III.—THE VISION OF HELL.

One April morning, bright and mild, when earth was with verdure laden,

and Britain, like a paradise, had donned its brilliant livery,

foretelling summer’s sunshine, I sauntered along the banks of the Severn,

while around me, chaunting their sweet carols, the forest’s little

songsters in rivalry poured forth songs of praise to their Maker; and I,

who was far more bounden than they to give praise, at one while lifted up

my voice with the gentle winged choristers, and at another read “_The

Practice of Piety_.” {67} For all that, my previous visions would not

from my mind, but time after time broke in upon every other thought.

They continued to trouble me until after careful reasoning I concluded

that every vision is a heaven-sent warning against sin, and that

therefore it was my duty to write them down as a warning to others also.

And whilst occupied with this work, and sadly endeavouring to recall some

of those awful memories, there fell upon me at my task such drowsiness

that soon opened the way for Master Sleep to glide in perforce. No

sooner had sleep taken possession of my senses than there drew nigh unto

me a glorious apparition upon the form of a young man, tall and exceeding

fair; his raiments were whiter sevenfold than snow, the brightness of his

face darkened the sun, his wavy, golden locks rested on his brow in two

shining coronal wreaths. “Come with me, thou mortal being,” he

exclaimed, when he had drawn near. “Who art thou, Lord?” said I. “I am

the Angel of the realms of the North,” answered he, “guardian of Britain

and its queen. I am one of the princes who stand below the throne of the

Lamb, receiving his commands to protect the Gospel against all its

enemies in Hell, in Rome and in France, in Constantinople, in Africa and

in India, and wherever else they may be, devising plans for its

destruction. I am the Angel who saved thee beneath the Castle of Belial,

and who showed thee the vanity and madness of all the earth, the City of

Destruction and the splendor of Emmanuel’s City; and again have I come at

his bidding to show thee greater things, because thou art seeking to make

good use of what thou hast seen erstwhile.” “How can it be, Lord,” asked

I, “that your glorious highness, guardian of kings and kingdoms, does

condescend to associate with carrion such as I?” “Ah,” said he, “in our

sight a beggar’s virtue is more than a king’s majesty. What if I am

greater than all the kings of earth, and supreme to many of the countless

lords of heaven? Yet, since our eternal Sovereign vouchsafed to take

upon Himself such unutterable humiliation—put on one of your bodies,

lived in your midst, and died to save you, how dare I deem it otherwise

than too sublime for my office to serve thee and the meanest of men, who

are so high in my Master’s favor? Hence, spirit, cast off thine earthy

mould!” he cried, gazing upwards: and at the word, I beheld him fall free

of all bodily form, and snatch me up to the vault of heaven, through the

region of thunder and lightning, and all the glowing armouries of the

empyrean; higher, immeasureably higher than I had previously been with

him, and where the earth appeared scarcely wider than a stack-yard.

Having allowed me to rest awhile, he hurried me upwards a myriad miles,

until the sun appeared far beneath us; through the milky way, past

Pleiades, and many other stars of appalling magnitude, catching a distant

glimpse of other worlds. And after journeying for a long time, we come

at last to the confines of the great eternity, in sight of the two courts

of the vauntful King of Death—one to the right, the other to the left,

but very far apart from one another as there lay an immense void between

them. I asked whether I might go and see the court on my right hand, for

I observed that this was not at all like the other I had previously seen.

“Thou shalt perchance,” said he, “see, somewhile, more of the difference

there is between them. But now we must proceed in another direction.”

At that we turned away from the little world, and across the intervening

space we let ourselves descend into the Eternal Realm between the two

courts, into the formless void, a boundless tract, most deep and dark,

chaotic and uninhabited, at one time cold, at another hot, {69} now

silent, now resounding with the roaring of cataracts falling and

quenching the fires, and anon of the fire bursting out and burning up the

water. Thus, there was neither order nor completeness, nor life nor

form: nought but this dazing dissonance, this mysterious stupor which

would have made me for ever blind, had not my friend laid bare once more

his vesture of heavenly sheen. By the light he gave I saw before me to

the left the Land of Oblivion, and the borders of the Wilds of

Destruction; and to my right, methought, the base of the ramparts of

Glory. “This is the great abysm between Abraham and Dives,” said he,

“which is called Chaos: this is the land of the matter which God did

first create, and here is the seed of every living thing; of these the

Almighty Word created your world and all it doth contain—water, fire,

air, earth, beasts, fishes, insects, birds and the human body; but your

souls are of a higher and nobler origin and stock.”

Through the huge, frightful chaos we at length broke forth to the left;

and ere we had journey’d far therein where every object grew uglier and

uglier, I felt my heart in my throat, and my hair erect like a hedgehog’s

bristles, even before perceiving anything; but what I did perceive was a

sight no tongue can describe nor the mind of a mortal dwell upon. I

fainted. Oh, that limitless abyss, so dire and terrible, opening out

upon another world! How those awful flames crackled incessantly as they

darted upwards above the banks of the accursed ravine, and the shafts of

impetuous lightning rent the thick, black smoke which the yawning chasm

belched forth! When my beloved companion awoke me, he gave me ambrosial

water to drink, of most excellent flavor and color. After drinking this

heavenly water I felt some wonderful power within me,—wit, courage,

faith, and many other divine virtues. Thereupon I drew nigh with him

unfearingly to the edge of the precipice, shrouded in the veil, whilst

the flames parted asunder around us, and dared not touch denizens of the

supernal regions. Then from the edge of that dread gulf, we let

ourselves descend, like two stars falling from the canopy of heaven,

down, down for myriad millions of miles, over many sulphurous rocks, and

many a hideous cataract and fiery precipice, where all things bent

downwards ever, with impending aspect; yet they all avoided us, except

when once I poked my nose out of the veil, there struck me such a

stifling and choking stench as would have ended me had he not saved me

out of hand with the reviving water. When I had recovered, I could see

that we were come to a halt, for in all that stupenduous chasm no sooner

stay were possible, so sheer and slippery was it. There my Guide allowed

me once more to rest; and during that respite it chanced that the thunder

and the fierce whirlwinds were a little hushed, and above the roar of the

foaming cataracts, {71} I could hear from afar, louder than all, the

noise of such awful shrieks, wails, cries, and loud groans, of swearing,

cursing and blaspheming, that I would rather have set a bargain upon my

ears than listen. And before we had moved an inch, we heard from above

such _hip-drip-drop_ that had we not straightway stepped aside, there

would have fallen upon us hundreds of unhappy men whom a host of fiends

were hurling headlong, and too hurriedly to a woful fate. “Ho, slowly

sir!” quoth one sprite, “lest you displace your curly lock;” and to

another “Madam, will you have your soft cushion? I fear me you will be

much disordered before you reach your resting-place.”

The strangers were most reluctant to advance, insisting that they were on

the wrong road; still, onward they went, up to the bank of a wide, dark

torrent, whilst we followed in their wake and crossed over with them, my

companion, meanwhile, holding the water to my nostrils to protect me from

the stench rising out of the river. When I beheld some of the

inhabitants (for till now I had not seen a single devil, though I had

heard their voices) I asked: “What, pray, my Guide, is the name of this

death-like stream?” “The river of the Evil One,” answered he, “wherein

all his subjects are immersed to render them accustomed to the country;

its cursed waters changed their countenance, washing away every relic of

goodness, every shadow of hope and happiness.” And on seeing the horde

pass through, I could perceive no difference in loathsomeness between the

devils and the damned. Some wished to crouch at the bottom of the river,

there to remain in suffocation to all eternity, rather than find further

on a worse dwelling; but as the proverb says: “He whom the devil urges

must run,” so these damned beings, thrust on by the demons, were swiftly

borne along the stream of destruction to their eternal ruin; where I too

saw at the first glimpse more tortures and torments than man’s heart can

imagine, far less a tongue repeat; to see one of which was enough to

cause one’s hair to stand on an end, his blood to freeze, his flesh to

melt, his bones to give way, yea and his spirit to swoon within him. Why

speak I of such deeds as the impaling or sawing of men alive, the tearing

of the flesh in pieces with iron pincers or the broiling of it, chop by

chop, with candles, or the jambing of skulls as flat as a slate, in a

press, and all the most frightful degradation the earth ever witnessed?

All such are but pleasures compared with one of these. Here, a million

shrieks, harsh groans and deep sighs; there, fierce lamentations and loud

cries in answer: the howling of dogs were sweet, delightful music

compared with these voices. Before we had gone far from the shores of

that accursed river into wild Perdition, we could see by the light of

their own fire, here and there, men and women without number, whom a

countless host of devils unceasingly and with all their might kept always

torturing; and as the devils were shrieking from the intensity of their

own suffering, they made the damned give response to the utmost. I

observed the part nearest me more minutely: there, the devils with

pitchforks hurled them head foremost upon poisonous hatchels formed of

terrible, barbed darts, thereon to struggle by their brains; then

shortly, they threw them together, layer on layer, upon the summit of one

of the burning crags, there to blaze like a bonfire. Thence they were

snatched away up the ravines amidst the eternal ice and snow; {73} then

plunged again into an enormous flood of seething brimstone to be parched,

stifled, and choked by the direful stench; thence to a quagmire of

vermin, to embrace hellish reptiles far more noxious than serpents or

vipers. After that the devils took knotted rods of fiery steel from the

furnace, wherewith they beat them so that their howls resounded

throughout all Hell, so inexpressibly excruciating was the pain, and then

they seized hot irons to sear the bloody wounds. No swoon or trance is

there to beguile with a moment’s respite, but an unchanging strength to

suffer and to feel; though one would have thought that after one awful

wail there never could be the strength to raise another as weirdly-loud;

yet never will their key be lowered, with the devils ever answering:

“This is your welcome for aye.” And worse, were it possible, than the

pain, was the scorn and bitterness of the devils’ mockery and derision,

but worst of all, their own conscience was now thoroughly awakened, and

devoured them more relentlessly than a thousand infernal lions.

