Dr. J.--Madam, he is a Scotchman: he is a man of great learning, and
for his learning I respect him, and I wish to serve him. He knows many
languages, and knows them well; but he knows nothing of life. I advised
him to write a geographical dictionary; but I have lost all hopes of his
doing anything properly, since I found he gave as much labour to Capua
as to Rome.
Mr. T.--And pray who is clerk of your kitchen, sir?
Dr. J.--Why, sir, I am afraid there is none; a general anarchy prevails
in my kitchen, as I am told by Mr. Levat,[64] who says it is not now
what it used to be!
Mrs. T.--Mr. Levat, I suppose, sir, has the office of keeping the
hospital in health? for he is an apothecary.
Dr. J.--Levat, madam, is a brutal fellow, but I have a good regard for
him; for his brutality is in his manners, not his mind.
Mr. T.--But how do you get your dinners drest?
Dr. J.--Why De Mullin has the chief management of the kitchen; but our
roasting is not magnificent, for we have no jack.
Mr. T.--No jack? Why, how do they manage without?
Dr. J.--Small joints, I believe, they manage with a string, larger are
done at the tavern. I have some thoughts (with profound gravity) of
buying a jack, because I think a jack is some credit to a house.
Mr. T.--Well, but you'll have a spit, too?
Dr. J.--No, sir, no; that would be superfluous; for we shall never use
it; and if a jack is seen, a spit will be presumed!
Mrs. T.--But pray, sir, who is the Poll you talk of? She that you used
to abet in her quarrels with Mrs. Williams, and call out, “At her again,
Poll! Never flinch, Poll.”[65]
Dr. J.--Why, I took to Poll very well at first, but she won't do upon a
nearer examination.
Mrs. T.--How came she among you, sir?
Dr. J.--Why I don't rightly remember, but we could spare her very well
from us. Poll is a stupid slut; I had some hopes of her at first; but
when I talked to her tightly and closely, I could make nothing of her;
she was wiggle waggle, and I could never persuade her to be categorical,
I wish Miss Burney would come among us; if she would only give _us_ a
week, we should furnish her with ample materials for a new scene in her
next work.