REVENONS A NOS MOUTONS--i.e. (for the benefit of country members) to
return to our mutton, or rather the "trimmings." The ornaments which
notify the pecuniary superiority of the wearer include chains, rings,
studs, canes, watches, and purses. _Chains_ should be of gold, and cannot
be too ostentatiously displayed; for a proper disposition of these
"braveries" is sure to induce the utmost confidence in the highly useful
occupants of Pigot's and Robson's Directory. We have seen some waistcoats
so elaborately festooned, that we would stake our inkstand that the most
unbelieving money-lender would have taken the personal security of the
wearer without hesitation. The perfection to which mosaic-work has arrived
may possibly hold out a strong temptation to the thoughtless to substitute
the shadow for the reality. Do not deceive yourself; an experienced eye
will instantly detect the imposition, though your ornaments may be
[Illustration: FRESH EVERY DAY;]
for, we will defy any true gentleman to preserve an equanimity of
expression under the hint--either visual or verbal--that (to use the
language of the poet) you are "a man of brass."
We have a faint recollection of a class of gentlemen who used to attach an
heterogeneal collection of massive seals and keys to one end of a chain,
and a small church-clock to the other. The chain then formed a pendulum in
front of their small-clothes, and the dignified oscillation of the
appendages was considered to distinguish the gentleman. They were also
used as auxiliaries in argument; for whenever an hiatus occurred in the
discussion, the speaker, by having resort to his watch-chain, could
frequently confound his adversary by commencing a series of rapid
gyrations. But the fashion has descended to merchants, lawyers, doctors,
_et sui generis_, who never drive bargains, ruin debtors, kill patients,
_et cetera_, without having recourse to this imposing decoration.
_Rings_ are the next indicators of superfluous cash. As they are _merely
ornamental_, they should resemble vipers, tapeworms, snakes, toads,
monkey's, death's heads, and similar engaging and pleasing subjects. The
more liberally the fingers are enriched, the greater the assurance that
the hand is never employed in any useful labour, and is consequently only
devoted to the minisitration of indulgences, and the exhibition of those
elegant productions which distinguish the highly-civilised gentleman from
the _highly-tattooed_ savage.
Mourning-rings have an air of extreme respectability; for they are always
suggestive of a legacy, and of the fact that you have been connected with
somebody who was not buried at the expense of the parish.
_Studs_ should be selected with the greatest possible care, and in our
opinion the small gold ones can only be worn by a perfect gentleman; for
whilst they perform their required office, they do not distract the
attention from the quality and whiteness of your linen. Some that we have
seen were evidently intended for cabinet pictures, rifle targets and
breast-plates.
_Pins._--These necessary adjuncts to the cravat of a gentleman have
undergone a singular revolution during late years; but we confess we are
admirers of the present fashion, for if it is desirable to indulge in an
ornament, it is equally desirable that everybody should be gratified by
the exhibition thereof. We presume that it is with this commendable
feeling that pins'-heads (whose smallness in former days became a proverb)
should now resemble the apex of a beadle's staff; and, as though to make
"assurance doubly sure," a plurality is absolutely required for the
decoration of a gentleman. In these times, when political partisanship is
so exceedingly violent, why not make the pins indicative of the opinions
of the wearer, as the waistcoat was in the days of Fox. We could suggest
some very appropriate designs; for instance, the heads of Peel and Wakley,
connected by a _very_ slight link--Sibthorp and Peter Borthwick by a
series of long-car rings--Muntz and D'Israeli cut out of very hard wood,
and united by a hair-chain; and many others too numerous to mention.
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