Still down we go, down afar—the further we go the worse the plight; at

the first view I saw a horrid prison wherein a great many men were

uttering blasphemous groans beneath the scourges of the devils: “Who are

all these?” asked I; “This,” answered the Angel, “this is the abode of

Woe-that-I-had-not.” “Woe that I had not been cleansed of all manner of

sin in good time,” quoth one. “Woe is me that I had not believed and

repented before my coming here,” quoth another. Next to the cell of

Too-late-a-repentance, and of Pleading-after-judgment, was the prison of

the Procrastinators, who were always promising to mend their ways, but

who never fulfilled the promise. “When this trouble is past,” saith one,

“I will turn over a new leaf.” “When this hinderance goes by, I’ll be

another man yet,” said another. But when that comes about, they are no

nearer; some other obstacle ever and anon occurs to preventing their

starting towards the gate of holiness; and if sometimes a start is made,

it takes but little to turn them back again. Next to these was the

prison of Presumption, full of those who, whenever they were urged of old

to be rid of their Wantonness, or drunkenness, or avarice, would say:

“God is merciful, and better than His word; He will never damn his own

creature upon a cause so trivial.” But here they yelped blasphemy,

asking: “Where is that mercy boasted to be infinite?” “Silence, ye

whelps!” said a huge, crabbed devil who heard them, “Silence! would he

have mercy who did nought to obtain it? Would ye that Truth should make

its word a lie, merely to gain the company of dross so vile as ye? Was

too much mercy shewn you, a Saviour, a Comforter given you, and the

angels, books, sermons and good examples? Will ye not cease plaguing us

now, prating of mercy where it never was.”

While making our exit from this glaring pit, I heard one moaning and

crying dolefully: “I knew no better; no pains were ever taken to teach me

to read my duties, nor could I spare the time to read and pray whereof I

had need in order to earn bread for myself and my poor family.”

“Indeed,” quoth a crookback devil who stood close at hand, “hadst thou no

leisure to tell merry tales, no idle roasting before thy fire through the

long winter evenings when I was up the chimney, so that no time might

have been given to learning to read or pray? What of thy Sabbaths? Who

was it that was wont to accompany me to the alehouse rather than the

parson to the church? How many a Sunday afternoon was spent in vain,

noisy talk of worldly things, or in sleeping, instead of in learning to

meditate and pray? Didst thou act according to thy knowledge? Silence,

sirrah, with thy lying chatter!” “Thou raving bloodhound!” exclaimed the

condemned, “’tis not long since thou wert whispering other words in mine

ear; hadst thou said this another day, it is not likely I would have come

hither.” “Ah!” said the devil, “it matters not that we tell you the

hateful truth here; for there is no fear of your returning hence now to

carry tales.”

Lower down I could see a deep, valley whence arose the bluish glare of

what seemed to be a countless number of enormous, burning mounds; and

after drawing nigh, I knew by their howling that they were men piled

mountains high with terrible flames crackling through them. “That

hollow,” said the Angel, “is the abode of those who after committing some

heinous deeds, exclaim: ‘Well, I am not the first—I have plenty of

companions,’ and thus thou see’st they have plenty, to verify their words

and add to their affliction.” Opposite this was a large cellar where I

saw men tortured just as withes are twisted or wet sheets wrung. “Who,

prithee, are these?” asked I. “They are the Mockers,” said he, “and the

devils from pure derision essay to find whether they can be twisted as

pliantly as their tales.” A little below, but scarcely visible, was

another gloomy dungeon-cell, wherein was what had once been men, but now

with the faces of wolf-hounds, up to their lips in a morass, madly

howling blasphemy and lies as often as they got their tongues clear of

the mire. Just then a legion of devils passed by, and some attempted to

bite the heels of ten or twelve of the devils that had brought them

there: “Woe and ruin take you, ye hell-hounds!” exclaimed one of the

bitten devils, at the same time stamping upon the quagmire until they

sank in the reeking depths. “Who more deserving of hell than ye, who

gossipped and imagined all manner of tales, who retailed lies from house

to house so that ye might laugh, after setting the entire neighbourhood

at war? What more would one of us have done?” “This,” said the Angel,

“is the abode of the slanderers, defamers and backbiters, and of all

envious cowards who always do hurt in word or deed behind one’s back.”

From thence we went past an enormous lair, the vilest I had yet seen, and

the fullest of vermin, of soot, and of stench. “This,” said he, “is the

place of those who hoped for heaven because they were harmless, in other

words, because they were neither good nor bad.” Next to this foul pit I

saw a great multitude sitting down, whose groans were more fierce than

anything I had heard hitherto in hell. “Save us all!” cried I, “what

makes these complain more than all others, seeing there be no pain, nor

demon near them?” “Ah,” answered the Angel, “if the pain without is

less, that which is within is more,—here are stubborn heretics, the

godless and unchristian, many of the worldy-wise, of apostates, of the

persecutors of the church, and millions such as they, who have utterly

been given over to the more bitterly painful punishment of the

conscience, which now without let or ceasing has its full sway over them.

“I will not this time,” quoth conscience, “be drowned in beer, or blinded

by rewards, or deafened by song and good company, or hushed or stupified

by a thoughtless torpor; now I will be heard, and never shall the truth,

the stinging truth, cease dinning in your ears.” The will creates a

desire for the lost paradise, the memory reproaches them with the ease

wherewith it might have been gained, and the reason shews the greatness

of the loss, and the certainty that nought awaits them but this

unspeakable gnawing for ever and ever; so by these three means,

conscience rends them more terribly than would all the devils in hell.

Coming out of that wondrous defile, I heard much talking, and for every

word such wild horse-laughter as if some five hundred devils would shed

their horns with laughing. But after I had drawn near to behold the very

rare sight of a smile in hell, what was it but two gentlemen, lately

arrived, appealing for the respect due to their rank, and the merriment

was intended only to give affront to them. A pot-bellied squire stood

there with an enormous roll of parchment, his genealogical chart,

declaring from how many of the Fifteen Tribes of Gwynedd he had sprung,

how many justices of the peace, and how many sheriffs there had been of

his house. “Ha ha,” cried one of the devils, “we know the merit of most

of your forebears, were you like your father, or great-great-grandsire,

we would not have deigned to touch you. But thou, thou art but the heir

of utter darkness, vile whelp, thou art hardly worth a night’s lodging;

and yet thou shalt have some nook to await the dawn.” And at the word

the impetuous monster pierces him with his pitchfork, and after whirling

him thirty times through the fiery welkin, hurled him into a hole out of

sight. “That is right enough for a half-blood squire,” said the other,

“but I hope ye will be better mannered towards a knight who has served

the king in person; twelve earls and fifty knights can I recount from

mine own ancient line.” “If thine ancestors, and thy long pedigree are

all thy plea, thou canst go the same gate,” quoth a devil, “for we

remember scarce one old estate of large extent which some oppressor, some

murderer or robber has not founded, leaving it to others as arrant as

they, to idle blockheads or to drunken swine. To maintain lavish pomp,

they had to grind their vassals and tenants, and if there be a beautiful

pony or a fine cow which my lady covets, she will have them, and well it

happens if the daughters, yea, even the wives, escape the lust of their

lord. And the small free-holders around them must either vainly follow

or give bail for them, resulting in their own ruin, the loss of their

possessions, and the sale of their patrimony, or expect to be hated and

despised, and forced to every idle pursuit. Oh how nobly they swear to

gain the confidence of their minions or of their tradesmen, and when

decked out in their finery, how contemptuously they look upon many an

officer of importance in church and state, as if such were mere worms

compared with them. Woe’s me, is not all blood of one color? Was it not

the same way that ye all entered the world?” “For all that, craving your

pardon,” said the knight, “there are some births purer than others.”

“For the great doom all your carcases are the same,” said the imp,

“everyone of you is defiled by the sin that took its origin in Adam.”

“But, sir,” continued he, “if your blood is aught better than another,

the less scum will there be when shortly it will be bubbling through your

body, and if there be more, we must examine you, part by part, through

fire and through water.” Thereupon, a devil in the shape of a fiery

chariot receives him, and the other mockingly lifts him thereinto, and

away he goes with the speed of lightning. Ere long the angel bade me

look, and I saw the poor knight most horribly sodden in an enormous

boiling furnace with Cain, Nimrod, Esau, Tarquin, Nero, Caligula, and

others who first established lineage, and emblazoned family arms.

