I had new specimens to-day of the oddities of Mr. Crutchley, whom I
do not yet quite understand, though I have seen so much of him. In
the course of our walks to-day we chanced, at one time, to be somewhat
before the rest of the company, and soon got into a very serious
conversation; though we began it by his relating a most ludicrous
incident which had happened to him last winter.
There is a certain poor wretch of a villainous painter, one Mr.
Lowe,[137] who is in some measure under Dr. Johnson's protection, and
whom, therefore, he recommends to all the people he thinks can afford to
sit for their pictures. Among these he made Mr. Seward very readily, and
then applied to Mr. Crutchley.
“But now,” said Mr. Crutchley, as he told me the circumstance, “I have
not a notion of sitting for my picture,--for who wants it? I may as well
give the man the money without; but no, they all said that would not do
so well, and Dr. Johnson asked me to give him my picture. 'And I assure
you, sir,' says he, 'I shall put it in very good company, for I have
portraits of some very respectable people in my dining-room.' 'Ay, sir,'
says I, 'that's sufficient reason why you should not have mine, for I am
sure it has no business in such society.' So then Mrs. Thrale asked me
to give it to her. 'Ay sure, ma'am,' says I, 'you do me great honour;
but pray, first, will you do me the favour to tell me what door you
intend to put it behind?' However, after all I could say in opposition,
I was obliged to go to the painter's. And I found him in such a
condition! a room all dirt and filth, brats squalling and wrangling,
up two pair of stairs, and a closet, of which the door was open, that
Seward well said was quite Pandora's box--it was the repository of all
the nastiness, and stench, and filth, and food, and drink, and---oh, it
was too bad to be borne! and 'Oh!' says I, 'Mr. Lowe, I beg your pardon
for running away, but I have just recollected another engagement;' so
I poked the three guineas in his hand, and told him I would come again
another time, and then ran out of the house with all my might.”