A CHILD’S GARDEN OF ETIQUETTE

Children can also acquire knowledge more easily if it is imparted

to them in the form of verse or easy rhymes, and many valuable

facts about the dinner table can be embodied in children’s

verses. A few of these which I can remember from my own happy

childhood are as follows:

Oh, wouldn’t it be jolly

To be a nice _hors d’œuvre_

And just bring joy to people

Whom fondest you were of.

Soup is eaten with a spoon

But not to any haunting tune.

Oysters live down in the sea

In zones both temp. and torrid,

And when they are good they are very good indeed,

And when they are bad they are horrid.

My papa makes a lovely Bronx

With gin so rare and old,

And two of them will set you right

But four will knock you cold.

The boys with Polly will not frolic

Because she’s eaten too much garlic.

Mama said the other day,

“A little goes a long, long way.”

A wind came up out of the sea

And said, “Those dams are not for me.”

Uncle Frank choked on a bone

From eating shad _au gratin_

Aunt Ethel said it served him right

And went back to her flat in

NEWARK (spoken)

Poor Uncle Frank! (chanted)

I love my little finger bowl

So full of late filet of sole.

Cousin George at lunch one day

Remarked, “That apple looks quite tasty.

Now George a dentist’s bill must pay

Because he was so very hasty.

The proverb’s teachings we must hold

“All that glitters is not gold.”

And mama said to George, “Oh, shoot,

You’ve gone and ruined my glass fruit.”

Jim broke bread into his soup,

Jim knocked Mrs. Vanderbilt for a loop.

Kate drank from her finger bowl,

Kate knocked Mrs. Vanderbilt for a goal.

Children who perform such tricks

Are socially in Class G-6.

Perfect Behavior: A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in All Social Crises · 第 90 / 115 题