A FORWARD MOVEMENT.
As travellers like to give their own impressions of a journey, though
every inch of the way may have been described a half a dozen times
before, I add some of the notes made by the way, hoping that they will
amuse the reader, and convince the skeptical that such a being as Nurse
Periwinkle does exist, that she really did go to Washington, and that
these Sketches are not romance.
New York Train--Seven P. M.--Spinning along to take the boat at New
London. Very comfortable; munch gingerbread, and Mrs. C.'s fine pear,
which deserves honorable mention, because my first loneliness was
comforted by it, and pleasant recollections of both kindly sender and
bearer. Look much at Dr. H.'s paper of directions--put my tickets in
every conceivable place, that they may be get-at-able, and finish by
losing them entirely. Suffer agonies till a compassionate neighbor
pokes them out of a crack with his pen-knife. Put them in the inmost
corner of my purse, that in the deepest recesses of my pocket, pile a
collection of miscellaneous articles atop, and pin up the whole. Just
get composed, feeling that I've done my best to keep them safely, when
the Conductor appears, and I'm forced to rout them all out again,
exposing my precautions, and getting into a flutter at keeping the man
waiting. Finally, fasten them on the seat before me, and keep one eye
steadily upon the yellow torments, till I forget all about them, in
chat with the gentleman who shares my seat. Having heard complaints of
the absurd way in which American women become images of petrified
propriety, if addressed by strangers, when traveling alone, the inborn
perversity of my nature causes me to assume an entirely opposite style
of deportment; and, finding my companion hails from Little Athens, is
acquainted with several of my three hundred and sixty-five cousins, and
in every way a respectable and respectful member of society, I put my
bashfulness in my pocket, and plunge into a long conversation on the
war, the weather, music, Carlyle, skating, genius, hoops, and the
immortality of the soul.
Ten P. M.--Very sleepy. Nothing to be seen outside, but darkness made
visible; nothing inside but every variety of bunch into which the human
form can be twisted, rolled, or "massed," as Miss Prescott says of her
jewels. Every man's legs sprawl drowsily, every woman's head (but
mine,) nods, till it finally settles on somebody's shoulder, a new
proof of the truth of the everlasting oak and vine simile; children
fret; lovers whisper; old folks snore, and somebody privately imbibes
brandy, when the lamps go out. The penetrating perfume rouses the
multitude, causing some to start up, like war horses at the smell of
powder. When the lamps are relighted, every one laughs, sniffs, and
looks inquiringly at his neighbor--every one but a stout gentleman,
who, with well-gloved hands folded upon his broad-cloth rotundity,
sleeps on impressively. Had he been innocent, he would have waked up;
for, to slumber in that babe-like manner, with a car full of giggling,
staring, sniffing humanity, was simply preposterous. Public suspicion
was down upon him at once. I doubt if the appearance of a flat black
bottle with a label would have settled the matter more effectually than
did the over dignified and profound repose of this short-sighted being.
His moral neck-cloth, virtuous boots, and pious attitude availed him
nothing, and it was well he kept his eyes shut, for "Humbug!" twinkled
at him from every window-pane, brass nail and human eye around him.
Eleven, P. M.--In the boat "City of Boston," escorted thither by my car
acquaintance, and deposited in the cabin. Trying to look as if the
greater portion of my life had been passed on board boats, but
painfully conscious that I don't know the first thing; so sit bolt
upright, and stare about me till I hear one lady say to another--"We
must secure our berths at once;" whereupon I dart at one, and, while
leisurely taking off my cloak, wait to discover what the second move
may be. Several ladies draw the curtains that hang in a semi-circle
before each nest--instantly I whisk mine smartly together, and then
peep out to see what next. Gradually, on hooks above the blue and
yellow drapery, appear the coats and bonnets of my neighbors, while
their boots and shoes, in every imaginable attitude, assert themselves
below, as if their owners had committed suicide in a body. A violent
creaking, scrambling, and fussing, causes the fact that people are
going regularly to bed to dawn upon my mind. Of course they are! and so
am I--but pause at the seventh pin, remembering that, as I was born to
be drowned, an eligible opportunity now presents itself; and, having
twice escaped a watery grave, the third immersion will certainly
extinguish my vital spark. The boat is new, but if it ever intends to
blow up, spring a leak, catch afire, or be run into, it will do the
deed tonight, because I'm here to fulfill my destiny. With tragic
calmness I resign myself, replace my pins, lash my purse and papers
together, with my handkerchief, examine the saving circumference of my
hoop, and look about me for any means of deliverance when the moist
moment shall arrive; for I've no intention of folding my hands and
bubbling to death without an energetic splashing first. Barrels,
hen-coops, portable settees, and life-preservers do not adorn the
cabin, as they should; and, roving wildly to and fro, my eye sees no
ray of hope till it falls upon a plump old lady, devoutly reading in
the cabin Bible, and a voluminous night-cap. I remember that, at the
swimming school, fat girls always floated best, and in an instant my
plan is laid. At the first alarm I firmly attach myself to the plump
lady, and cling to her through fire and water; for I feel that my old
enemy, the cramp, will seize me by the foot, if I attempt to swim; and,
though I can hardly expect to reach Jersey City with myself and my
baggage in as good condition as I hoped, I might manage to get picked
up by holding to my fat friend; if not it will be a comfort to feel
that I've made an effort and shall die in good society. Poor dear
woman! how little she dreamed, as she read and rocked, with her cap in
a high state of starch, and her feet comfortably cooking at the
register, what fell designs were hovering about her, and how intently a
small but determined eye watched her, till it suddenly closed.
