CHAPTER SEVEN

Now once more it seemed that for a time I might lead a sanely ordered

existence. Not for long did I hope it. I think I had become resigned

to the unending series of shocks that seemed to compose the daily life

in North America. Few had been my peaceful hours since that fatal

evening in Paris. And the shocks had become increasingly violent. When

I tried to picture what the next might be I found myself shuddering.

For the present, like a stag that has eluded the hounds but hears

their distant baying, I lay panting in momentary security, gathering

breath for some new course. I mean to say, one couldn’t tell what

might happen next. Again and again I found myself coming all over

frightened.

Wholly restored I was now in the esteem of Mr. Belknap-Jackson, who

never tired of discussing with me our own life and people. Indeed he

was quite the most intelligent foreigner I had encountered. I may seem

to exaggerate in the American fashion, but I doubt if a single one of

the others could have named the counties of England or the present

Lord Mayor of London. Our host was not like that. Also he early gave

me to know that he felt quite as we do concerning the rebellion of our

American colonies, holding it a matter for the deepest regret; and

justly proud he was of the circumstance that at the time of that

rebellion his own family had put all possible obstacles in the way of

the traitorous Washington. To be sure, I dare say he may have boasted

a bit in this.

It was during the long journey across America which we now set out

upon that I came to this sympathetic understanding of his character

and of the chagrin he constantly felt at being compelled to live among

people with whom he could have as little sympathy as I myself had.

This journey began pleasantly enough, and through the farming counties

of Philadelphia, Ohio, and Chicago was not without interest. Beyond

came an incredibly large region, much like the steppes of Siberia, I

fancy: vast uninhabited stretches of heath and down, with but here and

there some rude settlement about which the poor peasants would eagerly

assemble as our train passed through. I could not wonder that our own

travellers have always spoken so disparagingly of the American

civilization. It is a country that would never do with us.

Although we lived in this train a matter of nearly four days, I fancy

not a single person dressed for dinner as one would on shipboard. Even

Belknap-Jackson dined in a lounge-suit, though he wore gloves

constantly by day, which was more than I could get Cousin Egbert to

do.

As we went ever farther over these leagues of fen and fell and rolling

veldt, I could but speculate unquietly as to what sort of place the

Red Gap must be. A residential town for gentlemen and families, I had

understood, with a little colony of people that really mattered, as I

had gathered from Mrs. Effie. And yet I was unable to divine their

object in going so far away to live. One goes to distant places for

the winter sports or for big game shooting, but this seemed rather

grotesquely perverse.

Little did I then dream of the spiritual agencies that were to insure

my gradual understanding of the town and its people. Unsuspectingly I

fronted a future so wildly improbable that no power could have made me

credit it had it then been foretold by the most rarely endowed gypsy.

It is always now with a sort of terror that I look back to those last

moments before my destiny had unfolded far enough to be actually

alarming. I was as one floating in fancied security down the calm

river above their famous Niagara Falls--to be presently dashed without

warning over the horrible verge. I mean to say, I never suspected.

Our last day of travel arrived. We were now in a roughened and most

untidy welter of mountain and jungle and glen, with violent tarns and

bleak bits of moorland that had all too evidently never known the

calming touch of the landscape gardener; a region, moreover, peopled

by a much more lawless appearing peasantry than I had observed back in

the Chicago counties, people for the most part quite wretchedly gotten

up and distinctly of the lower or working classes.

Late in the afternoon our train wound out of a narrow cutting and into

a valley that broadened away on every hand to distant mountains.

Beyond doubt this prospect could, in a loose way of speaking, be

called scenery, but of too violent a character it was for cultivated

tastes. Then, as my eye caught the vague outlines of a settlement or

village in the midst of this valley, Cousin Egbert, who also looked

from, the coach window, amazed me by crying out:

“There she is--little old Red Gap! The fastest growing town in the

State, if any one should ask you.”

