Major O'Teague did not stay late. He apologised for hurrying away from
such excellent company; but the fact was that he had, in a thoughtless
hour, accepted an invitation to supper from a lady who was as beautiful
as she was virtuous--perhaps even more so. He hoped that Mr. Long would
pardon the precipitancy of his flight, and not attribute it to any
churlishness on his part.
Mr. Long did his best to reassure him on this point,--he had already
stayed for an hour, and had drunk a bottle and a half of claret and
half a tumbler of brandy "to steady the wine," he declared; and indeed
it seemed that the claret was a little shaky.
When they were alone Dick said:
"I was afraid, sir, that letter would come to you."
He shook his head with the air of a man who has had a varied experience
of men and their ways.
"I frankly confess that I was surprised to receive it," said Mr. Long.
"But I had made my calculations without allowing for such a possibility
as this Major O'Teague. Mathews had some remnant of discretion, and
that is why three days have passed before I receive his challenge."
"You think that Mathews would not have sent it of his own accord?" said
Dick.
"I am convinced of it," replied Mr. Long. "He knows something of what
I know about him, and he has given me the best evidence in the world
of his desire to get rid of me once and for all. But he would never
have sent me this challenge had it not been that that fire-eating Irish
adventurer got hold of him and talked him into a fighting mood. What
chance would a weak fool such as Mathews have against so belligerent
a personality as O'Teague? Heavens, sir, give the man an hour with
the most timorous of human beings, and I will guarantee that he will
transform him into a veritable swashbuckler. Mathews is a fool, and he
is probably aware of it by now--assuming that an hour and a half has
elapsed since O'Teague left him."
"If he had not challenged you, he need never have shown his face in
Bath again," said Dick.
"Oh, my dear Dick, you have not seen so much of Bath as I have," said
Mr. Long. "Bath will stand a great deal. Has it not stood Mathews for
several years?"
Dick made no reply; he was walking to and fro in the room in
considerable agitation. At last he stood before Mr. Long.
"Dear sir," he cried, "why will you not consent to my taking this
quarrel on myself? Why should you place your life in jeopardy for the
gratification of Mathews and his associates? Think, sir, that your life
is valuable; while mine--well, I can afford to risk it."
"My dear boy, you have risked your life once for me," said Mr. Long,
laying a hand on Dick's shoulder. "I cannot permit you to do so a
second time. But believe me, I shall run no risk in this matter. I give
you my word that I shall never stand up before that fellow. Why, when
his friend the major was juggling, but without the skill of a juggler,
with his metaphors just now, I was thinking out three separate and
distinct plans for making a duel impossible, however well-intentioned
Major O'Teague may be."
"Tell me but one of them, Mr. Long," said Dick.
"Nay, my friend, I debated the question of telling you when I had
worked out my plans of campaign, and I came to the conclusion that you
must know nothing of--of--of what I know," said Mr. Long. "You hope to
write a play one of these days? Well, sir, there is no discipline equal
to that of one's daily life for a man who aspires to write a comedy
dealing with the follies of the time. The comedy of the duel has never
been rightly dealt with. Behold your chance, sir."
Dick resumed the shaking of his head.
"Ah, sir, what I dread is the play which one means to be a comedy, but
which becomes in its development a tragedy."
"True, that is always to be dreaded," said Mr. Long. "And I allow that
Fate is not a consistent designer of plays. She mixes up comedy and
tragedy in such a tangle that her own shears alone can restore the
symmetry of the piece. When Fate puts on the mask of comedy the result
is very terrible. But we shall do our best to get her to play a leading
part on our side, in our company, and I promise you some diversion. Now
you must act in this little play as if you were no novice on the stage,
but as if, like Major O'Teague, you had played the part fourteen times.
At the outstart you must get rid of your nervousness. I tell you again,
the play is a comedy."
"I would not be nervous if I were playing the chief part, sir."
"What, you are still willing to play the leading character? That is
quite unlike a play-actor, Mr. Sheridan. Is't not very well known that
an actor would submit to anything rather than play a leading character?
Has your father never told you how anxious they all are to be cast for
the insignificant parts?"
Dick laughed.
"Oh, that, sir, is one of the best-known traits of the profession of
acting," he said. "But I should dearly like to have a shot at Captain
Mathews."
"He is a soldier, but I fear that he will not meet his death by so
honourable an agent," said Mr. Long. "No, if he dies by a shot it will
be fired at him by a platoon of men with muskets. Now, you will arrange
with Major O'Teague as to the time and place of the meeting. I have no
choice in regard to the weapons; but I wish to suggest as a suitable
ground the green paddock facing the iron gate where you came to my
assistance when I was attacked by the footpads."
