THE REVOLUTION
The coyotes who from their seven hills along the Verde were accustomed
to make Rome howl found themselves outclassed and left to a thinking
part on the night that Pecos Dalhart and Angevine Thorne celebrated
the dawn of Reason. The French Revolution being on a larger scale,
and, above all, successful, has come down in history as a great social
movement; all that can be said of the revolution at Verde Crossing
is packed away in those sad words: it failed. It started, like most
revolutions, with a careless word, hot from the vitriolic pen of some
space-writer gone mad, and ended in that amiable disorder which, for
lack of a better word, we call anarchy. Whiskey was at the bottom of
it, of course, and it meant no more than a tale told by an idiot,
"full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." At the same time, it
managed by degrees to engross the entire attention of Verde Crossing
and after the fall of the Bastile, as symbolized by the cracking of a
bottle, it left Pecos and Babe more convinced than ever that the world
was arrayed against them.
In the early part of the evening, according to orders, José Garcia
watched them furtively through the open door, returning at intervals,
however, to peer through the window of his own home. At each visit
it seemed to him that Angy was getting drunker and the Boss more
shameless in his attentions to Marcelina. At last, when he could stand
the strain no longer, he threw in with the merry roisterers, leaving
it to the Señora to protect the dignity of their home. A drink or
two mellowed him to their propaganda—at the mention of Crit he burst
into a torrent of curses and as the night wore on he declared for the
revolution, looking for his immediate revenge in drinking up all the
Boss's whiskey. In the end their revelry rose to such a height that
Crittenden was drawn away from his rough wooing and finally, under the
pretence of delivering the United States mail, he walked boldly in upon
them, determined to protect his property at any risk. The penalty for
interfering with the United States mail, as everybody who has ever read
the card on a drop-box knows, is a fine of $1,000, or imprisonment, or
both. In defence of that precious packet Crittenden could have killed
all three of them and stood justified before the law, but although he
had a reputation as a bad man to crowd into a corner, Old Crit was not
of a sanguinary disposition. No man could hold down a bunch of gun-men
of the kind that he employed in his predatory round-ups and not have a
little iron in his blood, but the Boss of Verde Crossing had seen all
too well in his variegated career the evils which cluster like flies
about an act of violence, and he was always for peace—peace and his
price.
"Here; here, here," he expostulated, as he found Angy in the act of
drinking half a pint of whiskey by measure, "you boys are hittin' it
pretty high, ain't ye?"
"The roof's the limit," replied Babe, facetiously. "As the Champeen
Booze-fighter of Arizona I am engaged in demonstratin' to all beholders
my claim to that illustrious title. Half a pint of whiskey—enough to
kill an Injun or pickle a Gila-monster—and all tossed off at a single
bout, like the nectar of the gods. Here's to the revolution, and to
hell with the oppressors of the poor!"
"That's right," chimed in Pecos, elevating his glass and peering
savagely over its rim at the Boss, "we done declared a feud against
the capitulistic classes and the monneypullistic tendencies of the
times. Your game's played out, Old Man; the common people have riz in
their might and took the town! Now you go away back in the corner,
d'ye understand, and sit down—and don't let me hear a word out of you
or I'll beat the fear o' God into you with _this_!" He hauled out his
heavy six-shooter and made the sinister motions of striking a man over
the head with it, but Crit chose to ignore the threat.
"All right," he said, feigning an indulgent smile, "you boys seem to
be enjoyin' yourselves, so I'll jest deliver this United States mail
as the law requires and leave you to yourselves." He stepped in behind
the bar, chucked a couple of demijohns of whiskey into the corner where
they might be overlooked, and threw the mail pouch on the counter.
"Better come up and git your mail, boys," he observed, dumping
the contents out for a lure. "Hey, here's a package for you, Mr.
Dalhart—something pretty choice, I 'spect. Nothin' for you, Joe," he
scowled, as his faithless retainer lurched up to claim his share.
"Here's your paper, Babe. Letter for you, Mr. Dalhart," he continued,
flipping a large, official envelope across the bar, "you're developin'
quite a correspondence!" He ducked down behind the counter, grinning at
his stratagem, and while Pecos and Babe were examining their mail he
managed to jerk the money drawer open and slip the loose change into
his pockets.
"Well, we'll be goin' home now, Joe," he said, taking the corral
boss briskly by the arm. "Come on, _hombre_, you ain't got no mail!"