“Yes, sir; I’ll try to remember, sir,” I said, wondering why I should

be asked this.

“Garden spot of the world,” he added in a kind of ecstasy, to which I

made no response, for this was too preposterous. Nearing the place our

train passed an immense hoarding erected by the roadway, a score of

feet high, I should say, and at least a dozen times as long, upon

which was emblazoned in mammoth red letters on a black ground,

“_Keep Your Eye on Red Gap!_” At either end of this lettering was

painted a gigantic staring human eye. Regarding this monstrosity with

startled interest, I heard myself addressed by Belknap-Jackson:

“The sort of vulgarity I’m obliged to contend with,” said he, with a

contemptuous gesture toward the hoarding. Indeed the thing lacked

refinement in its diction, while the painted eyes were not Art in any

true sense of the word. “The work of our precious Chamber of

Commerce,” he added, “though I pleaded with them for days and days.”

“It’s a sort of thing would never do with us, sir,” I said.

“It’s what one has to expect from a commercialized bourgeoise,” he

returned bitterly. “And even our association, ‘The City Beautiful,’ of

which I was president, helped to erect the thing. Of course I resigned

at once.”

“Naturally, sir; the colours are atrocious.”

“And the words a mere blatant boast!” He groaned and left me, for we

were now well into a suburb of detached villas, many of them of a

squalid character, and presently we had halted at the station. About

this bleak affair was the usual gathering of peasantry and the common

people, villagers, agricultural labourers, and the like, and these at

once showed a tremendous interest in our party, many of them hailing

various members of us with a quite offensive familiarity.

Belknap-Jackson, of course, bore himself through this with a proper

aloofness, as did his wife and Mrs. Effie, but I heard the Mixer

booming salutations right and left. It was Cousin Egbert, however, who

most embarrassed me by the freedom of his manner with these persons.

He shook hands warmly with at least a dozen of them and these hailed

him with rude shouts, dealt him smart blows on the back and, forming a

circle about him, escorted him to a carriage where Mrs. Effie and I

awaited him. Here the driver, a loutish and familiar youth, also

seized his hand and, with some crude effect of oratory, shouted to the

crowd.

“What’s the matter with Sour-dough?” To this, with a flourish of their

impossible hats, they quickly responded in unison,

“He’s all right!” accenting the first word terrifically.

Then, to the immense relief of Mrs. Effie and myself, he was released

and we were driven quickly off from the raffish set. Through their

Regent and Bond streets we went, though I mean to say they were on an

unbelievably small or village scale, to an outlying region of detached

villas that doubtless would be their St. John’s Wood, but my efforts

to observe closely were distracted by the extraordinary freedom with

which our driver essayed to chat with us, saying he “guessed” we were

glad to get back to God’s country, and things of a similar intimate

nature. This was even more embarrassing to Mrs. Effie than it was to

me, since she more than once felt obliged to answer the fellow with a

feigned cordiality.

Relieved I was when we drew up before the town house of the Flouds.

Set well back from the driveway in a faded stretch of common, it was

of rather a garbled architecture, with the Tudor, late Gothic, and

French Renaissance so intermixed that one was puzzled to separate the

periods. Nor was the result so vast as this might sound. Hardly would

the thing have made a wing of the manor house at Chaynes-Wotten. The

common or small park before it was shielded from the main thoroughfare

by a fence of iron palings, and back of this on either side of a

gravelled walk that led to the main entrance were two life-sized stags

not badly sculptured from metal.

Once inside I began to suspect that my position was going to be more

than a bit dicky. I mean to say, it was not an establishment in our

sense of the word, being staffed, apparently, by two China persons who

performed the functions of cook, housemaids, footmen, butler, and

housekeeper. There was not even a billiard room.

During the ensuing hour, marked by the arrival of our luggage and the

unpacking of boxes, I meditated profoundly over the difficulties of my

situation. In a wilderness, beyond the confines of civilization, I

would undoubtedly be compelled to endure the hardships of the pioneer;

yet for the present I resolved to let no inkling of my dismay escape.