After wending our way onward a little, my guide bade me peer through a

riven wall, and within I saw a group of coquetts busily primming up,

doing and undoing the deeds of folly they were formerly wont to do on

earth; some puckering their lips, some plucking their eyebrows with

irons, some anointing themselves, some patching their faces with black

spots to make the yellow look whiter, and some endeavouring to crack the

mirror; and after all the pains to color and adorn, upon seeing their

faces far uglier than the devils’, they would tear away with tooth and

nail all the false coloring, the spots, the skin and the flesh all at

once, and would shriek most dismally. “Accursed be my father,” said one,

“it was he who forced me when a girl to wed an old shrivelling, and it

was his kindling my desires with no power to satiate them, that doomed me

to this place.” “A thousand curses on my parents,” cried another, “for

sending me to a monastery to be taught to live a life of chastity; they

might as well have sent me to a Roundhead to learn how to be generous, or

to a Quaker to be taught good manners, as to a Papist to be taught

honesty.” “Fell ruin seize my mother,” shrieked a third, “whose covetous

pride refused me a husband at my need, and so drove me to obtain by

stealth what I might have honestly obtained.” “Hell, a double hell to

the raging bull of a nobleman who first tempted me,” cried another, “had

he not by fair and foul broken through all bounds, I would not have

become a common chattel, nor would I have come to this infernal place;”

and then would they lacerate themselves again.

I made all haste to leave their loathsome kennel, but I had not proceeded

far before I observed, to my astonishment, another prison full of women,

still more abominable; some had become frogs; some, dragons; some,

serpents, and there they swam about, hissing and foaming, and butting one

another, in a fœtid, stagnant pool that was much larger than Bala Lake.

“Pray, what can these be?” asked I. “There are here,” said he, “four

chief classes of women, not to mention their minions—_Firstly_: Panders,

who maintained harlots to sell their virginity an hundred times, and the

worst of these around them. _Secondly_: Mistresses of gossip, surrounded

by thousands of tale-bearing hags. _Thirdly_: Huntresses followed by a

pack of cowardly, skulking hounds, for no man ever dared approach them,

unless in fear of them. _Fourthly_: The scolds, become a hundredfold

more horrid than snakes, always grinding and gnashing their venomous

stings.” “I would have deemed Lucifer too gracious a monarch to place a

noble lady of my rank with these vulgar furies,” complained one, who much

resembled the others, but was far more hideous than a winged serpent.

“Oh, that he would send hither seven hundred of the basest demons of hell

in exchange for thee, thou poisonous hellworm,” cried another ugly viper.

“Many thanks to you,” quoth a gigantic devil, overhearing them, “we

regard our place and worth as something better; though ye would cause

everyone as much pain as we, yet we do not choose to be deprived of our

office in your favor.” “And Lucifer hath another reason,” whispered the

Angel, “for keeping strict guard over these, and that is, lest on

breaking loose, they might send all hell into utter confusion.”

Thence we still descended until I saw an immense cavern wherein was such

fearful clamor that I had never heard the like before—swearing, cursing,

blaspheming, snarling, groaning and yelling. “Whom have we here?” I

asked. “This,” answered he, “is the Den of Thieves; here are myriads of

foresters, lawyers and stewards, with old Judas in their midst.” And it

grieved them sorely to behold a pack of tailors and weavers above them in

a more comfortable chamber. Hardly had I turned round when a demon, in

the shape of a steed, bore in a physician, and an apothecary, and hurled

them into the midst of the pedlars and horse cheats, because they had

sold worthless drugs. And they too began murmuring against being

allotted to such low society. “Stay, stay,” cried one of the devils, “ye

deserve a better place,” and he pitched them down amongst conquerors and

murderers. There were vast numbers in here for playing false dice and

cheating at cards, but before I had time to observe them closely, I could

hear by the door a huge crowd in wild tumult and shouts—_hai_, _hw_,

_ptrw-how-ho-o-o-p_—as of cattle being driven along. I turned round to

see the cause of it, but could perceive only the hornèd demons. I

enquired of my Guide if there were cuckolds with the devils. “No,” said

he, “they are in another cell; these are drovers who wished to escape to

the prison of the Sabbath-breakers, and are sent here against their

will.” Thereupon I look and saw that they had on their heads the horns

of sheep and kine; and those that were driving them on, cast them down

beneath the feet of blood-stained robbers. “Lie there,” said one,

“however much ye feared footpads on the London road erstwhile, ye

yourselves were the very worst class of highwaymen, who made your living

on the road and on robbery, yea and by the perishing of many a poor

family whom ye left in hunger, vainly hoping for the sustenance of their

possessions, while ye were in Ireland or in the King’s Bench laughing at

them, or on the road with your wine and lemans.” On leaving the

furnace-like cave, I caught a glimpse of a haunt, which for loathsome,

stinking abomination, went beyond anything (with one sole exception) that

I had set my eyes upon in hell,—where an accursed herd of drunken swine

lay weltering in the foulest slime.

The next den was the abode of Gluttony, where Dives and his companions,

wallowing on their bellies, devoured dirt and fire alternately, with

never a drop to drink. A little below this, was a very extensive

roasting-kitchen, where some were being roasted and boiled, others

broiling and flaming in a fiery chimney. “This is the place of the

merciless and the unfeeling,” said the Angel. Turning a little to the

left, where there was a cell lighter than any I had so far seen, I asked

what place it was: “The abode of the Infernal Dragons,” said he, “which

growl and rage, rush about and rend one another every instant.” I drew

near and oh! what an indescribable sight they were! It was the glowing

fire of their eyes that gave all that light. “These are the descendants

of Adam,” said my Guide, “scolds and raving, wrathful men; but yonder are

some of the ancient seed of the great Dragon, Lucifer;” but verily I

could not perceive any difference in loveliness between them. In the

next dungeon dwell the misers in awful torment, being linked by their

hearts to chests of burning coin, the rust of which was consuming them

without end, just as they had never thought of an end to the piling of

them, and now they were tearing themselves to pieces with more than

madness through grief and remorse. Below this was a charnel vault where

some of the apothecaries had been ground down and stuffed into

earthenware pots with _Album graecum_, dung, and many a stale ointment.

Ever downward we were journeying through the wilderness of ruin, in the

midst of untold and eternal tortures, from cell to cell, from dungeon to

dungeon, the last alway surpassing in monstrous ghastliness, until

finally we came within view of an enormous entrance hall, most unsightly

of all that I had previously seen. It was very spacious and terribly

steep, running in the direction of a gloomy red corner, full of the most

inconceivable abominations and horrors: it was the royal court. At the

upper end of the king’s accursed hall, amidst thousands of other dread

sights, by the light my companion shed, I could see in the darkness two

feet of prodigious size, and so enormous as to overcast the whole

infernal firmament. I inquired of my Guide what such immensities might

be. “Thou shalt have a fuller view of this monster when returning,” said

he, “but, come now, let us to see the court.” As we were going down that

awful entrance hall, we heard behind us the noise as of very many people

advancing; on stepping aside to let them pass I noticed four divers host,

and upon enquiry I learnt that it was the four princesses of the City of

Destruction leading their subjects as an offering to their sire. I

distinguished the troop of the Princess of Pride, not only because they

insisted upon the foremost position, but also because they stumbled now

and then from want of keeping their eyes upon the ground. She led

captive kings without number, princes, courtiers, noblemen and braggarts,

many Quakers, and women innumerable and of all grades. Next to these

came the Princess of Lucre with her sly and crafty followers—a great many

of the brood of Simon Skinflint, money lenders, lawyers, userers,

stewards, foresters, harlots, and some of the clergy. Then came the

gracious Princess of Pleasure and her daughter Folly, leading her

subjects—players of dice, cards and back-gammon, conjurers, bards,

minstrels, storytellers, drunkards, bawds, balladmongers and pedlars with

their trinkets in countless number, to be at length instruments of

punishment to the damned fools.

When these three had taken their captives into the court to receive

judgment, Hypocrisy, last of all, brings in a more numerous troop than

any of the others, of every nation and age, from town and country,

patrician and plebeian, men and women. In the rear of this double-faced

legion we came within sight of the court; passing through the midst of

many dragons and hornèd demons, and hell’s giants, the dusky porters of

the devil-hunted fire; I, the while, carefully hiding within the veil, we

entered that direful edifice: wonderful, and of amazing roughness was

every part of it; the walls were cruel rocks of burning adamant; the

floor was one unendurable extent of sharp-cutting flint, the roof of

fiery steel, meeting in an arch of greenish and blood-red flames,

similar, except in its size and heat, to a tremendous circular oven.

Opposite the door, upon a flame-encompassed throne sat the Evil One with

the lost archangels around him, seated on benches of terrible fire,

according to the rank they formerly bore in the region of light—the

lovely whelps—it would only be a waste of words to attempt to describe

how atrociously ugly they were, and the longer I gazed upon them,

sevenfold more frightful did they become. In the centre above Lucifer’s

head was a huge hand grasping an awful bolt. The princesses, after

paying their courtesy, immediately returned to their duties on earth. No

sooner had they departed than at the King’s bidding, a gigantic devil

with cavernous jaws set up a roar, louder than the discharge of a hundred

cannon, and as loud, were it possible, as the last trump, to proclaim the

infernal Parliament, and behold, without delay, the court and hall are

filled by the rabble of hell in every shape, each upon the form and image

of that particular sin he was wont to urge upon men. After enjoining

silence, Lucifer, looking steadfastly upon the chieftains nearest him,

began and spake these gracious words:—

“Ye peers of this profoundest gulf, princes of the hopeless gloom, if we

have lost the place we erst possessed, when, clothed with brightness, we

dwelt in those celestial, happy realms; yet, however great our fall,

’twas glorious, nought less than all did we hazard, nor is all lost—for,

behold regions wide and deep extending to the utmost bounds of desolate

Perdition still ’neath our sway. ’Tis true we reign while racked with

raging torment, yet, for spirits of our majesty, ’tis better to reign in

hell than serve in heaven. {85a} And what is more, we have well nigh won

another world, a greater than a fifth of earth has been for long beneath

my standard. And although our Omnipotent Enemy sent his own Son to die

for them, I, by my pleasing guile, gain ten for every one He gains

through his crucified Son. Though we cannot aspire to do hurt to Him on

high who hurls His all-conquering thunder, yet revenge by whatsoever

means is sweet. {85b} Let us then bring ruin on the rest of men who

adore our Destroyer. Well do I recollect the time when ye caused them,

their armies and their cities, to be consumed in horrible combustion, yea

and caused nigh all the dwellers on the earth to fall through the

whelming waters into this fire. But now, although your strength and

innate cruelty are no whit less, ye have been somewhat listless; were it

not for this, we would have long ago destroyed the godly few, and brought

the earth one with this our vast domain. But know this, ye grim

ministers of my wrath, if ye henceforth be not up and doing, valiantly

and with all haste, seeing the brevity of our alloted time, I swear by

Hell and by Perdition, and by the vast, eternal gloom, that upon you,

yourselves, my ire first shall fall, with pain the like of which the

oldest amongst you hath never proved.” Whereupon he frowned until the

court became sevenfold darker than before.