Sleep got the better of fear to such an extent that my boots appeared
to gape, and my bonnet nodded on its peg, before I gave in. Having
piled my cloak, bag, rubbers, books and umbrella on the lower shelf, I
drowsily swarmed onto the upper one, tumbling down a few times, and
excoriating the knobby portions of my frame in the act. A very brief
nap on the upper roost was enough to set me gasping as if a dozen
feather beds and the whole boat were laid over me. Out I turned; and,
after a series of convulsions, which caused my neighbor to ask if I
wanted the stewardess, I managed to get my luggage up and myself down.
But even in the lower berth, my rest was not unbroken, for various
articles kept dropping off the little shelf at the bottom of the bed,
and every time I flew up, thinking my hour had come, I bumped my head
severely against the little shelf at the top, evidently put there for
that express purpose. At last, after listening to the swash of the
waves outside, wondering if the machinery usually creaked in that way,
and watching a knot-hole in the side of my berth, sure that death would
creep in there as soon as I took my eye from it, I dropped asleep, and
dreamed of muffins.
Five, A. M.--On deck, trying to wake up and enjoy an east wind and a
morning fog, and a twilight sort of view of something on the shore.
Rapidly achieve my purpose, and do enjoy every moment, as we go rushing
through the Sound, with steamboats passing up and down, lights dancing
on the shore, mist wreaths slowly furling off, and a pale pink sky
above us, as the sun comes up.
Seven A.M.--In the cars, at Jersey City. Much fuss with tickets, which
one man scribbles over, another snips, and a third "makes note on."
Partake of refreshment, in the gloom of a very large and dirty depot.
Think that my sandwiches would be more relishing without so strong a
flavor of napkin, and my gingerbread more easy of consumption if it had
not been pulverized by being sat upon. People act as if early traveling
didn't agree with them. Children scream and scamper; men smoke and
growl; women shiver and fret; porters swear; great truck horses pace up
and down with loads of baggage; and every one seems to get into the
wrong car, and come tumbling out again. One man, with three children, a
dog, a bird-cage, and several bundles, puts himself and his possessions
into every possible place where a man, three children, dog, bird-cage
and bundles could be got, and is satisfied with none of them. I follow
their movements, with an interest that is really exhausting, and, as
they vanish, hope for rest, but don't get it. A strong-minded woman,
with a tumbler in her hand, and no cloak or shawl on, comes rushing
through the car, talking loudly to a small porter, who lugs a folding
bed after her, and looks as if life were a burden to him.
"You promised to have it ready. It is not ready. It must be a car with
a water jar, the windows must be shut, the fire must be kept up, the
blinds must be down. No, this won't do. I shall go through the whole
train, and suit myself, for you promised to have it ready. It is not
ready," &c., all through again, like a hand-organ. She haunted the
cars, the depot, the office and baggage-room, with her bed, her
tumbler, and her tongue, till the train started; and a sense of fervent
gratitude filled my soul, when I found that she and her unknown invalid
were not to share our car.
Philadelphia.--An old place, full of Dutch women, in "bellus top"
bonnets, selling vegetables, in long, open markets. Every one seems to
be scrubbing their white steps. All the houses look like tidy jails,
with their outside shutters. Several have crape on the door-handles,
and many have flags flying from roof or balcony. Few men appear, and
the women seem to do the business, which, perhaps, accounts for its
being so well done. Pass fine buildings, but don't know what they are.
Would like to stop and see my native city; for, having left it at the
tender age of two, my recollections are not vivid.
Baltimore.--A big, dirty, shippy, shiftless place, full of goats,
geese, colored people, and coal, at least the part of it I see. Pass
near the spot where the riot took place, and feel as if I should enjoy
throwing a stone at somebody, hard. Find a guard at the ferry, the
depot, and here and there, along the road. A camp whitens one
hill-side, and a cavalry training school, or whatever it should be
called, is a very interesting sight, with quantities of horses and
riders galloping, marching, leaping, and skirmishing, over all manner
of break-neck places. A party of English people get in--the men, with
sandy hair and red whiskers, all trimmed alike, to a hair; rough grey
coats, very rosy, clean faces, and a fine, full way of speaking, which
is particularly agreeable, after our slip-shod American gabble. The two
ladies wear funny velvet fur-trimmed hoods; are done up, like compact
bundles, in tartan shawls; and look as if bent on seeing everything
thoroughly. The devotion of one elderly John Bull to his red-nosed
spouse was really beautiful to behold. She was plain and cross, and
fussy and stupid, but J. B., Esq., read no papers when she was awake,
turned no cold shoulder when she wished to sleep, and cheerfully said,
"Yes, me dear," to every wish or want the wife of his bosom expressed.
