watering-place; where neither mind nor body can remain _en dishabille_
for one blessed hour. Where slander, and gossip, and humbug, reign
triumphant; where caps and characters are pulled to pieces by the
feminines, and the chart of _conquest_ is marked out (without a shoal
or quicksand,) by the _gentlemen_. Where half a year's salary is spent
in a week by the ambitious dandy, (in embryo,) who gets laughed at for
his pains and pretensions, and returns with damaged pockets and
wardrobe to his attic room, to be dunned remorselessly by tailor and
laundress for many a pitiless day. Where the simpering demoiselle who
has cried 'give, give,' to papa's pocket-book, till it is as dry as
'Gideon's fleece,' catches in the net of her one hundred dollar shawl
and ruinous silk, some brainless fop, who finds, too late, that
'_papa's stocks_' are--_nowhere_!
"No! no! Commend _me_ to _home_, with all its little familiar
comforts. Small they may be, but indispensable. Your nice little
rocking-chair, where you have had so many pleasant reveries--_that_
'porte feuille,' and the memory of the friend who gave it you, and the
thousand little mementos that meet your eye, all suggestive of
_happiness_.
"Commend me to a _city_ home! where my mind can be kept fresh and
bright with interchange of thought with gifted minds, and my heart
warm with loving words and beaming smiles; where I can put my hand
upon newspapers and new publications, before they are spoiled for my
reading, by criticisms, and reviews, and _parrot repetitions_!
"And as for 'trees and fresh air!' a drive with a friend through the
many beautiful outlets from our busy city; or a _walk_ on our lovely
Common, of a balmy evening, where the fragrance of new-mown hay comes
wafted from the hills across the river, and the stars are mirrored in
the clear depths of the mimic pond, and the soft wind plays
refreshingly over your heated temples--then--a _soft, lulling_
serenade 'in the small hours,' and '_rosy dreams till daylight_!'
"'Tell you the news,' hey? Well, the _great Daniel's_ thoughts, at
present, are upon _fish-line and hook_--particularly the last _English
hook_! The 'Maine liquor law' is the _main_ question, and who'll 'pay
the _Scot-t_,' is another! Bread and balloons have 'riz;' _gloves is_
'tight;' flowers 'looking up;' _dickies is_ 'depressed;' '_stocks_' is
'_scarce_;' _belles_, none '_in the market_:' beaux--'improving;'
guardians '_quiet_;' and I am,
"Yours, _till you get married_!
"FANNY FERN."
THE END.
End of Project Gutenberg's The Life and Beauties of Fanny Fern, by Anonymous