Under ordinary circumstances José would have followed peaceably, thus
reducing the revolutionary forces to a minimum, but the covert insult
to his daughter, magnified by drink, had fired his Latin blood.
"No, Señor," he replied, fixing his glittering eyes upon the hateful
boss. "_Yo no go! Carramba, que malo hombre!_ You dam' coward,
Creet—you scare my wife—you scare—"
"Shut up!" hissed Crit, hastily cuffing him over the head. "Shut your
mouth or I'll—"
"_Diablo!_" shrieked the Mexican, striking back blindly. "I keel you!
You have to leave _mi niña_ alone!"
"What's that?" yelled Angevine Thorne, leaping with drunken impetuosity
into the fray, "hev you been—"
"Leave him to me!" shouted Pecos, wading recklessly into
the scrimmage. "I'll fix the blankety-blank, whatever
he's gone and done! Throw him loose, boys; I'll take the
_one-eyed_—_hump-backed_—_dog-robbin'_—_dastard_"—he accompanied each
epithet with a blow—"and tie 'im into a bow knot!" He grabbed Old Crit
out of the _mêlée_ and held him against the wall with a hand of iron.
"What do you mean by slappin' my friend and cumrad?" he thundered,
making as if to annihilate him with a blow. "I want you to understand,
Old Cock Eye, that Mr. Garcia is my friend—he comes from a fine old
Spanish family, away down in Sonory, and his rights must be respected!
Ain't that so, Angy?"
"From the pure, Castilian blood," declaimed Angy, waving his hand
largely, "a gentleman to whom I take off my hat—his estimable wife and
family—"
"Now here, boys," broke in Crittenden, taking his cue instantly, "this
joke has gone far enough. Mr. Garcia's wife asked me to bring him
home—you see what his condition is—and I was tryin' to do my best.
Now jest take your hand off of me, Mr. Dalhart—yes, thanks—and Angy,
you see if you can't git 'im to go home. A man of family, you know," he
went on, craftily enlisting their sympathies, "ought to—"
"Sure thing!" responded Angevine Thorne, lovingly twining his arm
around his Spanish-American comrade. "Grab a root there, Pecos, and
we'll take 'im home in style!"
"Wait till I git my package!" cried Pecos, suddenly breaking his hold,
and he turned around just in time to see Crit skipping out the back
door.
"Well, run then, you dastard!" he apostrophized, waving one hand as he
tenderly gathered up his mail-order dry goods. "I can't stop to take
after ye now. This here package is f'r my little Señorita, Marcelina,
and I'm goin' to present it like a gentleman and ast her for a kiss.
Hey, Angy," he called, as he re-engaged himself with José, "how do you
say 'kiss' in Spanish? Aw, shut up, I don't believe ye! Stan' up here,
Joe—well, it don't sound good, that's all—I'm goin' to ast her in U.
S., and take a chance!"
The procession lurched drunkenly up the road and like most such was not
received with the cordiality which had been anticipated. The Señora
Garcia was already furious at Old Crit and when Pecos Dalhart, after
delivering her recreant husband, undertook to present the dainty aprons
and the blue handkerchiefs, marked M, which he had ordered specially
for her daughter, she burst into a torrent of Spanish and hurled them
at his head. "_Muy malo_," "_borracho_," and "_vaya se_," were a few of
the evil words which followed them and by the gestures alone Pecos knew
that he had been called a bad man and a drunkard and told in two words
to go. He went, and with him Angy, ever ready to initiate new orgies
and help drown his sorrows in the flowing cup. The noise of their
bacchanalia rose higher and higher; pistol-shots rang out as Pecos shot
off the necks of bottles which personified for the moment his hated
rival; and to Crit, lingering outside the back door, it seemed as if
their howling and ranting would never cease. It was no new experience
for him to break in on one of Angy's jags, but things were coming too
high and fast with Pecos Dalhart present, and he decided to wait for
his revenge until they were both thoroughly paralyzed.
"But what is this 'cumrad' talk and them yells for the revolution?" he
soliloquized, as Angy and Pecos returned to their religion. "Is it a
G. A. R. reunion or has Joe worked in a Mexican revolution on us? Yes,
holler, you crazy fools; it'll be Old Crit's turn, when you come to pay
the bills."