"I do not see that the man can make any objection to so suitable a
place," said Dick.
"We shall see," said Mr. Long. "At any rate, it is my whim to meet him
there. You see, I was once very lucky in that neighbourhood, and I have
my superstitions."
Dick went home with a heavy heart. He could not understand why Mr.
Long should still persist in the belief that no duel would be fought.
He seemed to have acquired the idea that Mathews was a coward because
he had taken his horsewhipping so quietly; but Dick, having seen how
the fellow had been overpowered at the outset by the superior strength
of his opponent, knew perfectly well that he had had no choice in the
matter. He had displayed weakness, but not cowardice; and Dick had felt
certain that he was just the man to seek an opportunity of revenging
himself with the weapons of the duellist. He had believed all along
that Mathews would regard the realisation of his scheme as a matter of
life or death. If it became known that he had evaded calling out the
man who had so publicly insulted him, he would, of course, be compelled
to leave Bath. If, however, he succeeded in killing Mr. Long--and Dick
felt convinced that he would do his best to kill him--he would be able
to swagger about as the hero of the hour. That was the _rôle_ which
exactly suited him.
But would he have the chance of killing Mr. Long?
Before he slept, Dick had made up his mind that if Mathews killed Mr.
Long, he himself would either prevent his playing the _rôle_ of the
hero, or give him a double chance of playing it. The moment this duel
with Mr. Long was over he would send a challenge to Mathews. He felt
that he would have every right to do so. The horsewhipping which Mr.
Long had administered to the man was a sufficient punishment for his
insult; but Dick did not forget that the placing of the ribald verses
in the urn was a gross insult to every lady present on the lawn at
Bath-Easton, and he had long ago made up his mind that he would accept
the responsibility of avenging this special affront. All the sophistry
of his chivalrous nature backed up this resolution of his, until he had
no difficulty in feeling that he was the exponent of a sacred duty.
Was it to be placed in the power of any rascal, he asked an imaginary
objector, to insult a number of ladies in the shocking way that Mathews
had done, with impunity? Was that entire company to have no redress for
the gross conduct of the fellow?
Surely it was the privilege of every man with a spark of chivalry in
his nature--ordinary chivalry, mind, the ordinary spirit of manhood--to
do all that lay within his power to prevent a recurrence of such an
outrage upon civilised society as had been perpetrated. If no other
man thought fit to make a move toward so desirable an end, he, Richard
Brinsley Sheridan, thanked God that he saw his way clearly in the
matter; and the moment he had ceased to act for Mr. Long, he would take
action on his own behalf as the representative of the ladies on whose
fastidious ears the ribald lines had fallen. He fell asleep quite
easily, having made up his mind on this point.
He had an interview the next day with Major O'Teague, and found him
ready to agree to any suggestion made in regard to the meeting. The
only detail to which he took a momentary exception was in respect of
the ground.
"Hivins, Mr. Sheridan, aren't there many nice and tidy places more
adjacent than that paddock, where our friends can have an enjoyable
hour?" he said. "Faith, sir, I have always thought Bath singularly
favoured by Providence in this respect. A bountiful Hivin seems to have
designed it for the settlement of these little affairs. 'Tis singularly
complete in this way, as you may have remarked. Egad! you could kill
your man at the corner of any street. Doesn't it seem to be spurning
the gifts which Providence has laid at our very feet to go two miles
out into the country?"
But Mr. Sheridan had something of the sentimental Irishman in his
nature also, and so he was able to acknowledge frankly that it was on
the border-line of atheism for any one to assert that it was necessary
to go two miles out of Bath in order to conduct friendly hostilities;
still, he thought that the whim of an old gentleman should be respected.
"Mr. Long has lived in the country all his life, you see, Major
O'Teague, and that is no doubt why he makes it a point of sentiment
always to fight in the midst of a sylvan landscape, free from the
contaminating hand of man, you understand?" said Dick.
"'Tis a beautiful thought, sir," said Major O'Teague, raising his eyes
toward the ceiling. "And 'tis one that I can appreciate to the full,
Mr. Sheridan. Thank Hivin, a life of pretty rough campaigning among
pretty rough characters hasn't blunted my finer sensibilities. I feel
that we are bound to respect the whim of your friend just as if we
were his executors. 'Twould be just the same if he had expressed a
desire to be buried under a special tree--maybe one that he had climbed
for chestnuts when a boy, or courted the girl of his choice under when
a sthripling. He didn't say that he had a whim about being laid to rest
under a special tree, sir?"
