“But how, Anthony? How on earth can I? Everything is mixed now.”
“I know,” said I. “But I've been thinking that out. We can do it.”
“Yes,” said she; “but don't you see--”
It was not becoming easier. So I broke out with my conclusions:
“In its essentials, dear, our plan is not changed at all.”
“That's absurd, Anthony!”
“No. What has happened has merely deferred the payment of that money.
Ultimately it will have to come to you. Something, surely. I will
advance it.” She moved restlessly. I hurried on. “You will give me your
note and an assignment of your claim on the estate. I--I will charge you
interest, Heloise. It will be perfectly businesslike. These things are
done every day. Really.”
It was no good talking on. She had turned her face away, and, under
pretext of resting it on her hand, was hiding it from me. I forgot
what she had said about not leaving her again, and stumbled out of the
compartment and went back to Hindmann.
I did not return until he told me that we were approaching the outskirts
of Peking.
She smiled, as she had before. Then I helped her on with her coat, and
gathered up the magazines. We stood there, awkwardly.
Finally I said--“Well, we are n't quite there yet. We may as well sit
again.”
Then the train slowed down, and dallied along by jerky stages.
“Anthony,” said she. “I've been thinking, you never saw him in his
younger days. He was a very likeable man, dear. He got on with people.
And he was a good business man. Big and bluff, you know, and strong. I--
I've been thinking--we should n't have married, he and I. That was a
mistake. I was too young to know what marriage means. And he was very
positive. But I can't help wishing you had seen him--before. I really
think you would have liked him, Anthony. Strong men always did.... You
don't think it strange of me?”
“Heloise, dear,” said I, “I've been thinking the same strange thoughts.
I did like him. He never really knew what he was doing. Even after what
happened--what he tried to do--I have n't been able to feel any hatred.
No, not even anger. Nothing but a queer sort of sorrow.”
“Oh, Anthony,” she breathed, her eyes shining. “_Do_ you feel that way?”
Then she said--“I've wanted to ask you.... It's difficult... did he know
about--us, Anthony?”