SIR HOKUS OF POKES
It was long past sunup before Dorothy awoke. She rubbed her eyes,
yawned once or twice, and then shook the Cowardly Lion. The gates of
the city were open, and although it looked even grayer in the daytime
than it looked at night, the travelers were too hungry to be
particular. A large placard was posted just inside:
THIS IS POKES!
DON'T RUN!
DON'T SING!
TALK SLOWLY!
DON'T WHISTLE!
_Order of the Chief Poker._
read Dorothy. "How cheerful! Hah, hoh, hum-mm!"
"Don't!" begged the Cowardly Lion with tears in his eyes. "If I yawn
again, I'll swallow my tail, and if I don't have something to eat
soon, I'll do it anyway. Let's hurry! There's something queer about
this place, Dorothy! Ah, hah, hoh, hum-mm!"
Stifling their yawns, the two started down the long, narrow street.
The houses were of gray stone, tall and stiff with tiny barred
windows. It was absolutely quiet, and not a person was in sight. But
when they turned the corner, they saw a crowd of queer-looking people
creeping toward them. These singular individuals stopped between each
step and stood perfectly still, and Dorothy was so surprised at their
unusual appearance that she laughed right in the middle of a yawn.
In the first place, they never lifted their feet, but pushed them
along like skates. The women were dressed in gray polka-dot dresses
with huge poke bonnets that almost hid their fat, sleepy,
wide-mouthed faces. Most of them had pet snails on strings, and so
slowly did they move that it looked as though the snails were tugging
them along.
The men were dressed like a party of congressmen, but instead of high
hats wore large red nightcaps, and they were all as solemn as owls.
It seemed impossible for them to keep both eyes open at the same
time, and at first Dorothy thought they were winking at her. But as
the whole company continued to stare fixedly with one open eye, she
burst out laughing. At the unexpected sound (for no one had ever
laughed in Pokes before), the women picked up their snails in a great
fright, and the men clapped their fingers to their ears or to the
places where their ears were under the red nightcaps.
"These must be the Slow Pokes," giggled Dorothy, nudging the Cowardly
Lion. "Let's go to meet them, for they'll never reach us at the rate
they are coming!"
"There's something wrong with my feet," rumbled the Cowardly Lion
without looking up. "Hah, hoh, hum! What's the use of hurrying?" The
fact of the matter was that they couldn't hurry if they tried.
Indeed, they could hardly lift their feet at all.
"I wish the Scarecrow were with us," sighed the Cowardly Lion,
shuffling along unhappily. "He never grows sleepy, and he always
knows what to do."
"No use wishing," yawned Dorothy. "I only hope he's not as lost as we
are."
By struggling hard, they just managed to keep moving, and by the time
they came up with the Slow Pokes, they were completely worn out. A
cross-looking Poke held up his arm threateningly, and Dorothy and the
Cowardly Lion stopped.
"You--" said the Poke; then closed his mouth and stood staring
vacantly for a whole minute.
"Are--" He brought out the word with a perfectly enormous yawn, and
Dorothy began fanning the Cowardly Lion with her hat, for he showed
signs of falling asleep again.
"What?" she asked crossly.
"Under--" sighed the Poke after a long pause, and Dorothy, seeing
that there was no hurrying him, began counting to herself. Just as
she reached sixty, the Poke pushed back his red nightcap and shouted:
"Arrest!"
"Arrest!" shouted all the other Pokes so loud that the Cowardly Lion
roused himself with a start, and the pet snails stuck out their
heads. "A rest? A rest is not what we want! We want breakfast!"
growled the lion irritably and started to roar, but a yawn spoiled
it. (One simply cannot look fierce by yawning.)
"You--" began the Poke. But Dorothy could not stand hearing the same
slow speech again. Putting her fingers in her ears, she shouted back:
"What for?"
The Pokes regarded her sternly. Some even opened both eyes. Then the
one who had first addressed them, covering a terrific gape with one
hand, pointed with the other to a sign on a large post at the corner
of the street.
"Speed limit 1/4 mile an hour" said the sign.
"We're arrested for speeding!" shouted Dorothy in the Cowardly Lion's
ear.
"Did you say feeding?" asked the poor lion, waking up with a start.
"If I go to sleep again before I'm fed, I'll starve to death!"