Next him, Moloch one of the infernal potentates, stood up, and after

making due obeisance to his king, spake thus:—“Oh Emperor of the Sky,

great ruler of the darkness, none ever doubted my desire to practice

utmost bale and cruelty, for that has always been my pleasure; no sound

was more delightful to mine years than the shrieks of children perishing

in the flames outside Jerusalem, where in former days they were

sacrificed to me. And also after our crucified foe had returned to his

celestial home, I, during the reigns of ten emperors, continued as long

as it availed me, slaying and burning his followers in my attempt to

sweep the Christians off the face of the earth. And afterwards in Paris,

in England, and in several other places, did I cause many a massacre of

them; but what have we gained? The tree whose branches are lopped off

grows but the quicker; we snarl without the power of biting.”

“Pshaw!” exclaimed Lucifer, “shame! cowardly hosts that ye are! Never

more will I place my trust in you. This work I myself will perform, this

enterprise none shall partake with me. {87} In mine own imperial majesty

will I descend upon the earth, and alone will I devour all therein

contained; henceforth no man shall there be found to worship the Most

High.” Thereon he gave one terrific flying leap to start—a blaze of

living fire, but the hand overhead whirls the terrible dart so that he

trembles notwithstanding his rage, and ere he had gone far, an invisible

hand drags the brute back by the chain for all his struggles; his rage

becomes sevenfold more vehement, his eyes more fierce than dragons, thick

black clouds of smoke issue from his nostrils, livid flames from his

mouth and bowels, while he gnaws his chain in his grief, and mutters

fearful blasphemy and awful oaths.

At last, finding how futile was his attempt to sunder his bonds and how

unavailing to contend against the Almighty, he returned to his throne and

resumed his speech, in words somewhat more calm, but twice as malignant:

“Though none but the Omnipotent Thunderer could overcome my power and my

guile, to Him I am unwillingly constrained to submit; but I can pour

forth the vials of my wrath here below, nearer at hand, and let loose my

ire upon those who are already under my banner, and within the length of

my chain. Arise, ye too, ministers of destruction, lords of the

unquenchable fires, and as my anger and my venom overflow, and my malice

rush forth, do ye assiduously scatter all broadcast among the damned, and

chiefly among the Christians; urge on the engines of torture to their

uttermost; devise and invent; increase the heat of the fire and the

ebullition, until the hissing flood of the cauldrons overwhelms them; and

when their unutterable woes are extremest, then sneer at them and

mockingly reproach them, and when ye have exhausted all your store of

scorn and gall, hie to me and ye shall be replenished.”

A great stillness had brooded over hell for some time, while the pains

grew far more unbearable by being given no vent. But now the silence

which Lucifer had enjoined was broken, when the fierce butchers, like

bears maddened by hunger, fell upon their captives; then there arose such

doleful cries, such dismal howling, from every quarter, louder than the

roar of rushing torrents, than the rumble of an earthquake, till hell

itself became ten times more horrible. I would have died, had not my

friend saved me. “Quaff deep this time,” said he, “to give thee strength

to behold things yet more dire.” Hardly were the words from his lips,

when lo! heavenly Justice, who sits above the abyss, guardian of the

gates of Hell, advanced scourging three men with rods of fiery scorpions.

“Ha ha,” cried Lucifer, “here are three reverend gentlemen whom Justice

thought worthy himself to conduct to my kingdom.” “Woe’s me,” said one

of the three, “who ever wanted him to take the trouble?” “That matters

not,” answered he, with a look that made the fiends wax pale, and tremble

so that they knocked one against the other, “it was the will of the

Infinite Creator that I myself should lead to their home such accursed

murderers.” “Sirrah,”—addressing one of the demons,—“open me the fold of

the assassins, where Cain, Nero, Bradshaw, Bonner, Ignatius and

innumerable others like them dwell.” “Alack, alack! we have never slain

any man,” cried one. “No thanks to you that you did not, for time only

was wanting,” said Justice. When the den was opened, there came out such

a hideous blast of blood-red flames, and such a shriek as if a thousand

dragons were uttering their death-wail. As Justice was passing by on his

return, in an instant he caused such a tempest of fiery whirlwinds to

fall upon the Evil One and his princes that Lucifer was swept away, and

with him Beelzebub, Satan, Moloch, Abadon, Asmodai, Dagon, Apolyon,

Belphegor, Mephistopheles, and all their compeers, and they were hurled

headlong into a whirlpool which opened and closed in the centre of the

court and which, both in aspect and in the execrable stench that arose

from it, was a hundredfold more foul and horrid than anything I had ever

seen. Before I could ask aught, quoth the Angel: “This is the gulf that

reaches to another great world.” “What, pray, is that world called?” I

enquired. “’Tis called the bottomless pit or the Nethermost Hell, the

home of the devils, whither they now have gone. And those vast, dreary

wilds, parts of which thou hast traversed, are called the Region of

Despair, ordained for the condemned until the Judgment Day; then it will

become one with the utmost, bottomless Hell; then will one of us come and

seal up the devils and the damned together, never more to open upon them,

never to all eternity. In the meantime they have leave to come to this

colder country to torment lost souls. Yea, often are they suffered to

wander through the air, and about the earth, to tempt men into the

pernicious ways that lead to this horrible prison whence no man returns.”

While listening to this account, and wondering that the entrance of

Perdition should differ so from that of the Upper Hell, I heard the

tremendous clash of arms, and the roar of artillery, from one quarter,

and what seemed like loud-rumbling thunder answering from another

quarter, while the deadly rocks resounded. “This is the turmoil of war!”

I cried, “if there be war in hell.” “There is,” said he, “there cannot

be but continuous warfare here.” When we were on the point of going out

to know of the affair, I beheld the jaws of the Pit open and belch forth

thousands of hideous, greenish candles—for such had Lucifer and his

chiefs become after surviving the tempest. But when he heard the din of

war he turned more livid than Death, and began to call out, and levy

armies of his proven veterans to suppress the tumult. While thus

occupied he came across a little imp, who had escaped between the feet of

the warriors. “What is the matter?” demanded the King. “Such a matter

as will endanger your crown, an you look not to it.” Close upon this

one’s heels another devilish courier in a harsh voice cries: “You that

plan the disquietude of others, look now to your own peace; yonder are

the Turks, the Papists and the murderous Roundheads in three armies,

filling the whole plain of Darkness, committing every outrage and turning

everything topsy-turvey.” “How came they out?” demanded the Evil One,

frowning more terribly than Demigorgon. “The Papists,” said the

messenger, “somehow or other broke out of their purgatory, and then, to

pay off old scores, went to unhinge the portals of Mahomet’s paradise,

and let loose the Turks from their prison, and afterwards in the

confusion, through some ill chance, Cromwell’s crew escaped from their

cells.” Then Lucifer turned and peered beneath his throne, where every

damned king lay, and commanded that Cromwell himself should be kept

secure in his kennel, and that all the sultans should be guarded.

Accordingly, Lucifer and his host hurried across the sombre wilds of

darkness, each one’s own person furnishing light and heat; guided by the

tumultuous clangor he marched fearlessly upon them. Silence was

proclaimed in the King’s name, and Lucifer demanded the cause of such

uproar in his realm. “May it please your infernal majesty,” said

Mahomet, “a quarrel arose between myself and Pope Leo as to which had

done you the better service—my Koran or the Romish religion; and when

this was going on a pack of Roundheads, who had broken out of their

prison during the disorder, joined in and clamoured that their Solemn

League and Covenant deserved more respect at your hands than either; so,

from striving to striking from words to blows. But now, since your

majesty hath returned from hell, I lay the matter for your decision.”

“Stay, we’ve not done with you yet,” cried Pope Julius, and madly they

engage once more, tooth and nail, until the strokes clashed like

earthquakes; the three armies of the damned tore each other piecemeal,

and like snakes became whole again, and spread far and wide over the

jagged, burning crags, until Lucifer bade his veterans, the giants of

Hell, separate them, which indeed was no easy task.

When the conflict ceased, Pope Clement spake—“Thou Emperor of Horrors, no

throne has ever performed more faithful and universal service to the

infernal crown than have the bishops of Rome, throughout a large portion

of the world, for eleven centuries, and I hope you will allow none to vie

with them for your favor.” “Well,” said a Scotch-man of Cromwell’s gang,

“however great has been the service of the Koran for these eight hundred

years, and of popish superstitions for a longer period, yet the Covenant

has done far more since its appearance, and everyone begins to doubt the

others and be weary of them, but we are still increasing, the wide world

over, and have much power in the island of your foes, that is, in Britain

and in London, the happiest city under the sun.” “Ha ha,” exclaimed

Lucifer, “if I hear rightly ye too are about to suffer disgrace there.