The first gray light of dawn was striking through the door when
Crittenden tip-toed cautiously into the store and gazed about at the
wreckage and the sprawling hulks of the revellers. Pecos lay on his
face with his huge silver mounted spurs tangled in the potato sack that
had thrown him; and Babe, his round moon-face and bald crown still
red from his unrestrained potations, was draped along the bar like a
shop kitten. Old Crit shook him roughly and, receiving no response,
turned his attention to Pecos Dalhart. His first care was to snap the
cartridges out of his six-shooter and jamb the action with a generous
handful of dirt; then he felt his pockets over carefully, looking for
his roll, for Pecos had undoubtedly consumed a great deal of liquor and
ought not to be deprived of the cowboy's privilege of waking up broke.
But as luck would have it he was lying upon his treasure and could
not pay his reckoning. The only article of interest which the search
produced was a grimy section of a newspaper, stored away in his vest
pocket, and Crit seized upon it eagerly. It was a not uncommon failing
of Texas bad men, as he knew them, to carry newspaper accounts of their
past misdeeds upon their persons and he unfolded the sheet with the
full expectation of finding a sheriff's offer of reward.
"_It's a crime to be Poor!!!_" was the heading, "And the penalty is
hard labor for life!" it added, briefly. There is something in that,
too; but philosophy did not appeal to Crittenden at the moment—he was
looking for Pecos Dalhart's name and the record of his crime. "The
grinding tyranny of the capitalistic classes—" he read, and then his
eye ran down the page until he encountered the words: "Yours for the
Revolution!" and "Subscribe for the _Voice of Reason_!" Then a great
light came over him and he gnashed his teeth in a fury.
"Well, the dam', yaller, two-bit-a-year sheet!" he raved, snatching
a fresh copy of the _Voice of Reason_ from the sacred United States
mail and hastily scanning its headlines, "and if these crazy fools
hain't gone and took it serious!" He tore it in two and jumped on it.
"Two-bits a year!" he raged, "and for four-bits I could've got the
_Fireside Companion_!" He rummaged around in the box and gathered up
every copy, determined to hurl them into the fireplace, but on the way
the yellow wrapper with the United States stamp arrested his eye,
and he paused. After all, they were United States mail—penalty for
destroying $1,000—and would have to go back into the box.
"Well," he grumbled, dumping them sullenly back, "mebby it was that
new bar'l of whiskey—I s'pose they've got to holler about something
when they're drunk, the dam' eejits!" He strode up and down the floor,
scowling at the unconscious forms of the roisterers who had beaten him
the night before—then he turned back and laid violent hands upon Angy.
"Git off'n there, you low-down, lazy hound!" he yelled, dragging him
roughly to the floor. "You _will_ start a revolution and try to kill
your boss, will you? _You're fired!_" he shouted when, after a liberal
drenching, he had brought Babe back to the world.
"Well, gimme my pay, then," returned Angy, holding out his hand and
blinking.
"You don't git no pay!" declared Crit, with decision. "Who's goin' to
pay for all that liquor that was drunk last night? Look at them empty
bottles, will you? You go and bring in all your friends and open up
the town and the next mornin' I look in the till and they ain't a dam'
cent!"
"Well, I want my pay," reiterated Babe, drunkenly. "I been workin' a
long time, now—I'm goin' to draw my money an' go home! '_My mother's
heart is breakin', breakin' f'r me, an' that's all_—'" he crooned, and,
rocking to and fro on the floor, he sang himself back to sleep.
Old Crit watched him a moment, sneering; then with vindictive
exultation he turned his attention to Pecos. "Git up," he snarled,
kicking the upturned soles of his feet, "this ain't no bunk-house!
Git out'r here, now; you been pesterin' around these parts too long!"
He seized the prostrate cowboy by his broad shoulders and snaked him
summarily out the door, where he lay sprawling in the dirt, like
a turtle on its back, a mock of his strong, young manhood. To the
case-hardened Babe the venom of Old Crit's whiskey was no worse than
a death-potion of morphine to an opium fiend, but Pecos was completely
paralyzed by the poison. He responded neither to kicks and man-handling
nor to frequent dashes of water and at last Crittenden dragged him
out behind the corral and left him there, a sight for gods and men.
The Garcia dogs crept up furtively and sniffed at him and the Señora
pointed him out to her children as an awful example of _Texano_
depravity, and also as the bad man who had corrupted their _papa_. Even
Marcelina wavered in her secret devotion, but after he had finally
clambered up on his horse and ridden blindly off toward Lost Dog Cañon
the thought of those blue silk handkerchiefs, branded M, rose up in her
mind and comforted her.