WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
I shall never forget my last Sunday in Runswick Bay. It was at the end
of September, and was one of those gloriously brilliant days which we
get in the early autumn, when the sky is cloudless, when the air is
fresh and clear, and when the autumnal tints on trees, hedges, ferns and
brambles make the landscape gorgeous and extremely beautiful and
fascinating.
The high cliff above the bay was a perfect study in colour that morning;
I have never seen more splendid colouring, every varied shade of red and
gold and green was to be found there.
'Tom will be off to Scarborough,' I said to myself as I dressed. 'What a
grand day he has got!'
But I did not wish myself with him; no, I was both glad and thankful to
look forward to a quiet and peaceful Sunday.
There were not many visitors still at Runswick, most of them had left
the week before; but the fishermen came in great numbers to the service,
and the green was covered with them when little Jack and big Jack
appeared, hand-in-hand as usual. Duncan was in the choir, but Polly
thought the wind rather cold for little John, so had remained with him
at home. A good many women and children were present, however, and the
bank was covered with mothers and babies, sitting at a little distance,
lest the noise of the children should disturb the preacher or the
listeners.
What was it that made me think of Tom just as the service began? Was it
a shepherd's plaid cloth cap, of the kind Tom wears, which I saw on the
head of some visitor who was sitting almost out of sight on the seaward
side of the bank? Such small things bring people and things before us
sometimes, and my thoughts wandered to Scarborough for a few minutes,
and I wondered what Tom was doing at that moment. I thought to myself
how he would smile, if he saw me sitting under the old boat and
listening attentively to an open air preacher.
But my thoughts did not wander long, for when the service began every
word of it seemed to be for me.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I had worked the subject out in my mind before I
came to the service, and had quite decided what line of thought Mr.
Christie would take. I thought he would picture the two roads, the one
leading to life, the other to destruction; and then I imagined that he
would speak of the blessedness of being on the narrow road, and would
dwell very vividly on the awful consequences of continuing to walk on
the road leading to hell. But I found that my idea of what his sermon
would be was quite a mistaken one.
'Where are you going? My question to-day,' he said, 'is addressed only
to some of you; would to God it were addressed to you all! I speak
to-day to those who have crossed the line, who have run into the loving
Saviour's arms, who have become servants of Christ.
'My friends, my dear friends, where are you going? What does the Master
say? He calls to every one of His servants, and He says, "If any man
serve Me, let him follow Me, and _where I am_ there shall also My
servant be."
'Servant of Christ, where are you going? The Master answers you, WHERE
I AM.
'And where is that? A little group of men are standing on the Mount of
Olives; above them is the deep blue sky, and they are gazing earnestly
upward, for their Master is rising far above them, and even as they
watch a cloud receives Him out of their sight. Yet still He ascends
higher and yet higher, and as He rises countless angels attend Him. He
is joined by company after company of the heavenly host, who have come
out to meet their King. At length heaven's gates are reached, and the
cry goes forth, "Lift up your heads, O ye gates, even lift them up, ye
everlasting doors, and the King of Glory shall come in." Amidst heaven's
most joyful music the Master passes within to the Heavenly Jerusalem,
the glad, glorious Home. Every care, every sin, every sorrow is left
outside; within all is sunshine, all is joy. And as heaven's gates are
closing, we hear the Master's voice. He leaves us a word of hope, "Where
I am, _there_ shall also My servant be."
'Oh, fishermen, oh, friends, think of that! If you are His servants,
those gates will open for you. Your life may be hard now: some of you
have large families, and heavy work, and long, cold, comfortless nights
tossing on the stormy sea; but never mind, home is coming, heaven is
coming, for "Where I am, there shall also My servant be."
'But that is not all. There is something more wonderful still. For where
is the Master now? He is not only inside the gates of the city, He is
not only walking through the golden streets; but He is in the midst of
the glory of God, He has sat down on the right hand of the throne of
God. Will you and I, dear friends, ever dare to go near that throne?
Will not the glory be too dazzling? Will not the place be holy ground,
too holy for us to approach? Will He allow us to draw near to His
footstool, and even there, close to His glory, to lie low before Him?
'Listen, O servant of Christ, again the Master says, "Where I am,
_there_ shall also My servant be."