But whatever ye may have done in other kingdoms, I will have none of your

rioting in mine. Wherefore make your peace forthwith under the penalty

of more woes, bodily and spiritual.” And at the word I could see many of

the fiends and all the damned, with their tails between their hoofs,

steal away to their holes in fear of a change for the worse.

Then after ordering all to be locked up in their lairs, and punishing and

dismissing the officers whose carelessness had allowed them to break

loose, Lucifer and his counsellors returned to the court, and sat once

more upon the fiery thrones, according to their rank; and when silence

had been obtained, and the court cleared, a burly, lob-shouldered devil

threw down at the bar a fresh load of prisoners. “Is this the way to

Paradise?” asked one (for they had no idea where they were). “Or if this

be Purgatory,” said another, “I have a dispensation under the Pope’s own

signet to pass straight on to Paradise, without a moment’s delay

anywhere; wherefore show us the way, or by the Pope’s toe, we will have

him punish you.” “Ha ha,” laughed a thousand demons, and Lucifer himself

opened his tusked jaws some half a yard in scornful laughter. At which

the new comers were sore amazed. “Look ye,” said one, “if we have missed

our way in the dark, we will pay for guidance.” “Ha ha,” cried Lucifer,

“ye shall not hence till ye have paid the uttermost farthing.” But on

searching them it was found that they had one and all left their trouser

behind. “Ye went past Paradise on the left above those mountains there,”

said the Evil One, “and although it is easy to descend hither, to return

is next to impossible, so dark and intricate is the country, so many

steep ascents of flaming iron are there on the way, and huge imminent

rocks, overhanging glaciers of insurmountable ice, and here and there, a

headlong cataract, all too difficult to clamber over, if ye have not

nails as long as a devil’s. Ho there! convey these blockheads to our

paradise to their companions.” Just then I heard voices drawing nigh,

swearing and cursing fearfully. “Fiends’ blood! a myriad devils seize me

if ever I go!” and immediately the noisy crew were cast down before the

court. “There,” exclaimed the steed that bore them, “there is fuel with

the best in hell.” “What are they?” asked Lucifer. “Past masters in the

gentle art of swearing and cursing,” said he, “who knew the language of

hell as well as we do.” “A lie to your face, i’ the devil’s name!” cried

one. “Sirrah! wilt take my name in vain?” said the Evil One. “Ho, seize

them and hook them by their tongues, to that burning precipice, and be at

hand to serve them; if on one devil they call, or on a thousand, they

shall have their fill.”

When these had departed, a gigantic fiend calls loudly for clearing the

bar, and throws down thereat a man who was a load in himself. “What hast

thou there?” demanded Lucifer. “An innkeeper,” answered he. “What?”

cried the King, “only one innkeeper, when they used to come by the

thousands. Hast thou, sirrah, not been out for ten years, and dost bring

hither but one, and such an one as would serve us in the world better

than thee, foul lazy hound!” “You are too just to condemn me before

hearing me,” pleaded he, “he was the only one laid to my charge, and now

I am rid of him. But I despatched you from his house many an idler who

drank his family’s maintenance, and now and then a dicer, and card

player, a fine swearer, an innocent glutton, a negligent tapster and a

maid, harsh in the kitchen, but never a kinder abed or in the cellar.”

“Although this fellow deserves to be with the flatterers beneath,” said

the Evil One, “natheless take him to his comrades in the cell of the

liquid-poisoners, among the apothecaries and drugsters who have concocted

drinks to murder their customers; boil him well for that he did not brew

better beer.” “By your leave,” began the innkeeper tremblingly, “I

deserve no such treatment, the trade must be carried on.” “Couldst thou

not have lived,” quoth the Evil One, “without allowing rioting and

gambling, wantonness and drunkenness, oaths and quarrels, slanders and

lies? and wouldst thou, old hell-hound, now live better than we?

Prithee, tell what evil have we here which thou hadst not at thine home,

save the punishment alone? Indeed, to speak the plain truth here, the

infernal heat and cold are nothing new to thee. Hast thou not seen

sparks of our fire upon the tongues of the cursers and the scolds, whilst

dragging their husbands home? Was there not a deal of the undying flame

on the drunkard’s lips or in the eyes of the angry? And couldst thou not

perceive a trace of hellish cold in the rake’s generosity, and especially

in thine own kindness towards him as long as he had anything in his

possession; in the mocker’s jest; in the praise of the envious and of the

defamer, in the promises of the lecherous, or in the limbs of thy boon

companions, benumbed beneath thy tables? Is hell strange to thee whose

very home is a hell? Aroint thee, flamhound, to thy penance!”

After that ten devils, panting heavily, drop their burdens upon the fiery

floor. “What have ye?” asked Lucifer. “We have what a day or two ago

were called kings,” answered one of the fiendish steeds. (I sought

carefully to see whether Lewis of France were among them.) “Throw them

here,” bade the King; and at that they were thrown amongst the other

crowned heads that lay beneath Lucifer’s feet; and following the monarchs

came their courtiers and their flatterers to receive sentence. Before I

had time to ask any question, I heard the blast of brazen trumpets and

shouts. “Make way, make way,” and at once there came in view a herd of

assize-men and devils bearing the train of six justices, and millions of

their race—barristers, {95a} attorneys, clerks, recorders, bailiffs,

catchpolls, and the litigous busybody. I wondered that none of them was

examined; but in truth, they knew the matter had gone too far against

them, so none of the learned counsels opened their lips, but the busybody

threatened that he would bring an action for false imprisonment against

Lucifer. “Thou shalt have good cause of complaint now,” said the Evil

One, “and never see a court at all.” Then he donned his red cap, and

with unbearable, haughty mien, said: “Go, take the justices to the hall

of Pontius Pilate, to Master Bradshaw, who condemned King Charles; pack

the barristers with the assassins of Sir Edmundbury Godfrey, {95b} and

their other false co-partners who simulate mutual contention, merely in

order to slay whomsoever might interpose. Go, greet that prudent lawyer,

who, when dying offered a thousand pounds for a good conscience, and ask

whether he is now willing to give more. Roast the lawyers by the fire of

their own parchments and papers till their learned bowels burst forth;

let the litigous busybodies hang above them with their nostrils deepest

down the roasting chimneys, in order to inhale the noxious vapors arising

thence, to see if they will ever get their fill of law. Throw the

recorders amongst the retailers who prevent or forestall the sale of

corn, who mix it and sell the mixture at double the price of the pure

corn: similarly, they demand for wrong double the fees formerly given for

right. As to the catchpolls, let them free to hunt about and lie in the

ravines and bushes of the earth, to capture those that are debtors to the

infernal crown; for what devil of you could do the work better than

they?”

Shortly there appear twenty demons, like Scotch-men, with packs across

their shoulders, which they cast down before the throne of despair, and

which turned out to be gipsies. “Ho there!” cried Lucifer, “how was it

that ye who knew the fortune of others so well, did not know that your

own fortune was leading you hither?” No answer was given, for they were

amazed at seeing here beings uglier than themselves. “Throw the

tan-faced loons to the witches,” bade the King, “there are no cats or

rush-lights here for them, but divide a frog between them every ten

thousand years, if they will be quiet and not deafen us with their

barbarous chatter.”

After them came, methought, thirty labourers. Everybody wondered to see

so many of that honest calling, so seldom did any of them appear; but

they did not all come from the same parts nor for like faults—some for

raising prices, many for withholding their tithes, and defrauding the

parson of his dues, others for leaving their work to follow after the

gentry, and who in trying to stride along with their masters, strained

themselves, some for doing work on the Sabbath, some for thinking of

their sheep and kine in church, instead of giving attention to the

reading of Holy Writ, and others for wrongful bargains. When Lucifer

began to question them, lo! they were all as pure as gold, and not one of

them found anything amiss in himself so as to deserve such a dwelling

place. One can scarcely believe what neat excuses each one had to hide

his sin, although they were already in hell for it, offering them merely

out of evil disposition to thwart Lucifer and to accuse the righteous

Judge, who had condemned them, of injustice. But it was still more

astonishing to see how cleverly the Evil One exposed their foul sins, and

how he answered with a home-thrust their false excuses. When these were

about to receive their infernal doom, forty scholars were borne forward

by porpoise-shaped fiends, uglier, if possible, than Lucifer himself.

And when they heard the labourers pleading, they too waxed bold to give

excuses, but what ready answers the old Serpent had for them with all

their knavery and learning! As it happened that I heard similar pleas in

another court of justice I will hereafter recount them together, and now

proceed with what I saw in the meantime.

