_House of Commons, Monday, April 20_.--The other week T.C. BARING
was sitting among us, one of the Members for the City of London.
Now BARING is no more, and to-night HUCKS GIBBS comes in to take his
place. VICARY G. brought his father down; watched him take oath and
has undertaken generally to see him through. In fact, when GIBBS
_père_ hesitated about taking the proffered seat for the City, VICARY
undertook to fill it; finally, GIBBS _père_ being warmly pressed,
consented to sit, and VICARY stood aside. But he will come in
by-and-by, when he has given his father a turn.
[Illustration: Late Member for the City.]
"Age before honesty, is my motto," said VICARY, when I complimented
him upon the fine feeling he has shown throughout these negotiations.
"I always think that we young fellows lose nothing by giving our
elders a start. My father, you know, sometime ago wanted to change the
name of our firm. Suggested it should be called SONS & ANTONY GIBBS.
There's something in it; but on the whole, better leave things as they
are. ANTONY GIBBS & SONS known all over the world; always embarrassing
to change style of an old firm; so, for the present, at least, we
leave things alone. Come along, _Pater_; think I'll take you home now.
Never rush wildly into new engagements; you've had the excitement of
being sworn in, and signing the roll of Parliament. You hadn't been
in the place ten minutes before TIM HEALY gave you a chance of voting
on a London City Bill, and that's enough for one night. By-and-by you
shall stay all night and enjoy yourself in Committee on Irish Land
Bill."
So ANTONY GIBBS AND SON went off before dinner. Didn't miss much;
grinding away at Irish Land Bill; most soul-depressing experience of
modern life; no heart in it; no reality; SAGE of Queen Anne's Gate
brings up amendment after amendment, and makes successive speeches;
SEYMOUR KEAY does ditto; SHAW-LEFEVRE adds new terror to situation
by taking voluminous notes which promise illimitable succession of
orations; House empty; PRINCE ARTHUR has the full length of Treasury
Bench on which to lounge. Occasionally Division-bell rings; Members
troop in by the hundred; follow their leaders into Lobby right or
left, deciding question they haven't heard debated, and mere drift
of which two-thirds don't understand.
BRER FOX absent to-night, which precludes possibility of flare-up
in Irish Camp. TIM faithful to his post, but lacks inspiration of
contiguity to BRER FOX.
"PARNELL's played out," said TIM, referring in course of evening to
BRER FOX's reception in his latest run through Ireland. "He may ramp
and roar here, but his game's up in Ireland."
"And is he resigned to the situation?" I asked.
TIM looked at me, half winking his miraculously preserved right eye.
"Did you ever hear, TOBY, what the weeping widow said to the parson,
who asked, 'Was your husband resigned to die?' 'He had ter be,' she
said, choking a sob."
_Business done._--Very little in the Irish Land Bill.
_Tuesday._--Mr. G.'s presence at Morning Sitting gave only possible
fillip to interminable Debate on Land Purchase Bill. BRER FOX still
away, so comparative peace reigns in Irish Camp. TIM HEALY no one to
butt his head against; COLONEL NOLAN too busy deploying his army of
five men; showing them how to retreat in good order when Division-bell
rings, and how, when it is decided to vote, they shall pass out
through one door, march in at the other, cross the floor, and look
as much as possible as if they were ten instead of five. T.W.
RUSSELL--"Roaring" RUSSELL, as his old colleague in Temperance fights,
WILFRID LAWSON, calls him--frequently on his legs. At sound of
his voice, Mr. G. gets his back up; interposes interjections and
corrections; and presently, when he can stand it no longer, plunges
into a speech.
Another time SAUNDERSON draws him. "I am very sorry," said Mr. G.,
who has been itching to speak for last half-hour, "that the hon. and
gallant Gentleman has dragged me into debate by gross misstatements."
Being there, however, Mr. G. enjoys himself passably well, grinding
SAUNDERSON to powder, and hewing RUSSELL to pieces before the Lord
STRATHEDEN AND CAMPBELL, who are sleeping peacefully together in
the Gallery. "Like the Babes in the Wood," said PLUNKET, looking up
smilingly at the face in the Gallery, which looks twice as wise when
asleep as the ordinary man does in full possession of his senses.
