(_EXTRACT FROM THE DIARY OF_ PRIVATE ATKINS, _PRINCE'S COMPANY, 4TH
BATTALION, H.M.'S GUZZLEBEER GUARDS._)
_Monday_.--Joined the Regiment. Appeared on Parade, and was requested
to come to "attention," although the Sergeant _must_ have seen that I
was "standing at ease." Expressed a desire that the Commanding-officer
should rectify the mistake, when all ended amicably. Sergeant
apologised, and promised that it should not occur again. Satisfied.
Both Sergeant and Commanding-officer well up in their duties!
[Illustration]
_Tuesday_.--Bugle sounded too early for Assembly. Sent a message to
the Adjutant by his orderly (with my compliments) saying that I would
feel much obliged if the Parade were postponed an hour. Adjutant
returned _his_ compliments, with a request that I would give in
writing my reason for desiring a delay. Explained (by word of mouth)
that I wanted to read the newspapers. Parade consequently postponed as
requested. Obliging chap the Adjutant!
_Wednesday_.--Warned for Guard. Sent for the Major of my
half-battalion (don't like bothering the Commanding-officer about
every trifle), and explained that, although the Surgeon had seen me,
and reported me fit, I had a presentiment that the easterly winds
would play the very mischief with me if I went "Sentry Go." Major
thought, perhaps it would be better if I were struck off duty. Excused
Guard in consequence. Good sort Major of my half-battalion!
_Thursday_.--Sorry to find rations very unsatisfactory. Complained
to the Officer of the day, who reported the matter to the Captain.
Captain said he would have asked the entire company to dine with him
at his Club had he not been engaged. He then passed us on to his
Subs. The latter most obligingly gave us some food at a Restaurant.
_Châteaubriand_ excellent, _Sole à la Normande_ decent, but _Potage à
la bisque_ too rich. Mistake to order the latter, as one can never get
it _really_ good, except on the Continent. Wine tol-lol. Pol Royer of
'84. However, spent a very pleasant evening. Both Subs, when you know
them, not half bad fellows!
_Friday_.--Rather a head, and felt generally out of sorts. Warned for
Kit-inspection. Couldn't stand this, so called upon General Commanding
District. Not at home, but was asked would I see his _locum tenens_?
Replied in the negative, as I don't believe in go-betweens. Didn't
return to barracks, as I thought I might get a breath of sea-air at
Southend.
_Saturday_.--Arrested and conveyed to the Guard-room. Suppose I
shall be released with a caution. At any rate, for the present, diary
confiscated.
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[Illustration: THE GARDEN OF SLEEP;