The evening meal over--dinner in but the barest technical sense--I sat

alone in my own room, meditating thus darkly. Nor was I at all cheered

by the voice of Cousin Egbert, who sang in his own room adjoining. I

had found this to be a habit of his, and his songs are always dolorous

to the last degree. Now, for example, while life seemed all too black

to me, he sang a favourite of his, the pathetic ballad of two small

children evidently begging in a business thoroughfare:

“Lone and weary through the streets we wander,

For we have no place to lay our head;

Not a friend is left on earth to shelter us,

For both our parents now are dead.”

It was a fair crumpler in my then mood. It made me wish to be out of

North America--made me long for London; London with a yellow fog and

its greasy pavements, where one knew what to apprehend. I wanted him

to stop, but still he atrociously sang in his high, cracked voice:

“Dear mother died when we were both young,

And father built for us a home,

But now he’s killed by falling timbers,

And we are left here all alone.”

I dare say I should have rushed madly into the night had there been

another verse, but now he was still. A moment later, however, he

entered my room with the suggestion that I stroll about the village

streets with him, he having a mission to perform for Mrs. Effie. I had

already heard her confide this to him. He was to proceed to the office

of their newspaper and there leave with the press chap a notice of our

arrival which from day to day she had been composing on the train.

“I just got to leave this here piece for the _Recorder_,” he

said; “then we can sasshay up and down for a while and meet some of

the boys.”

How profoundly may our whole destiny be affected by the mood of an

idle moment; by some superficial indecision, mere fruit of a transient

unrest. We lightly debate, we hesitate, we yawn, unconscious of the

brink. We half-heartedly decline a suggested course, then lightly

accept from sheer ennui, and “life,” as I have read in a quite

meritorious poem, “is never the same again.” It was thus I now toyed

there with my fate in my hands, as might a child have toyed with a

bauble. I mean to say, I was looking for nothing thick.

“She’s wrote a very fancy piece for that newspaper,” Cousin Egbert

went on, handing me the sheets of manuscript. Idly I glanced down the

pages.

“Yesterday saw the return to Red Gap of Mrs. Senator James Knox Floud

and Egbert G. Floud from their extensive European tour,” it began.

Farther I caught vagrant lines, salient phrases: “--the well-known

social leader of our North Side set ... planning a series of

entertainments for the approaching social season that promise to

eclipse all previous gayeties of Red Gap’s smart set ... holding the

reins of social leadership with a firm grasp ... distinguished for her

social graces and tact as a hostess ... their palatial home on Ophir

Avenue, the scene of so much of the smart social life that has

distinguished our beautiful city.”

It left me rather unmoved from my depression, even the concluding

note: “The Flouds are accompanied by their English manservant, secured

through the kind offices of the brother of his lordship Earl of

Brinstead, the well-known English peer, who will no doubt do much to

impart to the coming functions that air of smartness which

distinguishes the highest social circles of London, Paris, and other

capitals of the great world of fashion.”

“Some mess of words, that,” observed Cousin Egbert, and it did indeed

seem to be rather intimately phrased.

“Better come along with me,” he again urged. There was a moment’s

fateful silence, then, quite mechanically, I arose and prepared to

accompany him. In the hall below I handed him his evening stick and

gloves, which he absently took from me, and we presently traversed

that street of houses much in the fashion of the Floud house and

nearly all boasting some sculptured bit of wild life on their

terraces.

It was a calm night of late summer; all Nature seemed at peace. I

looked aloft and reflected that the same stars were shining upon the

civilization I had left so far behind. As we walked I lost myself in

musing pensively upon this curious astronomical fact and upon the

further vicissitudes to which I would surely be exposed. I compared

myself whimsically to an explorer chap who has ventured among a tribe

of natives and who must seem to adopt their weird manners and customs

to save himself from their fanatic violence.

