_Monday, June 19._
How great must have been your impatience, dearest sir but my interview
has only this morning taken place. Everything is settled, and to-morrow
morning I go to the queen's Lodge, to see the apartments, and to receive
my instructions.
I must confess myself extremely frightened and full of alarms at a
change of situation so great, so unexpected, so unthought-of. Whether I
shall suit it or not, heaven only knows, but I have a thousand doubts.
Yet nothing could be sweeter than the queen,--more encouraging, more
gentle, or more delicate. She did not ask me one question concerning
my qualifications for the charge; she only said, with the most
condescending softness, “I am sure, Miss Burney, we shall suit one
another very well.” And, another time, “I am sure we shall do very well
together.”
And what is it, dear Sir, you suppose to be my business? Not to attend
any of the princesses--but the queen herself! This, indeed, was a
delightful hearing, reverencing and admiring her as I have so
sincerely done ever since I first saw her. And in this, my amazement is
proportioned to my satisfaction; for the place designed me is that of
Mrs. Haggerdorn, who came with her from Germany, and it will put me more
immediately and more constantly in her presence than any other place,
but that of Mrs. Schwellenberg, in the Court.
The prepossession the queen has taken in my favour is truly
extraordinary, for it seems as if her real view was, as Mr. Smelt
hinted, to attach me to her person. She has been long, she told Mrs.
Delany, looking out for one to supply the place of Mrs. Haggerdorn,
whose ill health forces her back to Germany; “and I was led to think
of Miss Burney, first by her books; then by seeing her--then by always
hearing how she was loved by her friends; but chiefly by your friendship
for her.”