Lucifer had barely pronounced their sentence—that they should be driven

to the great glacier in the land of eternal ice, a doom that set their

teeth a-gnashing, even before they saw their prison, when suddenly, hell

again most marvellously resounded with the crash of terrible bolts, with

loud-rolling thunder, and with every noise of war. Lucifer loured and

grew pale; in a moment, there flew in a wry-footed imp, panting and

trembling. “What is the matter?” cried Lucifer. “A matter fraught with

the greatest peril for you since hell is hell,” said the dwarf, “all the

ends of the kingdom of darkness have risen up against you and against

each other, especially those between whom there was longstanding enmity,

who are already locked together fang to fang, so that it is impossible to

pull them apart. Soldiers have attacked the doctors for taking away

their trade of slaughter; a myriad userers have fallen upon the lawyers,

for claiming a share in the business of robbery; the busybodies and the

swindlers are tearing the gentlemen, limb-meal, for unnecessary swearing

and cursing, whereby they gained their living. Harlots and their

minions, and a million other old friends and former comrades have fallen

out with one another irreconcilably. But worst of all is the fray raging

between the misers and their own offspring, for wasting the goods and

money which, the old pinchfists aver, ‘cost us much pain on earth, and

here endless anguish.’ Their sons, on the other hand, cursing and

rending them outrageously, call for eternal ruin upon their heads for

leaving overmuch wealth to madden them with pride and riotous living,

when a little, under the blessing of heaven, would have rendered them

happy in both worlds.” “Enough, enough,” cried Lucifer, “there is more

need of arms than words. Return, sirrah, and play the spy in every watch

to find the where and why of this great negligence, for there’s some

treachery in the air we wot not of as yet.” The imp departed at his

bidding, and in the meantime Lucifer and his compeers arose in terror and

exceeding fear, and ordered the levying of the bravest armies of the

black angels; and having disposed them, he himself started foremost to

quell the rebellion, his chieftains and their hosts going other ways.

The royal army, like shafts of lightning across the hideous gloom,

advanced (and we in their rear); ere long the uproar falls upon their

ears; a fiendish bellower cries, “Silence, in the King’s name!” to no

purpose, it would be an easier task to hale apart old beavers than one of

these. But when Lucifer’s veterans dashed into their midst, the growls,

and blows, and battering lessened. “Silence in Lucifer’s name!” roared

the devil a second time. “What is this,” demanded the King, “and who are

these?” “Nothing, sire, but that in the general confusion, the drovers

came across the cuckolds, and set a-butting to prove whose horns were the

harder; it might have turned out seriously, had not your horned giants

joined in the affray.” “Well,” said Lucifer, “since ye are all so ready

with your arms, come with me to trounce the other rebels.” But when the

rumour reached these that Lucifer was approaching with three horned

armies, everyone made for his lair.

So he marched on across the desolate plains unresisted, and seeking in

vain the cause of the revolt. After a while, however, one of the King’s

spies returns, quite out of breath: “Most noble, Lucifer! Moloch, your

prince, hath subdued part of the North, and hath cut thousands to pieces

upon the glaciers, but there are three or four dangerous evils still

threatening you.” “Whom meanest thou?” asked Lucifer. “The Slanderer,

the Busybody, and the Lawmonger, have broken out of their prisons and got

free.” “No wonder then,” said the Evil One, “if further troubles arise.”

Then there comes another spy from the South, informing that matters would

soon reach a dire pass in that quarter if the three who had already

thrown the West into utter confusion be not taken, namely, the Huntress,

the Rogue and the Swaggerer. “Since the day I tempted Adam from his

garden,” said Satan, who stood next but one to Lucifer, “I have never

seen so many evils of his race at liberty together. The Huntress, the

Swaggerer, the Rogue, on the one hand, and on the other, the Slanderer,

the Lawmonger and the Busybody—a mixture would make devils reach.”

“Little wonder, verily,” said Lucifer, “that they were so much hated by

all on earth, seeing that they are capable of causing such trouble to us

here.” Not long after, the Huntress comes to meet the King upon the way.

“Ho! grandam o’ the breeches,” cries a shrill-voiced demon, “good night

to you.” “Thy grandam on which side, prithee?” said she, displeased

because he did not “madam” her. “You are a fine king, Lucifer, to keep

such impudent rascals about you; a thousand pities that such a vast realm

should be under so impotent a ruler; would that I might be made its

regent.” Then comes the Swaggerer, nodding in the dark—“Your humble

servant, sir,” saith he to one, over his shoulder; “Are you quite well?”

to another; “Can I be of any service to you?” addressing a third, with a

leering smirk, and to the Huntress: “Your beauty quite fascinates me,

madam.” “Oh oh,” cried she, “away with the hell-hound;” and all join in

the shout: “Away with this new tormentor, hell on hell that he is!” “Let

both be bound together hand and foot,” commanded Lucifer. Soon after the

Lawmonger comes on the scene between two devils. “Ho, ho, thou angel of

peace,” exclaimed Lucifer, “hast thou come? Keep him safe, guards, at

your peril!” Before we had gone far, the Rogue and the Slanderer

appeared, chained between forty devils, and whispering to one another.

“Most noble Lucifer,” began the Rogue, “I am very sorry there is so much

disturbance in your kingdom; but if I may be heard, I will teach you a

better method. Under the pretence of holding a Parliament, you can cite

all the damned into the burning Evildom, and then bid the devils hurl

them headlong to bottomless perdition, and lock them up in its vortex, to

trouble you no more.” “But the Common Meddler is still missing,” said

Lucifer, frowning most darkly at the Rogue. When we reached once more

the entrance of the infernal court, who should come straight to meet the

King but the Busybody. “Ah, your majesty, I have a word with you.” “And

I have one or two with you, peradventure,” said the Evil One. “I have

been over the half of Hell,” said he, “to see how your affairs went. You

have many officers in the East who are remiss, and take their ease

instead of attending to the torturing of their prisoners and to their

safe keeping; it was this that gave rise to the great rebellion. And

moreover many of your fiends, and of the lost whom you sent to the world

to tempt men, have not returned, although their time is up, and others

have come, but hide rather than give an account of their doings.”

Then commanded Lucifer his herald to summon a second Parliament, and in

the twinkling of an eye all the potentates and their officers were again

in attendance at their infernal _Eisteddfod_. The first thing done was

to change the officers, and to order a place to be made round the mouth

of the pit for the Swaggerer and the Huntress, linked face to face, and

for the other rebels, bound topsy-turvy together; and a law was published

that whosoever of the demons or of the damned thenceforth transgressed

his duty should be thrown into their midst till doomsday. At these words

all the fiends and even Lucifer himself trembled and were sore perturbed.

Then next came the trial of the devils and the lost who had been sent to

earth to find “associates and co-partners of their loss;” the devils gave

a clear account, but the statement of the damned was so hazy and

uncertain, that they were driven to the ever-burning school, and there

scourged with fiery, knotted serpents to teach them their task the

better. “Here’s a wench that’s pretty enough when dressed up,” said an

imp, “she was sent up into the world to gain you new subjects; and whom

should she first tempt but a weary ploughman, homeward wending his way,

late from his toils, who, instead of succumbing to her wiles, went on his

knees praying to be saved from the devil and his angels.” “Ho there!”

cried Lucifer, “throw her to that worthless losel who long ago loved

Einion ab Gwalchmai of Mona.” {102} “Stay, stay,” pleaded the fair one,

“this is but my first offence; there is yet scarcely a year since the day

when all was over with me, when I was condemned to your cursed state, Oh

king of woes!” “No, there is not yet three weeks,” said the demon that

had brought her there. “How therefore,” said she, “would you have me be

as skilled as those lost beings who have been here three or four

centuries hunting their prey? If you desire better service at my hands,

let me go free into the world once more to roam about uncensured; and if

I bring you not twenty adulterers for every year I am out, mete me what

punishment you list.” Nevertheless the verdict went against her, and she

was doomed to live a hundred long years under chastisement, that she

might be more careful a second time. Presently, another devil entered,

pushing to the front a man. “Here is a fine messenger,” he said, “who

wandering the other night in his old neighbourhood above, saw a thief

stealing a stallion, but could not help him even to catch the foal

without showing himself; and the thief, when he saw him, abandoned that

career for ever.” “Begging the court’s pardon,” said the man, “if the

thief’s child was endowed with power from above to see me, could I help

that? Moreover, this is only a single case; ’t is not a hundred years

since that day which put an end to all my hopes for ever, and how many of

my own family and of my neighbours have I enticed here after me in that

time? Perdition hold me, if I am not as dutiful to my trade as the best

of you, but the wisest is sometimes at fault.” Then said Lucifer: “Throw

him into the school of the fairies, who are still under castigation for

their mischievous tricks in days gone by, when they were wont to strangle

and threaten their neighbours, and so awaken them from their torpor; for

their fear probably had more influence upon them than forty sermons.”

Then came four constables, an accuser, and fifteen of the damned,

dragging forward two devils. “Lest you lay the blame of every wrongful

service upon the children of Adam,” said the accuser, “here are two of

your old angels who misspent their time above as much as the two who were

last before the court. Here is a rogue quite as worthless as that one at

Shrewsbury the other day, when the Interlude of _Doctor Faustus_ was

being played, amidst all manner of most wanton and lascivious revelries,

and where many things were going on conducive to the welfare of your

realm; when they were busiest, the devil himself appeared to play his

part, and so drove all away from pleasure to prayers. Even so this one,

in his wanderings over the world: he heard some people talk of walking

round the church {104} to see their sweethearts, and what should the fool

do but show himself to the simpletons in his own natural form, and though

their fright was great they recovered their senses, and made a vow to

leave that vanity for ever; whereas had he only assumed the form of some

vile jades, they would have held themselves bound to accept those; and so

the foul fiend might have been master of the household with both parties,

since he himself had mated them. And here is another, who went, last

Twelfth Night, to visit two Welsh lasses who were turning their shifts,

and instead of enticing them to wantonness in the form of a fair youth,

to one he took a bier, to make her thoughts more serious; to the other,

he went with the tumult of war in a hellish whirlwind, to make her madder

than before; and this was quite needless. Nor was this all; for after he

had entered the maiden, and had thrown her about, and sorely tormented

her, some of our learned enemies were sent for to pray for her and to

cast him out, and instead of tempting her to despair and endeavouring to

win over the preachers, he began to preach to them, and to disclose the

mysteries of your kingdom, thus aiding their salvation instead of

hindering it.” At the word “salvation” I saw some leaping up, a living

fire of rage. “Every tale is fair till the other side be told,” quoth

the devil, “I hope Lucifer will not allow one of the earth-born race of

Adam to contend with me, who am an angel of far superior kind and stock.”

