SCENE--_The cheerful dark Drawing-room. It is afternoon.
HEDDA stands loading a revolver in the back Drawing-room._
_Hedda_ (_looking out, and shouting_). How do you do, Judge? (_Aims at
him._) Mind yourself! [_She fires._
_Brack_ (_entering_). What the devil! Do you usually take pot-shots at
casual visitors? [_Annoyed._
_Hedda_. Invariably, when they come by the back-garden. It is my
unconventional way of intimating that I am at home. One does do these
things in realistic dramas, you know. And I was only aiming at the
blue sky.
_Brack_. Which accounts for the condition of my hat. (_Exhibiting
it._) Look here--_riddled_!
_Hedda_. Couldn't help myself. I am so horribly bored with TESMAN.
Everlastingly to be with a professional person!
_Brack_ (_sympathetically_). Our excellent TESMAN is certainly a bit
of a bore. (_Looks searchingly at her_.) What on earth made you marry
him?
_Hedda_. Tired of dancing, my dear, that's all. And then I used TESMAN
to take me home from parties; and we saw this villa; and I said I
liked it, and so did he; and so we found some common ground, and here
we are, do you see! And I loathe TESMAN, and I don't even like the
villa now; and I do feel the want of an entertaining companion so!
[Illustration: "I am a Norwegian literary man, and peculiar."]
_Brack_. Try me. Just the kind of three-cornered arrangement that
I like. Let me be the third person in the
compartment--(_confidentially_)--the tried friend, and, generally
speaking, cock of the walk!
_Hedda_ (_audibly drawing in her breath_). I cannot resist your
polished way of putting things. We will conclude a triple alliance.
But hush!--here comes TESMAN.
[_Enter GEORGE, with a number of books under his arm._
_George_. Puff! I _am_ hot, HEDDA. I've been looking into LÖVBORG's
new book. Wonderfully thoughtful--confound him! But I must go and
dress for your party, Judge. [_He goes out._
_Hedda_. I wish I could get TESMAN to take to politics, Judge.
Couldn't he be a Cabinet Minister, or something?
_Brack_. H'm!
[_A short pause; both look at one another, without speaking.
Enter GEORGE, in evening dress, with gloves._
_George_. It is afternoon, and your party is at half-past seven--but I
like to dress early. Fancy that! And I am expecting LÖVBORG.
[_EJLERT LÖVBORG comes in from the hall; he is worn and pale,
with red patches on his cheek-bones, and wears an elegant
perfectly new visiting-suit, and black gloves._
_George_. Welcome! (_Introduces him to BRACK._) Listen--I have got
your new book, but I haven't read it through yet.
_Lövborg_. You needn't--it's rubbish. (_Takes a packet of MSS. out._)
This _isn't_. It's in three parts; the first about the civilising
forces of the future, the second about the future of the civilising
forces, and the third about the forces of the future civilisation. I
thought I'd read you a little of it this evening?
_Brack and George_ (_hastily_). Awfully nice of you--but there's a
little party this evening--so sorry we can't stop! Won't you come too?
_Hedda_. No, he must stop and read it to me and Mrs. ELVSTED instead.
_George_. It would never have occurred to me to think of such clever
things! Are you going to oppose me for the Professorship, eh?
_Lövborg_ (_modestly_). No; I shall only triumph over you in the
popular judgment--that's all!
_George_. Oh, is that all? Fancy! Let us go into the back drawing-room
and drink cold punch.
_Lövborg_. Thanks--but I am a reformed character, and have renounced
cold punch--it is poison.
[_GEORGE and BRACK go into the back-room and drink punch,
whilst HEDDA shows LÖVBORG a photograph album in the front._
_Lövborg_ (_slowly, in a low tone_). HEDDA GABLER! how _could_ you
throw yourself away like this!--Oh, is _that_ the ORTLER Group?
Beautiful!--Have you forgotten how we used to sit on the settee
together behind an illustrated paper, and--yes, very picturesque
peaks--I told you all about how I had been on the loose?
_Hedda_. Now, none of that, here! These are the Dolomites.--Yes, I
remember; it was a beautiful fascinating Norwegian intimacy--but
it's over now. See, we spent a night in that little mountain village,
TESMAN and I!
_Lövborg_. Did you, indeed? Do you remember that delicious moment when
you threatened to shoot me down--(_tenderly_)--I do!
_Hedda_ (_carelessly_). Did I? I have done that to so many people. But
now all that is past, and you have found the loveliest consolation
in dear, good, little Mrs. ELVSTED--ah, here she is! (_Enter_ Mrs.
ELVSTED.) Now, THEA, sit down and drink up a good glass of cold punch.
Mr. LÖVBORG is going to have some. If you don't, Mr. LÖVBORG, GEORGE
and the Judge will think you are afraid of taking too much if you once
begin.
_Mrs. E._ Oh, please, HEDDA! When I've inspired Mr. LÖVBORG so--good
gracious! _don't_ make him drink cold punch!
