PARIS ON MOUNT IDA
Miss Perry insisted on conducting Jim and his mother to their lodgings,
which were at a small cottage in Pen-y-Gros hamlet. She was afraid they
might get lost in the wood. Jim’s mother took the trout within, while
Jim conducted Miss Perry back to the gate of Pen-y-Gros Castle. It
seemed that he was haunted with the fear that in the gloom she might
take the wrong turning.
The Wargrave coat-of-arms was engraved on a stone pillar at the castle
entrance. They leaned against it. The evening shadows were fast
blotting out Gwydr and his brethren.
“Goose Girl,” said Jim, mournfully, “we are in pretty deep water, you
and I, aren’t we?”
“It will be all right, Jim,” said Miss Perry, cheerfully. “You are sure
to get rich painting all these pictures. It is a splendid idea to paint
Muffin. Her picture will be worth a lot of money. And I am sure, when
you are rich, Aunt Caroline will let me marry you.”
Jim shook his head sorrowfully.
“Chaps don’t often get rich at my trade,” said he; “and when they do,
they don’t do it all at once. Now suppose, Goose Girl, I did not get
rich. Suppose I was only just able to rub along just as I do now, what
would you say then?”
“I should like it all the better,” said Miss Perry, with conviction,
“because then I shouldn’t have to have a maid. A maid loses her temper,
you know, if you put things in your hat, or you get much mud on your
frock, or you get up too early.”
“But don’t you see, you Goose,” said Jim, “that you have such grand
prospects, and that it would be such a great thing for the family if
you married a swell.”
“Would it, Jim?” said Miss Perry, reluctantly.
“Of course it would, you Goose.”
Miss Perry indulged in silence and reflection.
“Perhaps you are right, Jim,” said she. “And if I did you would be able
to marry Muffin, and that would be _ever_ so much nicer for you.”
Jim gave an exclamation of impatience.
“Who wants to marry Muffin, you great Goose?” said he.
“But, Jim,” said Miss Perry, gravely, “she is such a----”
“Never mind what she is,” said Jim. “I have my own opinion about her. I
want to marry you, and I mean to.”
In spite of the proximity of the Wargrave coat-of-arms, Jim Lascelles
thereupon behaved in a very imperious and heedless manner. He encircled
the ample form of Miss Perry, and kissed her with great boldness. As no
resistance was forthcoming, he repeated the operation.
“You great Goose,” said he.
Whether in the continued absence of resistance Jim Lascelles would have
persisted in this behavior, it is hardly right to conjecture; for at
this moment there came an interruption. A small, round quadruped came
waddling through the gate of Pen-y-Gros Castle. His tail was curled up
in a most cynical manner, and, with eyes swollen with baked meats, he
gazed about him with the insolence of a feudal lord.
“Aunt Caroline,” whispered Miss Perry. Doubtless there was guilt on her
conscience. She drew herself in very close to the pillar.
“She wouldn’t come out in the dusk,” said Jim. “It is only Ponto taking
the air to get an appetite for dinner.”
Jim picked up a pebble, and, taking exact and careful aim, dropped it
on the supercilious nose of that overfed quadruped.
“Now, Goose Girl,” said Jim, “it is time you went up to dress, or
you’ll get none of those trout.”
This timely reminder caused Miss Perry to flee. It was twenty minutes
past eight; Aunt Caroline brooked no delay, and Fanchette hated to
hurry.
Jim walked back sadly to his nocturnal chop. Why was he so poor? Why
had he not more firmness of character? He felt that the part he was
playing was an unworthy one. He had no right to be in Wales at all. He
was merely acting the part of the spoil-sport.
However, the person most concerned by no means intended to have his
sport spoiled by anybody. In any case, he felt quite competent to
conduct his suit to a successful issue. He had made the tedious journey
to Pen-y-Gros Castle expressly for the purpose.
It is true that the unexpected presence of George Betterton was a
little disquieting. Some six weeks had elapsed since their Sunday
morning conversation at Ward’s. The opinion he had then formed of the
temperature of George’s affections had had a marked influence on his
subsequent conduct. In the opinion of this cool and shrewd calculator,
George was a decoy put up by Caroline Crewkerne to lure him into the
mesh.
All the same, it was a dangerous view to take. And if George had had
the skill to mask his intentions, George would win the prize. Frankly,
he did not think George had the skill requisite to such tactics. He
was one of those plain fellows whom a child might read. Superficial
observers of the Kendal type were always apt to jump far too quickly
to conclusions. Quite a number of these had given the prize to George
already. But Cheriton counted upon a more intimate knowledge. George
was a plain, solid Conservative who, when it came to the point, would
think twice before making a duchess of a parson’s penniless daughter.