[Illustration: "Roaring" Russell.]
"I know," Mr. G. continued, in measured accents of polite scorn, "that
the eloquence of the hon. and gallant Gentleman (meaning SAUNDERSON)
is as ungovernable as I am afraid it is sometimes unprofitable. In the
exercise of the understanding which the Almighty has given him, he has
represented me as being a supporter of this Bill."
Words cannot convey adequate impression of the subtlety of emotion
conveyed by this unwonted, perhaps unprecedented, invocation. An
unmistakeable, though unspoken, indication of mingled feeling--pity
for one so meagrely endowed, and marvel that, out of boundless stores,
the Deity could, even in this instance, have been so chary of gifts.
_Business done._--Still less in Committee on Irish Land Bill.
_Thursday._--Rival shows in both Houses to-night. Lords running the
Newfoundland Delegates at the Bar; in the Commons Budget on. On the
whole, Commons drew the fullest House, to which JOKIM descanted for
nearly three hours. If he'd taken two, the speech would have been a
third less long, and three times as successful. Still the Budget comes
but once a year, and CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER feels bound to make
the most of opportunity. Pretty plain sailing for first two hours.
Then JOKIM ran aground. It was General STAMPS that did it all.
Appeared unexpectedly in long list of details setting forth Estimates
for Revenue in coming year. Nobody ever heard before of the General;
thought, at least, he must belong to the Army Estimates. But JOKIM
would have him in, spurs and epaulettes, and all.
"General STAMPS," he said, regardless of grammar, "have fallen off."
JOKIM, in his loose way, omitted to say off what; presumed to be
his horse. House not sorry to hear it; had enough of the mysterious
warrior. But he was up again a few minutes' later. "General STAMPS,"
JOKIM continued, in his airy fashion, "apart from the Death Duties, I
reduce from £6,700,000 to £5,900,000."
"Better reduce him to the ranks at once," said Admiral FIELD, who is a
terrible martinet.
But JOKIM took no notice of the suggestion; floundered along, bungling
terribly. Committee tried to help him out; that didn't help matters
much. To have a Member in one part of the House filling up an awkward
pause by suggesting "dried fruit," another "coffee," a third "rum,"
and a fourth "probate duty," when after all, JOKIM was thinking of
the Income Tax or General STAMPS, evidently not designed to advance
matters.
"The Committee knows what I mean," JOKIM said, piteously, looking
round out of a morass a little deeper than he'd been in lately. But
that is exactly what the Committee didn't do.
"Then," said JOKIM, "you'll understand the figures when you read them
in the papers to-morrow." Something in that; House mollified; still
can't help thinking that if it is to wait till next morning to read
report of Chancellor's Budget Speech in order to understand his
statements, some preliminary time might be saved in the evening.
_Business done._--Budget brought in.
_Friday Night._--Missed OLD MORALITY from Treasury Bench; looked in
his room; found him in arm-chair, collapsed, by fire-place, with copy
of _Morning Advertiser_ in his hand.
"What's the matter?" I asked. "Surely you've not been reading JOKIM's
Budget Speech right through!" He certainly looked as if he had.
"No, TOBY," he said; "it's not that; it's the Leader. Haven't you seen
what the _Morning Advertiser_ says about me? 'For the first time in
our recollection he (that's me) bears on his political escutcheon a
deep smudge of dishonour': and that's all because JOKIM wouldn't take
a penny off a barrel of beer, and twopence off a gallon of spirits.
It's the injustice I feel most acutely. It doesn't seem fair that Mr.
BUNG should try to intimidate JOKIM by abusing me."
"It _is_ hard," I said; "but it's no use sitting moping here. Come
along into House; they're in Committee on the Land Bill; an hour or
two of that'll freshen you up." And it did.
_Business done._--In Committee on the Irish Land Bill.
* * * * *
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