From this I was aroused by Cousin Egbert, who, with sudden dismay

regarding his stick and gloves, uttered a low cry of anguish and

thrust them into my hands before I had divined his purpose.

“You’ll have to tote them there things,” he swiftly explained. “I

forgot where I was.” I demurred sharply, but he would not listen.

“I didn’t mind it so much in Paris and Europe, where I ain’t so very

well known, but my good gosh! man, this is my home town. You’ll have

to take them. People won’t notice it in you so much, you being a

foreigner, anyway.”

Without further objection I wearily took them, finding a desperate

drollery in being regarded as a foreigner, whereas I was simply alone

among foreigners; but I knew that Cousin Egbert lacked the subtlety to

grasp this point of view and made no effort to lay it before him. It

was clear to me then, I think, that he would forever remain socially

impossible, though perhaps no bad sort from a mere human point of

view.

We continued our stroll, turning presently from this residential

avenue to a street of small unlighted shops, and from this into a

wider and brilliantly lighted thoroughfare of larger shops, where my

companion presently began to greet native acquaintances. And now once

more he affected that fashion of presenting me to his friends that I

had so deplored in Paris. His own greeting made, he would call out

heartily: “Shake hands with my friend Colonel Ruggles!” Nor would he

heed my protests at this, so that in sheer desperation I presently

ceased making them, reflecting that after all we were encountering the

street classes of the town.

At a score of such casual meetings I was thus presented, for he seemed

to know quite almost every one and at times there would be a group of

natives about us on the pavement. Twice we went into “saloons,” as

they rather pretentiously style their public houses, where Cousin

Egbert would stand the drinks for all present, not omitting each time

to present me formally to the bar-man. In all these instances I was at

once asked what I thought of their town, which was at first rather

embarrassing, as I was confident that any frank disclosure of my

opinion, being necessarily hurried, might easily be misunderstood. I

at length devised a conventional formula of praise which, although

feeling a frightful fool, I delivered each time thereafter.

Thus we progressed the length of their commercial centre, the

incidents varying but little.

“Hello, Sour-dough, you old shellback! When did you come off the

trail?”

“Just got in. My lands! but it’s good to be back. Billy, shake hands

with my friend Colonel Ruggles.”

I mean to say, the persons were not all named “Billy,” that being used

only by way of illustration. Sometimes they would be called “Doc” or

“Hank” or “Al” or “Chris.” Nor was my companion invariably called

“shellback.” “Horned-toad” and “Stinging-lizard” were also epithets

much in favour with his friends.

At the end of this street we at length paused before the office, as I

saw, of “The Red Gap _Recorder_; Daily and Weekly.” Cousin Egbert

entered here, but came out almost at once.

“Henshaw ain’t there, and she said I got to be sure and give him this

here piece personally; so come on. He’s up to a lawn-feet.”

“A social function, sir?” I asked.

“No; just a lawn-feet up in Judge Ballard’s front yard to raise money

for new uniforms for the band--that’s what the boy said in there.”

“But would it not be highly improper for me to appear there, sir?” I

at once objected. “I fear it’s not done, sir.”

“Shucks!” he insisted, “don’t talk foolish that way. You’re a peach of

a little mixer all right. Come on! Everybody goes. They’ll even let me

in. I can give this here piece to Henshaw and then we’ll spend a

little money to help the band-boys along.”

My misgivings were by no means dispelled, yet as the affair seemed to

be public rather than smart, I allowed myself to be led on.

Into another street of residences we turned, and after a brisk walk I

was able to identify the “front yard” of which my companion had

spoken. The strains of an orchestra came to us and from the trees and

shrubbery gleamed the lights of paper lanterns. I could discern tents

and marquees, a throng of people moving among them. Nearer, I observed

a refreshment pavilion and a dancing platform.

Reaching the gate, Cousin Egbert paid for us an entrance fee of two

shillings to a young lady in gypsy costume whom he greeted cordially

as Beryl Mae, not omitting to present me to her as Colonel Ruggles.