Nevertheless, when he took in the wonderful Miss Perry, who, in spite
of all that Fanchette could do, had kept dinner waiting ten minutes, he
was rather inclined to feel that he had incurred an unwarrantable risk
for the mere pleasure of indulging his natural vein of cynicism. George
was rather boastful about the trout, which were delicious. And at the
same time he waxed enthusiastic over Miss Perry’s conduct of the punt,
her manner of casting a fly; and he declared she could hook and play a
fish with anybody.
“That is most interesting, my dear George,” said Cheriton. “But all
this merely confirms the opinion I have long since formed of her sex.”
“I should like to see her with salmon,” said George. “I should like to
see her on Nalloch Water.”
“Muffin is _ever_ so much better than I am,” said Miss Perry.
“She must come too,” said George.
“Yes, I think it is all right,” murmured his watchful adversary, with a
little sigh. “I think the old duffer is to be trusted.”
Yet was he? Throughout the whole dinner the problem loomed before him.
Doubtless it was the conduct of Caroline Crewkerne, in combination
with the guilt upon his conscience that precipitated his uneasiness.
That old woman had assumed a demeanor of concentrated scornfulness
which even she had never surpassed. And to make things worse, she was
continually putting forth sinister hints and indulging in sardonic
little touches which unmistakably were aimed at his self-security.
There could be no doubt that Caroline Crewkerne was a bad one to cross.
And further, there could be no doubt that she bitterly resented what
she called “Cheriton’s tactics.” In the first place, he had committed
the unpardonable offense of seeing through and making light of her
devices. It required a very bold person indeed to do that.
After dinner Araminta and Elizabeth played billiards, while their
elders were set to cards. Caroline Crewkerne had developed a talent
for bridge, which, considering her advanced age, was surprising, Miss
Burden also was learning to play very well, although it is true that
she suffered from a cardinal weakness. Her reluctance to declare “no
trumps” was due to something in her character, and, in the opinion
of Cheriton, who was her partner as a rule, it was a great handicap
in life. When it was George’s turn to be “dummy,” he invariably fell
asleep, and before the game could proceed he had to be roused forcibly.
Caroline Crewkerne was one of those vigilant and seasoned warriors who
are not very particular what time they go to bed. Therefore Cheriton
counted upon being able to conduct a transaction that night which at
the first opportunity he was determined to bring to a point. In this
he was well within his reckoning, for Caroline Crewkerne and he easily
sat out the others. It was about a quarter to eleven when George drank
his final whisky and mineral water, and in a condition of impending
somnolence went to his repose.
“Now, Caroline,” said Cheriton, in an extremely businesslike manner,
“let us settle this thing one way or the other. We have been toying
with it long enough.”
“What thing do you refer to, Cheriton?” inquired that accomplished
dissembler, who merely asked the question as a matter of form.
“The future of our delectable Miss Goose. Now, Caroline, I want you to
be practical. Be practical, Caroline, and I foresee no difficulty.”
Caroline assumed her hanging-judge demeanor. She snuffed the air as a
statesmanlike preliminary. Cheriton, however, a seasoned warrior, was
not to be disconcerted by little things like these.
“Now, Caroline,” said he, coolly, “no one appreciates more fully than
I do the honorable character of your motives. Your first wish and your
last is to do your duty by your delectable niece.”
“Don’t use so many words, Cheriton,” said Caroline, sharply. “Remember
you are not wasting the time of the country, but of a private
individual. I don’t need any reminder from you to do my duty by the
girl.”
“Of course not, Caroline,” said the mellifluous Cheriton. “But I don’t
want you to get your idea of duty unduly inflated. I want you to be
reasonable. I am prepared to marry the gal--she is a sweet, good, and
healthy creature, and, on the mother’s side, she will pass muster--but
she is in no sense a _partie_; and perhaps I shall be forgiven if I
feel that Cheriton House has a right to expect one.”
“Let it,” said Caroline, grimly.
“Forgive my adopting the language of a tradesman,” said Cheriton,
harmoniously; “but I feel that you will experience less difficulty in
understanding it. As I say, I like the girl, and I am prepared to make
what in the circumstances is a good offer. You are at liberty to reject
it, of course; but frankly I don’t think you can expect a better.”
“Don’t be too sure about it, Cheriton,” said Caroline, with a hawklike
glint from under the bushy eyebrows.
“Oh, but I am,” said Cheriton, confidently. “George is a bad hat.”
“What do you mean?” said Caroline, sitting very upright.
“You can lead a horse to water,” said Cheriton, “but you can’t make him
drink.”
Caroline sat with her hands clenched in her lap, the picture of
suppressed fury.