"We haven't discussed that point yet, sir," said Dick. "The fact is, I
am rather a novice in this business, as you may have perceived, major."
"Don't apologise, sir; we must all make a beginning. 'Tis not your
fault, I'm sure, Mr. Sheridan, that y'haven't killed your man long
ago."
"You do me honour, sir," said Dick.
"Not I, sir. Can't I see with half an eye that y'have the spirit of an
annihilator beating within your bosom? 'Tis only your misfortune that
y'haven't been given your chance yet. But I hope that y'll mind that
you must make up for lost time."
"It will be my study, sir. I intend to begin without delay by calling
out your friend Captain Mathews when this little affair is over."
"Good luck to you, my boy!" cried Major O'Teague, enthusiastically
flinging out his hand to Dick. "Good luck to you, sir! If you'll allow
me to act for you, 'twill be the proudest day of my life."
"We shall talk the matter over when the first affair is settled. One
thing at a time has always been my motto," said Dick.
"I ask your pardon, Mr. Sheridan; I was a bit premature," said Major
O'Teague. "I won't inquire what your reasons are for fighting Mathews;
I never preshume to pry into the motives of gentlemen for whom I act. I
hold that 'twould be an insult to their intelligence to do so. Besides,
if one were to inquire into the rights and wrongs of every quarrel
before it takes place, all manhood would die out of England inside a
year. No, sir; after the fight is the time to inquire, just as after
dinner is the time for the speeches."
But when Major O'Teague called upon Dick the same evening, as courtesy
demanded, a wonderful smile came over his face while he said:
"What is there about that paddock opposite the iron gate by the
Gloucester Road that makes your friend insist on it as the place of
meeting?"
"I give you my word that I have no notion," replied Dick. "Why should
Captain Mathews object to it?"
"That's more than I can say, sir," said O'Teague. "But, by the Lord
Harry, I had a long job getting him to agree to that point. You should
have seen his face when I told him that we were to meet at that same
paddock. He turned as white as a sheet, and said that Mr. Long meant
to insult him by making such a suggestion. ''Tis not there that I'll
fight,' said he, quite livid. You'll excuse me introducing the special
oaths that he made use of, Mr. Sheridan?"
"I am quite sure that their omission is more excusable than their
utterance would be," said Dick. "But he consented to the ground at
last?"
"Ay, at last. But between the first hint of the matter and this 'at
last' a good deal of conversation occurred. 'Twas pretty near my
gentleman came to having a third affair pressed on him. For some reason
or other he wanted to fight nearer town. Well, to be sure, it would be
more homelike. I never did believe in the suburbs myself, and, besides,
'twill be very inconvenient for the spectators. Still----"
"My dear major," cried Dick, "I trust that there will be no spectators
beyond those gentlemen."
"What, sir, would you propose to exclude the public from this
entertainment? I hope that is not your idea of what is due to the
intelligent curiosity of the people of Bath? Asking your pardon, Mr.
Sheridan, I must say that you have no notion at all of fair play."
"You have had so much experience of these matters, Major O'Teague,
I have every confidence that under your guidance we can manage this
little business by ourselves, and without the need for the intrusion of
all the busybodies in Bath," said Dick.
"That may be true enough, Mr. Sheridan," said Major O'Teague, "but
let me remind you that the gentleman for whom I am acting got his
horsewhipping in public---- Why the mischief wasn't I there to see it?
I would have given a guinea for a place in the front row!"
Dick clearly perceived that the man was anxious to be the centre of a
crowd of onlookers; he was treating the duel from the standpoint of a
showman desirous of making plain his own ability as a stage-manager
of experience, and nothing would have pleased him better than to have
engaged Drury Lane for the spectacle.
For a moment or two Dick was annoyed; he was sorely tempted to say
something that would have been hurtful to Major O'Teague's feelings.
He restrained himself, however, and then he suddenly remembered--Major
O'Teague had given him no reason to forget it--that he was talking to
an Irishman. That was why he said in a confidential tone:
"I acknowledge the force of your argument, sir; but the fact is"--his
voice became a whisper--"there is a lady in the case. You will agree
with me in thinking that her feelings must be respected at any cost.
Major O'Teague, if the lady--I refrain from mentioning her name in
this connection--who has given Mr. Long her promise, were to hear of
his danger, the consequences might be very serious to her. We are both
Irishmen, sir."
"Sir," said Major O'Teague, "your thoughtfulness does you honour. No
one ever yet made an appeal to me on behalf of a beauteous creature
without success. The least wish of a lady is sacred in the eyes of
Major O'Teague. If the lady wishes, we'll set our men to fight at
midnight in a coal-cellar."