“His punishment is certain,” said Lucifer, “but do thou, sirrah, give

clear and ready answer to these charges; or by hopeless Hell I will—.”

“I have led hither,” said he, “many a soul since Satan was in the Garden

of Eden, and I ought to understand my business, better than this upstart

accuser.” “Blood of infernal firebrands,” cried Lucifer, “did I not bid

thee answer clearly and readily?” “By your leave,” said the demon, “I

have preached a hundred times, and have denounced many of the various

ways that lead to your confines, and yet at the same breath, have quietly

brought them hither safe and sound by some other delusive path, just as I

did while preaching recently in the German States, in one of the Faro

Isles, and in several other places. In this manner, through my preaching

have many Papist beliefs, and old traditions come first into the world,

and all in the guise of goodness. For who ever would swallow a baitless

hook? Who ever gained credence for a tale which had not some truth

mingled with the false, or some little good overshadowing the bad? So,

if whilst preaching I can instil one counsel of mine own among a hundred

that are good and true, by means of that one, through heedlessness or

superstition, will more weal betide your kingdom than woe through all the

others ever.” “Well,” said Lucifer, “since thou canst do so much good in

the pulpit, I bid thee dwell seven years in the mouth of a barndoor

preacher who always utter what first comes to his mind; there thou wilt

have an opportunity of putting in a word now and then to thine own

purpose.”

There were many more devils and damned darting to and fro like lightning

about the awful throne, to count and to receive offices. But suddenly

without any warning there came a command for all the messengers and

prisoners to depart from the court, each one to his den, leaving the King

and his chief counsellors alone together. “Is it not better for us also

to depart, lest they find us?” I asked my friend. “Thou needest have no

fear,” answered the angel, “no unclean spirit can ever pierce this veil.”

Wherefore we remained there invisible, to see the issue.

Then Lucifer began graciously to address his peers thus:—“Ye mightiest

spirits of evil, ye archfiends of hellish guile, the utmost of your

malicious wiles am I now constrained to demand. All here know that

Britain and its adjacent isles is the realm most dangerous to my state,

and fullest of mine enemies; and what is a hundredfold worse, there

reigns now a queen most dangerous of all, who has never once inclined

hither, nor along the old way of Rome on the one hand nor yet along the

way of Geneva on the other: to think what great good the Pope has for a

long time done us there and Oliver even to this day! What therefore

shall we do? I fear me we shall entirely lose our ancient possession of

that mart unless we instantly set-to to pave a new way for them to travel

over, for they know too well all the old roads that lead hitherwards.

Since this invincible hand shortens my chain, and prevents me from going

myself to the earth, your advice I pray. Whom shall I appoint my viceroy

to oppose yon hateful queen, Our Enemy’s vicegerent?”

“Oh! thou great Emperor of Darkness,” said Cerberus, {106} the demon of

tobacco, “’tis I that supply the third of that country’s maintenance, I

shall go, and I will despatch you a hundred thousand of your foemen’s

souls through a pipe stem.” “In sooth,” said Lucifer, “thou hast done me

some good service, what with causing the slaughter of the owners in India

and poisoning those that indulge in it, through the saliva, sending many

to wander with it idly from house to house, others to steal in order to

obtain it, and millions to grow that fond of it that they cannot spend a

single day without it, and be in their right mind. For all this, go and

do thy best, but thou art nought to our present purpose.”

Whereupon Cerberus sat down; then rose Mammon, the devil of money, and

with surly skulking mien began: “’T was I who pointed out the first mine

whence money was to be obtained, and ever since I am praised and

worshipped more than God, and men lay their pain and peril, all their

mind, their affection and their trust upon me, yea, there is no man

content, but all crave more of my favor; the more they obtain, the

further still are they from rest, until at last, while seeking ease, they

come to this region of everlasting woes. How many a crafty old miser

have I enticed hither over paths that were harder to traverse than those

that lead to the realm of bliss? Whenever a fair was held, a market,

assize or election, or any other concourse, who had more subjects than I

or greater power and authority? Cursing, swearing, fighting, litigation,

falsehood and deceit, beating, clawing, murdering and robbing one

another, Sabbath-breaking, perjury, cruelty, and what black mark besides,

which stamps men as of Lucifer’s fold, that I have not had a hand in

placing? For which reason have I been called ‘the root of all evil.’

Wherefore, an it please your majesty, I will go.”

He ceased. Then Apolyon uprose and spoke: “I know of nought more certain

to lead them hither than what brought you here, {107} and that is Pride;

once it plants its straight stake in them and puffs them up, there is no

need to fear that they will condescend to bear the cross or go through

the narrow gate. I will go with your daughter Pride, and before they can

realise where they are, I will drive the Welsh hither headlong while

admiring the pomp of the English, and the English while imitating the

vivacity of the French.”

After him arose Asmodai, the devil of lust: “’T is not unknown to you,

mightiest King of the deep, nor to you, princes of the land of despair,

how many of the gulfs of hell have I filled through voluptuousness and

lewdness. What of the time I kindled such a flame of lust over all the

world that the deluge had needs be sent to clear the earth of men, and to

sweep them all into our unquenchable fire? What of Sodoma and Gomorrah,

fine and fair cities, which I so consumed with licentiousness that a

hell-shower blazed in their infernal lusts and beat them down here alive,

to burn for ages on ages. And what of the great hosts of the Assyrians,

who were all slain in one night on my account? I disappointed Sarah of

seven husbands’ {108} and Solomon and many a thousand other kings did I

bring to shame through women. Wherefore let me and this sweet sin go,

and I will kindle the hellish spark so generally that it will at length

become one with this inextinguishable flame, for scarce one will ever

return from following me to walk in the paths of life.” At that he sat

down.

Then Belphegor, chief of sloth and idleness, stood up and spake thus: “I

am the great prince of listlessness and sloth, who have great influence

upon millions of all sorts and conditions of men; I am that stagnant pond

where the spawn of every evil is bred, where the dregs of every

corruption and baleful slime grows rank. What good wouldst thou be,

Asmodai, or ye, chief damned evils, were I not? I, who keep the windows

open and unguarded that ye may enter into the man when ye will, through

his eyes, his ears and his mouth. I will go and roll them all over the

precipice unto you in their sleep.”

Then Satan, the devil of delusion, who was on Lucifer’s left hand, arose,

and turning his grim visage to the king, began: “It is unnecessary for me

to recount my deeds to thee, Oh lost Archangel, or to you, swarthy

princes of Destruction: for ’twas I who dealt the first blow to man, and

mighty was that blow, to be the cause of death from the beginning of the

world to its end. Is it likely that I, who erst ravaged all the earth,

could not now give advice that would serve one little isle? Could not I,

who deceived Eve in Paradise, overcome Anne in Britain? If inborn craft

and continuous experience for five thousand years profit aught, my advice

is that you adorn your daughter Hypocrisy to deceive Britain and its

queen: you have no other as serviceable as she; her sway extends more

widely than that of all the rest of your daughters, and her subjects are

more numerous. Was it not through her that I beguiled the first woman?

And ever since she has remained on earth and waxed very great therein, so

that by now the world is hardly anything but one mass of hypocrisy. And

were it not for the craftiness of Hypocrisy how could anyone of us do

business in any part of the world? For what man would ever have aught to

do with sin, did he once behold it in its true color and under its own

proper name? He would sooner clasp a devil in his own infernal shape and

garb. If it were not that Hypocrisy can disguise the name and nature of

every evil under the semblance of some good, and give a bad name to every

goodness, no man at all would put forth his hand to do evil or would lust

after it. Walk through the entire city of Destruction and ye will

perceive her greatness in every quarter. Go to the street of Pride and

ask for an arrogant man or for a penny-worth of affectation mixed through

pride: ‘Woe is me,’ exclaims Hypocrisy, ‘there is no such thing here,’

no, nor for a devil, anything else in the whole street save proud

demeanour. Or walk into the street of Lucre and enquire for the miser’s

house: pshaw, there is no one of the kind therein; or for the dwelling of

the murderer among the doctors, or for the abode of highwaymen amongst

the drovers; thou wouldst sooner be thrown to prison for asking than that

one should confess to his own name. Yea, Hypocrisy crawls in between a

man and his own heart, and so skilfully does she hide every wrong under

the name and guise of some virtue that she has caused well nigh all to

lose cognisance of their own selves. Greed she calls thrift; in her

tongue riotous living is innocent joy; pride is courtesy; the froward, a

clever, courageous man; the drunkard, a boon companion; and adultery is a

mere freak of youth. On the other hand, if she and her scholars’ {110}

are to be believed, the godly is a hypocrite or a fool; the gentle, a

coward; the abstemious, a churl, and so for every other quality. Send

her thither in all her adornment, and I warrant you she will deceive

everyone; she will blinden the counsellors, the soldiers, and all the

officers of church and state, and will draw them hither in hurrying

multitudes with the varicolored mask upon their eyes.” Whereupon he too

sat down.