“Would it surprise you to learn,” said she, “that George Betterton has
made her an offer of marriage?”
“Yes,” said Cheriton, “it would indeed. Either he was in his cups when
he made it, or he has since repented of his indiscretion. George is
going to marry Priscilla L’Estrange.”
“What is your authority for that statement?” demanded Caroline, warily,
for she had a very audacious gaze fixed upon her.
“The authority of my intuitive perception.”
“Intuitive fiddlestick!”
“I know George nearly as well as I know you,” said the audacious
suitor. “Had George intended to gobble at the cherry, he would have
done so six weeks ago, during your untimely attack of laryngitis. But
George is an old hand; and although it takes a seasoned campaigner
to marry Priscilla L’Estrange, it is better that he should do so, as
far as 216, Piccadilly, is concerned, than that he should marry the
penniless daughter of a country parson.”
With shame and trepidation and searching of heart be it written that
this couple of elderly worldlings sat into the small hours of the
morning discussing the pros and cons of the case in a most indelicate
manner, and with a disposition to haggle like a pair of Jews at an
auction. The bickering and the bartering of these two elderly persons
were enough to overthrow the most resolute idealist among us.
There can be no question that the greater share of the blame belonged
to Caroline Crewkerne. Cheriton, who knew her as well as he knew his
alphabet, was really far more liberal-minded than she was. He was
quite as shrewd also. For all the pretension of this old woman’s
trappings, and her lofty airs, and her contempt for all outside the
magic circle--and she reserved to herself the exclusive right to
perform the geometrical feat of drawing it--at heart she was ruthlessly
_bourgeoise_. Indeed, she was apt to plume herself upon that quality,
which, however, she preferred to call by another name. Therefore who
shall blame Cheriton for his pious determination to give her a Roland
for an Oliver?
Caroline Crewkerne was far better endowed with the goods of this world
than many people think a private citizen has a right to be. She was a
rich old woman, and, like so many rich old women, she was grasping.
Cheriton was rich also, but, for all his cynical airs, his culture was
liberal enough to forbid his making a god of his money. However, he
was never averse from a battle of wits. If it was freely spiced with a
frank contempt for the polite conventional glosses which he delighted
to mock, so much the better.
Cheriton’s chief desire, apart from the state of his emotions, was to
read his old friend a lesson. He knew that she had tried her hardest
to overreach him. Not, of course, on her own behalf, but for the
amateur’s sheer love of performing that action. He had had the wit to
defend himself successfully, and now he must see if he could not make
her pay for her devices. He was perfectly willing to marry Miss Perry,
and, prior to so doing, he was prepared to settle a certain sum upon
her. But at the same time, he made it a point that something fixed and
definite must be forthcoming from the other side.
It was that rock which sundered them finally at two o’clock in the
morning. When this condition was first laid down, Caroline Crewkerne
laughed to scorn “the insolent proposal,” as she called it. In the
presence, however, of Cheriton’s extreme imperturbability, which
none knew better how to assume when he chose, she grew gradually
cooler, until at two o’clock she brought herself to say that, “without
pledging herself to anything, she would consider it more fully, and,
if necessary, she would take the advice of those who had had more
experience in these matters.”
They parted amicably, and, it is to be feared, with a renewed respect
for one another. They had fought many shrewd battles of one kind or
another--over cards, over politics, over a flagrant job, over a third
person’s reputation, over a sale of shares; in fact, over everything
except religion. It was their cheerful custom to expect no quarter and
to give none. But at the same time, they bore no malice.
As Cheriton bore his candle up the ghostly stone-flagged staircase,
with suits of armor grinning at him and mediæval weapons menacing him
from the walls, and the young moon peering at him through the oriel
windows, he knew that his old adversary would make a last final and
consummate effort to entangle George Betterton. And if she succeeded,
the United Kingdom would not contain a happier old woman than she.
Outside the first door in the corridor was a pair of shoes. They
were rather large. Outside the next door was another pair, far less
fashionable in design, yet in size precisely similar. Cheriton stood a
moment to gaze reflectively from one pair to the other.
“I shall risk it,” he mused. “George won’t rise now. But it is rather a
pity both of ’em are so dooced handy with a rod and tackle.”
“Cheriton,” said a grim voice behind him, “do you know of what you
remind me?”
“Paris on Mount Ida?”
“No,” said Caroline Crewkerne. “You remind me of a fox outside a
poultry-yard, looking for a hole in the fence.”
Cheriton shook his head protestingly.
“A curiously banal figure,” said he. “Why are you always so
_bourgeoise_, Caroline? You have no need to be.”
Caroline shook her head also.
“Cheriton,” said she, with great resolution, “I don’t believe a word
you have told me about Priscilla L’Estrange.”