_House of Lords, Monday Night, July 25._--Peers received important
accession of strength to-night. Gentleman long known in Commons as "Old
Mother HUBBARD" been translated, and will henceforward be known to
history as Lord ADDINGTON. His early impression was that he should have
been CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER. Admiration for DIZZY, and respect for
STAFFORD NORTHCOTE; but always thought they were out of place at the
Treasury whilst he sat below the Gangway, fain to be content with
criticising their schemes. Markiss didn't really know what to do with
him. Couldn't appoint him CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER in succession to
GRANDOLPH. Yet HUBBARD felt he must have something. Markiss, thinking it
over one day, recalled the fact that HUBBARD had absolutely safe seat in
City.
"Good," he said. "Let's make him a Peer."
So here he is to-night, swaggering up floor of House of Lords, with
little ambulatory swing of coat-tails, familiar for generations in House
of Commons. Markiss looks on, pleased with fulfilment of his happy
thought.
"Nice old gentleman," he remarked, _sotto voce_. "Prosy when he starts,
and always something of a bore. But he'll do for the House of Lords.
Moreover, have now finally shut him up. Figures are his forte, Finance
his foible. Finance is the only subject that may not be discussed in
House of Lords. So, where HUBBARD was voluble, ADDINGTON must be dumb."
Great muster on Opposition Benches in House of Commons. Conservatives
not yet back from festivities in the Solent. Old Morality depressed with
consciousness that it will be impossible for him to move the Closure.
ARTHUR BALFOUR quite conciliatory in manner. Progress accordingly
comparatively rapid and altogether peaceful. At outset, threatened
encounter between SEXTON and JOHNSTON. SEXTON made inquiry as to whether
any chance of City Charter being granted to Belfast? JOHNSTON jumped up
with cry of "Stop thief!" On the Fourteenth of June--(didn't mention
hour, but precise as to day)--he had put similar question, and had, he
said, been waiting ever since for answer. Detected in SEXTON'S movement
attempt to secure monopoly of popularity. Not going to stand that. House
only laughed, and incident went no further.
[Illustration: THE PARLIAMENTARY ALPINE CLUB.]
Later, to intense delight of Parnellites, HARTINGTON and CHAMBERLAIN
differed on point raised in Irish Land Bill and voted in opposite
lobbies. "Beginning of the End," said JOSEPH GILLIS humorously clawing
at TIM HEALY.
_Business done._--Irish Land Bill in Committee.
_Tuesday_, 3 A.M.--Late enough to be here. Would have been later still
but for the presence of mind of the SPEAKER. Hour ago STUART, running in
with pile of papers moved Second Reading of Bill to legalise Langworthy
and other marriages celebrated at Antwerp by one POTTS. Debate followed,
TOMLINSON moving adjournment. House divided, 75 for adjournment and
five-and-seventy against. Everything now depended on the SPEAKER. If he
gave casting vote against adjournment, might go on merrily far into
morning. SPEAKER took another course. Quite time to go home. So
supported adjournment, and rest of business speedily wound up.
_Tuesday Evening._--CHARLIE BERESFORD about House to-night in unusually
limp condition. Avoided Treasury Bench. Wouldn't even enter House. "Only
come down," says he, "to signal postmaster to hand over letters." Rumour
gathers that CHARLES has had difficulty with his colleagues. Perhaps
feels remorse about Crimes Bill, or can't stomach Land Bill. However it
be, it is confidently whispered that he has resigned. All the Naval
Captains on Conservative side make a point of loitering about Treasury
Bench, and, if possible, exchange a word with Old Morality. If there is
vacancy at Admiralty, will want a substitute. No harm in reminding him
of the existence of one or two.
Presently made clear that it is for domestic, not political, reasons
that CHARLIE has resigned. Seems that when at Review on Saturday, he,
being on Queen's Yacht, filled up idle five minutes by signalling to his
wife on another ship. This grave breach of etiquette shakes naval force
of Great Britain to centre. Can be atoned for only by offender
sacrificing his professional position and prospects. So CHARLIE sends in
his resignation, and BRITANNIA, dissolved in tears, weeps over her
errant son. Procedure of course only formal. Can't spare gallant and
capable sailor like this on account of breach of etiquette.
[Illustration: "Stop Thief!!"]
_Business done._--Land Bill in Committee.
_Thursday Night._--TIM on the rampage. SAUNDERSON set him agog at
Question time, by rubbing him down wrong way. But it was BALFOUR who
completed work. As TIM frankly admits, cannot sit opposite BALFOUR,
smirking on Treasury Bench, without losing control of himself.
"I know it's wrong, TOBY," he said to me after, in the Lobby, "but there
is only one way to prevent it. I must quit the House, and go out for a
walk on Terrace. To see BALFOUR sitting over there on the small of his
back, sneering whilst we are trying to do our best for Ireland, is too
much for me."
Having had back put up by BALFOUR, Conservatives below Gangway opposite
completed transformation of TIM from peaceable citizen into an
infuriate. HENNIKER HEATON, charging himself only half postage, sent
frequent irritating messages across floor of House. TIM made show of
taking off coat, turning up sleeves, and harrying HENNIKER. Chairman
interposed with threat of "Naming." TIM defied him, but presently gave
in, and withdrew offensive remarks.
[Illustration: Here's Timothy Healy, Who spoke too freely.]
[Illustration: Here's Mr. de Lisle, Who "didn't even smile."
(_A Fancy Portrait._)]
Seemed all over now. DE LISLE proposed to offer few observations.
Smartly rapped on head by COURTNEY, and resumed seat. Then Division.
Whilst House cleared, DE LISLE took opportunity to have little
conversation with COURTNEY. TIM watched him with lowering eyes. The
Division takes about ten minutes. Supposing he and DE LISLE were to
pair, go on the Terrace, and have it out? Happy Thought. Suggest it to
DE LISLE. Swooped down on him while talking to COURTNEY in chair, and
plainly propounded proposition.
"Come out!" he said, in blood-curdling whisper. "Come out, if you are a
man. If you interrupt me again, I'll break your neck."
This conclusive, but as argumentative process not recognised in House.
DE LISLE went out by a door other than that affected by TIM. Chairman
said nothing, but as soon as Members returned from Division Lobby sent
for SPEAKER, and reported circumstances to him. So TIM was suspended.
Now partially anticipating the Recess. House practically empty. To-night
filled up for this scene. After it was over, Benches cleared again,
there being nothing more interesting than business to the fore.
_Business done._--Committee on Land Bill.
_Friday._--_Captain Bunsby_ appeared in House to-night. Took familiar
and graceful form of RICHARD TEMPLE. Some one questioned him as to what
would London School Board do if the Pensions Bill promoted by it did not
pass this Session? Would they terminate engagements for purpose of
compelling their servants to come within provisions of Bill?
"Sir," said Sir RICHARD, casting killing glance at Ladies' Gallery,
"whether the Board shall see fit to exercise their power is a question
which no man can answer; and, if so be, wherefore? Why, Sir, because the
Board will never form a decision on contingencies which have not yet
arisen."
House delighted. Roared with laughter.
[Illustration: "When found, make a note of for _Tit Bits_."]
"When found, make a note of for _Tit Bits_," said NEWNES; and he did.
Land Bill in Committee again. Getting terribly dull, though wakes up now
and then when HARCOURT interposes. Tremendous scene at Half-past Two
this morning, when Old Morality rebuked him. O. M. accused HARCOURT of
making charge against Ministerialists.
"I don't know what charge I have made," said HARCOURT; "but I am
prepared to maintain all I have said."
That, of course, settled matter, and Members went home.
_Business done._--Land Bill in Committee.
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