reached His
limit!"
"Oh, Carolina!" almost screamed Kate. "Do be careful how you blaspheme!
Goodness knows I am not religious, but I am a member of the Church and I
am not wicked!"
"You have never suffered, Kate, or you could bear, not only to hear, but
to say worse things than I am saying. If you only knew how much worse
my thoughts are!"
"But you will be punished for them, Carolina! I--I don't like to preach,
but God always sends afflictions to those who defy Him!"
"I wouldn't care if He killed me!" cried Carolina, furiously. "I have
nothing left to live for. I hope I shall never come back alive from this
ride!"
When she had rushed from the room, leaving that terrible wish in Kate's
memory, Kate shivered with apprehensions.
"Something awful will happen to Carolina!" she muttered. "I never knew
it to fail!" But her eyes filled with tears. "What if I had to bear
what she has!" she thought. "Loss of father, mother, home, and fortune!
Poor girl! Poor girl!"
She had intended to go out, but some inner voice told her to wait.
Carolina's dreadful mood and reckless words haunted her. She went
restlessly from room to room, and anxiously listened for sounds of her
return. And so keenly was she expecting a misfortune that when the
telephone-bell rang sharply, it calmed her at once.
"It has happened!" she said to herself, as she flew to answer.
The message was that Carolina had been thrown from her horse and
dragged. They were bringing her home.
"I knew it!" said Kate. "She was in too awful a mood to wear spurs with
Astra. I ought to have made her take them off."
Carolina was still unconscious when they brought her in. Kate caught a
glimpse of her still, white face as they carried her up-stairs. She
waited with feverish impatience for the doctor's verdict, with her mind
full of Carolina's awful words. "I knew it!" she kept whispering to
herself through a rain of tears. "God always gets even with people who
dare Him to do His worst!"
It seemed hours before Doctor Colfax finally came out, with his refined
face full of pain.
"Is she dead?" whispered Kate, catching at his arm. He shook his head.
"Disfigured?" continued Kate, with growing anxiety.
"Worse!" said the doctor. "She has broken her hip badly. Even if she
recovers, she will be lamed for life!"
Kate covered her mouth to repress a scream.
Beautiful Carolina lamed for life!
"Crutches?" whispered Kate.
"I am afraid so!" said the doctor, with a deep sigh. "I am going to
have a consultation. We will do everything we can to preserve her
health--and her beauty, poor child!"
Kate turned away in a passion of tears, well knowing that to Carolina's
proud spirit dependence would be far worse than death.
Bad news travels on the wings of the wind, and before the day was over
Carolina's accident was on everybody's tongue.
Her sister-in-law was indignant, in a sense outraged by Carolina's
behaviour. She blamed her first of all for existing in her radiant
youth and beauty and so far outshining her own modest charms. She
blamed her secondly for permitting Sherman to lose her money and thus
make it Addie's duty to offer her a home. She blamed her thirdly, and
most bitterly of all, for injuring herself so hopelessly that she could
never marry, thus placing herself upon Addie to support for life. Was
ever a more unkind fate invented? Addie's temper, never of the best,
burst all bounds as this situation became plain to her, and she
expressed herself fluently to Sherman, who felt himself included in her
misfortunes as part author of them.
It was an unhappy time for all concerned, for Carolina's bitter
denunciations of her fate and her grief over her dependence could hardly
be checked even in the presence of Kate and her family, whose
hospitality and friendship, so generously offered, put the girl under at
least civilized bonds of restraint. There were times, however, when she
was alone, that she relapsed into such a savage state that she tore her
hair and bit her own tender flesh.
The sight of such rebellion reduced even Kate's mutinous nature to peace
and quiet by contrast, and Kate was developed into a gentle friend of
Christian sentiments by Carolina's great need.
The conversations they held with each other were long and intimate.
Kate tried to put faith in the series of doctors who succeeded each
other like chapters in a book, but the sufferer's clear eyes saw not
only through Kate's kind intentions, but through the great surgeon's
hopeless hopes, and from the first she knew the worst. Knew that her
bright youth was for ever gone; that her usefulness was ended; that
never again could she expect even to ornament a social function,
crippled as she was and disfigured by ungainly crutches. Her one hope
was to die. Thus she made no effort to recover, and her strength,
instead of aiding her, gradually faded away until her accident, though
not at first of a fatal nature, began to be looked on as her death-blow.
At this juncture, Addie, struck with remorse, came and offered Carolina
a home, but Carolina shook her head.
"Thank you, Addie, but when I move from here it will be to rest for
ever. I want to die here with Kate. She loves me!"
It was a bitter thrust, and Addie felt it to the verge of tears.
Indeed, she was so moved by pity for the frail shadow that Carolina had
become, that she forgave the girl for having been so beautiful and began
to be fond of her, as one is fond of a crippled child, who had been
obnoxious in health.
Trouble develops people.
Mrs. Winchester was detained in Boston by the dangerous illness of the
niece she had gone to visit, and although greatly fretting at being kept
away from Carolina, was fairly obliged to stay.
Carolina felt that she was welcome at the Howards, for not only Kate's
mother but her father often came to sit with her and cheer her and to
urge upon her how glad they were to be able to help her when she needed
help.
Carolina was grateful, the more so because she felt that she had not
long to live. She had been in bed several months, and while the
surgeons said the broken bones had knit, yet it was agony for her to
move. She almost fainted with pain when they were obliged to lift her
from one position to another.
Kate spent hours in trying to interest her in the life around her. She
felt frightened when she discovered the depth of Carolina's
listlessness. Her weakness took a stubborn form.
"I am only one of the crowd now, Kate dear," she said one day after a
long argument from her friend. "There is no use in wasting so much
energy over me. Go and forget me and enjoy yourself. I used to be of
the exclusive few who got their own ways always. Now I belong to the
great mob of malcontents--the anarchists of the social world. I shall
not want to blow up kings and presidents, but I would like to throw a
bomb at every happy face I see."
Her voice trailed off to a weak whisper.
"Y-you wouldn't need many bombs, then," said Kate, "for I never s-see
any really happy faces. Did you ever in all your life--either at balls
abroad or the opera here, see a perfectly happy face?"
Carolina shook her head and closed her eyes wearily.
Suddenly she opened them again.
"Yes," she said, "I have seen one--the night of 'Faust.' It was
Rosemary Goddard!"
Kate gave a little scream.
"Well, I'd rather follow you to the grave you seem so bent on f-falling
into," she stammered, "than to get happiness from such a source. My
dear, Rosemary Goddard is a C-Christian Scientist!"
Kate's tone indicated that Rosemary had contracted a loathsome disease.
Carolina fixed her eyes on Kate. She was not of a contrary disposition,
yet the difference between Kate Howard's tone and Rosemary Goddard's
face made her stop to think.
"I should like to talk to Rosemary," she said at last. To her surprise
and consternation, Kate burst into tears.
"If you g-go and turn into one of those n-nasty things," she sobbed, "it
will end everything. I'd rather you died!"
"Then never mind," said Carolina, wearily. "I don't want to vex
anybody. Perhaps I shall die."
Kate jumped up. The momentary colour faded from Carolina's face and the
strength from her voice. Kate recognized the change.
"I'll go and f-fetch her," she said, with her old-time change of front.
"She may do you good."
When she came back with Rosemary, she saw what Carolina had seen in
Rosemary's face--an illumination which no one could understand. It
transfigured her.
Kate left the two girls together, and walked the floor in tempestuous
anger all during Rosemary's stay in the house. Something in Carolina's
eyes as they first met Rosemary's told Kate that the poison was already
at work, and that Carolina was ripe for the hated new religion.