I quite warmed to the excellent man, and asked a question or two, as
the only means of expressing my good will. He answered very civilly,
but evidently hadn't been used to being addressed by strange women in
public conveyances; and Mrs. B. fixed her green eyes upon me, as if she
thought me a forward huzzy, or whatever is good English for a presuming
young woman. The pair left their friends before we reached Washington;
and the last I saw of them was a vision of a large plaid lady, stalking
grimly away, on the arm of a rosy, stout gentleman, loaded with rugs,
bags, and books, but still devoted, still smiling, and waving a hearty
"Fare ye well! We'll meet ye at Willard's on Chusday."
Soon after their departure we had an accident; for no long journey in
America would be complete without one. A coupling iron broke; and,
after leaving the last car behind us, we waited for it to come up,
which it did, with a crash that knocked every one forward on their
faces, and caused several old ladies to screech dismally. Hats flew
off, bonnets were flattened, the stove skipped, the lamps fell down,
the water jar turned a somersault, and the wheel just over which I sat
received some damage. Of course, it became necessary for all the men to
get out, and stand about in everybody's way, while repairs were made;
and for the women to wrestle their heads out of the windows, asking
ninety-nine foolish questions to one sensible one. A few wise females
seized this favorable moment to better their seats, well knowing that
few men can face the wooden stare with which they regard the former
possessors of the places they have invaded.
The country through which we passed did not seem so very unlike that
which I had left, except that it was more level and less wintry. In
summer time the wide fields would have shown me new sights, and the
way-side hedges blossomed with new flowers; now, everything was sere
and sodden, and a general air of shiftlessness prevailed, which would
have caused a New England farmer much disgust, and a strong desire to
"buckle to," and "right up" things. Dreary little houses, with chimneys
built outside, with clay and rough sticks piled crosswise, as we used
to build cob towers, stood in barren looking fields, with cow, pig, or
mule lounging about the door. We often passed colored people, looking
as if they had come out of a picture book, or off the stage, but not at
all the sort of people I'd been accustomed to see at the North.
Way-side encampments made the fields and lanes gay with blue coats and
the glitter of buttons. Military washes flapped and fluttered on the
fences; pots were steaming in the open air; all sorts of tableaux seen
through the openings of tents, and everywhere the boys threw up their
caps and cut capers as we passed.
Washington.--It was dark when we arrived; and, but for the presence of
another friendly gentleman, I should have yielded myself a helpless
prey to the first overpowering hackman, who insisted that I wanted to
go just where I didn't. Putting me into the conveyance I belonged in,
my escort added to the obligation by pointing out the objects of
interest which we passed in our long drive. Though I'd often been told
that Washington was a spacious place, its visible magnitude quite took
my breath away, and of course I quoted Randolph's expression, "a city
of magnificent distances," as I suppose every one does when they see
it. The Capitol was so like the pictures that hang opposite the staring
Father of his Country, in boarding-houses and hotels, that it did not
impress me, except to recall the time when I was sure that Cinderella
went to housekeeping in just such a place, after she had married the
inflammable Prince; though, even at that early period, I had my doubts
as to the wisdom of a match whose foundation was of glass.
The White House was lighted up, and carriages were rolling in and out
of the great gate. I stared hard at the famous East Room, and would
have liked a peep through the crack of the door. My old gentleman was
indefatigable in his attentions, and I said, "Splendid!" to everything
he pointed out, though I suspect I often admired the wrong place, and
missed the right. Pennsylvania Avenue, with its bustle, lights, music,
and military, made me feel as if I'd crossed the water and landed
somewhere in Carnival time. Coming to less noticeable parts of the
city, my companion fell silent, and I meditated upon the perfection
which Art had attained in America--having just passed a bronze statue
of some hero, who looked like a black Methodist minister, in a cocked
hat, above the waist, and a tipsy squire below; while his horse stood
like an opera dancer, on one leg, in a high, but somewhat remarkable
wind, which blew his mane one way and his massive tail the other.
"Hurly-burly House, ma'am!" called a voice, startling me from my
reverie, as we stopped before a great pile of buildings, with a flag
flying before it, sentinels at the door, and a very trying quantity of
men lounging about. My heart beat rather faster than usual, and it
suddenly struck me that I was very far from home; but I descended with
dignity, wondering whether I should be stopped for want of a
countersign, and forced to pass the night in the street. Marching
boldly up the steps, I found that no form was necessary, for the men
fell back, the guard touched their caps, a boy opened the door, and, as
it closed behind me, I felt that I was fairly started, and Nurse
Periwinkle's Mission was begun.