We moved into the thick of the crowd. There was much laughter and

hearty speech, and it at once occurred to me that Cousin Egbert had

been right: it would not be an assemblage of people that mattered, but

rather of small tradesmen, artisans, tenant-farmers and the like with

whom I could properly mingle.

My companion was greeted by several of the throng, to whom he in turn

presented me, among them after a bit to a slight, reddish-bearded

person wearing thick nose-glasses whom I understood to be the pressman

we were in search of. Nervous of manner he was and preoccupied with a

notebook in which he frantically scribbled items from time to time.

Yet no sooner was I presented to him than he began a quizzing sort of

conversation with me that lasted near a half-hour, I should say. Very

interested he seemed to hear of my previous life, having in full

measure that naïve curiosity about one which Americans take so little

pains to hide. Like the other natives I had met that evening, he was

especially concerned to know what I thought of Red Gap. The chat was

not at all unpleasant, as he seemed to be a well-informed person, and

it was not without regret that I noted the approach of Cousin Egbert

in company with a pleasant-faced, middle-aged lady in Oriental garb,

carrying a tambourine.

“Mrs. Ballard, allow me to make you acquainted with my friend Colonel

Ruggles!” Thus Cousin Egbert performed his ceremony. The lady grasped

my hand with great cordiality.

“You men have monopolized the Colonel long enough,” she began with a

large coquetry that I found not unpleasing, and firmly grasping my arm

she led me off in the direction of the refreshment pavilion, where I

was playfully let to know that I should purchase her bits of

refreshment, coffee, plum-cake, an ice, things of that sort. Through

it all she kept up a running fire of banter, from time to time

presenting me to other women young and old who happened about us, all

of whom betrayed an interest in my personality that was not

unflattering, even from this commoner sort of the town’s people.

Nor would my new friend release me when she had refreshed herself, but

had it that I must dance with her. I had now to confess that I was

unskilled in the native American folk dances which I had observed

being performed, whereupon she briskly chided me for my backwardness,

but commanded a valse from the musicians, and this we danced together.

I may here say that I am not without a certain finesse on the

dancing-floor and I rather enjoyed the momentary abandon with this

village worthy. Indeed I had rather enjoyed the whole affair, though I

felt that my manner was gradually marking me as one apart from the

natives; made conscious I was of a more finished, a suaver formality

in myself--the Mrs. Ballard I had met came at length to be by way of

tapping me coquettishly with her tambourine in our lighter moments.

Also my presence increasingly drew attention, more and more of the

village belles and matrons demanding in their hearty way to be

presented to me. Indeed the society was vastly more enlivening, I

reflected, than I had found it in a similar walk of life at home.

Rather regretfully I left with Cousin Egbert, who found me at last in

one of the tents having my palm read by the gypsy young person who had

taken our fees at the gate. Of course I am aware that she was probably

without any real gifts for this science, as so few are who undertake

it at charity bazaars, yet she told me not a few things that were

significant: that my somewhat cold exterior and air of sternness were

but a mask to shield a too-impulsive nature; that I possessed great

firmness of character and was fond of Nature. She added peculiarly at

the last “I see trouble ahead, but you are not to be downcast--the

skies will brighten.”

It was at this point that Cousin Egbert found me, and after he had

warned the young woman that I was “some mixer” we departed. Not until

we had reached the Floud home did he discover that he had quite

forgotten to hand the press-chap Mrs. Effie’s manuscript.

“Dog on the luck!” said he in his quaint tone of exasperation, “here

I’ve went and forgot to give Mrs. Effie’s piece to the editor.” He

sighed ruefully. “Well, to-morrow’s another day.”

And so the die was cast. To-morrow was indeed another day!

Yet I fell asleep on a memory of the evening that brought me a sort of

shamed pleasure--that I had falsely borne the stick and gloves of

Cousin Egbert. I knew they had given me rather an air.

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