I. _You were made for each other._

A simple and self-evident proposition--it needs no comment.

II. _He never loved anyone but you! Except once, many years ago; and he

has told you all about it quite frankly. She was unworthy of him; and

married Another._

Now I have no doubt whatever, GLADYS, that you are quite jealous of

this person of whom he has told you, quite frankly and who was unworthy

of him, and married Another. I wish I could convince you of the fact

that there is no one in the world so little dangerous to you as the

person to whom he has grown indifferent. Fear rather the girls he

_doesn't_ know, the women he _will_ meet, the charming people to whom

he has just been introduced, the cousins he has never made love to! The

past can not be the rival of the present: the future may. But this is a

subject on which argument is of no avail. Reason retires, snubbed: and

retrospective sensitiveness remains. Now come his faults:--

III. _He does not like the way you do your hair, and he has a book of

dried flowers with their names written above them in Latin and violet

ink, and he shows them to you when he comes to tea._

These appear to be his only defects. I can understand that they cause

you some anxiety, but with care I trust in time they may wear off. Like

BUFFON the naturalist (_is_ it BUFFON?) or somebody, I have, from stray

bones, so to speak, to reconstruct, in imagination, the entire animal.

My impression of him is somewhat vague, but on the whole satisfactory.

It is charming of him to go home and write to you the instant he has

left you--I think it only right, of course--when people meet every day

they have a great deal more to write about than if they saw each other

occasionally. One thing in your letter puzzled me. He has been called

to the Bar, but he did not go, because he had once been thinking of

being a clergyman and he had conscientious scruples about the law. What

_can_ you mean? I am quite at a loss, but since you say it was very

noble of him and you love him all the more, I suppose it is all right.

You say his father has a maddening way of taking you aside and asking

you in general to "use your influence" with ARTHUR. He never says what

about, but gives forth irritating platitudes about "a woman's tact"

and "gentle feminine persuasion." You are quite right to agree at once

and not ask for an explanation, as it would keep you away from ARTHUR

longer, and it doesn't matter in the least.

It is very curious about the day ARTHUR went shooting and told you he

had shot two brace of grouse, and you found out afterwards it was not

true, he had shot thirteen. You ask me "how you should act," and say

you have as yet "taken no steps in the matter."

Of course, if you find him out in a little fib and let him know it,

he will think you have a horribly suspicious nature and be rather

disgusted at your want of trustfulness; on the other hand, if you don't

show it, he will think you extraordinarily stupid and easily duped. I

think if I were you, I should whenever the subject is alluded to, pin

on an enigmatic smile and be silent. This will be quite sufficient

punishment for the boastfulness of his modesty. Write soon again. I am

glad ARTHUR is so good to his sister's husband. A good brother-in-law

always makes an excellent _fiancé_.

With congratulations and every good wish,

Your affectionate friend,

MARJORIE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: Q. E. D.

"HOW _VAIN_ YOU ARE, EFFIE! LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE GLASS!"

"_VAIN_, AUNT EMMA? ME _VAIN_! WHY I DON'T THINK MYSELF _HALF_ AS

GOOD-LOOKING AS I REALLY _AM_!"]

* * * * *

Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, September 28, 1895 · 第 17 / 32 题