'What, on the throne of God! Yes, even _there_ He bids you come;
for what does He say? "To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with
Me in My throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with My Father
in His throne." Oh, what a wonderful promise! We could never have
thought of it; we could never have believed it; we could never even have
dreamt of such a thing, if the Master had not told us Himself.'
And then he concluded by asking us to remember our glorious future.
'Sometimes,' he said, 'you get downhearted, full of sorrow and fear, and
you say, "I shall never hold on to the end." Oh, dear friends, it is
worth an effort, for at the end lies home, at the end stands the throne
of God, with a place waiting for you upon it. "Where I am, there shall
also My servant be."
'What if you have to bear something for the Master's sake? What if you
have to give up friends or comforts for Him? What if you have to take up
your cross and follow Him? It is only for a few days, only for a little
while, and home is coming. "Where I am, there shall also My servant be."
Is it not worth while?'
Then, as he ended, he spoke a few words to all who were there, and he
begged those who were not servants of Christ, to consider what they were
losing. 'All this might be yours,' he said, 'the wide-open gates, the
Heavenly City, the seat on the glorious Throne; but you are turning your
backs on it all, and you are choosing instead--what? A few of earth's
fleeting pleasures, a little of this world's passing enjoyment. Oh, dear
friends, think before it is too late, what your eternal loss will be!'
He said much more, but I cannot remember it now. I only know that I came
away feeling that I had been very near the golden gates of which he
spoke, and had heard the Master's voice saying to me, 'Where I am, there
shall also My servant be.'
The tide was coming in as we left the service, and I was standing on the
shore watching the waves rolling in over the rocks, when I felt an arm
slipped in mine, and when I looked round, to my great surprise, I found
that it was Tom.
'Why, Tom!' I said, 'back already? how early you have come home!'
'Back, Jack?' he said, laughing; 'why, I've never been.'
'Do you mean you haven't been to Scarborough?'
'No, of course not; you didn't think I would go without you, old boy.
We'll go to-morrow, of course. I thought we settled that last night.'
'Why, I've been thinking of you in Scarborough all day!' I said.
'Then your thoughts have gone in a wrong direction for once, Jack,' he
replied, 'for I've been here all the time.'
'I'll walk with you up the hill,' I said; 'it isn't quite dinner-time.'
I was very pleased to see him, and to find that he did not appear to be
vexed with me. We chatted for some time, and then he said casually, 'He
does not speak badly, that lay preacher of yours, Jack.'
I stood still in astonishment. 'Who?' I said, 'Mr. Christie? Why, you
surely were not at the service, Tom! Oh, I know,' I cried, before he
could answer, 'you were behind the bank; I saw a black and white cap,
and I thought how much it was like yours.'
'It could not be much more like, seeing that it was the very same,' said
Tom.
'I'm so glad you heard him,' I ventured to say.
He made no answer, so I thought it was better to say no more; but when
we reached the top of the hill, and he was just leaving me, he said:
'Jack, I'm afraid I was a bit crusty last night. You must not think any
more of it, old fellow. We'll have a jolly day at Scarborough to-morrow.
And, Jack,' he went on, 'I was very much annoyed at the time, I own I
was; but I'm not sure after all that you're not right.'
He said no more, but hurried away, and it was many years before he
referred to the subject again; but the day came when he did mention it,
and when he told me, with tears in his eyes, that he looked upon that
Sunday at Runswick as the first link in the chain of God's loving
Providence, by means of which He had led him to Himself. He told me then
that he had never forgotten my firm refusal to go with him, and he had
never forgotten the sermon to which he had listened hidden from sight by
the bank.
Our day at Scarborough exceeded all our anticipations. The weather was
glorious, and Tom was in excellent spirits, and we thoroughly enjoyed
everything.
I could not help feeling sorry when Thursday came, which was to be my
last day at Runswick Bay. It had been such a happy and so eventful a
time. I seemed to have passed through so much, and to have learnt so
much unknown to me before, that I felt very reluctant to bring my
holiday to a close. As for Duncan and Polly, they were quite melancholy
as the time for my departure drew near.
'We _shall_ feel lost without you, sir,' said Duncan. 'We shan't
know what to do'; and there were tears in Polly's eyes as she said
mournfully, when she set the herrings on the table for my supper,
'Them's the last herrings I shall fry you, sir, and I feel as if there
was going to be a death in the house.'