"Then keep awake," yawned Dorothy. By this time, the Pokes had
surrounded them and were waving them imperiously ahead. They looked
so threatening that Dorothy and the Cowardly Lion began to creep in
the direction of a gloomy, gray castle. Of the journey neither of
them remembered a thing, for with the gaping and yawning Pokes it was
almost impossible to keep awake. But they must have walked in their
sleep, for the next thing Dorothy knew, a harsh voice called slowly:
"Poke--him!"
Greatly alarmed, Dorothy opened her eyes. They were in a huge stone
hall hung all over with rusty armor, and seated on a great stone
chair, snoring so loudly that all the steel helmets rattled, was a
Knight. The tallest and crossest of the Pokes rushed at him with a
long poker, giving him such a shove that he sprawled to the floor.
"So--" yawned the Cowardly Lion, awakened by the clatter, "Knight has
fallen!"
"Prisoners--Sir Hokus!" shouted the Chief Poker, lifting the Knight's
plume and speaking into the helmet as if he were telephoning.
The Knight arose with great dignity, and after straightening his
armor, let down his visor, and Dorothy saw a kind, timid face with
melancholy blue eyes--not at all Pokish, as she explained to Ozma
later.
"What means this unwonted clamor?" asked Sir Hokus, peering curiously
at the prisoners.
"We're sorry to waken you," said Dorothy politely, "but could you
please give us some breakfast?"
"A lot!" added the Cowardly Lion, licking his chops.
"It's safer for me to sing," said the Knight mournfully, and throwing
back his head, he roared in a high, hoarse voice:
"Don't yawn! Don't yawn!
We're out of breath--
Begone--BEGONE
Or die the death!"
The Cowardly Lion growled threateningly and began lashing his tail.
"If he weren't in a can, I'd eat him," he rumbled, "but I never could
abide tinned meat."
"He's not in a can, he's in armor," explained Dorothy, too interested
to pay much attention to the Cowardly Lion, for at the first note of
the Knight's song, the Pokes began scowling horribly, and by the time
he had finished they were backing out of the room faster than Dorothy
ever imagined they could go.
"So that's why the sign said don't sing," thought Dorothy to herself.
The air seemed clearer somehow, and she no longer felt sleepy.
When the last Poke had disappeared, the Knight sighed and climbed
gravely back on his stone chair.
"My singing makes them very wroth. In faith, they cannot endure
music; it wakens them," explained Sir Hokus. "But hold, 'twas food
you asked of me. Breakfast, I believe you called it." With an uneasy
glance at the Cowardly Lion, who was sniffing the air hungrily, the
Knight banged on his steel armor with his sword, and a fat, lazy Poke
shuffled slowly into the hall.
"Pid, bring the stew," roared Sir Hokus as the Poke stood blinking at
them dully.
"Stew, Pid!" he repeated loudly, and began to hum under his breath,
at which Pid fairly ran out of the room, returning in a few minutes
with a large yellow bowl. This he handed ungraciously to Dorothy.
Then he brought a great copper tub of the stuff for the Cowardly Lion
and retired sulkily.
Dorothy thought she had never tasted anything more delicious. The
Cowardly Lion was gulping down his share with closed eyes, and both,
I am very sorry to say, forgot even to thank Sir Hokus.
"Are you perchance a damsel in distress?"
Quite startled, Dorothy looked up from her bowl and saw the Knight
regarding her wistfully.
"She's in Pokes, and that's the same thing," said the Cowardly Lion
without opening his eyes.
"We're lost," began the little girl, "but--"
There was something so quaint and gentle about the Knight, that she
soon found herself talking to him like an old friend. She told him
all of their adventures since leaving the Emerald City and even told
about the disappearance of the Scarecrow.
"Passing strange, yet how refreshing," murmured Sir Hokus. "And if I
seem a little behind times, you must not blame me. For centuries, I
have dozed in this gray castle, and it cometh over me that things
have greatly changed. This beast now, he talks quite manfully, and
this Kingdom that you mention, this Oz? Never heard of it!"
"Never heard of Oz?" gasped the little girl. "Why, you're a subject
of Oz, and Pokes is in Oz, though I don't know just where."
Here Dorothy gave him a short history of the Fairy country, and of
the many adventures she had had since she had come there. Sir Hokus
listened with growing melancholy.
"To think," he sighed mournfully, "that I was prisoner here while all
that was happening!"
"Are _you_ a prisoner?" asked Dorothy in surprise. "I thought you were
King of the Pokes!"