Then Beelzebub, the devil of thoughtlessness stood up, and in a harsh

voice said: “I am the great prince of heedlessness whose duty it is to

prevent a man taking reflective heed of his state; I am chief of the

incessant hell-flies who utterly amaze men, ever dinning in their ears

concerning their possessions or their pleasures, and never willingly

allowing them a moment’s leisure to think of their ways or of their end.

No one of you must dare enter the lists against me in feats serviceable

to the realm of darkness. For what is tobacco, but one of my meanest

weapons to stupefy the brain? What is Mammon’s kingdom but a part of my

great dominion? Yea, were I to loosen the bonds I have upon the subjects

of Mammon and Pride, and even of Asmodai, Belphegor and Hypocrisy, no man

would for an instant abide their domination. Wherefore I will do the

work and let no one of you ever utter a word.”

Then great Lucifer himself arose from his burning seat, and having turned

his hideous face to both sides, thus began: “Ye chief spirits of the

Eternal Night, princes of hopeless guile, although the vasty gloom and

the wilds of Destruction are more bounden to none for their inhabitants

than to mine own supreme majesty—for it was I who erewhile wishing to

usurp the Almighty’s throne, drew myriads of you, my swarthy angels, at

my tail into these deadly horrors, and afterwards drew unto you myriads

of men to share this region—yet there is no gainsay that ye all have done

your share in maintaining and extending this great infernal empire.”

Then he began to answer them one by one: “Considering thy recent origin,

Cerberus, I will not deny but that thou hast gained for us much prey in

the island of our foes through tobacco. For they that carry, mix, and

weigh it, practise all manner of fraud; and by its indulgence some are

led on to habitual drinking, some to curse and swear, and some to seek it

through blandishment, and to lie in denying their use of it—not to speak

of the injury it inflicts upon many, and its immoderate use upon all,

body as well as soul. And better than that, myriads of the poor, whom

else we never should touch, sink hither through laying the burden of

their affection upon tobacco, and allowing it to be their master, to

steal the bread from their children’s mouth. Then, brother Mammon, your

power is so universal and so well-known on earth that it is a proverb,

‘Everything may be had for money.’ And without doubt,” said he, turning

to Apolyon, “my beloved daughter Pride is most serviceable to us, for

what can there be more pernicious to a man’s estate, to his body and

soul, than that proud, obdurate opinion which will make him squander a

hundred pounds rather than yield a crown to secure peace. She keeps them

all so stiff-necked and so intent on things on high that it is amusing to

see them, while gazing upwards, and ‘extolling their heads to the stars’

fall straightway into the depths of hell. You too, Asmodai, we all

remember your great services in the past; there is none more resolute

than you to keep safe his prisoners under lock and key, nor any so

unimpeachable. Nowadays a wanton freak provokes only a little laughter,

but you came near perishing there from famine during the recent years of

dearth. And you, my son Belphegor, verminous prince of sloth, no one has

afforded us more pleasure than you; your influence is exceeding great

among noblemen and also among the common people, even to the beggar. And

were it not for the skill of my daughter Hypocrisy in coloring and

adorning, who ever would swallow a single one of our hooks? But after

all, if it were not for the unwearying courage of my brother Beelzebub in

keeping men in heedless dazedness, ye all would not be worth a straw.

Let us once more recapitulate. What good wouldst thou be, Cerberus, with

thy foreign whiff, if Mammon did not succour thee? What merchant would

ever run such risks to obtain thy paltry leaves from India, except for

Mammon’s sake? And only for him what king would receive them, especially

into Britain, and who but for his sake would carry them to every part of

the kingdom? Yet how worthless thou too wouldst be, Mammon, if Pride did

not lavish thee upon fair mansions, fine clothes, needless lawsuits,

gardens and horses, extravagant relatives, numerous dishes, floods of

beer and ale, beyond the power and station of their owner; for if money

were spent within the limit of necessity and of becoming moderation, what

would Mammon avail us? Thus thou art nought without Pride; and little

would Pride profit without Wantonness, for bastards are the most numerous

and the most fierce of all the subjects of my daughter Pride. And thou,

Asmodai, what wouldst thou profit us were it not for Sloth and Idleness?

Where wouldst thou obtain a night’s lodging? Thou wouldst not dare

expect it from a laborer or diligent student. And who, for the dishonor

and the shame, would ever give thee, Belphegor the Slothful, a moment’s

welcome, if Hypocrisy did not disguise thy foulness under the name of an

internal disease, or as a good intent or a seeming despisal of wealth or

the like. She too—my dear daughter Hypocrisy—what good is or ever would

she be, notwithstanding her skill as a seamstress, and her boldness,

without thy aid, my eldest brother, Beelzebub, great chief of

Distraction: if he gave people peace and leisure to reflect seriously

upon the nature of things and their differences, how long would it take

them to find holes in the folds of Hypocrisy’s golden garments, and to

see the hooks through the bait? What man in his senses would gather

together toys and fleeting pleasures, surfeiting, vain and disgraceful,

and choose them in preference to a calm conscience and the bliss of a

glorious eternity? Who would refuse to suffer the pangs of martyrdom for

his faith for an hour or a day, or affliction for forty or sixty years,

if he considered that his neighbours suffer here in an hour more than he

could suffer on earth for ever. Tobacco is nothing without Money, or

Money without Pride, and Pride is but a weakling without Wantonness, nor

is Wantonness aught without Sloth, nor Sloth without Hypocrisy, nor

Hypocrisy without Thoughtlessness. Wherefore, now,” said Lucifer,

lifting his infernal hoofs on their claw-ends, “to give my own opinion:

however excellent all these may be, I have a friend better suited than

all to our foe of Britain.” Then could I see all the archfiends open

wide their horrid mouths upon Lucifer in eager expectation as to what

this could possibly be, while I too was as anxious as they. “A friend,”

continued Lucifer, “whose true worth I have too long neglected, just as

thou, Satan, tempting Job of yore, didst foolishly turn upon him with

severity. This, my kinswoman, I now appoint regent in all matters

appertaining to my kingdom on earth, next to myself. Her name is

Prosperity: she has damned more than all of you together, and little

would ye avail without her presence. For who in war or peril, in famine

or in plague, would lay any value by tobacco, or by money or by the

sprightliness of pride, or who would deign welcome licentiousness or

sloth? And men in such straits are too wide-awake to be distraught by

Hypocrisy, or even by Thoughtlessness; none of the infernal vermin of

Distraction dare show himself in one such storm. Whereas Prosperity,

with its ease and comfort, is the nurse of all of you; beneath her

peaceful shadow and upon her tranquil bosom ye all are nourished, and

every other hellish worm that has its place in the conscience and will be

for ever here gnawing its possessor. As long as one is at ease, there is

no talk but of merriment, of feasts, bargains, genealogies, tales, news

and the like; the name of God is never mentioned except in profane oaths

and curses, whereas the poor and the afflicted have His name upon their

lips and in their hearts always. Go ye, the seven of you, and follow her

and be mindful to keep all a-slumbering and in peace, in good fortune, in

ease and in perfect carelessness; then shall ye see the honest poor

become an untractable, arrogant knave, once he has quaffed of the

alluring cup of Prosperity; ye shall behold the diligent laborer become a

careless babbler and everything else that pleases you. For all seek and

love happy Prosperity; she neither hearkens to advice nor fears censure;

the good she knows not, the bad she nurtures. But this is the greatest

mishap: the man that escapes her sweet charms must be given up in

despair, we must bid farewell to his company for ever. Prosperity then

is my earthly vicegerent; follow her to Britain, and obey her as ye would

our own royal majesty.”

At that instant the huge bolt was whirled, and Lucifer and his chief

counsellors were swept away into the vortex of Uttermost Perdition; woe’s

me, how terrible it was to behold the jaws of Hell yawning wide to

receive them! “Come now,” said the Angel, “we will return, but what thou

hast seen is as nothing compared with all that is within the bounds of

Hell; and if thou didst see everything therein that again would be as

nought when compared with the unutterable woe of the Bottomless Pit; for

it is impossible to have any conception of the life in the Uttermost

Hell.” Then suddenly the heavenly Eagle caught me up into the vault of

the accursed gloom by a way I knew not, where, from the court, across the

entire firmament of dark-burning Perdition, and all the land of oblivion

up to the ramparts of the City of Destruction, I obtained full view of

the hideous monster of a giantess whose feet I had previously observed.

“Words fail me to describe her ways and means; but of herself I can tell

thee, that she was a three-faced ogress: one villainous face turned

towards Heaven, yelping and snarling and belching forth cursèd

abomination against the heavenly King; another face (and this was fair to

look upon) towards earth, to allure men beneath her baneful shadow; and

the other direful face towards the infernal abyss, to torture all therein

for ages without end. She is greater than the earth in its entirety, and

still continuously increases; she is a hundredfold more hideous than all

Hell which she herself created and which she peoples. If Hell were rid

of her, the vasty deep would be a Paradise; if she were driven from the

earth, the little world would become a heaven; and if she ascended into

Heaven, she would make an uttermost hell of that blissful realm. There

is nought in all the worlds which God has not created, save her alone.

She is the mother of the four deadly enchantresses; she is the mother of

Death and of all evil and misery, and her terrible grasp is upon every

living being. Her name is Sin. Blessed, ever blessed be he who escapes

from her clutches,” said the Angel. Thereupon he departed, and I could

hear the distant echo of his voice saying; “Write down what thou hast

seen; and whosoever readeth it thoughtfully will never repent.”