'Cheer up, Polly,' I said, 'who knows? Perhaps you may have to put up
with me next time I get a holiday, and you may be sure I shall want
plenty of herrings then.'
She brightened a little at this, and little John, who was quite well
now, and who had become very friendly with me since his illness, climbed
up on my knee, and stroked my face with his little thin hand, as if he
were trying to coax me to come back to them again.
There was one thing which I had a great desire to do before leaving
Runswick. I knew that Duncan was much troubled about the Mary Ann. She
had been terribly knocked about in the storm, which was no wonder,
seeing that she had drifted about, bottom upwards, and had been driven
hither and thither on the waves. When Duncan had examined her the day
after his arrival, he had found that she leaked in several places, and
was altogether unseaworthy, and he had been obliged to hire a boat until
such time as the Mary Ann could be properly repaired. Then he went over
to Whitby, and brought an experienced man back with him, and he
overhauled her thoroughly, and gave it as his opinion that it would be a
waste of money to try to patch her up.
When Duncan came in that night I saw that the poor fellow was terribly
downcast. 'The Mary Ann's days are numbered, sir; she'll never be able
to rough it again,' he said. 'She's been a good old boat to me and my
father before me, and it will be like parting from an old friend to give
her up. Yon man, he says she might be cobbled together a bit; but you
would never make a good job of her; she'd do maybe well enough for fine
weather, but you couldn't trust to her in a storm.'
I saw Polly turn pale as he said this. 'Duncan,' she said, going up to
him, and laying her hand on his arm, 'you'll never go in her again;
promise me that. Think of me and little John, Duncan.'
'Ay, my lass,' he said; 'ay, Polly, I do think of thee and little John;
but the worst of it is there's bread must be earnt for thee and little
John. I can't let thee starve, wife.'
'What about the bank-book, Duncan?' I said.
He went to the old oak-chest, and brought it out. I was much touched by
his handing it to me, and bidding me see how it stood. He was perfectly
open with me, and spoke to me as freely as if I had been an old and
tried friend. I added up the amount and read it out to him.
'Well, sir,'he said, 'it's getting on; but it's a good ten pound short
yet. We shall have to hire Brown's boat a bit and do as well as we can,
though it isn't a very paying business when one takes to hiring: it will
be hard enough to make two ends meet, you see, sir, let alone saving up
for the new boat. But I can't see nothing else for it, sir; that is, if
Polly won't let me risk it in the Mary Ann.'
'Duncan,' she said solemnly, 'if thee went to sea in the Mary Ann, and
she went to the bottom, I could _never_ say, "The will of the Lord
be done," for I don't believe it _would_ be God's will for thee to
go in that rotten old thing.'
'Polly is right, Duncan,' I said; 'you must never go in the Mary Ann
again.'
'Well, sir,' he said, 'I see what you mean, you and Polly too, and the
Lord will show us what's to be done.'
Nothing more was said about the Mary Ann at that time, but I had already
made my own plan about the new boat. My aunt had just left me her little
property, and a very nice little property it was. I felt myself a rich
man, for in addition to money invested in various ways, about L200 of
ready money had been placed to my account at the bank.
What could be more delightful, I thought, than to spend the first ten
pounds of this in helping Duncan to complete the purchase of the new
boat? The only difficulty would be to get Duncan to accept the money,
for he had all the honest independence of a Yorkshireman, and I knew
would hesitate about receiving help from any one. But, at the same time,
I knew that in this instance his need was great, and his kindly feeling
towards myself was so strong, that I was not without hope that I might
be able to manage what I had contemplated without giving the dear fellow
offence. I thought, at one time, that I would take Mr. Christie into my
confidence, and would consult with him, but on second thoughts I decided
that it would be wiser not to do so, and felt that I should be more
likely to succeed if no one else was in the secret. So I folded my
bank-note in paper, put it into an envelope, and wrote outside, 'With
little John's love to his daddy, to help him to buy another Little
John.' This I determined to slip into the child's hand when I said
good-bye.
That evening I had supper with the Christies. They were kindness itself,
and told me what a great pleasure it had been to them to meet me. 'Not
only because you are your mother's son, Jack, but for your own sake as
well as hers,' said Mr. Christie with a smile.