"Uds daggers!" thundered Sir Hokus so suddenly that Dorothy jumped.
"I am a _knight!"_
Seeing her startled expression, he controlled himself. "I was a
knight," he continued brokenly. "Long centuries ago, mounted on my
goodly steed, I fared from my father's castle to offer my sword to a
mighty king. His name?" Sir Hokus tapped his forehead uncertainly.
"Go to, I have forgot."
"Could it have been King Arthur?" exclaimed Dorothy, wide-eyed with
interest. "Why, just think of your being still alive!"
"That's just the point," choked the Knight. "I've been alive--still,
so still that I've forgotten everything. Why, I can't even remember
how I used to talk," he confessed miserably.
"But how did you get here?" rumbled the Cowardly Lion, who did not
like being left out of the conversation.
"I had barely left my father's castle before I met a stranger," said
Sir Hokus, sitting up very straight, "who challenged me to battle. I
spurred my horse forward, our lances met, and the stranger was
unseated. But by my faith, 'twas no mortal Knight." Sir Hokus sighed
deeply and lapsed into silence.
"What happened?" asked Dorothy curiously, for Sir Hokus seemed to
have forgotten them.
"The Knight," said he with another mighty sigh, "struck the ground
with his lance and cried, 'Live Wretch, for centuries in the
stupidest country out of the world,' and disappeared. And here--here
I am!" With a despairing gesture, Sir Hokus arose, big tears
splashing down his armor.
"I feel that I am brave, very brave, but how am I to know until I
have encountered danger? Ah, friends, behold in me a Knight who has
never had a real adventure, never killed a dragon, nor championed a
Lady, nor gone on a Quest!"
Dropping on his knees before the little girl, Sir Hokus took her
hand. "Let me go with you on this Quest for the valiant Scarecrow.
Let me be your good Night!" he begged eagerly.
"Good night," coughed the Cowardly Lion, who, to tell the truth, was
feeling a bit jealous. But Dorothy was thrilled, and as Sir Hokus
continued to look at her pleadingly, she took off her hair ribbon and
bound it 'round his arm.
"You shall be my own true Knight, and I your Lady Fair!" she
announced solemnly, and exactly as she had read in books.
At this interesting juncture the Cowardly Lion gave a tremendous
yawn, and Sir Hokus with an exclamation of alarm jumped to his feet.
The Pokes had returned to the hall, and Dorothy felt herself falling
asleep again.
Up, up, my lieges and away!
We take the field again--
For Ladies fair we fight today
And KING! Up, up, my merry men!
shrilled the Knight as if he were leading an army to battle. The
Pokes opened both eyes, but did not immediately retire. Sir Hokus
bravely swallowed a yawn and hastily clearing his throat shouted
another song, which he evidently made up on the spur of the moment:
Avaunt! Be off! Be gone--Methinks
We'll be asleep in forty winks!
This time the Pokes left sullenly, but the effect of their presence
had thrown Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion, and the Knight into a violent
fit of the gapes.
"If I fall asleep, nothing can save you," said Sir Hokus in an
agitated voice. "Hah, hoh, hum! Hah--!"
The Knight's eyes closed.
"Don't do it, don't do it!" begged Dorothy, shaking him violently.
"Can't we run away?"
"I've been trying for five centuries," wailed the Knight in a
discouraged voice, "but I always fall asleep before I reach the gate,
and they bring me back here. They're rather fond of me in their slow
way," he added apologetically.
"Couldn't you keep singing?" asked the Cowardly Lion anxiously, for
the prospect of a five-century stay in Pokes was more than he could
bear.
"Couldn't we _all_ sing?" suggested Dorothy. "Surely all three of us
won't fall asleep at once."
"I'm not much of a singer," groaned the Cowardly Lion, beginning to
tremble, "but I'm willing to do my share!"
"I like you," said Sir Hokus, going over and thumping the Cowardly
Lion approvingly on the back. "You ought to be knighted!"
The lion blinked his eyes, for Sir Hokus' iron fist bruised him
severely, but knowing it was kindly meant, he bore it bravely.
"I am henceforth a beknighted lion," he whispered to Dorothy while
Sir Hokus was straightening his armor. Next the Knight took down an
iron poker, which he handed to Dorothy.
"To wake us up with," he explained. "And now, Lady Dorothy, if you
are ready, we will start on the Quest for the honorable Scarecrow,
and remember, everybody sing--_Sing for your life!"_