_Hedda_. You see, Mr. LÖVBORG, our dear little friend can't _trust_
you!
_Lövborg_. So _that_ is my comrade's faith in me! (_Gloomily._) _I_'ll
show her if I am to be trusted or not. (_He drinks a glass of punch_.)
Now I'll go to the Judge's party. I'll have another glass first.
Your health, THEA! So you came up to spy on me, eh? I'll drink the
Sheriff's health--_everybody's_ health!
[_He tries to get more punch._
_Hedda_ (_stopping him_). No more now. You are going to a party,
remember. [GEORGE _and_ TESMAN _come in from back-room._
_Lövborg._ Don't be angry, THEA. I was fallen for a moment. Now I'm up
again! (Mrs. E. _beams with delight_). Judge, I'll come to your party,
as you _are_ so pressing, and I'll read GEORGE my manuscript all the
evening. I'll do all in _my_ power to make that party go!
_George_. No? fancy! that _will_ be amusing!
_Hedda_. There, go away, you wild rollicking creatures! But Mr.
LÖVBORG must be back at ten, to take dear THEA home!
_Mrs. E._ Oh, goodness, yes! (_In concealed agony._) Mr. LÖVBORG, I
shan't go away till you do!
[_The three men go out laughing merrily; the Act-drop is
lowered for a minute; when it is raised, it is 7 A.M., and
Mrs. ELVSTED and HEDDA are discovered sitting up, with rugs
around them._
_Mrs. E._ (_wearily_). Seven in the morning, and Mr. LÖVBORG not here
to take me home _yet_! what _can_ he be doing?
_Hedda_ (_yawning_). Reading to TESMAN, with vine-leaves in his hair,
I suppose. Perhaps he has got to the third part.
_Mrs. E._ Oh, do you _really_ think so, HEDDA? Oh, if I could but hope
he was doing that!
_Hedda_. You silly little ninny! I should like to scorch your hair
off. Go to bed! [Mrs. E. _goes. Enter_ GEORGE.
_George_. I'm a little late, eh? But we made _such_ a night of it.
Fancy! It was most amusing. EJLERT read his book to me--think of that!
Astonishing book! Oh, we really had great fun! I wish _I'd_ written
it. Pity he's so irreclaimable.
_Hedda_. I suppose you mean he has more of the courage of life than
most people?
_George_. Good Lord! He had the courage to get more drunk than
most people. But, altogether, it was what you might almost call a
Bacchanalian orgy. We finished up by going to have early coffee with
some of these jolly chaps, and poor old LÖVBORG dropped his precious
manuscript in the mud, and I picked it up--and here it is! Fancy
if anything were to happen to it! He never could write it again.
_Wouldn't_ it be sad, eh? Don't tell anyone about it.
[_He leaves the packet of MSS. on a chair, and rushes out;
HEDDA hides the packet as BRACK enters._
_Brack_. _Another_ early call, you see! My party was such a singularly
animated _soirée_ that I haven't undressed all night. Oh, it was
the liveliest affair conceivable! And, like a true Norwegian host,
I tracked LÖVBORG home; and it is only my duty, as a friend of the
house, and cock of the walk, to take the first opportunity of telling
you that he finished up the evening by coming to mere loggerheads with
a red-haired opera-singer, and being taken off to the police-station!
You mustn't have him here any more. Remember our little triple
alliance!
_Hedda_ (_her smile fading away_). You are certainly a dangerous
person--but you must not get a hold over me!
_Brack_ (_ambiguously_). What an idea! But I might--I am an
insinuating dog. Good morning! [_Goes out._
_Lövborg_ (_bursting in, confused and excited_). I suppose you've
heard where _I've_ been?
_Hedda_ (_evasively_). I heard you had a very jolly party at Judge
BRACK's. [Mrs. ELVSTED _comes in._
_Lövborg_. It's all over. I don't mean to do any more work. I've no
use for a companion now, THEA. Go home to your Sheriff!
_Mrs. E._ (_agitated_). Never! I want to be with you when your book
comes out!
_Lövborg_. It won't _come_ out--I've torn it up! (_Mrs. E. rushes out,
wringing her hands_.) Mrs. TESMAN, I told her a lie--but no matter.
I haven't torn my book up--I've done worse! I've taken it about to
several parties, and it's been through a police-row with me--now I've
lost it. Even if I found it again, it wouldn't be the same--not to me!
I am a Norwegian literary man, and peculiar. So I must make an end of
it altogether!
_Hedda_. Quite so--but look here, you must do it beautifully. I
don't insist on your putting vine-leaves in your hair--but do it
beautifully. (_Fetches pistol._) See, here is one of General GABLER's
pistols--do it with _that_!
_Lövborg._ Thanks!
[_He takes the pistol, and goes out through the hall-door;
as soon as he has gone, HEDDA brings out the manuscript, and
puts it on the fire, whispering to herself, as Curtain falls._
* * * * *