I wanted to say something in return, but the words would not come--at
least not then. But, just before I left, I went with Mr. Christie into
his study, and he said, 'Jack, I thought perhaps we might have a little
prayer together before we part'; and then the words came,--
'Mr. Christie,' I said, 'I can never, never thank God enough that I came
here.'
'Let us thank Him together, Jack,' he said.
Then we knelt down, he by the table, and I with my arms resting on the
old organ, and he thanked God for His mercy in bringing me across the
line, and he committed me to His care and keeping to bring me safely
along the road which leads home.
The next morning I was up early, for our train started at eight, and we
had two miles to walk. I had told Polly I should want nothing but a cup
of tea before I set off, but when I came down I found a most tempting
breakfast prepared for me--ham and eggs, and toast in abundance, and
fresh lettuces from Duncan's small garden.
'Well, Polly,' I said, 'you are spoiling me to the last.'
'We can never make enough of you, sir,' said Polly, and there were tears
in her eyes as she said it.
I ran up to pack my bag and collect my things, and I determined to start
in good time, so that I might allow myself a few minutes to say good-bye
to the Christies.
'I must be off, Duncan,' I said.
He was standing outside with little John in his arms, and Polly, with
her hat on, was standing beside him.
'We're coming along with you, sir, to the station,' said Duncan. 'You
won't think it a liberty will you, sir? but me and Polly and little John
would like to see the last of you.'
'Come, that _is_ good of you,' I said. 'I shall have a grand escort
up the hill!'
Polly took the child from his father, and Duncan carried my bag and
easel, and would not even hear of my giving him a hand with them.
I ran into the Christies, but could find no one below; however, I heard
a great running backwards and forwards overhead, and presently Mr.
Christie called out of the bedroom window, 'Wait one moment, Jack; we
are all coming to see you off.'
So my escort increased as I proceeded, and Tom, as he came out of the
hotel, said he thought the whole of Runswick must be going by the early
train, when he saw us, one after another, come toiling up the hill.
Little Jack rode up the whole way on my back, and his horse was very hot
when the top was reached.
Though it is now so many years ago I can see that little party of
friends standing together on the platform, as the train moved out of the
station. I can feel again the warm grasp of Mr. Christie's hand, and can
hear his whispered, 'God bless you, Jack!' I can see Mrs. Christie
holding Marjorie by the hand, and waving her handkerchief to me, and can
hear little Jack crying out, 'Come back soon, do, big Mr. Jack.' I can
see Duncan bareheaded, with little John in his arms, the child waving
the envelope which I had put in his hand as I stepped into the carriage,
and which was still unopened. I can see Polly wiping her eyes with her
apron, and then holding it up and waving it till I was lost to sight. I
can see them all as they appeared to me that day, kind hearts and true,
not one of them ranking amongst the number whom the world counts great,
and yet all of them well known to Him who calleth His own sheep by name
and leadeth them out.
I must just mention here that I had a very touching letter from Duncan
at the end of that week. The spelling was most wonderful, and the
grammar was quite of his own making; but it was full, from end to end,
of the most simple-hearted affection, and of the deepest gratitude.
'Me, and my missus, and little John, can never be thankful enough, sir,'
he said, 'and when the other 'Little John' is afloat, as please God she
soon will be, we hopes as how you will come and have a sail in her.'
So ended my visit to Runswick; and when I consider all that happened
during those few weeks, I think it is small wonder that the little bay
is still fresh in my memory, and that Ella's yellow ragwort made me
dream of it so distinctly. For surely that month was the most important
month in my life, for was it not the beginning of a new life, which,
thank God, has continued ever since?
I can say to-day, even as I said then, 'One is my Master, even Christ,'
and I can look forward, humbly but hopefully, to the time when the
golden gates will open to me, and when the Master's promise will be
fulfilled to me, 'Where I am, there shall also My servant be.'
O Jesus Christ, my Master,
I come to Thee to-day;
I ask Thee to direct me
In all I do or say:
I want to keep my promise
To be Thy servant true,
I come to Thee for orders;
Dear Lord, what shall I do?
I want a heart not heeding
What others think or say;
I want a humble spirit,
To listen and obey.
To serve Thee without ceasing,
'Tis but a little while,--
My strength, the Master's promise,
My joy, the Master's smile.
A.C.W.